-James-
The wind howled and whistled. The moon shadowed the branches of a tree against my window. I watched the shadows on my ceiling, an arm folded behind my head, another resting on my stomach.
Violet wondered into my thoughts again. The feeling of her lips, her skin, her hands...my mind intertwined with the memories. Last weekend at my dad's wedding shouldn't have ended the way it did. It didn't end the way I had expected it to. The look on her face is forever etched into my mind. It was desire, regret, and maybe a little more desire.
Then I took her home.
She's avoided me at work, won't answer my calls, and hasn't even looked in my direction since that night.
My chest constricted again.
Instead of fighting with my thoughts even more, I got out of bed and got dressed in a pair of jeans, a random t-shirt, and a hoodie. I left Chaos sleeping on my bed and grabbed my keys before running out of my apartment.
I didn't waste any time getting into my car and driving off. The hour of the night wasn't ideal and I'm bound to piss someone off. It was almost midnight. I couldn't sleep and I needed to get out of my own head.
And Violet was the first person I thought of. It was time we talked. I needed to talk to her. To hear her voice...without her yelling at me I hope.
The closer I got to her house, the harder my heart started beating. When I got into her neighborhood, I parked at an empty house just a couple down from hers. The last thing I needed was for Gray to come out here and kick my ass. Not only would that do me damage, but also I know it would upset Violet.
I climbed out of my car and closed the door quietly behind me. My feet fell into step on the sidewalk. The two houses past in a blur and I stood in front of hers. My lungs inflated, taking in the cold night air, and I exhaled before walking around her house to her backyard.
This was going to be difficult.
Her room could be either of the two windows.
Luckily, one of the lights was on in one room. I'm lucky if one of these windows do belong to her room. I stepped up to the room with the light on, slowly curving my head around the panel to peek inside. This was creepy and I'm ashamed of myself right now. Part of myself wanted to laugh at how ridiculous this was though.
Through the crack of the curtains I saw Violet. She was sitting on her bed with a book between her hands.
I loosed the breath I had been holding and stepped away from the window. Letting the light from her room guide me, I kicked around to find a few small pebbles. A few steps further back, I threw the first pebble and listened to a small clink against her window.
When I was ready to throw the second one, her curtains opened and her eyes widened when she saw me. She unlocked the window and pushed it up. Reluctantly, I took a few steps closer to her as she stuck her head out the window. "What are you doing here?" She asked in a soft whisper.
"Meet me back here." I whispered back.
"Give me a minute."
I nodded and she closed the window back.
She didn't want to see me, I could tell. And I hate that feeling. Someone I wanted to see so badly doesn't necessarily want to see me.
The sound of small footsteps rustled through the grass. Violet walked around the side of the house, coming to a stop in front of me. The light leaking from her window illuminated the side of her face, leaving part of it shadowed. "You shouldn't be here, James."
"I know." I swallowed the lump in my throat, "I couldn't sleep."
"I'm sorry." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "But you have to go."
"Come with me." I blurted, taking a step closer.
Violet's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What?"
The urge to grab her hand was strong. "I want you to go for a drive with me."
"Right now?"
I nodded once.
"I can't just leave right now—"
"It's not long. I just want to talk." I rushed. "Just give me a couple of hours."
Her face softened as she searched my eyes. "Two hours."
We walked back around the house and down two more houses to find my car. She didn't ask, I didn't tell. I'm assuming she can guess why though. We got inside and I started the car before backing out and heading in a new direction.
Did I know where I was going? Not a clue. But I got her here and she's willing to talk to me. That's at least something.
It was quiet for a while.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Violet leaning her elbow against the door with her head in her palm. She wasn't saying anything. Hasn't even looked in my direction since she got in the car.
But I continued to drive, not saying a word.
After twenty minutes on a secluded road with no activity on it, I pulled over to the shoulder and parked the car. All you could hear were the crickets chirping. The moon was a bright overcast, nothing but grass surrounded the road, and we were completely and utterly alone.
Violet shifted in her seat. "What are we doing out here?"
"It's quiet." I replied and looked at her.
"I almost thought you brought me out here to leave me."
I had to laugh a little. "There's cows out that way," I pointed, "At least you wouldn't starve."
She smiled a little, but it faltered quickly. "What did you want to talk about?"
"What do you think, Vi?" I dropped my hands in my lap, "You haven't talked to me, you barely look at me, and...I don't know..."
Violet started shaking her head. "It shouldn't have happened." Her voice was soft, but I could hear a slight strain.
"Why?"
"Don't ask me that." She said, her tone stronger.
"I need answers."
She shook her head again. "I can't give you the answers you want, James."
My heart stuttered. "Did you feel what I felt?"
"Don't..." She breathed while she absentmindedly picked at her fingers, "Whatever happened on that hill, you need to forget about it. Nothing good can come out of this."
