Chapter 39 - Armistice
Levi blinks. He sees you staring at Valis in horror, terrified to your bone, but still, it's undeniably you.
Levi doesn't know what's happening, but he immediately rushes to grab your waist before triggering his wires, flying you to safety to a higher tree branch.
How? How did this happen? How are you not a Pure Titan?
Levi was sure you had consumed the wine. You told him yourself you were going to have a sip. He saw for himself that you had drunk into that cup. Was it a stroke of luck?
Luck or not, Levi decided to put those thoughts aside for now. His heart clenches at the sight of Valis in his Pure Titan form, staring at him with that empty expression.
Valis... are you still there?
All of his comrades, turned into Titans. Is this what hell looks like?
—
You let out a dreadful scream, letting it rip and burn your throat. What's happening right now must be some kind of nightmare. A sick joke. A rendition of what hell must be.
You watch as Valis turns into a Titan, and from a distance, Gabriel and Josef.
They've somehow ingested Zeke's spinal fluid, the only way Eldians could turn into Titans.
Was it the wine? If it was the wine, why didn't you turn into a Titan just like them?
Zeke Jaeger is escaping with three Titans, leaving you and Levi to deal with the aftermath.
You feel tears start to fill your eyes as you watch Gabriel and Josef lose the last strands of their humanity and turn into thoughtless, Pure Titans. You were just talking with them earlier and a few days ago, laughing over a bonfire.
You'd never get to share medical stories with them again, or hear Gabriel's unfunny potty jokes, or Josef's silly postures whenever he tries to take someone's temperature. You'd never speak to them again, and Josef will never see his sister again.
Your screams turned into hysterical cries. Your blade hangs heavy by your hands at the realisation you have to be the one to end their lives.
Levi says something to you, you think it's a command to get behind him from the way he's gesturing to you. Two Titans are lunging themselves at Levi from below, and he quickly makes a move to end them. From their features, it looked like Hanna and Freud.
Another Titan's hand reaches out to grab you. It's Strauss, he had offered you the cup of wine a few days ago.
Levi is still dealing with Freud's Titan, he won't have time to make it back to you. You press on your gas and trigger your wires, aiming your hooks at Strauss.
"I'm sorry," you sobbed as you wound back your arms, cutting through Strauss' Titan hands and then, dealing the killing blow on his nape.
You still have not forgotten the steps, even after years of not killing a single Titan. As Strauss falls to the ground, you whisper a prayer, hoping he'd rest in peace and that he won't hate you for having to be the one to end his life.
No one deserves to be turned into a Titan, no one deserves to die like this.
Another Titan walks under your branch. It's Gilbert, he made you all an amazing stew by the bonfire a few days ago. You deal another blow to his nape, shedding more tears in the process.
Levi has already cut through the napes of ten. He's watching you closely, slashing the hands of any Titan that tries to reach out to grab you.
You watched as their Titans slowly decomposed into steam and then, nothing. Among the fallen Titans, you recognise Werner and Zack, they helped you carry medical supplies to your tents and had such kind smiles.
Suddenly, a Titan appears next to you. It was so quick and its presence so quiet, you hardly noticed it. The crown of red hair and green eyes, this Titan was undeniably Josef Olbrich.
"Josef, I'm so sorry," you choked on your tears. "I couldn't be... a good Section Commander in the end."
Josef swats at you, but you evade it with a quick pull of your trigger and wires. His green eyes are staring emptily at you, and you think he's still in there... somewhere. Begging you to help him, to save him.
Begging you to turn him back to human, to be your squad member again, and to be a doctor once more.
Begging you to let him see his sister, one last time.
"I'm so sorry, I couldn't save you," you cried and screamed. "Josef, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!"
When Josef lunges at you, you couldn't react fast enough. Or perhaps, your soul couldn't bring yourself to end his life.
You hear Levi screaming your name.
There was a flash of green and silver, and the shrill sound of slashing bladed and the cutting of flesh.
Josef falls to the ground, and his body begins to steam. Levi lands next to you, checking for injuries and shaking you back to reality.
"Fight!" Levi yells at you, the grip of his hands on your shoulders hard as steel. "You must survive, fight!"
You blinked back tears.
"I know this is insane and cruel, but our comrades are gone!" Levi grits his teeth, his fingers digging into your skin. "They've already died the moment Zeke screamed, we are not the ones killing them, you understand me?"
You quickly nodded.
"Good, fight with me, or stay behind where it's safe!" Levi releases his hands from you, and reattaches a new pair of blades into his swords.
Right. You had to fight. You promised Levi to survive and live. You silently thanked Levi for snapping you back to reality, if it weren't for him, you would've gone mentally insane in this predicament.
