I was back at Heathrow.
Again.
Somehow, this place felt familiar and foreign at the same time, a constant reminder of the transient nature of my existence. The bustling crowds, the cacophony of languages, the endless rows of departure gates stretching out before me like a maze.
It was like I had been here a thousand times before, each visit blending seamlessly into the next until they all blurred together in a haze of memories and emotions.
Weirdly enough, I had somehow managed to sit exactly on the same seat I had been sitting on the last time I was there.
I glanced around the bustling terminal, my eyes drawn to the sea of faces passing by. I was becoming better and better at tuning out the sounds around me. Probably because I was so used to doing it on game day.
I took a second to take in the sounds surrounding me.
An announcement was made; "Flight BA172 to Madrid is now boarding at Gate 26. Passengers are kindly requested to proceed to the gate for boarding."
Yeah. How fucking ironic, I thought, rolling my eyes.
With a bitter twist of irony, I couldn't help but scoff at the announcement, my lips curling into a wry smile as I glanced towards Gate 26. Madrid.
The simple idea of setting foot in this place had been scaring the shit out of me for weeks.
I looked down at my phone. I had no new notifications.
For a brief moment, I wondered what Leah was doing right now.
I wondered if she was thinking about me. If she was worried about me. If she regretted our fight. I wondered if she was okay, if she had eaten anything, if she had managed to get some sleep. I wondered if she missed me as much as I missed her.
But above all else, I wondered if she still loved me.
Because I did. God, did I love her.
I thought back to when I had left our house to go to Katie's. I remembered throwing up, the exact second I had closed the door.
Sure, we had talked. And sure, we felt somehow a tiny bit better than we did a few days ago. It was still agonizingly painful to be apart from her, to feel her absence like a gaping hole in my chest.
We had...Well, she. She had decided it was better I stayed at Katie's for a few more days. Even after the news. I didn't even have the strength to argue with her.
I sighed and looked up from my phone to the arrivals screen above me.
Barcelona. Tokyo. Los Angeles. Paris. Taiwan. New York. Buenos Aires. Sydney. Madrid.
One thing I knew, I was so glad I was staying in London.
"Valentina!" I looked up at the sound of my name, my heart skipping a beat as I saw a familiar figure making her way towards me through the crowd.
Charlotte, with a huge, stupid smile on her face, ran towards me with her suitcase trailing behind, almost knocking people over but having absolutely no care in the world.
I couldn't help but grin at the sight of Charlotte barreling towards me, her infectious energy lighting up the bustling terminal like a beacon of joy. Despite the heaviness in my heart, her presence never failed to lift my spirits, even if only for a moment.
"Charlotte!" I called out, my voice filled with genuine delight as I rose from my seat to greet my best friend.
As she reached me, she enveloped me in a tight hug, her arms squeezing me with all the force of a hurricane as she spun me around in a whirlwind of laughter and excitement. "Valentina, oh my god, it's been too long!" she exclaimed, her voice bubbling with enthusiasm as she finally released me from her embrace.
I returned Charlotte's hug with equal fervor, feeling a surge of warmth and affection flood my heart at the sight of her familiar face. "I know, right?" I exclaimed, a wide smile spreading across my lips as I stepped back to take in her appearance. "Are you happy to be in London? You're gonna love it here. I mean, it ain't LA, but it's got its own charm."
Charlotte grinned, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she nodded eagerly. "Oh, absolutely! I've always wanted to visit London, and now that I'm finally here, I can't wait to explore every inch of this amazing city," she exclaimed, her enthusiasm infectious. "So, where is the lady?" Charlotte asked me, and I frowned at the question. She rolled her eyes. "Leah. Is she here?"
I blemished at the question, my mind spiraling back to everything that had happened during the last month. I shook my head, trying to mask my inner turmoil. "No, no, she's at home," I replied, smiling weakly. I was supposed to go home today, with Charlotte by my side. For the first time in five days. It might have been stupid, but I thought Charlotte would actually help ease the tension that might still linger between Leah and me. And Charlotte not knowing anything about it felt like a blessing. "Come on, let's get out of here." I then added, gesturing towards the exit with a tilt of my head.