"You don't know that." I said, my voice stronger than before.
"But I do know that." She continued looking down at her hands, "There are a lot of things I can handle, James..." She finally looked up from her hands and caught my gaze, "You're not one of them."
Maybe she could've ripped my heart out and drove over it a few times. It would've definitely hurt less. "Are you going to quit?"
"Maybe...I don't know." She sighed with defeat, "I need this internship."
"Okay."
Silence fell in the car again.
Until she spoke. "Take me home." She choked out.
And I obeyed again and took her home.
* * *
My mom was talking.
I could tell by the parting of her lips.
But I didn't hear anything.
Jared elbowed me in the side and I jolted. "What?"
He glared at me and pointed to the opposite end of the table where my mom sat, talking about something I lost interest in when I couldn't keep my eyes off Violet sitting next to her. She didn't look my way once. She kept her eyes trained on the notebook in front of her, writing down anything she felt was important.
Before I took Violet home after my dad's wedding, I had to talk to him. He basically wanted me to take his spot while he was gone. And of course my first question was how? I have school, how the hell can I run a company?
The answer was easy he had said. I'd continue working Monday's and Thursday's, and those days would be Jared's days off.
So now I don't only help my mom, I'm on the fifteenth floor in his office. The work was exhausting. It was not something I looked forward to doing for the rest of my life. I'm not going to business school for nothing.
My mom dismissed the meeting and everyone cleared the room.
I was the last one to leave the room and I headed straight for the elevator. Just as it was closing, I slipped my hand through so it would open up again. Violet's surprised look sent an electric jolt through my chest.
Instead of reacting to it, I ignored it and pressed the button for the top floor.
The ride felt like it was taking longer than usual.
"How are you?" Violet's small voice almost made me crack.
All I did was glance at her and back to the elevator doors. "I'm good. You?"
"Good."
"Good." I sighed and stuffed my hands in my pockets.
The elevator opened up on the top floor and I stepped out.
"James."
I halted and looked over my shoulder. "What?"
She opened her mouth and closed it again before speaking. "Nothing."
And with that, the doors closed and I didn't look back.
I'll admit my ego was a little wounded. Violet's rejection hurt more than I expected. What I felt that night couldn't be one-sided. It was buried under my skin, just digging deeper. It was driving me crazy. It was hard being close to her without wanting to reach for her and pull her close.
Why am I feeling like this?
The emotions that are clouding my mind aren't new, but they're still confusing. It was an ache in my chest. It felt like my heart was literally trying to tell me something.
Go after her, Idiot.
No. I can't. She made it clear that I was too much to handle.
But what did that mean?
She's scared to get close.
I already know that.
She can't have her heart broken.
I'd be stupid to ever think of that. I'd be stupid to treat her in any way that would hurt her.
Make her believe that.
It wouldn't matter.
You don't know that.
I cut off my inner babble and strode to my dads office. Then I proceeded to lock myself in before Cristin came looking for me. She's filing on the third floor again because there's no way I could handle her right now. It's been worse since my dad went on his honeymoon. He won't be back for another week, but it doesn't matter because now I'm stuck with her.
* * *
At two in the morning, I was still wide-awake.
I stretched across my couch and Chaos was right behind me. He jumped up and curled between my side and the couch. He rested his head on my shoulder and nudged my jaw with his nose.
He whined as I touched the space between his ears. "You can't sleep either." I mumbled and scratched behind his ear. He responded by licking my chin and it made me laugh.
When my phone buzzed on the coffee table, I was slightly perplexed. But I sat up and reached for it.
Violet's house number popped up on the screen.
Again, I was confused, but I answered it. "Hello?"
"I can't sleep." She breathed.
"I'm sorry." Chaos climbed onto my lap and curled up.
"I knew you'd be awake too." Her tone was soft and gentle.
"Unfortunately." I leaned back on the couch and folded and arm under my head. Chaos only found his spot back between the couch and me. "Is there something I can do?"
She was quiet for a moment. "Unless there's a way to turn off my mind, there's not much you can do."
My lips twitched a little.
"Actually," She started, "There is something you could do."
"What would that be?"
"Come pick me up."
I stilled. "What?"
"Pick me up before I start walking." She whispered, "I gotta go."
"Violet—"
But she had already hung up.
All I could do was just stare at my phone for a few seconds. Was she serious about picking her up? It would be pretty embarrassing to show up to have her tell me to leave.
But I fought against my basic instinct and stood off the couch. "I guess we're going for a drive." I muttered to Chaos.
He knows that word all to well.
Chaos jumped off the couch and trailed behind me. By the door, I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my keys. The second I opened the door, Chaos squeezed through and started trotting down the hallway. He came to a stop in front of the elevator and waited for me to press the button.
