Minho and Jisung had been in a relationship for a while now. But it just didn't seem to be quite right. The older never really showed much affection towards Han, which made him feel neglected.
It wasn't like that all the time. Going back, when they just started going on dates one year ago, they would always cling to each other, hug and leave occasional pecks. All of their friends always complained how they would stick to their lover and not move a bit without them.
Though after a few months it started slowly fading away. Their first big argument seemed to be that breaking point, but the younger never fully understood what the problem was. He actually didn't even fully remember that day.
Minho was a busy man. He worked hard and earned as much. At first Han was happy that he didn't need to work, because the older would provide for them, but now he wished he could work too, just so the other would show up at home earlier and spend more time with him. They lived together, though wouldn't even see each other on some days. When Lee would come back the younger would be asleep already, and when he left in the morning, the one would be still sleeping. The man would buy him presents all the time "to fulfil the time apart". It didn't work like that for the boy and he said it, they even had a few small arguments about it, but would make up quickly. So, as a conclusion, it wasn't the happiest relationship.
Jisung loved Minho with his whole heart. He always did his best to keep the other happy and let him relax when at home. He never had a single thought of being jealous of the older, he never questioned the one closing the door to his room and spending the evening there, he never thought of leaving him. Until his friends started ringing the alarm. They told him how this is not okay, how he gotta leave the one and other stuff like that. At the start, he didn't want to listen and would argue back, but then he began considering:
What if they're right?
What if it's true?
What if they know better?
And just like that our Hanji turned into an anxious overthinker. He would spend hours thinking about the man, about their relationship, about all the different paths it could take. He even cried a lot of times about this, he couldn't bear the thought that the other doesn't love him and they will break up at some point. Though he didn't want to share his thoughts with Minho.
Their interactions weren't always at their lowest, they would go out for dinner at least once a week or go shopping together, they would never take off their promise rings. Yet, despite that, it didn't feel exactly like a relationship, they had dialogues as if they're classmates or colleagues, maybe friends. It was as if they had reached the top of the mountain way too quickly, so now they had fallen back down, to the stage where they were just awkward friends.
Right now Jisung was sitting at a lecture in university. He wasn't paying attention, he was drawing his lover's portrait right in the middle of his notes. His head was full of memories and pictures of the man.
His cat-like eyes...
His pretty nose...
The soft hair...
The strong hands...
"Han! Hey, Han!!", - Jeongin whispered aggressively, to get the male's attention: "Are you daydreaming again?". The one turned his head lazily, reluctantly interrupting his activity.
"Yeah, I'm drawing.. Minho hyung is so beautiful.. too bad I haven't seen him since yesterday's morning", - he sighed, it was truly sad to think about this.
"Aw.. I'm sorry about this. Man, does he even love you?", - the younger said with a frown. Oh dear, he should've been more careful with his words.
Jisung feels a lump form in his throat. He swallows thickly, trying to ignore the tears building up. He doesn't answer anything, turning back to his paper. Jeongin didn't understand that gesture, asking another question: "Are you alright, Han?"
"Yea", - the boy mumbles, a drop traitorously rolling down his cheek.
He quickly wipes it with his sleeve, standing up and leaving class. The teacher, noticing the state he's in, let him out with a small nod.
Jisung rushed to the bathroom, tears streaming down. As many times he would rub them off, they would stream even harder. He went to the sink, washed his face with cold water, though when he looked in the mirror, he sobbed once again.
No, this couldn't be true. He couldn't have even considered such a thing. But what if? Others, who see from a different perspective, couldn't just come up with things out of nowhere, right?
The reflection looked miserable, which made Han cry even more violently. He bit his lip to suppress his sobs, wiped his eyes every second, but it didn't help. His face was red, his eyes puffy. He needed to go home, he couldn't spend the day crying in the university's bathroom. The bell rang, hitting the temples hard and echoing through the head. Jisung scrunched at the loud sound. He washed his face once again, controlling his breathing as much as possible. Leaving the room, he ran into a few people, hearing them whisper. This made the boy's anxiety peak, he fiddled with his fingers, counting to ten and breathing deeply. He went back into the class, getting his things. Before he left, the teacher stopped him: "You can go, Jisung. I see you're having a hard time right now. I'll tell the other teachers", - she smiled sweetly, patting him gently. Han gave a small smile back and bowed, as he left the room.
He walked into the house. It was deadly silent. He started undressing, hanging his coat. But it didn't hold, falling down with a dull sound. This is all it took for Jisung to break down again. Tears ran down, as he picked up the clothing and tried hanging it again. He then walked into the kitchen to grab himself some water, maybe that'll help? Though he couldn't drink more than a third of the glass, deciding to take it to his and Minho's shared bedroom.
Jisung didn't know what time it was, all he remembers is how he had been crying for a while now, trying to stop and go to sleep. But every dream turned into a nightmare within minutes.
