Severus had loved Lily. Even in her death he loved her but when he met avalon everything changed. His heart changed. His patronas however was already set to match lily. It wouldnt change just because he fell out of love with her.
But staring back at Harry laying on the grounf he had never thought of how disappointed lily would be more. He didnt think of lily. She didnt cross his mind. He had too much on his mind but harry casting his own spell at him brought him back to his own years at hogwarts where lilys new friends with those awful gryffindors turned her against him. Belittled him and bullied him. If severus was honest with himself he was disappointed in lily too.
But he couldnt hate a dead girl. So he tried to hate their offspring. The boy that severus pushed away from the start because lily never wanted severus to be apart of their life.
Avalon did.
"Severus!" Avalon declared pitifully. He held her kissing her cheek and neck and lips holding tightly to her.
"I'm so sorry my love."
The way he clung to her like a man on the edge of losing it had her extracting herself from his grip and turning in his arms, pulling him into her tightest embrace. Just like before it all went to shit, his arms wrapped around her, holding her almost too tight. But she didn't care. If he held her so tight, she took her last breath in his arms, then so be it.
She loved the way he held her and made her feel safe. He loved the way she accepted him and encouraged him to be better than before. Severus loved that she saw him and never asked for anything else.
"I was so worried my love." Avalon whispered against him.
"Im so sorry." He kept repeating
"Albus is dead." She added.
"I know. I... I killed him."
"What?" Avalon barely got the word out.
"Draco was assigned to do it." Severus remarked. "I couldnt let him. Albus knew it. He asked me to do it."
"Oh severus," she breathed back burying her face in his chest.
"Im a monster."
"You could never be a monster." Avalon corrected.
"I killed him, my eldest friend... he begged me to." Severus whispered into Avalon, she wiped at his eyes. "I hate myself."
"I'm so sorry honey, I wish I could take this pain from you." Avalon assured stroking his hair. "But we.... we have to think about the living. What is Voldemort up to? What does he have you doing?"
"I'm going to be the headmaster of hogwarts." Severus remarked. But he wasnt happy about it.
"Oh?" Avalon questioned. "They are going to... allow that?"
"I have to put on a show, maybe it would be best if i sent you and the kids back to the states."
"I would be worried constantly about you." Avalon corrected. "Sevy... you wanted me closer to protect me, dont push me away now."
"it's different now. Black was one thing but this... he's too powerful."
"He is just another wizard." Avalon corrected. "And you have seen to forgotten the power a muggle holds." Avalon declared. Severus smiled weakly back at her.
"What power is that?"
"Ambition. Bravery. Stupidity when it comes to the one you love most." Avalon informed him. "Sevy... you and me and the kids. We are in this together."
"I have to take him down but I dont know how to... without..."
"What?"
"He split his soul. He can't be killed unless we destroy every piece of him that he split." Severus remarked.
"And you think some of those pieces are hidden in... hogwarts?"
"yes." Severus agreed.
"THen I will look for them." Avalon declared. "I will find them, you just tell me what they are and if anyone asks well I'm always getting lost they wont question it." Avalon assured. "We try and kill the pieces of him so you can kill that monster. He is the monster severus. Not you."
"Are you sure?" Severus countered.
"Positive." Avalon agreed. "Its the only way our children will be safe." Severus nodded, she was right, of course she was. "We take him down, together."
"Together." Severus agreed sealing it with a kiss.
"To killing the monster." Avalon declared grabbing tight to his hand.
"To killing the monster."