With tears still clinging to your eyes, you jumped to the next Titan.
It was Gabriel, he was the best at sutures and helped rescue you years ago when you were taken away by Johanne and the MPs. He was a reliable team member and a great doctor.
—
When Levi has finished dealing the blows with the last Titan, he takes off after Zeke. He tells you to bring two horses and a cart, and chase after him. You bring your Military Doctor kit and attach it to your gear, just in case.
You want to fall to the ground and cry. You want to run, scream, shout. The world is so cruel. But all you could do right now was to swallow your fear and devastation, and bring the horses and cart to Levi as instructed. You remind yourself that Levi is still alive and that he needs you, and that was all that mattered right now.
On the way to Levi, you churn out all the possibilities on why you didn't turn just like the others did. You should have been a Titan right now, but by a stroke of luck, you were still human. Despite being slightly shell-shocked at the moment, you're one hundred percent sure you drank the same wine everyone did.
Levi is an exception since he's an Ackerman, even if he did drink the wine, he's immune to it. But what about you?
Could it be because you only had a few sips while everyone else drank a full cup or more? However, you don't think quantity was the factor here, because it still contained Zeke's spinal fluid regardless. Freud only had a sip as well and he still turned.
Was it because you were standing next to Levi, an Ackerman, and his Ackerman blood had some kind of effect on people in his vicinity? That's not possible either, because Valis was also nearby but he still turned.
Then what could it be? You knew you could not be an Ackerman, as you never had the kind of awakening Levi and Mikasa experienced, and neither did you have superhuman strength.
Perhaps there was something in your system that was different from a normal Eldian's, as Zeke's spinal fluid only affected Eldian biology. But what could it be? You knew you were perfectly normal, had it been something you consumed that caused you to have this immunity effect? Or something that altered your biology?
At that moment, something clicked in your mind. The Siloprazole tablets you've been consuming for three years — that was the only major change to your diet and routine. Consuming Siloprazole technically did alter your body as it learnt to build the missing proteins that you needed to fight the disease.
In those tablets, one of the ingredients....
Hallucinon. That strange chemical your professor had alerted you about. Professor Emeritus had previously mentioned that Hallucinon was known to have potent healing effects and the ability to construct new properties in the body.
That was enough to alter your biology, wasn't it?
You don't understand Hallucinon enough to know its full effects on your body, nor did you know how exactly it was linked to you not turning into a Titan. However, you do know there is a possibility that this has to do with giving you some kind of special immunity against Zeke's spinal fluid.
How it worked, you had no idea.
You swallowed down your thoughts for now, and focused on retrieving Levi.
—
"The Jaegerists are nearby, I can hear some commotion in the main road ahead. I'll get one of them to eat this filthy scumbag," Levi scowls. "You don't deserve to live."
"How did you... survive?" Zeke groans weakly and painfully, looking dead straight at you.
On a carriage pulled by two horses, you ride with Levi and Zeke. Well, not so much for Zeke, who is currently writhing on the carriage with his limbs chopped off and steaming. A thunder spear is lodged in his abdomen, just in case he tries to transform or escape.
He glares at you, wondering how you survived the scream and not turn into a Pure Titan like he anticipated. He was also sure you drank the wine.
"Are you... also an Ackerman?" Zeke croaks out.
"You don't deserve to talk," you seethe at him. Whatever fear you felt at the sight of Zeke days earlier had morphed into pure hatred after what he pulled. "What a show you put on earlier."
"Don't tell me... you Paradis islanders got your hands on the anti-Titan serum..."
Levi shuts him up with another slice to his regrowing arm, eliciting a loud scream of pain from Zeke. You were unfazed by the gory scene in front of you. As a doctor in the Survey Corps, you had seen nearly everything. What disturbed you more was the look in his eyes. It was eerily maniacal.
Of course he would be, with all the slicing and chopping Levi did, followed by his endless stream of hateful comments and threats.
"What anti-Titan serum?" you asked, but Zeke keeps his mouth shut.
"Tell me, what is an anti-Titan serum?" you shouted, pressing for answers upon seeing his reluctance to give you information.
"Answer her, shitface," Levi threatens, stabbing Zeke in his arm. Zeke groans in pain, but refuses to budge.
Levi was furious with what Zeke pulled earlier. Furious that he had Zeke made him kill his own comrades and put you in danger. Furious that he had not seen this coming. He blamed himself for allowing the wine, and letting his comrades drink them without hesitation. He thought he was letting them have something nice in exchange for this arduous mission in the forest, and yet he only plunged them to their deaths in the hands of Zeke.
Levi still didn't understand why you didn't transform. You had briefly mentioned your hypothesis to him earlier, which involved the Hallucinon ingredient in your tablets, but he still isn't sure.
