*Jiya Pov*
"Jiya! Sit beside me." Someone said.
"No! Sit beside me." Someone else said.
"Actually, I will sit here." I said, sitting beside Ajay, who is sitting at the end seat.
They all nodded and settled themselves while Lily sat beside me. I gave her a slight smile and leaned on Ajay.
"Why didn't you sit with them? I really thought you would." Ajay mumbled in my ear.
"Well, just because I am talking to them nicely doesn't mean I want to form the perfect bond with them. I am just being nice to them and want to stay as colleagues only." I mumbled back.
"But you used to generally make friends with everyone you meet." He said and held my hand.
"I know and it will take some more time." I mumbled, and he nodded but hasn't left my hand.
"All guys go and bring something for us." Someone commented from the batch.
When Ajay too left, Lily called for me. I turned frowning and asked, "What is it?"
"Look, don't be so close to him. He is not yours." She replied.
"What?" I asked her frowning.
"I saw how you are falling on him. Just don't do that." She replied and turned away to talk with someone else.
I frowned and just stared at the ads on the screen. They all returned and passed the snacks for us.
"You like ice cream right?" he asked and gave one to me.
"Thanks!" I replied, but still continued to frown.
"Ms.Lily! Here is your soft drink." He said smiling at Lily.
"Thank you, Sir." She said, and he nodded.
After the lights were switched off, he tugged me. I turned to see him pulling me towards him.
"What happened?" He asked.
"Nothing!" I replied, but he didn't leave my hand.
"Just thinking about the movie." I added.
"Ok! By the way, they all love you." He mumbled smiling.
"It will take time, Ajay." I mumbled back.
"With me?" he asked, holding my hand tightly.
"I don't know! But I feel normal. What else can you do, right?" I asked him, frowning and he immediately started leaving my hand.
"No, no! I am not saying it like that. What am I saying is, I don't think you will do any worse to me. You really regret it so that's all." I said, but he just nodded and continued to watch the movie.
"I know I said something wrong back there, but I didn't mean to." I mumbled when we walked inside the house.
"No! I just... I just wish I didn't do anything at all." He mumbled and walked inside.
"Ajay!" I said, stopping him and sighed, looking at his fallen face.
"Look, I am not saying that you are perfect because you are not, and even I am not perfect. How dare I attempt to take my life away or even self harm myself? I am feeling sick thinking about it, but I can't undo it and now I am going to respect my life. And it was possible because of you. So stop giving yourself a little credit. You made mistakes, but you even removed some scars on me." I said and he just stared at me.
"If not I, then someone else would have made you stop." He said frowning.
"No! Because I would have never allowed someone to even come near me and the only person I did is Raj, but I would have never shared this with him." I said sitting on the bed.
"Your Dad would have told him like he did to me." He said, and I hit his hand.
"You have stupid thoughts about everything." I said glaring at him.
"Well, you suddenly became the positive thoughts giving a person, so I am having a little problem here to think everything clearly." He said frowning.
"You created this so deal with this, and I forgive you." I said holding his hand tightly.
"But you can't forget." He pointed out, and I stood up hitting his head walking away.
"Ouch! What was that for?" He asked following me.
"Well, because you are such a depressed guy. Yes, I can't forget, but I am trying to ignore it. Maybe after sometime I may even forget." I replied, shrugging and started washing my hands in the washroom.
"Really?" he asked, smiling and hugged me from behind.
"Yes! Now go outside." I replied, pulling myself from his arms.
"Yes, Madam." He said, bowing and walked outside the washroom.
I was falling for him? What is she saying? I was only talking to him. I am not falling for him. I was just sitting in my seat.
I shook my head and walked outside to see him heating the food for us. I sat down and looked at the calander.
There are yet three months and nearly three weeks. I glanced at him and saw him engrossed on the stove.
"What are your plans for next weekend?" I asked him frowning.
"Well, let this week pass, then we will see." He replied shrugging.
We both had our dinner and drifted off into sleep, and he didn't forget his everyday speech at all after he thought I drifted off into sleep.
"Let's go for some picnic." He suddenly suggested after a few days before the weekend.
"Sure!" I said and continued to work.
"What?" He asked me shocked.
"Did you think I will not accept?" I asked him back.
"Yeah!" he replied, scratching his neck.
"So is there a picnic or not?" I asked him smiling myself.
"There is! We will go tomorrow." He replied walking inside his cabin.
The next day we went to a small park and spent some time there just calmly most of the time and then talked about the office and then about families.
"How are you guys?" I asked calling Dad at night.
"We are fine and the company is also doing fine." He replied.
"Is Mom happy?" I asked him looking at my nails.
"No! She is always thinking about you." He replied.
"Really? I never thought that would be possible." I mumbled completely surprised.
"People change Jiya." He said sighing.
"Yes! They change." I said, staring at Ajay, who is working on his laptop.
Dad hung up after some time, and I continued to stare at Ajay. I cleared my throat just once, and he immediately glanced up.
