[mention of suicide and death, depression and other mature words]
Karthik Pov:-
Its been 1 week to the picnic day and my heart burns every time i see her with that mandy guy. I am trying hard to seek forgiveness from drishti but I know its not that easy to forgive me. I had my reasons but nothing can justify my actions and words I said to drishti all this years and I am ashamed of myself for that. I neglected her love, care and affection and now when this things are not there in my life I am craving for them and this time I am willing to reciprocate all the love, care and affection ten folds.
I cant live without her and I have decided i want to make my relationship strong with drishti, I need to gain her trust and love and trust can be gained when there are no secrets between two person. I dont want to hide about my past, my trust issues, my traumas anymore. I will tell her everything and then only I will take any other steps.
Drishti is trying her best to give me cold shoulder but her love for me is much more than any other feeling and I dont want her to lose that feeling for me. I am selfish for love, for her. She is my wife, in this life I wont let her go from my life, she is mine. As usual I was waiting outside her apartment, under her balcony. it's 10pm she comes out to throw trash at this time when I give her chocolates and sneakily give her cheek kiss and her angry face makes her look cute.
She came out and our eyes met, she looked away and went to throw the trash as I followed her taking the trash from her hands before throwing it. She glared at me, "how many times I should say I dont need your help" she said annoyed by me. "You are my wife and I dont like you doing these stuff", she scoffed and turned around to leave but i held her wrist stopping her, "leave me" she said trying to free her hand.
"just listen to me once drishti", "i dont want to listen anything lemme go kirti is sleeping and mandy must be waiting". ugh that mandy his names makes my blood boil but calming my anger I said, "drishti just this once listen to me I wanna tell you something important about me, my past" she stopped her struggles and looked at me her eyes looking right into mine. "please come with me" "tell me here" "not here somewhere else" she thought for a second and called someone, "hello mandy I am with karthik please look after kirti and i will be back soon, yeah okay thanks" she looked at me and gestured towards the car.
We sat and I started to drive, the car ride was all silent I so wanted to hold her hands and keep her warm but I cannot. She was looking outside, I glanced at her face she is so beautiful her hair mic of brown and black, she has a mini real flower clip in her hair, her obsession with flowers is something else. her beautiful dark black eyes and cute nose. Her rosy petal like lips which I wanna kiss so badly, only time I kissed her was almost 3 years ago on our 2 month anniversary. Stop it karthik focus on road.
We reached at the spot, it was a very small cozy place from where beautiful sceneries of kasauli can be seen. There were mini benches placed with dim fairy lights for a romantic setup for public. We sat on one of the benches and I took a deep breathe. "drishti I was never like this, and please dont think of me as a bad, heartless person after listening about my past" she nodded and i sighed. "it all started when i was in college, nikhil agarwal, me and vaishnavi were very good friends", "nikhil agarwal, that man from the reception party" she asked as i nodded. "we were best friends but got seperated because of vaishnavi, my first love" as these words rolled out from my mouth I can see a pang emotion in her eyes ofcourse which wife would love seeing their husband talking about their first love.
"I wont interrupt you now, so..you... you can continue and tell me everything about her..i mean you" she said and looked down. I placed my pam on back of hers and she looked at me, "dirshti everything I will be saying is the past, my present and future are you. I am telling you this because I dont want any secrets between us as now. And I loved her in the past but now I love you and will always love you"
FLASHBACK
"abey ruk ja sale kitna bhag rha kya milkha singh banega", I said running after my bestfriend since high school NIKHIL AGARWAL. [hey wait you rascal, you are running so much like you wanna become milkha singh (famous indian runner) ] "bhai mere bhai ko love letter mila hai, itni asani se kaise dedunga thodi mehnat toh kar" [bro, my bro has got love letter how can I give this so easily without you doing any hardwork] he said still running when he abruptly stopped making me bump into him.