Zeke was rambling on and on about something. About his past mentor. That's when the maniacal look in his eyes suddenly grew dark and desperate. Something in your instinct tells you to run and get the fuck away from here as fast as you can.
You eyed the thunder spear, and back at Zeke's expression.
No... he wouldn't.
Your instincts are screaming at you at this point. You grab Levi's wrist, your eyes wide and full of alarm.
"Levi!" you scream at him, and you shoot your wires at a nearby tree. At the same time, Zeke screams.
You grab onto Levi, and pull the trigger, and you aren't able to get very far when you hear the click of the thunder spear.
It's too late.
Suddenly, there was a deafening explosion, and you were both still caught in the blast.
The blast sends you both flying across the plains, hurtling at full speed. Hot air emanates in waves, burning your hair, clothes, and skin. Shrapnel explodes, sending bits and pieces flying everywhere. It was hot, and it hurt. Everything hurts.
You and Levi hit the ground with a crash, all the air in your lungs knocked out and your head spins as it comes in contact with the ground. Your hands go weak, Levi loosens from your grip, and he goes tumbling across the field as well.
Your vision is swimming, and you feel nothing but pain searing on your arms and back. You feel something wet on your head, and you think it's blood.
It hurts.
It hurts... It hurts!
And then, the world goes dark.
—
You are tired. You are so tired.
This is death.
At least, for a moment, you think it must be death.
The world is cold, dark, and reeks of... blood?
If you were dead, you wouldn't be able to smell.
You're alive.
You cannot move.
Your limbs are heavy, and you want to sleep.
But then, your stubborn pulse fights back, your heart tirelessly pumps blood to your system, and your lungs are fighting to fill itself.
The darkness breaks and light stings your pupils.
I'm... alive!
Although blurry, you feel your vision coming back. You hear someone shaking you awake, and whispering your name.
When you open your eyes, you see Hange.
Hange? When did Hange get here?
Hange is calling your name, and your consciousness finally gathers its last pieces.
"Wake up, you and Levi are in danger," she shakes you.
"What's..." you started, but immediately Hange covers your mouth with her hand. Behind Hange is... Floch? A group of Jaegerists are gathered around something in the background.
Was that... Zeke? That bastard's alive?!
You remembered him pulling the trigger on the thunder spear, causing you and Levi to get caught in the explosion. You had seen it coming and tried to escape with Levi, but you weren't far away enough to completely escape the blast.
You feel pain, hot searing pain on your arms and back. Burn injuries. How bad?
"We need to get away from here," Hange whispers. "Can you move? How bad do you think your injuries are?"
You try to move your limbs and shift around a little. You don't sense any broken limbs, and you feel like you can move. "I can move, nothing's broken."
"Good, we need to get out of here, or the Jaegerists will kill you both for sure."
"L... Levi?" you mumble, fearing for the worst.
"Levi's alive, but he's badly injured and unconscious. Can you swim?"
You nod weakly.
"Good, you see that river next to you? On my command, you swim with me okay? I'm taking Levi with me, dive in and follow me closely," Hange instructs.
You're not sure what's going on, but from reading the situation, you could tell it required desperate measures. If you had to swim despite nearly getting blown to bits by a thunder spear, so be it.
The Jaegerists seem fully distracted by Zeke, so Hange gives you a nod before grabbing onto Levi and diving into the river. Taking a deep breath, you jump into the river with Hange, and hear muffled gunshots from above. The cool water of the river shocks you awake, adrenaline pumping through your veins.
It was difficult to see where you were going underwater, and Hange was just one big blob in front of you. Your limbs were screaming with exhaustion and pain, but you had to keep going. Heart pounding and breath running out, you continued to swim with all your might.
Hange resurfaced first and dragged Levi to higher ground. You followed suit, taking a deep breath after sticking your head out of the river.
You collapsed immediately on the grass, but Hange tells you to keep going. With the last bit of strength you have left, you crawl into a forested area with Hange, full of shrubs, tall grass, and trees. The perfect hiding spot.
You take a look at Levi properly for the first time since the blast, and you could almost cry.
A gash ran across the right side of his face, and his left arm had several lacerations as well. Shrapnel was embedded in many areas of his body, including his face.
You examined the rest of his body. He doesn't seem to have any broken limbs or fractures, but you can't tell for sure until he's conscious and tries to move.
You studied his heartbeat, pulse, and breathing. His pulse was weak and his breathing was slow. His pupils appear normal.
"Levi...." you whimpered, seeing how battered and bruised he is.
"He was bleeding a lot more earlier, the river had washed away most of the blood," Hange said. "What happened out there? I knew I heard the sound of a thunder spear going off."
