When I arrived at training that afternoon, I was happier than I had been in days.
Mostly because of my evening and morning spent with Leah, but also because it was finally more than 10°C in north London, with very little wind in the air.
Katie immediately noticed my improved mood as I walked onto the training ground. She raised an eyebrow, a playful smile playing on her lips. "Someone's in a good mood." She said, as I caught a ball and started juggling with it mindlessly, my hands buried deep into my pockets.
I chuckled, the joy bubbling within me impossible to contain. "Yeah, had a great evening yesterday," I replied, and Katie's grin widened.
"Yeah? What you do?" She asked, and I looked at her for a second, before focusing my eyes on the ball again.
"Nothing special," I said, shrugging, the prospect of telling people about my sexuality still scary in my head. Caitlin already knew. That was already one too many. Even though my mother was now aware of my situation, I had spent so much time ignoring and denying my own identity, it felt like stepping into a vulnerable space every time I considered sharing it with someone new.
Even though both Katie and Beth had been on my back about how close I was getting with Leah, for now, it was only jokes to them. Or so I liked to think.
As I continued juggling the ball, Katie's playful demeanor persisted. "Come on, Vale, spill the beans. You can't just say 'nothing special' and expect me to buy it. What happened?"
"I just... watched a movie. A good movie." I said, and thankfully, Katie didn't have time to question me any longer, because the rest of the team arrived on the training ground, accompanied by coach Jonas, and we immediately had to get to work.
I escaped Katie's curiosity by walking towards Emily, asking her if she wanted us to warm up together.
The training session then went on, and it was the best I had done in weeks. I was clinical in my passes, scoring goals on every occasion possible, and even managed a few slide tackles.
Coach Jonas, ever observant, noted the heightened energy. "Looks like someone's found their groove today," he remarked with a nod, a twinkle of approval in his eyes.
I grinned in response, feeling a sense of pride in my performance. I felt relentless. Like I could run a marathon and still play an entire match afterward.
Even when Leah started defending on me, I somehow managed to pass her times and times again, each successful play fueling the friendly banter between us.
During water break, she cast me a knowing smile and a playful wink, which I answered with rosy cheeks and a childish laugh.
Coach Jonas, pleased with the heightened intensity, guided us through drills with a keen eye for detail. The ball seemed like an extension of my being, responding effortlessly to my every touch.
The training session progressed seamlessly, and by the time we wrapped up, the sun had started its descent, casting a warm glow over the field. The exhilaration of the session lingered, leaving me with a sense of accomplishment.
As we gathered in a circle for a brief team talk, Coach Jonas commended the collective effort. "Great energy today, everyone. Let's carry this momentum into the upcoming matches."
With a final rallying cry, the team dispersed, and I felt a mix of exhaustion and fulfillment. Leah approached me with a playful grin, her eyes reflecting the shared satisfaction of a successful training session.
"You were unstoppable today," she commented, and I offered her a quick smirk, gently shoving her shoulder with my own.
"Just had a good day, I guess," I replied, the modesty evident in my tone. "But hey, I appreciate the compliment. Coming from you, it means a lot."
We went back to the locker room, quickly showering then changing, music blasting from Beth's speaker accompanying our every move. Once I got changed, I sat in front of my locker and put my sneakers on, silently observing my teammates.
Katie sat next to me, laying her arm on my shoulder. "Doing something tonight?" She asked me, and I raised an eyebrow at the question, looking back at her.
"Why?" I asked defensively, knowing nothing was innocent about Katie.
"Wanna hit the pub with me?" She asked, and I immediately snorted.
"Just so you can extort information from me? No, thank you."
Katie chuckled, not denying her intentions. "Can't blame a girl for trying," she said, giving my shoulder a playful squeeze. "But seriously, it's been a while since we just hung out."
"A while? It's been three days." I said, chuckling. "Really though, I can't. I need to FaceTime my best friend."
She raised an eyebrow at my answer, crossing her arms. "Best friend, huh? She cute?" She asked, and I chuckled, shaking my head.
"She's seventeen," I answered, and Beth laughed loudly next to us at the revelation, while Katie blemished.
Katie's eyes widened in mock horror, her hands raised in surrender. "Alright, alright! I was just curious, no need to unleash the wrath of legal age on me."
"I'm joking, McCabe. She's 19. But she is straight. And unavailable."
Katie's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Straight and unavailable? You sure about that?" she teased, a sly grin playing on her lips.
I rolled my eyes, giving her a pointed look. "Yes, Katie, very sure. Besides, I'm not about to complicate my life with a best friend drama."
She laughed, patting my back. "Fair enough. You've got enough on your plate, Vale."
After that, we all said goodbye and went on home. Except I didn't.
Well, I did, at first. I did call my best friend for about an hour, talking to her about football, while she recounted to me the latest drama in our high school. But then, as soon as I had hung up, I took my car again, and pulled up to Leah's house, eager to spend another evening with her.
The anticipation of another evening with Leah fueled my drive to her house. The warm glow of the sunset painted the surroundings as I parked, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of comfort in the familiarity of her home.
As I approached the front door, my excitement mingled with a hint of nervousness. I knocked on the door, only for an elder woman to open it, startling me.
"Can I help you, dear?" The woman asked, her eyes holding a mix of curiosity and suspicion.
"I-hum, huh... hum- I..." Incoherent stammering was all I was able to answer with, completely petrified at the idea of being in front of what I assumed to be Leah's mother.