"diwal jaisa toh shareer hai, och mera sar" [ouch my head, you have a body like that if wall] I took the letter from her as he was busy gawking at the girl group near the lockers. aish this pervert. "close your mouth or else fly will go inside nikhil" we heard a voice from our back and we turned behind to see vaishnavi, my crush and also my another best friend. "hey vaishu you know what happened today" nikhil said making my eyes wide as he again snatched the letter from my hand. "our karthik got love letter again man he is so in demand"
Vaishnavi's face fell as she looked sad making us confuse, "good for you karthik, you have so many girls behind you enjoy with them" she said as she turned and left. "ise kya hua" nikhil asked his expressions saddening too. "i dont know, I will go and see" he nodded and I went behind her. She was sitting in an empty classroom as i went and sat beside her. she looked at me and I saw her eyes puffy as she was crying making me panic. "hey hey why are you crying, what happened" "what are you doing her go to your fan girls" she said angrily making me chuckle, she is jealous? nut why does she like me too?
"yeah yeah I will go but why are you crying" I asked hiding my smile, she glared at me and said, "dont you know why? are you that much blind?". I held my laugh and said, "yes I am blind I cant see, tell me clearly" she stood angrily and said, "you are a dummy, cant you see I love you huh" she realised what she said as she was about to run away when I held her hand and pulled her closer. "and are you also that blind that you didn't see me throwing all the letters in trash which I have got till now, the dummy here is you
"dont call me that...and..leave me what..are you doing" she said tryng to free herself from me but I pecked her lips making her still in shock, "vaishnavi kapoor I love you too, will you be my girlfriend" she came out of her shock as she blushed hard before nodding and we shared our first romantic kiss in that empty classroom not noticing someone watching us with hurt eyes.
We started dating and were happiest but I noticed nikhil behaving oddly with me, he didnt talk much with me and vaishnavi and also started to distance himself from us. He started hanging out with other guys who dont have much good repuation. I didnt like it, he is getting himself into bad company. Finally I spotted him alone and went near him. "hey nikhil lets hangout today" "umm not today I am not free" he said and tried walking away when I stopped him.
"enough is enough nikhil what is going on why are you ignoring us huh?" I said a little annoyed and fake laughed, "look who is talking karthik rawal the royal blood has tonnes of girls behind him but still he chose the girl whom I have been loving since childhood" what did he say, he loves vaishnavi but he never said anything. "You came in her life a year ago and wooed her with your royal status and you both are now dating, so go and date dont worry about me, and if I am ignoring is because I dont wanna become bad person in your love life. because I love vaishnavi that much that I cant see her with you and thats why I am maintaining my distance from you so you too maintain your distance from me"
Saying this he left and we never crossed paths again, sometimes I used to see him talking to her in my absence like a normal friend, but I noticed the sparks and the blush in his eyes and face which I failed to notice before. Everytime when I came he makes some excused and leaves. I miss him, I miss my bestfriend. I should have known he loves someone but he is very good at hiding his deep emotions behind his goofy and happy mask.
Days turned into weeks and months and its been 8 months we are dating after 3 months we will graduate. Nikhil has become worst version of himself, skipping classes, smoking, drinking, and whoring around is the only thing he does . I some times blame myself for his this version maybe thats the reason I have started growing apart from vaishnavi in the past one month. We have been fighting a lot and everytime we fight nikhil is there with her to console her and I know what he trying to do.
His new friends have brain washed him so much that he has become someone and speaks like someone whom I never knew. Right now vaishnavi is crying because I said the only thing I shouldn't have said in my anger and pressure of studies, family and nikhil. "how could you karthik, how could you accuse me of cheating", i tried to console her, "i am sorry vaishu i...i didn't accused of cheating i... I myself dont know how the hell that slipped by my mouth". she glared at me with her angry tears
"you said stop crying like a baby vaishnavi I ain't nikhil who will come and embrace you whenever you will cry, I ain't in my lover boy era like him who is always behind you whenever you need shoulder to cry, if you aren't my lover then who is. the things you say to me makes me feel like shit, nikhil is our friend karthik. you know what I am so done now I have been noticing these since past month and now I guess we are done too" she cried hard and left the place. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. what the hell did I do, I love her for god sakes. Fuck my anger on nikhil, on my family, on myself.