"It was Zeke. In the forest, he... he screamed. Everyone in the Titan forest, all thirty turned into Pure Titans," you explained, hands shaking. "It was the wine! They drank the wine and it had his spinal fluid."
"Damn it... so it's too late. We also just found out about Zeke's spinal fluid in the wine, Niccolo told us. Many of the higher-ups drank the wine, including Commander Pixis. It could spell for trouble in the future," Hange shakes her head. "I'm so sorry about what happened to your team in the forest... I should have seen through their lie about freezing up when ingesting spinal fluid. But wait, how come you're not turned? Were you far away from the scream?"
"I have no idea either, it's a long explanation," you said. Suddenly you feel a warm trickle down the left side of your forehead. Blood.
"Alright, save it for later. We need to take a look at your injuries," Hange beckons you to come closer to her.
You found out you had a gash on the left side of your forehead. You didn't notice it earlier due to the adrenaline and swimming in the river had washed away most of the blood. It wasn't a deep gash, but it's bleeding quite a lot.
You've got burns on your arms and your back. Several lacerations and gashes on your legs and back from shrapnel. Your burns weren't too serious, but it still caused you pain. You and Levi were caught in the blast pretty badly, but Levi was unlucky enough to catch a sharp piece of flying wood on his face.
You and Hange got to work on unconscious Levi first, whose injuries were more serious. Your medical first-aid kit was still intact on your gear, albeit its interior slightly wet. Thank god you always had your kit with you at all times.
You cleaned Levi's face with alcohol, and skillfully made the stitches as light and as gentle as possible to minimise scarring. The right side of his face was now wrapped up with bandages. You slowly picked out the shrapnel and pieces of wood on his face, and bandaged them with iodine.
You checked his eyes and luckily, they were both safe from shrapnel. After undressing his top, you realised Levi also suffered burns on the back of his neck and arms, which you remedied with some burn cream from your kit.
When you were done with Levi, Hange helped you with your injuries, cleansing your wounds with stitching up the gash on your forehead. Luckily, you had a few shots of morphine injections in your kit, which saved you from a lot of pain and writhing. You recalled doing your own stitches on your abdomen years ago with Levi in an abandoned hut in this very same forest. That was a nightmare.
Suddenly, you hear shouting nearby, and the sound of hoofbeats.
Jaegerists!
They must be searching for the three of you after you made your escape. Hange leaps into action, picking up a rifle that she stole from one of the Jaegerists earlier.
You crouch down and hide with Levi behind tall grass. With a pained expression, she hides behind the trees and shoots them down. Bullets fall from Hange's rifle and onto the ground with a clink. A stray tear escapes Hange's eye of having to shoot her own Survey Corps members, but it had to be done.
She steals two horses from the dead Jaegerists, along with their weapons, gear, and supplies.
Once the pursuers are gone, Hange lights a small bonfire, and you both take off your clothes to dry them near the fire. At this point, none cared that you were both only dressed in your underclothes. It would be bad to catch hypothermia with your dripping wet clothes in this situation.
As you sat with Hange near the fire, you recalled the events in the forest and explained the possible theories on why you didn't turn into a Titan. It was a long story, as you had to tell her about your medical condition and the medicine your professor made.
According to Hange, it was most likely due to the Hallucinon ingredient. Hange suspects it could be a man made chemical from Marley, especially after hearing that you saw a similar-looking blue liquid in a cargo truck back in Liberio and the way Zeke mentioned an "anti-Titan serum" earlier.
Hange explains that Zeke's spinal fluid was famous for being used as a war weapon in Marley, perhaps they conjured up an anti-Titan serum to safeguard Eldians involved in their mission.
"But how did my professor get his hands on Hallucinon?" you muttered to yourself.
Hange shrugs. "Perhaps he kept some secrets he didn't want you to know."
"Perhaps he did," you said, thinking about the way he was so secretive about its origins.
"You're very lucky," Hange smiles. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be alive right now, and we would have lost you."
You also explained in further detail how you managed to pull Levi away from Zeke mere seconds away from the thunder spear exploding. Hange said you were both extremely lucky to have only suffered these injuries, and if you didn't react that quickly, you wouldn't have survived the explosion.
Hange then explains that the Jaegerists had demanded her to bring them to Zeke's location, as Eren wanted to meet him. On the way to the Titan forest, she heard the sound of the thunder spear going off, which the Jaegerists didn't recognise.
"We should take the horses and go back inside in the Titan forest," Hange says. "Our pursuers are gone and the Jaegerists should be back in the Walls now that they have Zeke, and we can get food supplies and shelter there."