The woman's gaze softened, sensing my nervousness. "Are you looking for Leah, love?" she inquired kindly, a warm smile playing on her lips.
"Y-yes. But it's okay, I'll just come back tomorrow." I said, scratching the back of my neck.
The woman chuckled, a gentle sound that eased my nerves. "Oh, don't be silly, dear. I'll just call her." She said, before turning around, loudly shouting Leah's name, while my cheeks burned. At this exact moment, I wished I could turn invisible so badly.
It was my fault. I had put myself in this situation. I should've asked Leah if she was free before coming over.
Leah appeared at the doorway, her eyes widening in surprise as she took in the unexpected scene. "Vale? What are you doing here?" she asked, a mix of confusion and amusement in her voice.
I shifted nervously, avoiding eye contact with Leah's mother. "I, uh, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Leah's mother smiled knowingly, giving a subtle nod. "I'll leave you two to it, then. Lovely to meet you, Vale." With that, she retreated into the house, leaving Leah and me in the doorway.
Leah's expression shifted from surprise to curiosity as she stepped outside, pulling the door partially closed behind her. "What's going on?"
"I'm so sorry, I just thought we'd spend the evening together, and I didn't think about calling. I had assumed you'd be alone." I explained shamefully.
Leah's laughter filled the air, and she gently touched my arm, her eyes reflecting a mixture of amusement and warmth. "Hey, no worries. You can still eat dinner with me and my parents." She said, and my eyes immediately widened.
"Are you crazy?" I whisper-yelled. "What if they realize there's... something between us?"
Leah raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "Would that be so bad?" She asked, and I gulped at the question.
"Leah, you know I-"
"Yes, I know you need time, Valentina. But... I mean..." she sighed, visibly having a hard time finding her words. "Now that your mom knows, I just don't understand why you would keep hiding it. To our friends and family at least. Strangers and fans and interviewers I would understand, but why do we have to keep this a complete secret, Valentina?"
Leah's earnest question lingered in the air, and I found myself grappling with the weight of my own uncertainties.
"I just... It's not about you, Leah. It's about me and my own fears," I admitted, my voice carrying the weight of vulnerability. "I've spent so much time hiding who I am, even from myself, that the idea of opening up to everyone feels overwhelming."
Leah listened attentively, her gaze unwavering, as if she could see through the layers of my uncertainty. "Valentina, I get it. I really do. But sometimes, holding onto the fear of what might happen keeps us from experiencing what could be. Our connection is special, and I don't want it hidden in the shadows." She explained, desperation evident in her voice. "I mean... parents can be tricky, so that I understand, but to hide it even from Beth, and Katie, and the rest of our teammates? Half of them are lesbians, baby. You know as well as I do that they're just gonna be happy for us. So why not just tell them?"
Leah's words resonated with a truth I had been avoiding. The fear of judgment and societal expectations had kept me tethered to the shadows of secrecy.
Leah's blue eyes bore into mine, a plea for understanding and connection. "I'm not asking you to shout it from the rooftops, Valentina. Just let people in, especially the ones who care about you."
I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of Leah's sincerity and the echoes of my own fears. "I want to, Leah. I really do. It's just... it's scary."
Leah's hand found mine, her touch grounding me in the moment. "That's why we're gonna do it together. Because it's less scary when we are together, innit?"
With a gentle smile, Leah's sincerity washed over me, creating a sense of comfort that transcended my fears.
"Okay, yeah. We should tell the girls." I finally admitted, and a smile immediately graced Leah's lips. "But.. your parents, maybe not today? It's still... it's big."
Leah's understanding smile softened the edges of my lingering apprehensions. "We'll take it one step at a time, Valentina. No rush," she said, gently wrapping her arms around me. "No rush, no pressure, just us." She said, and I smiled softly, but gently pushed her away.
"Wait," I said, shaking my head.
Leah pulled back slightly, looking at me with a curious expression. "What is it?"
I hesitated for a moment before speaking, my voice carrying a mix of playfulness and sincerity. "Before we tell them, maybe we make it official, no?" I said, and she raised an eyebrow at my words. "I take you on a date, tomorrow. And if you feel like it, by the end, when I ask you to be my girlfriend, maybe you could say yes."
Leah's eyes sparkled with a mixture of surprise and delight, and a playful smirk tugged at the corners of her lips. "Are you asking me out on a proper date, Vale?"
I nodded, a bashful smile playing on my lips. "Yeah, you know, dinner, maybe flowers, walking around London. Anything you want."
Leah chuckled, a warmth in her gaze that made my heart flutter. "Well, in that case, I'd love to go on a date with you, Valentina."
A smile graced my lips at her words, excitement evident in Leah's eyes. I looked around for a second, then quickly put my hands around her neck, and my lips on hers.
Leah chuckled against my lips, and kissed me back, her hands grabbing my hips, pushing my body against hers. The world seemed to fade away as Leah's lips met mine, the kiss speaking volumes about how much we had fallen for each other in the course of the last few days.
When we pulled away, we stared into each other's eyes lovingly for a few seconds, until I broke the silence. "I heard it, by the way," I said. Leah raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk playing on her lips. "Heard what?"
I chuckled, my cheeks warming. "You calling me baby."
Leah's cheeks got tainted in red at my words. For once, I was the one making her blush. She rolled her eyes playfully, but her smile betrayed how happy she really was. "Good night, Valentina." She said, and I giggled softly, my hand gradually leaving hers as she walked back into her house.
"Good night, Leah," I replied, and she offered me one last look, before closing the door behind her.