Timeless

Chapter 15

A/N: And we've reached the chapter....I will not apologize for going there haha. Oops?

That next day came early. Goodbyes were now the worst part of Kathryn's life. How to explain to anyone the anticipation that she felt? How to explain to anyone how her insides twisted up and wrenched themselves together like some sort of mechanical problem. And it wasn't just once—it was every single damn time.

Still, she treasured every moment before the goodbye. And Kathryn Egan didn't know it yet, but she would think back on that goodbye every single day for a long time. It would haunt her every footstep and every waking corner of her mind, like some sort of ghost that just wanted to be put to rest. She didn't know that though.

Didn't know that it was the last time Gale Cleven would hold her close and tell her that he'd be back soon. Didn't know that it was the last time he would cradle her face and press a kiss to her lips. Didn't know that it was the last time she would hug him. Didn't know that she'd forget the scent of his aftershave, or the way that his hands felt on hers. Didn't know that it would be the last day that she felt like a whole human being.

She didn't know that.

Later though, Kathryn would attribute the horror that had cored a hole in her chest to some sort of knowing feeling. The same way you just knew when something was the end. The way that you just knew when something had happened.

Kathryn felt it pierce her soul like jabbing a needle through her eye. She had been standing in the hospital wing, wrapping up a bandage. And her throat had closed up and for a moment, it was all she could do to just keep her gaze level and steady. Because nothing had happened—it had to just be anxiousness.

Hypervigilance existed, after all. And she had seen it already with Annika, ever on guard and watchful with a sort of haunted expression in her eyes. And Kathryn didn't think this was hypervigilance—she wasn't haunted . Exhaustion was all this was. That's all it had to be.

If anyone was coming home, it was Buck.

And that's what she told herself for several hours. Because of course she was now being hysterical—things had gotten more and more real when he had given her that promise ring. That promise ring now hung on the locket around her neck like some sort of security blanket and solemn oath. Of course now that the topic of marriage had been brought up, she was going to hyperfixate and panic about the littlest of things. It was natural , right?

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It was early afternoon when it happened. When the sirens started again, Kathryn just kept her spot next to her patient—ignoring the fact that every other nurse in the room, including Barbara, was looking out the window. Because she didn't want to see. Just like every other time, she didn't want to see. Didn't want to know.

But unlike every other time, when Laura would usually call out the count of the planes, she didn't. She just stood there at the window, gaze fixed on something in the distance. "I count 12," Laura finally said quietly.

And Kathryn didn't say anything. Because maybe she was wrong and maybe she had miscounted in some way. "Back to work, ladies," Barbara said in a firm tone, gaze washing over the rest of the nurses.

In some small way, Kathryn was grateful to Barbara for that. Because any further discussion would surely merit some sort of questioning from Kathryn and she just didn't want to deal with that right now. And until Buck Cleven walked through that door, Kathryn would just continue to do her job and do it well.