A/N: Okay....give me all the pregnancy thoughts, questions, headcanons, I'm to that point haha
The car ride back to the house was done in total and complete silence. After Kathryn had finally stopped the tears from spilling down her cheeks, she had asked to go home—and Gale agreed. Judith was an absolute terror for approaching Kathryn publicly about something that was none of her damn business anyway. They hadn't even been married for a full year and already it seemed that people were butting into things that had nothing to do with them.
If he had been patient with Judith before—all of that was gone now and he couldn't care less if they never spoke again. He'd keep Kathryn away from that woman with all of the gusto of a man protecting his wife. Even if it meant keeping her from her own mother.
Gale glanced over at Kathryn as he drove—she said nothing. Her gaze was kept carefully trained on the streets that they were passing. "You shouldn't listen to her," Gale said in a careful tone. He knew that treading lightly was going to be the thing that kept him on good terms with Kathryn.
"About which part?" Kathryn questioned, letting out a sigh. "The part where I'm a whore or the part where I'm selfish and driving you away?"
"To all of it."
Kathryn just sucked in a sharp breath and tore her gaze away from Gale. "You know—it wasn't so bad getting called a whore by everyone else. But from her—"
Instantly, Gale's right hand was on her hand and holding it gently. "You're not ."
She just gave him a pained smile. "Are you gonna hit everyone who makes me cry?" She questioned quietly.
Gale remembered—faintly—that back when they had been on base, he had punched the man who made Kathryn cry. And truth be told, every single time that someone had ever even questioned Kathryn's integrity or made any such comments, he had wanted to beat people senseless. She was his wife —and he'd be damned if he let people get away with that.
"I just might."
"We're gonna be here for a while then," Kathryn murmured as he parked the car in their driveway.
"Come on—" Gale's voice died in his throat as he looked over at Kathryn, just sitting in the car. "Honey?"
"I'm coming," Kathryn was slow to follow him, steps heavy as she made her way inside.
Even the inside of their house seemed to have a somber tone—despite the fact that it had been her refuge just hours earlier. As soon as the door was securely shut, Gale just gathered Kathryn up in his arms and hugged her against him gently.
"It's not always going to be like this," Gale murmured into her hairline.
She wasn't so sure about that. Kathryn suddenly felt very much like she was a liar . Because her mother hadn't necessarily been wrong about something that she had said. It was true, they had only been married for a year. But Kathryn had avoided the topic of children of their own—avoided the topic of pregnancy even—and that all was for a reason.
Breaking away from the hug, Kathryn just let out a deep sigh and looked up into Gale's eyes. Those deep eyes—with the expanse of an ocean and a sky, the promise of freedom, the promise of life—
"Do you want kids?" Kathryn murmured the words that terrified her more than any other words in existence.
Gale's expression flickered for just a moment, hovering in between uncertainty and confusion. "We don't have to talk about this right now, Kath."
"It was going to come up at some point. My mother just pushed the issue, that's all," Kathryn replied softly.
Gale let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, glancing around the darkened house. "I mean—" The words stuck in his throat as though he were choking on them. How was he supposed to verbalize what he felt?
He wanted children, like any man did. He wanted a family—dreamed about a future day when he and Kathryn had children of their own. But that was a double-edged sword that constantly cut at him. Because that dream required him to be a father . And he didn't know how to do that. Didn't know how to be someone other than the only father he had ever known. Didn't want to be him .
And truth be told, the thought of Kathryn pregnant at all terrified him. He remembered the thought of it in the Camp, the way that all of those women had looked like they knew the end was near. Kathryn had said that it was a death sentence and then Maggie had bled out in front of them all. They had watched a woman hemorrhage to death and there was nothing that he could do. Pregnancy wasn't something he could stop complications from arising in. He wouldn't be in control .
Other things, he could fix. But not that.
"Someday, yes. I'd like to have children with you," Gale finally struggled the words out, eyes falling on her. "Even if I don't know how to be a father and that scares me."
"And what if—" Kathryn's voice tore off at the end, an indescribable sound of pain in her voice.
"The 'what ifs' don't matter much to me, honey."
"I don't know if I can have children."
The words blurted out before she could even stop them. It was as if she had fired a gun and had no chance of taking control of the situation or the narrative now. It had spilled from her lips and it was a secret she had kept in her chest since the day she had received a physical at Thorpe Abbot, back when she had first gotten back.
Gale's brow furrowed as he looked at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean—" Kathryn let out a huff of air and her shoulders deflated as her gaze landed on the ground. "That infection, back in the Camp—from the tools they used—it's not—I had a physical and they told me that because of that, they're not sure if I can give you that."
Hausmann was still haunting them and he was dead.
And so when Gale Cleven sucked in a breath and then walked out the door, Kathryn couldn't help that the tears came spilling out. Because surely, if he didn't hate her before, he hated her now. And surely if he had walked out—then it was all just over . And her mother had been right.
