"Why not?" I asked, the fear inside me building when I got no response from my wife.
"Why not Ale?"
"Isy..." she breathed, placing her hand on my knee.
The feeling of her skin against mine normally made me feel safe, but not in this moment, right now it made me feel sick.
"Did you sleep with her?" I asked in a hushed tone, not wanting to be overheard, but needing to get straight to the point. I wanted to know if my suspicions were correct and if there was something more than just a friendship between them all along.
"No, of course not"
"I get it if you did, you've spent every day together for nearly two months, you've got a past... you were together for years before you met me and you've clearly got close again. I just- I need to know"
"We didn't sleep together Isy, I could never do that to you"
"What is it then?"
"We kissed. I mean, she kissed me, but-"
"Stop talking"
"It meant nothing, please just let me explain" Ale pleaded frantically, her voice still in a whisper as we tried to keep our argument under wraps from the rest of the plane.
"Trust me, you will, but not here. Not while I'm holding our sleeping son and definitely not on a plane full of our friends and their families, I'm not doing this now, so please just stop" I said through gritted teeth, before looking down at Jordi who was snoring gently as his hand gripped the fabric of my shirt in his little hand.
An awkward silence fell between us, my heart was broken, so broken that it seriously had me questioning whether it was beating at all. I felt nothing and everything at the same time. I wanted to run, I wanted to get as far away from her as I possibly could in this moment, but I couldn't for many reasons. Jordi asleep in my arms was the first one and another being that we were over 30,000 feet in the air. I was so close to breaking down, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream at her, I wanted to confront Jenni about kissing my wife, but I held myself together. Not for them, not for me, but for my son. He had been my number-one priority since the moment that we found out that we were pregnant and that wasn't going to change now just because I was angry.
"You don't seem surprised" Ale said quietly, looking across at me, her eyes desperately searching for mine, but never finding them.
"I'm not" I mumbled as I stared out of the window at the dark night sky.
"You were all over each other for the whole tournament, practically attached at the hip for weeks, and at times it was like you forgot that Jordi and I even existed. I expected it to be honest"
"Isy..."
"Please just leave it, we'll talk when we get home. I can't do this now"
"I didn't forget about you two"
"Well, it sure felt like you did"
Ale's POV
I hated myself. I hated what I'd done, I hated that I'd hurt Isy and I hated that my family might be torn apart before it had even had a chance really get started.
I wanted to go straight home with Isy and Jordi when we landed, but winning meant that there was a victory parade that we all had to go on, it was the last place I wanted to be. I needed to talk to Isy, I needed to explain, even though I didn't really know how it happened myself...
Jenni and I hadn't seen each other properly in a couple of years before the tournament, we'd both been injured, missing out on international camps which was the only time we were in the same place now that she played over in Mexico, but the second the world cup started, it felt like we had never been apart. Not in a romantic way, but in terms of friendship. We'd known each other for over a decade, and we'd been more than friends for some of that time, but we both realized that we were meant to be just friends a long time ago. I met Isy and she moved on.
The World Cup had been stressful, coming back from a long-term injury, traveling to the other side of the world, and the fact that we as a team had so much pressure on us to do well, it was overwhelming and Jenni was feeling the same, so we inevitably grew closer, but at no point was it more than just friendship... until after the final when the emotions clearly got the better of both of us and we made a huge mistake.
Flashback
Jenni and I were alone in the locker room. Somehow, given all of the excitement and activity we were on our own, the rest of the team were in the shower, having pictures taken or doing media out in the tunnel.
We were sat next to each other in front of our respective lockers talking about what we had just done, we'd won the World Cup, we had achieved our biggest dream, the one thing had been talking about ever since we first joined Barca all of those years ago and we were both buzzing with excitement and emotion.
"I can't believe we just did that, we just won the World Cup..."
"I can't believe it either" I said, shaking my head in disbelief as I looked at the trophy that had been placed in the centre of the room.
"I'm so glad that we got to do this together... When I saw that you'd got injured, I thought you wouldn't get here and I was so heartbroken for you."
"I thought the same, it doesn't feel real, to be honest. I feel like I'm going to wake up any minute and this will all have just been a dream"
"It's not a dream Ale, you're here... we're here. World champions..." Jenni said, smiling widely, before reaching for the medal that was hanging from my neck, both of us looking down at it before returning our gaze to one another.
I felt her slowly move her face closer to mine, placing her hand on the bench beside me. I had a sense of what was about to happen, but I didn't stop her.
