I had hated mornings my entire life. 20 years of dragging myself out of bed, stumbling through the early hours with bleary eyes and a foggy mind.
19 years of my mother yelling at me to wake up, the shrill sound of her voice piercing through the veil of sleep, jolting me into consciousness with a start.
Then, I moved in with Leah.
Mornings with Leah had two distinctive characteristics: they were either absolutely chaotic, with hairdryers blasting, clothes strewn everywhere, and both of us rushing to get ready in time, or they were incredibly peaceful, with soft sunlight filtering through the curtains, gentle kisses exchanged as we lingered in bed, reluctant to face the day.
Today was the third kind. The one that barely ever happened, somehow.
I was up before Leah. It was 7 am. I was in the kitchen, making coffee silently. We had training at 10.
The quietness of the morning enveloped me, a rare moment of solitude before the day's hustle and bustle began.
Leah emerged from the bedroom, her hair tousled from sleep, a sleepy smile gracing her lips as she padded over to me. "Morning," she murmured, her voice still thick with sleep. As always, she looked absolutely gorgeous. It was surprising how surprised I always was at the fact.
"Morning, love," I replied, pouring her a cup of coffee and handing it to her. The warmth of her fingers brushing against mine sent a shiver down my spine. "H-happy birthday..." I breathed, my breath itching, for some reason, as Leah planted her indescribably intense blue gaze on mine.
Leah's lips curled into a thin smirk. She stepped closer to me, her eyes never leaving mine. I heard her cup of coffee clink softly against the countertop as she reached out to cup my cheek, her touch gentle yet electrifying. "Thank you, babygirl," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath, sending shivers down my spine.
Her hand slowly moved down, her thumb gently retracing the curve of my jawline, sending a wave of tingling sensation through my body. My heart raced in anticipation as she leaned in closer.
I closed my eyes, expecting her lips to meet mine. They didn't.
Instead of feeling the soft press of Leah's lips against mine, I felt her warm breath ghosting over my skin, her proximity sending a rush of anticipation coursing through me. My heart thundered in my chest, every nerve in my body tingling with anticipation as I waited for her next move.
Leah's voice, barely a whisper, brushed against my ear, sending shivers down my spine. "You know what I want for my birthday, don't you?" she murmured, her words dripping with seduction.
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry as I struggled to form a coherent response. "W-what do you want?" I managed to stammer out, my voice barely above a whisper.
Leah's lips curved into a wicked smile, her fingers trailing down my neck, sending a shiver of pleasure coursing through me. "I want you," she breathed, her voice low and husky, sending a surge of desire coursing through me. "Right here, right now."
Before I could respond, Leah planted her lips on my neck, her right hand gripping the hair at the back of my head, while her left one grabbed my thigh, expertly lifting me and sitting me down on the kitchen counter. I had no idea how she had done that with only one hand.
And I didn't care.
Because in that moment, all I could think about was the overwhelming desire coursing through my veins, the heat of Leah's body pressed against mine, and the intoxicating scent of her skin filling my senses.
"Oh god..." I gasped, my fingers tangling in Leah's hair as she kissed a trail down my neck, igniting a fire within me that burned with an intensity I had never known. "L-Leah..."
"Mhm?" My girlfriend hummed against my skin, her lips trailing kisses along my collarbone as her left hand lifted my shirt slightly, her fingers exploring the bare skin hidden under it.
"I-I... Charlotte..." I tried to formulate a coherent thought, but my mind was clouded with desire, my body trembling with anticipation.
Leah pulled back slightly, her gaze locking with mine as she searched my eyes for any sign of hesitation. "Do you want this?" she whispered, her voice filled with concern and longing.
"Yes." I immediately answered. "But we can't..." I whispered, and it pained me to say it. Pained me so badly.
Leah's expression softened, her fingers gently tracing the outline of my jaw as she studied my face. She sighed softly, offering me a small smile
"I hate it when you're right, Maria Valentina." Leah let out a soft chuckle, her eyes sparkling with mischief as she leaned in closer, pressing a tender kiss to my lips. "You're lucky I love you," she murmured against my skin, her breath warm against my cheek.
She stepped back, a smile still on her lips, and grabbed her coffee cup again, sipping it silently while walking to the fridge. "Want anything to eat?" She asked nonchalantly as if I had imagined everything that had just transpired between us. My mind raced, still reeling from the intensity of the moment, yet Leah seemed to effortlessly transition back into the mundane routines of our morning.
I cleared my throat, trying to steady my racing heart as I shook my head, my voice barely above a whisper. "N-no, I'm okay, thank you," I replied, my words feeling foreign on my tongue as I struggled to process everything that had just happened.
Leah turned back to me, a small frown on her face. "I know you... didn't eat much, when you were at Katie's. She told me. You need food." She announced, or more like ordered, turning back to the fridge and pulling out some fruits and yogurt.