Charlotte nodded eagerly, her eyes shining with excitement as she grabbed her suitcase and fell into step beside me. "Lead the way, Villanueva." I winced at the mention of my family name. Charlotte was the only one still calling me by it. I didn't have the heart to correct her. She had been calling me that my whole life. "So, what's the plan?" Charlotte asked eagerly, her eyes darting around as she took in the sights and sounds of London for the first time. "Are we going straight to your place, or do you have something else in mind?"
I shook my head at the question, walking with her toward my car. "Nah. We're just heading home for now. Thought you'd be a bit jet-lagged." I said with a small smile, knowing that Charlotte's boundless energy would likely carry her through the day without so much as a yawn. "But once we drop your stuff off, we can go grab some food or something. I don't know if... if Leah planned anything."
Charlotte nodded in understanding as we made our way out of the terminal, her excitement palpable. "Sounds good to me," she replied, her voice filled with anticipation. "I could definitely go for some fish and chips or maybe some Indian food. Oh, and we have to try some of that famous British tea, of course!"
I laughed at her words, rolling my eyes. "All the cliches then, huh?"
"Girl you know it. I'm sick of the hood. I'm gonna do some bougie London shit all week." She declared with a playful smirk and a sway of the hips.
I chuckled at Charlotte's enthusiasm, shaking my head in amusement. "Well, you're in luck. London's got plenty of bougie shit to offer," I replied with a grin, unlocking the doors of my Ford as we approached it, and taking Charlotte's suitcase to shove it into my trunk.
Charlotte let out a whoop of excitement, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet as she eagerly climbed into the passenger seat of my car. "Hell yeah, I can't wait!" she exclaimed, her eyes shining with excitement as she settled into her seat. "Thanks for inviting me, Val. I missed you, man," she told me as I settled in my own seat.
"Missed you too, Lotte," I replied, turning on the car and driving out of the parking lot. Charlotte grinned back at me, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she leaned back in her seat, her hands drumming eagerly on the dashboard.
We spend the drive catching up on each other's lives, laughing and joking like we used to back in LA.
As we made our way through the bustling streets of London, Lotte seemed to be amazed by everything she saw, from the bricked houses to the chicken shops we passed by.
As we pulled up to the familiar street where Leah and I lived, a pang of nervousness shot through me, my heart pounding in my chest as I wondered what awaited us inside. I tried to act as if it was just another day of me going home. When I opened my car door, Lotte immediately turned her head around to look at me, a shocked look on her face.
"Wait wait wait wait wait, that's where you live? Damn girl, you're fucking rich!" Charlotte exclaimed, her eyes wide with wonder as she took in the sight of Leah and I's townhouse. Compared to the house I lived at in Boyle Heights, it was indeed quite an upgrade.
"Yeah, well. It's Leah's house, technically, so..." I shrugged. I hadn't spent a single penny on that house, Leah was already the owner when I moved in with her.
Charlotte's eyes widened even further at my casual mention of Leah's ownership of the house, her expression a mixture of surprise and admiration. "Damn, Leah's got it going on, huh?" she remarked, her voice tinged with awe. "No wonder you're so whipped for her."
I couldn't help but chuckle at Charlotte's blunt observation, a wry smile playing at the corners of my lips. "Yeah, something like that," I replied, getting out of the car and walking to the trunk. I got my bag and Charlotte's suitcase out of it before closing it and walking towards my front door. Charlotte followed close behind, taking her suitcase back from my hands.
"Why you got a bag?" She asked, frowning. I froze at the question. I hesitated for a moment, my mind racing as I searched for a plausible explanation.
"Oh, uh, just- I was at training. Came right to the airport to pick you up." I lied. Lied blatantly.
Charlotte nodded in understanding, apparently buying my hastily fabricated excuse without question. "Ah, gotcha," she replied with a grin, her curiosity seemingly satisfied for the moment. "Well, let's get inside before I pass out from jet lag," she joked, her tone lighthearted as she followed me up the steps to the front door.