"Yeah," you nodded, "let's go."
—
The sound of metal gently clanging stirs you awake. You're cold, hungry, but at least you're well-rested.
"Ah, you're awake," Hange says. "You didn't sleep for very long."
"How long was I out?" you muttered, your voice surprisingly hoarse. You coughed a few times. It was dark outside, no wonder you felt cold. A sharp pain seared through your forehead, your stitches were starting to burn.
"Three hours. Come, have some stew. I found plenty of rations in your tents," Hange beckons towards the pot she's stirring. You glance over at Levi, who's still asleep.
"Alright," you said, and joined Hange for some stew. After finishing the stew, you both set up two tents to camp for the night, and slowly transferred Levi into one of them.
You told her you'd take over watching so that she could get some rest, and she crawled inside her tent to sleep.
You were reassessing your condition, checking for arm and leg movement, when suddenly, you feel liquid dripping out from in between your legs and staining your underwear. You froze.
Could it be... your courses had come?
Hurriedly, you checked your underwear and found a small spot of blood.
Strange, you haven't had your courses in a few months. You didn't pay it much heed since it was normal for women in the military to have irregular courses due to the intensive physical training, lack of nutrition, and stress. Some stopped having their courses at all. You stuff a clean cloth into your pants and decide to keep a close watch on your flow.
When you're done, you slowly crawl over to Levi's tent to check on him.
Bruises are starting to form on his body where he made impact with the ground. The right side of his face is swollen and covered with bandages, blood already seeping through the white netted fabric. It's time to change his bandages.
You gently replaced his bloodied bandages with new ones, and disinfected his other wounds again just to be safe. He's battered and cut all over. The sight makes your heart clench and your eyes water. You hated seeing him this way. After what you both had to do in the Titan forest, you didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve this.
You gently caress your hand against the unbandaged side of his face, and you leaned in to kiss his forehead gently.
Please, be well soon.
A stray, glimmering tear falls on Levi's forehead and it trickles down the side of his temple.
Quietly, in the dark, you cried for the loss of your comrades. For Gabriel and Josef.
—
"What do we do about this? We can't possibly stop Zeke," Hange mutters to you. "We can only leave it Armin and Commander Pixis."
Several hours have passed and you're still out here in the Titan forest, recovering and wondering what you should do next.
"I'm starting to feel like I've failed as a Commander. Scratch that, this isn't the first time
I've felt this way," Hange sighs.
You offer her a cup of warm tea with herbs. "It isn't your fault, none of us saw this coming."
"Say, what if we just run away? Just you, me, and Levi. The chain of command is gone, I'm no longer anyone's commander. Three of us could hide away in a rural place, start anew, and just... live the rest of our lives quietly." Hange said, and you think she's actually being serious.
"If I'm being honest, that doesn't sound like a bad idea right now," you sigh, using your cape to shelter your body from the cold.
You glance around at your surroundings. There's nothing but trees and shrubs, and darkness all around you. A million stars illuminate the night sky.
One second you're in the Titan forest, and suddenly, you were not.
You blinked and the sight in front of you had changed completely. You were in some kind of... sandy plain. There's a giant, glowing tree in the distance. You look for Hange and Levi frantically, and they're in the same, strange location as you are.
What is happening? You want to move and talk, but you can't.
Suddenly, you hear a voice in your head.
"To all the Subjects of Ymir..."
Wait... It sounded like it was coming from a distance instead. It was disorienting, the way the voice sounded like it came from all around you, but simultaneously, also in your head. It was Eren's voice, you realised. Seeing the look on Hange's face, she must be hearing it too.
"My name is Eren Jaeger. I'm using the power of the Founding Titan to address all Subjects of Ymir."
Your eyes widened. How is Eren able to do this? What happened in the Walls?
"I've undone the hardening of the walls on Paradis Island and all the titans entrapped within them have started marching."
Was it the mini-rumbling?
"My goal is to protect the people of Paradis, the place I was born and raised. However, the world wishes for the annihilation of the people of Paradis. Not just the people of this island, but until all of the Subjects of Ymir have been eliminated. I reject that wish. The Wall Titans shall trample every surface of the land outside of this island, until all lives existing there have been exterminated from this world."
Your heart pounds rapidly. The whole world? That wasn't in the plan-
And suddenly, you were back at the Titan forest again.
"Hange!" you exclaimed. "That was..."
"Eren," Hange gasps. "He has started the rumbling."
"He... he said he's going to destroy the world," you breathed out in panicked chokes.
"Eren... what have you done?" Hange grasps her head. "What happened with Zeke? He must have come in contact with him and activated the Founding Titan."
"What... what should we do?"
"Frankly, I don't know. I really... don't know."