I tried contacting vaishnavi but she has blocked me from every where, its been a week to that day and she isn't coming college either. I tried but couldn't make myself to go to her house, I am ashamed of my behaviour. Nikhil passes me glares everytime he sees me, I myself dont know what am I doing, or what have I done.
Next day I came to college and saw everyone giving me pity looks as I went near my lockers I saw vaishnavi and nikhil holding hands walking together which made me angry how the hell he is holding my girl friends hand. I went near them and held his collar, "why are you holding her hand huh" "stop it karthik nikhil is my boyfriend, he can hold my hand" vaishnavi said making me shock, "what the hell you are my girlfriend" "I was remember a week ago I said we are done and its over between us" "you...you cant do this to me", "I did if you dont care about me then I dont care about you" saying this she left with nikhil who just gave me a victory smirk.
I didn't know when my bestfriend became so much of devil. I sighed my head was paining this morning dad said me he is facing loss in business and needs my and atharv's help but atharv refused he barely comes out of his room then how come he will attend office meetings. I have to look after everything there's so much pressure on me and now my breakup and everything is making me messed up.
two weeks later I was sitting in the park because vaishnavi called me she said she has something important to say. She came running catching her breathe, "what happen vaishu why are you running" I asked but she just hugged me and started crying, "karthik please dont leave me I cant live without you please" "I ain't leaving you vaishu I love you" she looked at me with her puffy eyes, "then lets get married karthik marry me make me yours please" I was taken aback by her words I slowly pushed her little away from me.
"I...I cant marry you vaishu, no..not now atleast" "why why cant you we are adults we are 22 we can please lets get married or else dad will marry me to someone else please" she started crying but I wasn't ready for marriage, I dont know my head wad paining like hell all the tension and pressure just exploded, "I cant marry you vaishu I am not ready" I said and maintained distance between us. "no no karthik please I love you so much please" she cried but all I can hear are dad's pleadings to not cause any trouble which can harm the families reputation and which will lead to ten times more loses which we are facing me. my grandpa is already stressed and is bed ridden for now.
I am a royal blood, always on headlines and I cant let my family down, and vaishu is being emotional I cant let my emotions take control over me, "vaishu compose your self you aren't in right state of mind okay" "karthik dad is making me get married to a politician who is just marrying me for more fame and money please help me out" "I will but give me time vaishu I need...to process all these please" saying this I asked her driver to drop her. "karthik wait dont do this please karthik I love you please take me with you", "I will vaishu but please wait for me" I said and her car drove away.
three days later I have cleared my mind, I need to save vaishu from this marriage and I will today itself go to her house, thinking this I closed my locker door when a hard punch landed on my face and I fell down. I hissed as the person picked me up by my collars and punched me again but I saw the person was none other than nikhil looking so angry, his eyes puffy and red like he was crying. he was punching me without any reasons when I had enough and punched him back hard. "what the hell nikhil why are you punching me" "ASK YOURSELF YOU RASCAL, YOU SELFISH HUMAN, YOU ATRE A MURDERER" he shouted on top of his lungs breathing hard with tears in his eyes.
what was he talking about, me a murderer, "what the hell are you talking about" he glared hard at me if looks could kill I would be 10 feet under ground. "DIDN'T VAISHU CAME TO YOU THREE DAYS AGO PLEADING YOU TO MARRY HER AND TAKE HER AWAY" "she did" he grabbed my collar and said, "THEN WHY THE HELL YOU DENIED HER WHY WHY WHY, IF YOU COULDN'T YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT HER MISERY I WOULD HAVE HELPED HER DAMMIT BECAUSE I LOVED HER GENUINELY NOT A FAKE ONE LIKE YOU, IF I WAS WITH HER SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN ALIVE NOW" the ground beneath my feet slipped at his words.