I hesitated for a second. I had almost knocked. Knocked on the door of my own house. I sighed silently and finally opened the door, stepping in with a heavy heart as I ushered Charlotte inside. The familiar scent of home washed over me, comforting and bittersweet all at once. I glanced around the entryway, taking in the familiar sight of the living room and the staircase leading up to the bedrooms above.
Leah was not downstairs, from what I could tell at least. I didn't know if it was a relief or not.
Charlotte followed me inside, her eyes darting around the entryway with curiosity as she took in the surroundings. "Nice digs, Val," she remarked, her voice filled with admiration as she glanced around the living room.
"Yeah, thanks." I offered Charlotte a small smile, looking at the glass wall, to see if Dray was in the garden. He wasn't. Which meant he was probably out on a walk with Leah.
"So, where am I crashing?" Charlotte asked, interrupting my train of thought as she glanced around the living room, her eyes scanning the room in search of a suitable place to set down her suitcase.
"We have a guest bedroom. I'll take you there," I said, nodding towards the staircase. Charlotte excitedly nodded, lifting her suitcase and following me upstairs.
As we made our way up the stairs, Charlotte's excitement seemed to bubble over, her eyes darting around the hallway as she took in the sight of her temporary home for the next few days. I led her down the hallway to the guest bedroom, opening the door and stepping aside to let her enter first.
Charlotte let out a delighted gasp as she stepped into the room, her eyes widening with wonder as she took in the surroundings. "Wow, this is amazing!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with genuine appreciation as she set down her suitcase and began to explore the room.
I couldn't help but smile at Charlotte's enthusiasm. "Glad you like it," I replied, leaning against the doorframe with casual ease as I watched her take in her surroundings. The room was pretty basic. Probably the least decorated room of the entire house. It had grey walls and a wooden floor, with a neatly made bed and a few framed photos of London. It mostly looked like a hotel room. "You have your own bathroom, over there," I said, pointing to a door by the end of the bedroom.
Charlotte nodded eagerly, heading to the door and opening it, shoving her head inside for a second. "Damnnn. Italian shower and shit." I heard her muffled voice said, and I giggled at her words.
I chuckled at Charlotte's reaction, her excitement infectious as she explored every nook and cranny of the guest bedroom. Despite the simplicity of the room, her enthusiasm made it seem like a five-star hotel suite.
Suddenly, I heard the front door open, and I instantly knew Leah was home. I froze for a second. I shot a look at Charlotte, she was too busy unpacking her things to notice anything.
"I'll.... be right back," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper as I hastily made my way out of the guest bedroom and down the stairs, my heart pounding in my chest as I prepared to face Leah for the first time in days.
As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw Leah standing in the entryway, her expression a mixture of surprise and uncertainty as she took in my presence. For a moment, neither of us spoke, the weight of our unspoken emotions hanging heavy in the air between us.
"Hey," I finally managed to say, my voice barely audible as I met Leah's gaze with a mixture of apprehension and longing.
"Hey," Leah replied softly, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness as she stepped closer to me, her eyes searching mine for any sign of what was to come.
I opened my mouth to speak, to break the suffocating silence that enveloped us like a thick fog, but before I could utter a single word, Charlotte noisily ran down the stairs, before stopping when she reached us.
"Holy shit. Leah Williamson," She said, and before Leah could say anything, Charlotte kneeled in front of her, surprising both my girlfriend and me.
"Lotte. What the hell are you doing?" I whisper-yelled at my best friend, who raised an eyebrow at my question.
"She's OBE. That's what I'm supposed to do." She whisper-yelled back before she turned her attention back to Leah, her eyes shining with admiration. "Leah Williamson, it is an absolute honor to meet you," she declared, extending her hand for Leah to shake.
Leah blinked in surprise at Charlotte's unexpected gesture, her expression softening as she reached out to shake Charlotte's hand. "Uh, thanks?" she replied, her tone laced with confusion as she glanced at me for an explanation.