I should have stopped her.
"I didn't realize how much I'd missed you, but I have, these last few weeks have been-" Jenni spoke softly, her dark eyes staring into mine.
"I've missed you too"
"It's been like the good old days" Jenni whispered as she glanced down at my lips, wetting hers with her tongue, before slowly leaning in closer.
"I-"
Before I could continue, her lips were on mine and her hand was on my waist, it felt familiar. Jenni had been my rock when we were together all those years ago, through the hard times when I first joined Barca and she'd been my rock throughout the tournament. It took me back to the moments that we'd shared together and I got caught up in the moment. I kissed her back, I intertwined my fingers in her freshly washed hair, and pulled her closer to me, but it was when she gripped my waist tighter, that I suddenly came to my senses, pulling my lips away from hers and pushing her away from me.
I'd fucked up, badly.
"Jenni, we can't- we can't do this. I'm married, I have a son." I snapped breathlessly, getting to my feet and pacing to the other side of the room as I covered my eyes with my hands.
"Ale, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just-"
"This never happened, ok?" I asked, the question clearly rhetorical as I continued without letting her respond.
"I'm married. I love Isy. Shit- I've fucked it all up... she'll never forgive me if she finds out about this. She'll take Jordi. I'll lose them both-"
"I won't tell anyone" Jenni interrupted my rambling, taking a step closer towards me.
"You're married, I'm seeing someone, we just got caught up in the moment that all... let's just forget about it"
"I need to go, they're waiting for me" I mumbled, grabbing my jacket and running out of the locker room as quickly as I could.
Isy was curled up on the sofa when I arrived home from the parade, her head resting on the cushioned arm, her limbs curled up close to her body as a blanket covered everything from her chin downwards. She looked small, smaller than she ever had and I hated that I'd made her like that.
"Hi" I spoke cautiously, as I stood in the doorway of the living room looking at her.
"Hi" she replied, returning my greeting in a more sarcastic tone as she sleepily sat upright.
"Is he asleep?" I asked, gesturing down the the baby monitor that sat on the coffee table in front of her.
"Yeah"
"Can I please explain?"
"You can, but I'm asking the questions." She said firmly, her eyes finally meeting mine and it became obvious that she had been crying when I walked in.
"When did it happen?"
"After the final, we were in the locker room on our own, and she kissed me"
"Did you kiss her back?" She quickly asked while pulling at her fingers, her vulnerable eyes staring directly at me for a moment before looking down at the floor.
"I pushed her off" I explained as I sat down on the opposite end of the sofa from her.
"That's not what I asked. You might have pushed her off eventually, but did you kiss her back? When her lips touched yours did you pull back straight away or did you return it? Did you pull her closer by the back of her neck like you do with me? Did you rest your forehead against hers as you caught your breath? What I'm asking is, did you enjoy kissing your ex before you remembered about your wife and son?"
I wasn't surprised by her wanting details, she'd most likely been imagining every possible situation in her head since the flight and she was desperate to know why I'd done this and how it had happened. If this situation was the other way around I would be furious, but Isy seemed in control, upset but not angry, and in a way it made me feel even more guilty.
"Isy..."
"Answer me, Ale," She said firmly.
"I got caught up in the moment, but it meant nothing."
"So you kissed her back then... fucking fantastic" She laughed sarcastically, getting to her feet and pacing back and forth across the room.
"I was so happy after the game. When you came into the stands it felt like we had you back. I had my wife and Jordi had his Mama again, but you were just overcompensating. You were trying to hide your guilt, weren't you?"
"I didn't want to hurt you"
"It's a bit late for that..."
"I need you to leave" she said quietly.
"Cariño, please..."
"I need you to go and stay with your Mum or Albs... I just can't have you here right now, I can't even look at you. We're married Ale, we have a son... the most perfect little boy in the whole world and you go and do this"
"I don't want to leave things like this"
"I need you to go, I need to sit with this for a bit before I do anything that I regret, so please just give me a bit of space. You can come over and see Jordi tomorrow, ok?"
"Ok" I nodded, before getting to my feet and heading towards the hallway.
"Can I go and give him a kiss before I go?" I turned back to ask, gesturing towards the stairs.
"You don't need to ask... no matter what's going on between us, you are still his Mama and I'll never get in the way of that"
"I love you, you know that right?"
"I thought that I did, but I don't know anymore... you haven't exactly been making me feel very loved recently"