When we stepped off the elevator, I bent down and scooped Chaos into my arms. The women at the front desk looked at me weirdly, but shrugged it off when I waved. She gave me shit last week for not having Chaos on a leash. He's better behaved than some kids that run through the lobby.
Chaos climbed into the passenger seat and sat on his butt. He had his tongue sticking out as he panted, probably more excited about this trip than I am. I'm nervous about this because it can go either way.
The closer I got to her house, the more my heart felt like it had a beat that wasn't my own. It was beating to hard, I could hear it through my ears.
As I turned down the street of her neighborhood, I turned off my headlights and drove slowly. Her house was the third one on the street and I came to a stop just short of her driveway.
She must have been watching for me, because her front door opened and she appeared out of the dark. She walked down the driveway until she reached my car and opened the door. Chaos was happy to see her. "Chaos." She smiled and scratched his chin before sliding in and sitting him on her lap. "I missed you."
He licked her jaw and it was the first time I've heard her laugh in two weeks.
"Where to?" I asked and started to drive. I waited until we were past her house to turn the headlights back on.
"Um..." She trailed off, "Your apartment is fine."
"Does your mom know?"
"About?"
"That you left."
"Sort of."
I made it back onto the back road and started my small journey home. "What does that mean?"
I could see her shrug out of the corner of my eye. "I left a note on my pillow in case she wakes up. Lets just hope Gray doesn't find it." She murmured the last part.
"Wait—" My brows narrowed in confusion, "You told your mom you'll be with me?"
"Yep." She said bluntly, "But I told her we had work we needed to do."
"At two in the morning?"
Another shrug. "Not unless she finds it at two in the morning."
She did have a point.
The rest of the ride back to my apartment was quiet. Once I was parked, we filed out. Chaos was happy to be in Violet's arms instead of mine at the moment. It was nice to see her smile again too. It doesn't matter that it wasn't a smile for me. It was a smile.
Again, the lady at the front desk eyed us curiously, but all she did was shake her head and look down at the book in her hands. Her job sucked. I couldn't take the night shift anywhere.
That sounds like a bad horror movie.
The elevator ride was short and we walked down my hall to reach my apartment door. I unlocked it and let Chaos and Violet in first. The door closed behind me and I locked it.
My shoes came off next and I walked into the living room where Violet was sitting on the couch. Chaos was curled against her leg, already half asleep. I plopped down on the other side of the couch and loosed a sigh. "I wanted to apologize on Monday." Violet started, "Pretty sure it wouldn't have mattered. I was kind of harsh last weekend when we talked."
I raked a hand through my hair and leaned my head back over the couch. "If you didn't like me that way, you could've told me, Vi. We could've figured out how to get around it and be friends again—"
"No, that's not the problem." I lifted my head and looked at her, "My problem is...I can't believe I'm about to say this." She put her hands to her cheeks and closed her eyes.
My brows raised in slight amusement. Her nose wrinkled, showing a small crease between her brows. Then she relaxed her face.
Violet opened her eyes, meeting mine. Hers seemed darker than usual. The brown swallowed the green specks. "I...do...like you. That's my problem."
"How is that a problem exactly?" I asked seriously.
"Do I really need to list all the ways this would be wrong, James?"
I didn't know if it was a rhetorical question, but I nodded anyway. "Tell me, because I can't think of one."
"And that's your problem." She grumbled. "Anyway, first one being I work for you. Pretty sure that's not allowed. Second, your dad hates me—"
"My dad doesn't hate you—"
"Third, my brother hates you."
"Okay, I'll give you the first one. The second and third shouldn't matter—"
"But they do!" She exploded and Chaos jumped. "Sorry." She then whispered.
I fought a small laugh.
Violet could tell. Because she was fighting one of her own. But she cracked and started laughing as she dropped her face in her hands. "I'm such an idiot sometimes I swear."
When I laughed, I really didn't mean to.
But her shoulders relaxed and she brought her head out of her hands. "I'm so tired, I can't even think straight."
"Come here." With delicate fingers, I wrapped my hand around her wrist to pull her close.
She didn't reject my hand and came closer. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gathered her in my arms. She rested her head on my shoulder and her gentle breath brushed over the side of my neck.
Violet wrapped an arm around my upper torso and hugged herself to my side. "Will we figure this out?"
I peered down at her and she gazed up at me. "Yeah, we'll figure it out."
She was so close. Close enough to easily press my lips to hers. As much as I wanted to kiss her, I didn't. Instead I kissed her forehead and tightened my arm around her shoulders.
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I guess you could call this a filler. The next chapter I'm so excited for because someone makes an appearance! :)
I'd love to know your thoughts! :) and vote if you liked the chapter?
Song: Stay by Mayday Parade