"wh...what are you talking about..vaishu...sh.she is alive you idiot" "NO SHE ISN'T, HER FATHER KNOWS SHE LOVES YOU AND HE THREATENED HER HE WOULD KILL YOU IF SHE DIDN'T MARRY THAT POLITICIAN BUT SHE COULDN'T TAKE IT, SHE WAS ALREADY SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION BECAUSE OF HER FAMILY AND YOU WERE HER ONLY ESCAPE BUT YOUR BEHAVIOUR WITH HER ONLY MADE IT WORSE KARTHIK, SHE.....she....committed suicide last night" he said as tears left from his eyes.
"she committed suicide because of you, you are also one of the reason she is not with us anymore, last night she texted me everything and thanked me for everything and said goodbye to me, I knew she was in depression so I decided to check on her but by the time I reached her house it was too late her mother was crying hysterically holding her soulless body, she died motherfucker just coz of, she chose you but you couldn't choose her" I couldn't hear anyhting more what nikhil was saying he punched me and slapped me again but I was too much lost to even feel it, vaishu committed suicide because of me, just because I couldn't focus on myself and hurted all the people around me.
I didn't assured vaishu, i was being practical and didn't understand her fully, I was the reason nikhil became like this because I couldn't understand him, his feelings for vaishu. When vaishu was with me I couldn't deal with my problems and pressure and ruined our relationship and her mental health more, I didn't knew she was in depression what kind of boyfriend was I? I couldn't figure out my family problems and I am a messed and fucked up guy.
1 month later I still couldn't get over vaishu's death, her father used her death for his own benefit for his political career. My family doesn't know about anything about vaishu and me, they just know that vaishnavi kapoor daiughter of mla jaikant kapoor died due to suicide. Nikhil hasn't left a chance to blame me for her death and hates me even more no, our somewhat left friendship is also ruined thanks to me.
Even after graduation I couldn't focus on work and finally my dad got to know about my and vaishu's connection and he sent me london for further studies and made sure everyone here forgets about me and her but ofcourse Nikhil wouldn't
flashback end.
"I was left all alone drishti no one wanted to be near me near a heartless person like me whayt did I do drishti I was immature back then couldn't take decisions and my anxiety made it worse. I started distancing everyone because who ever is comes close to me ends up getting hurt, first nikhil then vaishnavi. I even distanced my self from my family for 4 years but then when I turned 26 they all started talking about my marriage and I didn't wanted to because I knew I would have end up hurting that person too which I eventually did. i went for therapies drishti so I could become a better person, everyone says it wasn't my fault but he didn't say it and I know he will never because he still blames me for her death" I didn't know when we both started crying as drishti hugged me tight.
"it wasn't your fault karthik, you are not bad person, the situation was please dont feel guilty for the thing you didn't do it was her faith and nikhil need to understand this too please dont blame yourself anymore" she said soothing words to me as I cried hard in her embrace. I was crying for the first time in these 8 years ever since vaishnavi's death. She didn't stop me let me cry hard.
Drishti's Pov:-
He was crying so much, letting out all the tears of all these years and I let him. Its wasn't his or anyone's fault., why does he has to suffer so much. I grew up orphan I know what loneliness feels like. He had his big family, his other friends but he ended up being alone all these years. He was suffering all these alone, "does atharv and kunal knows", "they..they got to know it from...nikhil himself. he told them because he wanted to taint my relationship with my brother... but he couldn't" he was still hugging me and after sometime I saw he was asleep. I kissed on top of his head, "you are strong karthik, you have endured so much alone but not anymore, I am with you always and forever, happy 3 years anniversary my love" I whispered and placed his head properly on my shoulder not to disturb him, I know he hasn't been sleeping well ever since he came here.
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TO BE CONTINUED.........
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I AM SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE I WASN'T WELL AND ALSO WRITING ISN'T EASY WHEN YOU HAVE A BUSY LIFE. DO VOTE AND COMMENT YOUR VIEWS.
I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT HAVE I WRITTEN UNDER THE EFFECT OF MEDICINE SO SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES.
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NEXT UPDATE WILL BE ABOUT ATHARV AND KUNAL'S GROWING CLOSENESS WITH THWIE WIVES.
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STORY COUNT:- 3560
TOTAL WORD COUNT:- 3675