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If Gale Cleven hadn't had a million thoughts running through his head, he would have recognized the fact that walking out on his wife after a revelation like that was probably the type of scene that would cause a downward spiral for her. But his head was spinning with everything she had told him and the way that Hausmann was a part of this marriage in a way that he hated. Everything that that man did to her infected their life together and it was unfair .
He wasn't sure where he was driving too or where he was going. And truth be told, if Bucky hadn't already left on his honeymoon, he probably would have just gone to his best friend about the entire situation. But Bucky wasn't here. He was gone.
And so when he showed up at Robert Rosenthal's hotel, awkwardly knocking on the door and feeling like a fool—well, he wasn't all that pleased about the change of events. Rosie answered the door, a surprise on his face and the sound of a crying baby hit Gale's ears—it was like being slapped in the face, honestly.
"Uh—Major Cleven," Rosie said in surprise. "What are you—"
"I shouldn't have come—"
"No, it's fine," Rosie shut the door behind him and crossed out into the hall. "What can I help you with?"
Gale just felt like he was going to throw up sitting there. The thought of Rosie's wife and baby in the hotel room—and then it occurred to him; this feeling was jealousy. Because the circumstances were practically the same for Rosie and Laura—a nurse and a Major—and they had beat every single odd that was placed in front of them.
And he and Kathryn—they had been dealt shit hand after shit hand. And maybe he was a bit too much like his father— their luck was down and he felt like it was always going to change, wanted it to change more than anything else .
"I just—needed someone else's opinion."
"And Bucky's already gone."
"I—"
"I'm not offended. I get it, you know," Rosie said with a shrug. "You're brother-in-laws and best friends. It's probably easier to go to him for advice about his sister than anyone else."
"Yeah," Gale felt like his throat was sand and he was stuck in a desert.
"So what's on your mind?"
Gale was silent for a long moment. "Do you ever just...get mad at the way that things turned out?"
"Can't say that I do. Doesn't mean life's fair, of course. But things tend to have a way of working themselves out."
"And if they don't?"
Rosie peered at Gale Cleven, recognizing the sadness and desperation in that man's eyes. He had read over the testimonial that Kathryn had provided him and his heart had broken for his friend—and then he hadn't even been able to get her the justice that she so desperately wanted and needed.
"Is this about what happened with the trial?"
"Partially."
Rosie let out a deep sigh. "I tried to get them to guard him 24/7, and they didn't listen. It was bullshit, the way that all went down."
"Then we agree on that." Gale's voice died for a moment and then he was speaking softly. "Kath doesn't know—doesn't know if she can have kids—because of the shit that he did."
"Shit," Rosie breathed out. "I—that's a damn shame. I'm sorry about that."
"And I don't know what I'm supposed to say—about any of it. Because she's—well, she's—"
"Stubborn and opinionated?"
A small smile tugged on the corner of Gale Cleven's mouth. "That's one way to put it."
"Listen," Rosie murmured, turning to face him. "I may not be an expert on your relationship—we'll leave that to Bucky. But I do know Kathryn. And she's absolutely been dead-set on you and her since the minute that I met her. And despite everything that happened, you two keep finding your way to one another. And you keep beating the odds. So you both keep trying and I think it'll all turn out just fine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Gale got back, it was nearly dusk and the lights throughout the entire house were on. He entered through the front door, eyes immediately landing on a suitcase at the stairs. "Kathryn?" He called out, confusion flickering and bubbling up to the surface.
Kathryn let out a scathing huff of air as she exited the bedroom, throwing a pile of his clothes onto the ground. "You're back," she stated in clear disdain.
Had he missed something?
"Honey, did I—are we going somewhere?"
The look on Kathryn's face immediately made him realize he had screwed up . She just stood at the top of the stairs, a coldness on her face that he hadn't seen since they were back in the damn Camp. "You walked out."
"I was just clearing my head."
"You walked out on me." Gale felt his entire mouth go dry as Kathryn walked down the stairs, fury growing more and more as she approached him. "You walked out—after I told you something that has been eating me alive for almost a year. I didn't know where you were going, if you planned on coming back—and you did it all after my mother told me that you would leave me . What the hell was I supposed to think, Gale?"
She shoved past him and walked into the living room, with Gale following after her. "Kath, I didn't mean it like that—"
"Did you mean anything?" Kathryn whirled around so quickly he almost got whiplash as her hair slapped across his face and he backed up a step.
Gale's expression hardened and he took a breath. He wasn't about to say anything he didn't mean—even if she did want to fight with him at the moment. "You told me something I didn't know. I needed to think about it and process."
"You could've told me where you were going! That you needed some time!" Kathryn exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration. "I would've understood!"
"You're angry."
"No shit! That's the second damn time, Gale!" Kathryn said in frustration. He could see it in the way that her face was flush and he heard it in the way that her voice trembled with anger . "And every time—it feels like you're walking out on me because you won't fight for me—or with me!"
"What is it that you want?" He demanded, eyes wide at her.