There was a long silence between the two of you as you both processed Eren's declaration.
Soon, you start to feel... tremors? The ground is moving?
It's shaking.
You look up at the sky. It's unnaturally red and orange in colour. Ominous columns of smoke begin to rise to the sky.
The rumbling has begun.
Immediately, you think about your parents back home, as well as Professor Em. Since they live in Wall Sina, they should be safe from the Colossal Titans. You wonder how they're doing, and if they're worrying about you. The last time you sent a letter to your parents was the day you returned from Liberio and went off to the Titan forest.
You hear a rustle of fabric next to you, and a pained grunt. Levi has suddenly gained consciousness and is stirring awake. He mumbles your name and immediately, he tries to sit up.
"Levi! You shouldn't be sitting up!" you exclaimed, gently pushing him back down.
He seems happy to see you, relieved that you're safe beside him.
"What happened?" he groaned.
You and Hange explain the entire ordeal and how you got here.
"That Beast... the piece of shit. Where is he?" Levi mutters hoarsely. You immediately give him some water to drink.
"The Jaegerists are taking him to Shiganshina," Hange said.
"I screwed up. I didn't see that he was prepared to choose death," Levi says quietly. "I let him escape again."
"Forget about that, all that matters now is your survival and recovery," you look at Levi apologetically, taking his hand in yours and reassuring him. "Hange and I are here for you."
"Thank you..." Levi winces in pain. "I'm so glad you're safe. You somehow avoided getting turned into Titan and getting blown up by Zeke."
"I have my professor's tablets to thank," you smiled weakly.
"Do you still have more of those tablets?" Hange asked.
"I do, but it's in my office at the Survey Corps HQ." you replied.
"Is it possible to give the tablets to Hange and our team? Just in case Zeke tries something again," Levi asked.
"She could, but there's two problems," Hange said. "One, we don't know if it's safe to go back to HQ, the Jaegerists may still be gathered there. Two, she has been taking the pills for years and building new properties in her body during that time. We don't know if it will work the same with just a single dose."
"It's a gamble worth taking, Hallucinon could be similar to that anti-Titan serum Zeke mentioned," you mentioned. "But how do we get to the Survey Corps HQ?"
"Hold on, more importantly... Levi, I know you were asleep, but did you also get a vision and hear Eren's voice?" Hange asked.
"I did. I saw and heard him." Levi replied grimly.
You, Hange, and Levi shared a dark look and a silent moment together, wondering what two injured soldiers and a fallen Commander could do in this situation.
"Perhaps we could still make a run for it?" you half-joked.
"What are you talking about?" Levi asks groggily.
"I was just telling her we could all run away and start anew, pretend the rumbling isn't happening," Hange chuckles.
"And what would we have left if we ran?" Levi mutters.
"You're right, I suppose we can't," Hange sighs and sinks into the ground. "This massacre is wrong, and I want to give everything we got to stop it."
"But how...?" you say quietly.
"We gather allies," Hange said. "We should try to find Armin, Mikasa, and the others."
"Speaking of comrades, I think three of my Military Doctors should be on the way to the Titan forest to find us. I've ordered them to escape the Jaegerists from HQ and to come find me," you said. "Luca, Johanne, and Catarina."
"That's great, the more the merrier!" Hange exclaimed. "Maybe they'd have more information about where the others are."
Hange hooks up a carriage to a horse with you and Levi sitting inside it. Hange rides alongside you with another horse. It was difficult for you to move around with your burns and cuts, and everytime you moved a little too hastily, your head would spin and your forehead would ache.
You're in no shape for battle and yet, you must keep moving. After observing, it also turned out your courses had not come after all, for you did not observe heavy blood flow or more spotting afterwards. You wondered if you had injured an internal organ during the blast, but deemed it not possible, as you would be feeling immense pain in your abdomen right now.
At some point in time, the carriage comes to a halt and Hange tells you both to eat. She had gathered some canned food from the Titan forest, and handed you an opened can of tuna.
For some reason, upon smelling the scent of tuna, you feel a sickening feeling rising up your stomach and throat. You lurch forward, dry heaving.
"What's wrong?" Hange's eyes widened. "Bad tuna?"
"N-no," you gasped, trying your best to not vomit. "I feel sick for some reason."
Hange smells the tuna, and then tells Levi to smell it.
"It smells fine to me." Levi said.
"Me too," Hange said. "Didn't know you weren't a fan of tuna."
"I'm fine with tuna," you calmed yourself down. "I just felt nauseated all of a sudden. Don't worry about me."
You skip the tuna and opt for apples instead. You observe for more symptoms of nausea, but it doesn't come. Strange how you were triggered by tuna. Maybe it's the head injury causing you dizziness.
