A/N: We're getting close to the end....ahh it makes me want to cry bc this is my baby haha.
August 1948
All things considered and nickname of Mini-Menace aside, Daisy Cleven was a perfectly well-behaved baby. She rarely cried, except for when she was hungry or when she wanted to be held. It was immediately clear to Kathryn Cleven that Daisy was a daddy's girl—Daisy was perfectly calm and content whenever she was in Gale's arms. And she loved it even more when her father sang to her.
For Kathryn, she didn't remember her father all that much. He wasn't fond of her and he had passed when she was barely 10 years old—her memories with him were few and far between. But watching Gale tenderly get up every time that Daisy cried in the night or needed a single thing, Kathryn wondered if it was possible to fall deeper in love with Gale Cleven more than she already was.
It wasn't that Daisy wasn't good for Kathryn. No, there was something else. You see, Kathryn was altogether very pleased to be a mother and had waited what felt like her entire life to become one. It had been a difficult journey to even becoming a mother and she was grateful that she had Daisy.
But maybe in the depths of shoving Doctor Egan down, Kathryn recognized that there was something wrong with her. Something inherently wrong. Wrong in the fact that she just felt empty and hollowed out inside—and she was missing the constant presence of being pregnant and that wasn't right .
She had heard of the baby blues, of course. It wasn't something she was altogether acquainted with, but it wasn't uneheard of for some women to just be off after childbirth. Kathryn was a doctor—she knew that for hundreds of years, men had been attributing far too many things to pregnancy and the uterus.
But she wondered if there was some truth to pregnancy being a factor in causing some sort of break from reality—or if something had caused a change. She was bound and determined to medically get to the bottom of the cause because the fact of the matter is that she knew she should have been happier than she was.
See, Kathryn had a hypothesis—and it had everything to do with hormones and the changes that women underwent in the stages of pregnancy. It was altogether possible that the hormones could cause negative changes as well as positive changes. And so any baby blues or odd moods could be attributed to hormones, not just a lack of joy.
Because there were shining moments in the enveloping darkness where Kathryn Cleven felt absolutely thrilled—she'd be sitting there and rocking Daisy to sleep or nursing her and she felt bursts of joy. Like there were little rays of sun falling and bathing them in it.
But then there were other times, far more often, where Kathryn just wanted to cry and she had no damn idea why. It was frustrating. She had nothing to be sad about, nothing to be angry about—she had a beautiful home, a wonderful husband and a healthy daughter, the best dog in the entire world—
So one day, in the middle of their routine (which they had down quite well at this point), Gale was surprised to see Kathryn's medical books making an appearance at the dining room table. See, their routine was simple:
If Daisy cried in the middle of the night at all, Gale was the first one up and bringing her into Kathryn if she was hungry. If not, he'd gently get her back to sleep so that Kathryn could get the rest that she so desperately needed.
Then he'd help Kathryn with breakfast before leaving and heading out for work. Josie would pop in to check in on things at the house, and then Gale would think about his wife and daughter the entire time he was at work. Following work, Gale would take care to get daisies each week—dutiful to brightening the house with his daughter's namesake.
Then he'd come home from work and greet Kathryn with a kiss. If Daisy was asleep—which was altogether likely given her sporadic nap schedule—then he'd help with anything Kathryn needed done, they'd eat dinner together, usually with Kathryn on his lap yet again. He'd help her clean up and they'd spend time with Daisy and chatting about their days.
And then he'd get to be the one to sing Daisy to sleep, soft lullabies strumming from his low tones and register. And once she was asleep, he'd either cuddle with Kathryn or get up to other activities that were responsible for Daisy in the first place.
It was a good routine—
So to find Daisy sleeping in a bassinet and Kathryn pouring over medical textbooks was curious. "Honey?"
"Hmm?" Kathryn glanced up, eyes brightening at the sight of him in the doorway.
"Is everything okay with Daisy?" He crossed over to her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
Kathryn leaned into his touch, a slight relaxation coming into her shoulders. "Oh Daisy's fine."
"Did you get asked to speak at a symposium?"
"No."
Gale placed his hands on his hips as he glanced over the medical books. "Then what are you up to, Mrs. Cleven?"
"I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong with me."
Almost immediately, Gale was kneeling at her side and taking her face gently in his hands—as if she were made of glass. "Darlin', there's nothing wrong with you—"
"Oh don't patronize me," Kathryn let out a huff, gesturing emphatically at the boook. "I'm a doctor—I may be rusty—but I know when something is wrong."
"Do you mean physically?"