"Do you need anything?" he asked frowning.
"Why do you love me?" I asked him back, and he got taken aback.
"Well, because I love you." He replied shrugging.
"No! Just give one reason." I said in a serious tone.
"Let's not talk about this." He said, shaking his head.
"Why?" I asked him frowning.
"Do you like me?" he asked, looking at me.
"No! Not in that way." I replied, and he smiled.
"That's why. I don't want to say something, which may change your thoughts. For now, I want you to have complete free thoughts without any of us in your mind. First, you need to be the old Jiya and then think about your life." He said smiling.
"Are you giving me a choice?" I asked him frowning.
"Yes!" He replied honestly.
"Why are you giving me a choice?" I asked him frowning more.
"Everyone deserves to have a choice to have the life they want and to live with the person they want. You deserve it more than anyone." He replied shrugging.
"Then what about our marriage?" I asked him sitting up.
"Jiya! At the end of your job contract, I will give you a wish, and you can ask anything from me, and I will give without blinking." He replied.
"Really?" I asked him little shocked.
"Really!" He replied but didn't smile.
"Will you not fight for me or something?" I asked him my doubt.
"I want to. Trust me, I want to fight until the end, but I don't think you will be happy with me." He replied.
"Why such presumption?" I asked him playing with my fingers.
"It's not a presumption. I don't think we both will ever forget the past. I will live in regret forever, and that is not good for you." He replied.
"What if that feeling of regret stops?" I asked him.
"What is with all these questions?" He asked me back not having the answer for it.
"Well, you are really talking in circles here Ajay. You are saying you will not fight for me because you feel regret, then what are you doing here now in this room and on my bed." I shouted at him.
"Jiya..." he started to say shocked and is putting his laptop away.
"No! Just let me do the talking. Do you want to be the big sacrificing guy in the end by doing all this? Always saying I will meet a nice guy, and I will have a happy ending, then why are you still here. I am now completely ok right then why don't you leave me alone." I shouted glaring at him.
He suddenly pushed me on the bed with him hovering on me making my eyes go wide. I began to take deep breaths to control my anger while he too did the same.
"Is your shouting finished? Now, tell me Jiya will you let anyone come near you and go with a date with them?" he asked staring at me, and I shook my head.
"Will you go on a date with me? Like if I court on you, will you go?" he asked and again I shook my head in the negative.
"See you didn't change, Jiya. You still feel scared that anyone will hurt you again. You said I will not hurt you, and that is not because you trust me. That is because you think, the pain will not be that much which you already felt because of me. You don't trust me Jiya and that is killing me, but I can't say that out loud because I am the one who caused it." He said fuming.
"Ajay!" I said surprised because I never thought like that, but it is true.
"You feel that someone will come and again act like I did and then destroy you. Just tell me one thing did you go on a date with Raj until now?" he asked.
"You didn't give me a chance." I replied whispering.
"I will make the call tomorrow. Then will you go?" he asked.
"No!" I replied.
"See, that's why I am staying here. The major pain is caused by me, and if I show you that I will not do it again at all, then maybe you will start opening to others feeling everyone is not that bad." He said, and I frowned but nodded because the theory is not at all looked reasonable.
"I know it is not logical, but that's what I think, and it is in success mode. Do you know what I want?" he asked and I shook my head in negative.
"I want to kiss you right now like there is no tomorrow, and I want to devour you. But I know I can't because this is not beating for me." He said placing his hand on my heartbeat.
"Well, it is beating fast now because I scared you." He added feeling my raised heart beats, and I nodded.
"So, I am giving you the choice. And by the way, I am fighting for you not telling it in words because I don't want to confuse you." He said, and I frowned in confusion.
"Look, you know me completely. You know when I am acting and when I am not, but the new persons are not like that. So you may select me thinking I am safe pick, and I don't want that. I want to be with you only when you want me with your heart." He explained.
"Right!" I said nodding because I may pick him with that thought too like he said, and that is wrong like he said.
"So, I am not showing my fight because all I want is the Jiya, who thinks with the heart." He said.
"But that is not a good thing, Ajay." I said sighing.
"I know! But I also know that your mind will always lead you no matter what because you have seen really bad Jiya. So start thinking about heart soon and then decide anything." He said, and I nodded like a good girl.
"Good!" he mumbled and made his head fall below my chin.
"I am sorry if I frightened you." He mumbled slowly.
"It's ok!" I mumbled, running my fingers through his hair.
"I really love you Jiya, and I am sorry." He mumbled and drifted off into sleep while I continued to run my fingers through his hair.
"I don't know what to even do with you Ajay. So for now I will start thinking with my heart, and maybe it will start giving me answers and also maybe makes me meet that someone special like you said." I said and drifted off into sleep.
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haha i dont know what i actually wrote in this chap well because i dont know :P
There are many questions and there are many answers... they look logical and they also look stupid but well sometimes stupid things turn out to be true..
ok again i dotn know what i am saying so i will stop now..
How is the chap guys??
Comment plz and vote.........