"I want you to fight with me and for me! I don't want you to walk away from me—from us !" Kathryn breathed out, tears beginning to fill her eyes. "Because every time that you do, it feels like you don't—you don't feel the same way that I do."
"Don't feel the same way?" Gale couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. His tone came out in a strangled mess and he just stared at her in surprise.
"No." Kathryn just let out a huff of air and gestured at the couch. "If you're gonna stay, then you can sleep down here tonight—" And then Gale was crossing behind her and hugging her from behind. He didn't mind the fact that she was shoving at his arms in annoyance. Did she truly not know how he felt?
"Gale, I am not in the damn mood—"
"I'm sorry," he murmured against her neck.
She seemed to relax ever so slightly at the words and Kathryn hated the way that all of the fight inside of her just seemed to die when she was in his arms. Because to her, Gale Cleven was home and his arms felt like finding herself again. But she was angry— angry that he had walked out on her and left her standing there in her hurt and raw feelings the way that he did. And that did not go away so easily.
"Just—just forget about it," Kathryn mumbled, hands straying to pick up the blanket on the couch. And then his hands were on hers and spinning her around to face him and suddenly Kathryn felt breathless—
And Gale was standing there with a hunger in his eyes and Kathryn couldn't help the fact that her gaze was flickering down to his lips. She was angry and there was a fire in her—that only Gale Cleven could quench. "You really think I don't feel the same way?" Gale's voice was a low guttural thing that made her thighs clench together.
But Kathryn wasn't about to back down from what she had said. Sometimes she said things that she came to regret later—but in the moment, she had absolutely meant every word that she had said. So she stared him in the eyes, unwilling to back down from the challenge in his gaze.
"You walked out...actions speak louder than words, Major Cleven ," Kathryn murmured the words.
No sooner had those words escaped her mouth that she was being pushed backwards and backed up into the wall, his hands tight on her hips. Surprise bloomed in her eyes but she had no chance to respond to that—he grasped her hands and pushed them above her head, then ducked down to press a kiss to her lips.
The fervor in which Gale was kissing her seemed to awaken something inside her. Suddenly, she was just as starving as she had been in that camp. The full force of his kiss was as powerful as a tidal wave that was pulling her out to sea. She was fully drowning in Gale Cleven and he was stealing away her breaths. Kathryn wrested her hands from his grasp, clawing at his shirt and desperately trying to remove it. Each button was a frustration that she had neither the patience or the steady hands for—ripping the shirt was almost inconsequential.
He just gave a low laugh—one that made sparks light in her molten core—then shook his head and removed her hands from his shirt. He attacked her jaw and neck with calculated precision, drawing out whimpers and whining sounds with every graze of his teeth. He was making her come undone yet again. And it was too much for her. And then they were stumbling over the carpet and her shoes were flying off as he deposited her atop the entryway table—simply sliding the pictures to the ground.
Kathryn didn't even mind the crashing sound that came from that. Her arms were locked around his neck and her legs locked around his waist, trying desperately to pull him to her. She craved the friction and contact that would satiate the burning wildfire within—it would be like a star burning up from life and brightness.
But then he was breaking away from her and gaze falling on her skirt and the stockings that were on her legs. Any reverence he had shown the first time removing the stockings was long gone—this was a ravenous passion. Kathryn let out a gasp of ecstasy as his teeth grazed right above where the stockings started—and then he was tearing them off wildly with his teeth and ripping them in doing so.
"Gale—" Her voice died in her throat as she let out a gasp and held tightly to the table for balance.
He wasn't taking his damn time—that was certain. The hot kisses and biting that led their way all the way up her thighs left her breathless. If she was annoyed with his lack of speaking earlier, he was certainly putting his mouth to use now. She was floating away into pure and utter bliss.
Every sound that spilled from her mouth—every gasp and moan and whine—just urged Gale Cleven on. She was hanging by a thread, all semblance of self-control and anger turning into a primal need and he knew it. And when she tugged on his hair, begging almost too much for him to take—he knew he had to give her what she wanted. He rose up, returning to his standing position.
" Please ," Kathryn just barely could form the word—mind still stuck in the clouds where he had left her.
And then he was locking eyes with her and grasping at her hands as he let out shuddering breaths. "I love you," he breathed out—and he wanted her to know that he did. "You know that, right?"
She grasped him firmly by the neck, staring into his eyes. "I know that. I love you." And then she had brought their lips to meet again in a collision of limbs and passion—and then for the first time since Hausmann had died—Kathryn forgot completely about the memory of what had been done to her. She was completely and totally enraptured in her husband —in returning to his orbit and being undone and part of him .
This was electricity and fire in human form—the way that they burned each other up and changed one another on a fundamental level. And Kathryn was alright with burning up if it meant loving Gale Cleven another day of her life.
And by the time that they broke apart, the two of them were laying on the floor, totally and completely spent. "You know?" Kathryn breathed out, chest still heaving. "That was a much better apology than just sorry."
He grinned at her. "I'll have to use it again."
"You better."