I rolled my eyes at Charlotte's antics, reaching out to grab her by the arm and make her stand up. "Get your ass up, dumbass," I muttered, shooting Charlotte a playful glare as I pulled her to her feet. "Sorry about her," I added with an apologetic smile, shooting Leah a sheepish look. "She's a bit... stupid."
Charlotte raised an eyebrow at my words, gently slapping the back of my head. "Bitch, watch it," she teased, shooting me a playful smirk before turning her attention back to Leah. "But seriously, it's so great to finally meet you in person, Leah. Val talks about you all the time."
Leah's expression softened at Charlotte's words, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she met Charlotte's gaze. "Yeah, same here," she replied warmly, her voice tinged with genuine affection. "It's nice to finally put a face to the name."
Charlotte grinned back at Leah, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she glanced between the two of us. "Well, I'm starving. How about you guys? Any plans for lunch?" she asked, changing the subject with her usual breezy demeanor.
I shot Leah a questioning look, silently asking for her input. Leah hesitated for a moment. "I, hum... already ate." She said, and somehow, her words hurt me more than they should have.
I felt a pang of disappointment at Leah's words, my heart sinking slightly as I struggled to mask my disappointment. "Oh, uh, okay," I replied, forcing a small smile as I tried to hide my deflated mood.
"Sorry," Leah added, and I immediately shook my head, trying my best to look as if it didn't bother me.
"It's alright," I said, my voice coming out a little more strained than I intended as I flashed Leah a tight-lipped smile. "We'll just...Charlotte and I can grab a bite to eat, no big deal."
Leah's apology hung in the air, a subtle tension lingered between us, the unspoken weight of our unresolved emotions palpable in the room. Despite my efforts to maintain a facade of indifference, the ache in my chest refused to dissipate, a constant reminder of the fractured state of our relationship.
Charlotte, ever the beacon of levity, seemed oblivious to the undercurrent of tension as she interjected with her usual enthusiasm. "No worries, we'll just have a girls' lunch then," she declared, her voice bright and cheerful as she flashed us both a reassuring smile. "Come on, Val, let's go find some grub!"
I nodded, looking over at my best friend. "Yeah, just... can you wait for me in the car? I'll be two minutes."
Charlotte nodded eagerly, her enthusiasm undimmed by the subtle tension in the air. "Yeah, sure," she replied, flashing me a bright smile as she headed towards the front door, "Take your time, I'll be waiting!" With that, she disappeared out the door, leaving Leah and I alone once again.
For a moment, neither of us spoke. I could feel Leah's eyes on me, her gaze searching mine for any hint of what was going on beneath the surface.
I took a deep breath, summoning every ounce of courage I possessed. "Leah," I began, my voice barely above a whisper as I met her gaze with a mixture of apprehension and longing. "I... I'm sorry."
Leah's eyes widened at my words, and she immediately grabbed my hands, shaking her head. "What? No, I'm sorry, baby. I shouldn't have kicked you out of the house like I did. I... I thought I was doing the right thing. That was stupid of me. Neither of us needed that. I should've stayed. Should've stayed by your side and faced everything with you. Instead, I fled like a coward." Her voice wavered with emotion, her eyes brimming with tears as she spoke. "I miss you, Val. God, I miss you so much it hurts."
Tears welled up in my eyes as I reached out to cup Leah's face in my hands, my fingers trembling with a mixture of fear and longing. "I miss you too, Leah," I whispered, my voice choked with emotion. "God, I've missed you every single second we were away from each other."
Leah's tears spilled over, mingling with my own as she leaned into my touch, her forehead resting against mine as we clung to each other with a desperate intensity born of longing and regret. At that moment, all the walls we had built between us came crashing down, leaving us raw and vulnerable in each other's arms.
"I love you, Val," Leah whispered. "I love you more than anything in this world, and I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so sorry, I-"
I interrupted Leah's words, my lips crashing against hers, a fervent kiss filled with all the pent-up passion and longing that had consumed us during our time apart.
When we finally pulled away, breathless and dizzy with emotion, Leah offered me a tender smile, one I feared I would never get to experience again. "I love you too, Leah," I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper as I gazed into her eyes, my soul laid bare before her. "More than anything in this world."