You feel the tremors grow stronger and suddenly, you can see the Colossal Titans in the distance. They were gigantic, ominous, and terrifying. Hundreds, no... thousands of them are marching towards the rest of the world.
"I see someone!" Hange alerts you.
You all look ahead and see a strange, old man with a balding buzz cut next to... The Cart Titan?!
"It's the Cart Titan, and the Marleyan general! What are they doing here? Wait, this is our chance to make allies, surely they are looking for ways to stop Eren Jaeger as well," Hange says to you and Levi, but she stops talking the moment she sees your frozen, intense expression.
Unbidden, you were taken back years ago when the Cart Titan clamped its mouth shut around the torso of your best friend, Mario Mueller, leaving him to his inevitable, grueling death. Rage courses through your veins, heat explodes in your face. You hated the woman standing in front of you, and hated the possibility of cooperating with her.
"She... she killed Mario," you trembled, keeping your eyes trained on the woman with black, wavy hair. So that's her human form. "That Cart Titan...! Years ago in Shiganshina, she killed him!"
When Hange sees you getting out of the cart and reaching for your swords, she is quick to stop the horses and call out your name. Levi's eyes widened, and he grabbed onto your wrist to stop you from acting recklessly.
"Hey, whoa, calm down!" Hange stammers. She had never seen you this furious before.
"We are not collaborating with them. She can't be our ally after what she did to..." you shook with anger.
Hange turns her gaze to the ground, as if she also just remembered what you went through in Shiganshina. Levi says nothing, fully understanding your grief and anger. However, Hange quickly regains her composure and holds onto your shoulders tightly.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you had to see Mario go that away, and what the Cart Titan did was horrible. But right now... I'm running out of options of what to do, and not enough allies to stop the rumbling," Hange grits her teeth, her eyes sallow and sympathetic.
"Then we'll find someone else, anyone but that Cart bitch."
"We need to stop this massacre, and we need all the strength we can get. If we can get the Cart Titan and the general on our side, it would increase our chances of survival greatly!"
"But I can't forget and forgive what she did so easily." Your eyes threaten to spill, but you hold back.
"You don't have to forgive her, and I never asked you to forget what she did. That general was probably the one who ordered the Colossal and Armoured Titan to breach Wall Rose, and that resulted in countless of my comrades dying, including Moblit, Erwin, Mike, and so on. Trust me, I have enough reason to hate that man too." Hange continues.
"I get it, they're all guilty of doing something to us, but it's just... ridiculous that we have to side with someone like them! We'll find other allies."
"We don't have the luxury of time!" Hange exclaims and you shrink a little at her raised voice. "We can't pick and choose who we want, we take what we can get in this situation! Look, what Eren's doing right now, is exactly what they did to us years ago. If we don't stop it, what does that say about us? That we support a massacre, killing millions of innocent people and even children? If we're not willing to put our past mistakes aside and cooperate with these people, knowing it could increase our chances of success even just by a little, what would we have left? We would be exactly the same as they are!"
You're conflicted. You know Hange is right, but you can't seem to bring yourself to accept it so easily.
"Please... will let me try and negotiate with them?" Hange pleads. "You don't have to say anything or be a part of this, just let me do the talking."
You lift your gaze up to look at Hange, and the desperate countenance in her eyes makes your stomach churn and your expression falter. She was losing patience too, and you didn't want to be at the receiving end of her anger. You loosen the grip around your swords and swallow hard.
"Dammit," you say quietly, the word a shape on your lips. "Did Erwin give you professional speaking lessons?"
Hange's grave expression breaks and a big tug forms on the corners of her lips. "He certainly did not, but I'll take that as a yes?"
What choice did you have? In a situation this dire, you couldn't afford to be a burden to Hange. She was right, she was completely right. It would be dumb to miss out an opportunity at having one of the nine Titans and a Marleyan army commander on your side.
When Hange greets the two, the Cart Titan lunges at her, nearly snapping her in half. Luckily, Hange was quick to de-escalate the situation, and pointed at you and Levi to show the group's vulnerability.
Two badly injured soldiers and an unarmed Commander.
When the Cart Titan lays her eyes on you, you notice her eyes widening a little. Her gaze on you lingered on for longer than you were comfortable with, as if she's trying to piece some thoughts together. You think she recognised you, from Shiganshina. After all, you did try to attack her while she still had Mario dangling in her mouth.
You stare back at her coldly, not uttering a single word. You learnt her name was Pieck Finger, and the man was Theo Magath, a general of the Marleyan army. He pointed a gun at Levi and you were quick to shield him protectively with your body, raising a strange look from Magath.
