I waited in anxiety for the group to return from their riot in the front. It wasn't unusual for my boyfriend, Edgar, to jump at the chance to be Curtis Everett's right hand man during riots, but it didn't worry me any less every time he went on one.
I knew what happened to people who went on these riots. Hundreds went, less than half returned all in one piece, if they returned at all.
Curtis was careful when it came to these riots. He and Edgar were always the first to return and my anxiety would subside. But on todays riot, more and more people were returning and none of them were my Edgar.
I seen the familiar figure of Curtis enter the tail, alone. I jumped up and raced to him.
"Curtis, where is he?" I asked. "Where's Edgar? I haven't seen him yet, please tell me he's with you. Please!"
Curtis looked down at me with a look of sorrow. I felt my eyes prickle with tears. I grabbed Curtis' jacket, pulling him to look down at me.
"Curtis, tell me he's okay!" I begged. "Curtis!"
"I'm sorry, Ellie. I tried. I really did," Curtis said.
I felt my legs give out from under me. I began falling to the ground, but Curtis quickly caught me. I let out a sob, drawing the attention of the other Tailers. Curtis held me close to him, rocking me soothingly. I held onto him tightly, allowing my tears to run freely.
§
*Two Months Later*
One of the Front men grabbed me, holding me against the wall as I kicked and screamed, my fellow Tail rioters were either being gunned down or trying to keep themselves alive. I couldn't see Curtis, who was lost in the crowd of rioters.
"Look at this one," one of the men said, eying me in a way that made me shiver. "Bit prettier than the others."
"You think Deputy-Minister Mason would mind if we took this one for our own?" another asked with a disgusting smile.
I struggled harder against them, but they just laughed in my face. Before I could do anything, the two men fell to the ground. Standing behind them with a hammer raised in his hand was Curtis. He looked angrier than I've ever seen him.
"Curtis," I breathed. I moved to take hold of his hammer and lower his hand. "Thanks. I thought I was gonna become a Front Man's play thing."
"I wouldn't let that happen," Curtis told me. "We're retreating. They have bigger and better weapons than before. We'll come back when we have more."
I nodded and quickly made my way through the train and back to the Tail.
Ever since Edgar was killed, I had taken his spot in the riots. It took less than a week for my grief to be replaced by anger. I wanted nothing more than to punish the assholes who ran this train, and who killed my Edgar.
Curtis looked out for me. I was one of few women who actually joined the riots, which meant I got a lot more attention than I wanted sometimes. Curtis protected me. I definitely wasn't complaining about that.
§
*That evening*
I was standing in one of the empty train cars, staring at the bland walls. It was one of the rare cars that wasn't being used for anything, except secret meetings the Tailers have every now and then to discuss things we don't want the people in the Front to hear.
I looked up when I heard the door sliding open. Curtis quickly closed it behind him so he didn't wake the sleeping Tailers with the light coming from the car.
"You wanted to see me?" he asked.
"I wanted to thank you," I said. "For today. And every other day that you have. You've really had my back since...since..."
"I know," Curtis said, saving me from saying the painful memory that still shook me to my core. "Before every riot, he told me if anything happened to him, he wanted me to look after you. I promised him I'd always be there."
"Well, you've been doing a good job at it. I think...Edgar would be proud."
It hurt a little less to say his name. I hadn't said it much in the months since he died. It hurt to even think of him. But I knew I had to get past it if I wanted to become stronger and, maybe even take over the front of the train with Curtis.
The two of us stood in silence, just looking at one another. Curtis looked more cleaned up tonight. He wasn't dirty or slightly bloody like he normally did. In fact, he kind of looked...attractive. Not even kind of. Very attractive.
I covered my mouth as I felt a yawn coming on. It had been a while since I got a good night sleep, but it wasn't really bothering me too much.
"Tired?" Curtis asked.
"Only a little," I replied. "Aren't you? You've been up day and night for nearly a week planning this riot."
"I'm fine," Curtis replied. "I can go days without sleep. I'm like a cat."
"Cats are nocturnal, genius," I teased. "They usually sleep DURING the day."
"Shut up," Curtis said, playfully pushing me. We both laughed as I playfully pushed him back. Our laughter awkwardly died down. I couldn't help but look into his beautiful blue eyes, which stared back into mine. Before I knew it, I had my arms wrapped around Curtis' neck and my lips pressed to his.
Curtis wrapped his arms around my back and pushed me up against the wall. His rough hands slid under my shirt, lightly brushing the clasp of my bra, as if asking for permission to unhook it.
It had been a while since I had been intimate with anyone. Long before Edgar had been killed. Once he got swept up in the riots, that part of our lives kind of fizzled. Curtis was the first person to make me feel this way.
Curtis pulled away, making me crave him more. He looked down at me and for a moment, I could swear he was going to change his mind. He was Edgar's best friend after all. It had only been two months since he died. I could understand if Curtis didn't want to do things with his late best friend's girlfriend so soon after his death.
However, Curtis surprised me by saying, "How long do you think we have till everyone is up?"
I smirked. "Long enough."