Jen
I should have expected it. I mean, I've been in a coma. That should've been my clue that things were not going well.
But I didn't think about it. My first thought when I woke up was 'is my child ok'. Maybe it should've been 'why is my brother leaving' or 'why is my boyfriend crying' or 'how bad are my injuries' but no. I needed to know.
I try not to display any emotion hearing that I had a miscarriage, but it would have been easier to patch the Hoover Dam with scotch tape.
"Baby," I can see how much it's killing Patrick to tell me this. "I am so sorry. I can tell you for a fact they tried everything they could but there was nothing they could do."
"Why should I believe you?" I whisper. "You didn't even want this baby in the first place. What do you care if they didn't save it? You probably celebrated."
I throw the words at him like weapons and I can see they hit their mark dead on. A tiny part of me feels guilty. I'm sure he would never will pain like this on me. A very small part of me knows that. The rest of me is too busy feeling like someone ripped out my heart to care.
"Jen," I look up at Kailey's shocked expression. "Jen Patrick hasn't left you for a second. He screams at the nurses when they try to make him leave. He—"
"Didn't want to have a kid anyway," I finish for her. "It's the reason I left remember?"
She blinks at me, at a loss for words. Then she and Jonathan walk out, with muttered promises to come back later when I'm feeling more up to it.
As soon as they're gone I look anywhere but at Patrick. I hate what I said but I needed to lash out. And it's true he didn't want our baby. He said so to me.
He also didn't leave my side during the entire time I've been in here. He talked to me while I was in a coma. He came after me when I ran out. He has been a wonderful boyfriend in every single way except for those few stupid words.
I fucked up.
"I'm sorry." I peek up at Patrick to see his reaction.
He isn't looking at me, but down at his hands instead. "You . . . have every right to be upset with me. I did say those things, and, at the time, I meant them," he looks up at me and I feel my chest tighten at the tears he's not even trying to hide. "But know that I came after you. I came after you as soon as I realized what an idiot I was being. I was scared, I was worried, and I was not about to let you go.
"I'm just sorry I didn't get there sooner baby," his breathe hitches on the word. "I'm sorry I couldn't get there and help. I'm sorry—"
"You know," I interrupt. "I'm so tired of that stupid word. We're both sorry. And I'm too drugged and tired and this is all too new for me to process everything right now. So let's just agree that we are both sorry and this is done, ok?"
I wait, and finally he nods, even though we both know it's not really true. We're agreeing only to put it off. It's not done, not by a long shot, but I don't have the energy for this right now.
"I'll get your doctor," Patrick mutters, getting up.
"Wait," I say, grabbing his arm. I can feel myself slipping into unconsciousness again. This time though I can tell I'll be waking up again. It doesn't feel as dangerous.
I'm not sure if he waits, but I ask him anyway, "Please stay?"
I hope he does. I fall back into unconsciousness before I can check.
A/N: so Jen hates the word sorry, but I don't and I need to apologize for a lot of things. First off, I'm sorry for so long between updates. I should have updated a long time ago, but didn't. I have been sort of busy but still, it's not an excuse. So I'm sorry for that. Next, I'm sorry that this story is coming to a close soon, as I know you all really seem to love it. I'm also sorry that this part is so short, and pretty poorly written. I don't know why it wasn't working, but this part was extremely difficult to write. So yeah sorry it sucks. Thank you all so much for 40k reads! I can't believe it it makes me soooooo happy to see this you have no idea. Every read, every vote, every comment, I love them all. Thank you so so so much for reading! I hope you all like this part (even though it's not the best). You're the greatest readers in the world :)