"No. If this was physical, then I'd go to the hospital, believe it or not."
Gale's wondering gaze searched hers for answers like a man wandering through a forest without an end in sight. "How do you mean, honey?"
Kathryn couldn't help the fact that her lip was trembling slightly. She glanced between her sleeping daughter and her husband and she just gave a frown. She leaned forward, ever so slightly—pressing her forehead against Gale's tiredly.
"I mean up here, baby," Kathryn murmured, guiding his hand gently to her head.
All at once, Gale seemed to understand. He understood what it was to have demons that he was constantly fighting off—and sometimes the darkness just seemed overwhelming. Kathryn had her demons—they had talked about them in depth after she had lost their first baby.
When she had admitted that she thought about death a fair bit, Gale had been worried—and then furious at the doctors who didn't take her seriously. They had swallowed down their frustrations with the medical field and its current sexism. And they had worked through a lot of her feelings. But he understood that it wasn't something she could just drown and be done with.
"Talk to me," Gale murmured, hands trailing over her face—she was precious to him, more precious than any gold or starlight could possibly be.
Kathryn sucked in a breath. "I'm just not...happy. And I should be. I've been trying to figure out—if pregnancy hormones could have negative effects on me. On other women. I think there's a connection."
Truth be told, her medical jargon went over his head—and there wasn't all that much jargon in her sentence. But he understood that she wasn't just sitting in the darkness, in the sadness, in the feelings. She was searching for the reason why—and she was attempting to pull herself out of it. She was strength and spirit in human form and this was just one of the many reasons why he loved her.
He hugged his arms around her waist, giving a nod. "I believe you."
Kathryn could have honestly burst on the spot. The concept that men listened to their wives and didn't attribute something to womanly hysteria was still something that people were unlearning—were trying to be better than. But Gale Cleven had never attributed a single damn feeling of hers to womanly hysteria.
Everything that she felt was valid in his eyes. In his eyes, she felt completely confident in every single sphere and it was a wonderful feeling to have—especially in a man's world.
" God , I love you," Kathryn murmured against his cheek. "You don't think I'm crazy?"
"Crazy? No," Gale said, grabbing her hands and tugging her to his feet. "Determined and going to show the world your findings? Yes."
Standing there in their dining room, Gale Cleven just held Kathryn Cleven in his arms with all of the tenderness of a man who knew true happiness. And when they began to sway together, no music or rhythm in sight—Kathryn just felt like a giddy young girl again. In Gale Cleven's arm, she knew she would always feel like that giddy girl who had fallen in love for the first time.
She wrapped his arms around his neck, swaying with him in a rhythm all their own—to the beat of their own hearts. "You're a damn good man, Gale Cleven," Kathryn murmured softly.
"Well they don't make women like you, Kathryn Cleven," Gale twirled her and a light giggle spilled from her lips. Almost immediately, they were both trying to shush the other—all in a desperate attempt to keep Daisy asleep in the bassinet near them.
Whether it be girlish nerves or a desire to be close to her husband, Kathryn pulled on his collar—and their lips were being smashed together in a breathless kiss. But this wasn't rushed, this wasn't hurried, this wasn't lust or trying to be quick. This was them taking their sweet damn time with one another.
This was memorizing one another all over again—trying to regain sense of self and sense of oneness that they had. This was the summer breeze gently spurring them on in the gentlest and softest of ways. Kathryn relaxed her fingers into her husband's scalp, and he tugged on her hips, bringing them as close as they possibly could be.
Every sensation was lighting a new candle within them—and nothing could ever change between them. Because every time that they kissed, every time that they found their way to one another, they found themselves deeper in love and more fully enamored with one another than before.
It wasn't that he was just the love of her life—it was that Gale Cleven was entirely her life .
Just as his hands were sliding up her dress, tempting and teasing at the thought of making love once again—Daisy was giving a cry and totally and fully awake.
Kathryn and Gale couldn't help the fact that they were like two blushing teenagers as they stood there sheepishly. And then she was moving, picking up Daisy and bringing her to see her father. "Oh, you just want some attention, huh sweet girl?" Kathryn murmured in a gentle lulling tone.
Gale swept up his daughter from Kathryn's arms, a look of utter ease and enjoyment crossing his features. And as he pressed a kiss to the top of Daisy's head, Kathryn thought that she finally understood what Becky and Poppy had meant— when they said that they wanted to have dozens of babies . It had less to do with being a mother and more to do with seeing her husband standing there with a baby.
And there, in the dining room lighting, the three members of the Cleven family just softly danced together—and Kathryn felt whole and complete.