"My objective is to kill Zeke Jaeger. Our goals align." Levi reasoned.
"One question before I shoot, where is Zeke Jaeger?" the general asked.
"Most likely, Eren has absorbed him to use his royal blood." Hange responds immediately.
"It seems like you know everything, Hange, Titan Researcher." Pieck Finger finally speaks. "More than us Marleyans do. Have you seen the Founding Titan?"
"I know that it's extremely huge and seems unstoppable, that's why we need to do this and... the 'put our powers together' thing." Hange clenched her fist but maintained a dead serious expression.
If Levi is grimacing, then he doesn't show. You still hated the idea of allying yourself with the Cart, but follow along with Hange's plan. It's not like you have a better idea or plan.
Hange discusses her plans with Magath and Pieck, while you tend to Levi as he needed a change of bandages. You feel a pair of eyes lingering on your back as you unroll a new set of gauze, and when you turn around, you see Pieck looking directly at you. You tear your gaze away from her, and focus back on Levi. Feeling nauseated again, you step away from his cart and sit on the grass next to a lake.
"I remember you," a steady female voice says. You whip around and Pieck Finger is standing right behind you.
You maintain a cautious, stone-faced mien.
"Likewise," you replied coldly, standing up to face her properly. Titan marks decorated her under-eyes and cheeks. Her hair was as dark as night, wavy and disheveled. You hated to admit that she looked objectively attractive, nothing you'd ever expect to see coming out of the Cart Titan. Her composure was calm, mature, calculating.
"I know you have your reservations about me, but I decided I should probably talk to you anyway since we are going to be working together," Pieck said. "I heard you're a doctor. My commander had a bad fall today and his wrist is hurting. He'd never ask anyone for help, so I'd like to ask if you could take a look for him?"
It took nearly all your willpower to stop your face from twisting upon having a conversation with the very same perpetrator that killed your best friend. Here she was, in need of your skills as a doctor to heal her own comrade while she butchered yours.
You had half a mind to sneer at her and punch her in the gut for what she did. You look at the distant and meet eyes with Levi, who's watching you carefully. He shakes his head, as if telepathically telling you to cease whatever reckless thing you're planning to do.
With a strained voice, you reply back to her. "What are his symptoms?"
—
Magath moves his wrist around on your command as you check for his range of motion.
"When did you notice the swelling?" you asked Magath, eyes trained on his right wrist.
"A few hours ago," he replied gruffly. He continues eyeing you cautiously, though you can't blame him. The Marleyan refugees acted the same way when you treated them for the first time.
"It's likely a minor sprain, I don't see any signs of a fracture. It should heal on its own, as long as we give it proper compression and anti-inflammatory topical cream to reduce the swelling," you stated and started rummaging your bag. "I have some menthol cream to help with the swelling. You shouldn't use this wrist too much for now."
You squeezed out some menthol cream and applied it on the general's wrist, and wrapped it up in a tight compress with bandages. You were lucky that you were able to return to the Titan forest to retrieve several medical supplies.
"Thank you." Magath responds tautly, and you packed your belongings and moved away.
Later, when you're sitting alone and sorting through your medical equipment, you feel a presence come up to you once more.
"Thanks for the help, doctor," Pieck says to you. You feel the hairs on your body stand up.
"Just doing my job," you said.
There was a cold air of tension and a long silence. Neither of you knew what to say to each other. Your initial plan to ignore Pieck had failed, because once more, anger crosses your heart and you feel yourself starting to break apart.
"You... you didn't have to bite off his entire lower body."
"Pardon?" Pieck stumbles on her words, caught by surprise.
"Why did you have to kill him?" you gritted your teeth, holding back the dam that threatened to spill from your eyes.
After a plausible silence, Pieck finally speaks. "I don't know why you're asking me this. Whether you're looking for a comforting answer or the harsh truth, I know you won't like either of my answers. However, I will tell you the latter. I attacked, simply because he attacked me first. I did that out of self-defense and to ensure he had no way to pursue or hurt me further."
"You could have spared him," you looked straight at the ground, eyes trailing the soft grass you were sitting on. "Could've... could've just knocked him out or... or bitten off his arm. Then he would still be alive right now."
"I had no reason to spare an enemy or have empathy for his comrade who tried to hurt me the same. I would have never known we would be in this situation right now, having to work with you as an ally," Pieck replies, her voice still as calm as still water. "I don't know what else to say."
Pieck is silent again, and you can't see what kind of expression she was making with all the tears that blurred your eyes.
"Please, leave me alone," your voice shook. You hear a shuffle, and Pieck leaves you. Warm tears fall on your cheeks and onto the grass as you mourn for the loss of your best friend, for the hundredth time.