Minho returned from work, not having much to do in the office. He walked into the house and noticed a jacket laying on the floor, as well as the bag left in the middle of the corridor. This didn't seem like Han, he would never leave his stuff like that... The man quickly walked around the first floor, not finding the younger. He then walked up, hearing some small noises, that got louder, as he approached their bedroom. He opens the door, that reveals Jisung sitting on their bed. The boy's hair was messy, his face pale with red eyes and cheeks, his appearance screamed that he had been crying.
The older felt his heart drop at the sight. He rushed to the one, crouching down in front of the bed.
"What happened, Jisung-ah? What is wrong?", - he looked desperately at Han, waiting for an answer.
At first the smaller refused to keep eye contact, but when their eyes finally met, something clicked inside, like the strings of his heart were torn apart. Tears of resentment streamed down his face, burning the honey skin on his cheeks. He let out sob after sob, his breathing becoming ragged, because of the lack of oxygen. His grip on the sweater was hard, he was trying his best not to cling onto the man.
Minho's eyes were full of worry, a storm of emotions inside. The younger couldn't get a single word out and that caused his mind to go straight to the worst scenarios possible. He placed a hand onto Jisung's knee, caressing it with his thumb, the other one reaching out to cup his cheek. Though the boy was quick to get away from the touch, not letting the hand settle on his face.
"Could you, please, tell me what happened? I'm really worried", - the older stated seriously, yet being soft with his voice.
"Why....?", - the only thing that he could force out at the moment, and even that was barely audible, - "Why did you put me through this? Do I really deserve it?", - he was still whispering.
The tears wouldn't stop for a second, all he could see with his clouded vision was Minho sitting in front of him. He was still as beautiful as he always is, even though he was just a silhouette. His mind was filled with rage and grudge, yet there was still space for adoration.
"What have I done or not done to be treated like this? Why do you not love me, Minho? Why? Why? Why?", - he gradually raised his voice to the point where he was yelling, - "You've changed so much since last year... this is not the man that I fell in love with.. What happened? Am I n-not enough?", - he choked on a sob at the end of the sentence.
The state of Jisung was frightening. His eyes were so red and puffy, every tear hurt a lot, starting to feel like his eyeballs are melting, his lips twitching at every word, chest rising up and down unsteadily, hands and whole body shaking violently, his skin lost it's colour and was now very cold, heat concentrating in his cheeks and ears.
Minho knew what he was talking about, he knew exactly what the other was upset about.
"I-", - he started, but Han didn't let him finish.
"I know what you were about to say, and it's not true! I don't see it, hyung! Love is not about gifts, it's not about the status, it's not about living together!", - he stopped for a second, catching his breath, - "I just don't understand why... Why can't you just love me...", - his voice was quiet now, not having the strength to scream anymore. He looked down crying, salty droplets landing on his hands.
The older sat there quietly. This sight broke his heart, as if every tear fell on the glass surface of it with a stone. He felt his eyes start to water too. No, he couldn't handle this.
"Look... Please, let me explain", - he reached his hand out, once again trying to cup the one's cheek. Jisung now didn't flinch at his actions. The man put both hands on his face, wiping the tears gently, and lifted it, so he'll be looking at him.
"I love you. I really do, with my whole heart. And I'm extremely sorry for what I have done, I understand how much that hurt. I-", - his voice cracked, as he looked to the side, - "There are no excuses for this... But... There was a reason for me to act like that. Remember when we had our first argument?"
No, Jisung couldn't remember most of it, though he shook his head "yes".
"That day, you told me that you're getting sick and tired of me, of me always being clingy... You said that if I won't let you be from time to time, then it'll be over", - a tear did roll down his face, it was hard to talk about this, - "So I... I thought that it'll be better for me to suppress myself.."
He took a shaky breath in, forcing his voice to settle.
"Please.. Please, forgive me, Jisungie. I didn't mean to hurt you.. I really didn't. I promise that everything will be as it was before. I'll do my best to make it up for you", - his words were sincere.
"Minho....", - he drew his eyebrows together and pouted, - "I don't remember saying that... I'm sorry", - he started crying again, bringing himself closer and resting his head on the older's shoulder.
The man wrapped his hands around his torso, lifting him up and walking to the armchair beside them. He caressed the boy's back, drawing circles on it. He left a few soft pecks on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, hyung...", - he said, sniffling after.
"I know, and I'm sorry too. We both didn't do the right thing, but now we're sorry for what happened and from this moment we promise not to do anything like that again", - his voice was calming and gentle.
When he felt Han pulling away, he loosened his grip. They held eye contact, the older was moving the messy hair away from his face, resting his hand on Jisung's jaw after. Minho forced out a small smile, the younger just sniffling once again in response.
"I love you so much, sweetheart", - the man said quietly.
"I.. I love y-you too, hyu-hyung", - he moved closer, making their foreheads and noses touch.
A few seconds passed, before the boy connected their lips shyly. The kiss was soft and full of love, the salty taste of tears still present. It was like a breath of fresh air after you'd been choking in the fire. Jisung felt warmth coming back to him, lingering through the kiss. And just like they forgave each other, all the problems and resentments evaporating.
~
A/n: this is something new! I feel like it came out well, considering it's my first experience😋
The next story (maybe even a few) will probably have more heated/smutty content, so prepare🚨
Love y'all💟