I sighed softly at the sight. "Leah, I'm okay. I'm not really hun-"
"Sit your ass down and eat," Leah interrupted, her tone firm as she placed the bowl of fruit and yogurt in front of me. "You need to take care of yourself, Maria."
My eyes widened at the name she had given me. She would often call me Maria Valentina. She had never called me Maria before. Somehow, it felt different, more intimate, like she was calling out to a part of me that only she could see.
I obeyed without protest, taking a spoonful of yogurt and forcing myself to eat. As I did, Leah moved around the kitchen, her movements fluid and graceful as she prepared breakfast for herself, occasionally stealing glances in my direction.
She looked beautiful in everything she did. Plugging in the toaster. Putting her bread on a plate. Waiting impatiently for the toaster to get hot. Looking down at her phone. Looking up at the toaster. Groaning in frustration when it took too long. Grabbing the bread packet and pretending to read the ingredients. Putting the packet back down. Looking at the toaster with determination. Touching it to see if it was hot enough. Slightly burning her finger like a dumbass. Cursing at the appliance and flicking it off, before shoving her bread into it. Putting the tip of her finger in her mouth to tame the surely oh-so-unbearable pain of burning herself. God. She looked good.
Distraction. Distraction. Distraction.
"So, what you wanna do today?" I mumbled between bites of yogurt, trying to steer the conversation away.
Leah paused, her brow furrowing slightly as she considered my question. "Hmm, well, it's my birthday, so I get to choose, right?" she replied, a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she glanced over at me.
I couldn't help but chuckle at her playful expression. "Of course," I replied, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "So, what's it gonna be, birthday girl?"
Leah's smile widened as she leaned against the counter, her gaze meeting mine with a glint of excitement. "First breakfast. Then we walk dray together. Then, training. Lunch with the girls at Colney. Then..." Leah hinted.
"Then?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Maybe we could... go to the tattoo shop together?" She suggested, her voice trailing off slightly as she watched my reaction.
I raised an eyebrow at the suggestion. "You mean for you, right?"
"Well, yeah, I was thinking about getting another tattoo for my birthday," she admitted, her smile widening as she reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from my face. "But if you want to get one too, I wouldn't say no to some company."
I thought about it for a second. I only had my COYG tattoo, and had assured at the time it would be the only one I'd ever get. "I don't know, baby, I-" I started, then shamefully mumbled; "told my mom I wouldn't get another one."
Leah's reaction was immediate. As soon as she heard me mention my mother. Her jaw clenched, her eyes darkened, and she hid her hands under the table, surely to get them into fists without me noticing it.
Leah's sudden change in demeanor didn't go unnoticed, and I felt a pang of guilt twist in my chest at the thought of upsetting her. I reached out, from under the table, getting ahold of her hands and gently stroking her tense skin.
"Leah, I'm sorry," I murmured, my voice filled with remorse as I met her gaze. "I didn't mean to upset you."
Leah's eyes instantly shot up. "Don't you dare apologize for your mother's bullshit, Maria Valentina," she snapped, her voice sharp with anger as she pulled her hands away from mine, her expression dark and stormy. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
I flinched at the intensity of her response, my heart sinking at the thought of causing Leah any distress. "I-I know, but..." I trailed off, my voice barely a whisper as I struggled to find the right words to express myself.
Leah's expression softened slightly, her anger giving way to a mixture of frustration and sadness. "I'm sorry," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she reached out to cup my cheek, her touch gentle yet filled with remorse. "I just... I hate seeing you hurt because of her."
I leaned into her touch, seeking solace in the warmth of her hand against my skin. "I know," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion as I met her gaze.
"What she thinks shouldn't matter anymore. And I know it's hard to just... let go of it completely. But it kills me to see you still holding onto the pain she caused you." Leah's voice wavered slightly, her eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and determination. "You deserve so much better, baby. You deserve to be free from her toxic influence, to live your life on your own terms."
Tears welled up in my eyes at Leah's words, her unwavering support and love washing over me like a comforting embrace. "Thank you," I whispered, my voice barely above a breath as I reached out to intertwine my fingers with hers.
"Come on, let's just... finish breakfast, then go walk Dray together yeah? Clear our heads up." Leah suggested, her voice soft and soothing as she gently squeezed my hand.
I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips as I wiped away the tears that had gathered in my eyes. "Yeah," I replied, my voice barely a whisper. "That sounds perfect."
As we finished our breakfast in comfortable silence, the tension that had lingered between us slowly dissipated.
Once we had cleared the table and washed the dishes together, we walked back upstairs to get changed, deciding for the sake of our mental health not to change in the same room.
I put on baby blue mom jeans and a USA 2020 away shirt, stealing a pair of Leah's red Dunks.
Leah emerged from the bathroom in her dark blue Nike hoodie and light gray joggers. She flashed me a smile and slipped on a pair of blue sneakers. She looked effortlessly beautiful.
"Oh fuck off. Why you look so good?" I grumbled, rolling my eyes.
Leah smirked, looking down at her own outfit, before shrugging nonchalantly. "Genetics." She announced, and I scoffed, crossing my arms and waiting for her to finish getting ready.
When she did, we set off for our morning walk with Dray.
It wasn't very cold outside, more like fresh.
The crisp morning air was invigorating as we strolled along the familiar path, Dray bounding happily ahead of us, his tail wagging in excitement. The sun was beginning to peek over the horizon, casting a warm glow over the landscape and painting the sky in hues of pink and gold. I took Leah's hand in mine, and laid my head on her shoulder, silently watching the sunrise while walking alongside her.
The golden rays of the morning sun bathed everything in a soft, ethereal light, casting long shadows across the path as we made our way through the park. The world seemed to awaken with us, the birds singing their morning songs and the trees swaying gently in the breeze.
As we walked, I started spotting two familiar silhouettes, a few feet away from us. I instantly smiled. Drayton stopped walking almost immediately, turning to us, and then looking back at the couple and their dog.
"Yeah, it's them. Go on boy, go see them." Leah told Drayton, patting his head affectionately as she released his leash. With an excited bark, Dray bounded off toward the other dog, his tail wagging furiously as he greeted his canine friend.
I watched fondly as Dray joined Myle, and soon enough, Beth spotted us, immediately running towards us to jump in Leah's arms. "Happy birthday, Williamson!" Beth exclaimed, her voice filled with genuine excitement as she wrapped her arms around Leah in a tight hug.
Leah chuckled, returning the hug with equal enthusiasm. "Thanks, Beth!" she replied, her voice warm and affectionate as she ruffled the blonde woman's hair. "Did you actually remember or did Viv remind you?"
Beth laughed, pulling back slightly to meet Leah's gaze with a playful smirk. "Hey, I can remember important dates too, you know," she teased, nudging Leah playfully in the side. "But yeah, Viv did remind me, just in case."
Leah rolled her eyes, but there was a fondness in her expression as she glanced over at me. "Figures," she muttered, shooting me a knowing look before turning her attention back to Beth.
I offered my girlfriend a small smile, before walking towards Viv, leaving the two English girls to talk.
As I approached Viv, she flashed me a small smile, before focusing back on Myle and Drayton, playing a few feet away from us.
In my experience, only two things could crackle Vivianne's stoic and serious demeanor; Bethany Mead, and dogs.
"Hey." I simply said, standing next to her, my hands buried in my pocket, observing as Drayton ran around, a big stick in his mouth.
"Hey." She simply replied, her eyes crossing mine for only a second.
That was most likely to be our only conversation until training. We were both okay with that. That's what I thought, at least. But surprisingly, Vivianne launched the conversation again.
"Can I ask you something?" She asked, her voice hesitant as she glanced over at me.
I nodded, my curiosity piqued by her sudden interest in conversation. "Of course."
Vivianne hesitated for a moment, her brow furrowing slightly as she searched for the right words. "Hum, you ever wanted kids?"
I paused for a moment, taken aback by Vivianne's unexpected question. It was not a topic we had ever broached before, and her inquiry caught me off guard.
"Uh... yeah, I guess I have," I replied, my voice tinged with uncertainty as I considered my response. "I mean, I've always thought about it in a sort of abstract way, you know? Like, someday, maybe, if the timing is right and all that. Definitely not right now and not for a long time. But yeah, maybe someday."
Vivianne nodded, her expression thoughtful as she listened to my answer. I expected her to go further. Ask me something else, or maybe tell me something. She didn't. She looked at her feet for a few seconds, pursing her lips, before looking back at the dogs.
"Can I ask you something?" I prompted, my curiosity getting the best of me as I turned to face Vivianne once more.
She glanced at me, her expression unreadable for a moment before she nodded slowly. "Sure."
"Why asking me?" I questioned. She frowned at my words, looking back at me.
"We're friends. No?"
I couldn't help but feel a pang of surprise at Vivianne's response. While we had always maintained a respectful and amicable relationship, I wouldn't exactly have categorized us as close friends.
"Yeah, we are," I replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips as I met Vivianne's gaze.
Viv nodded in confirmation, then looked away again.
"Sorry if it was a weird question," she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper as she focused her attention back on the dogs playing in front of us.
I shook my head, a small smile playing at my lips as I reached out to gently nudge Vivianne's shoulder. "No, it's okay," I reassured her, my voice soft. "Here if you need me."
Vivianne's shoulders relaxed slightly at my words, a small, grateful smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Thanks," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper as she met my gaze. "I appreciate it."
This time, it was the last words we talked to each other until we would be at training.
"Vale!" I heard Leah call for me, certainly so we could get back home before training.
I looked back at Viv, who simply nodded and smiled, raising her first for me to bump, what I immediately did, before walking back to my girlfriend and Beth, calling Dray over.