A.N. Vote reminder. ⭐️♥️
The closer I got to the date I was going to fly out to Los Angeles to surprise Sadie, the less I could hold my nerves in check.
Sadie and I had truly been in contact non-stop.
It was either texts or calls or pictures.
Or, rarely—but oh so wonderfully—short videos on very special occasions.
The way Sadie trusted me with such content lit up some fire inside me. The idea that anything she sent me could have been of such high interest to anyone, and yet she sent it to me knowing well I was not going to betray her made my head spin.
We also exchanged an unhinged amount of regular photos. Lots of them were of Keynes but also of random other things: what we were eating, the places we were in, selfies with random people we were hanging out with, and so much more. We were apart but in so many ways she felt as close as we had ever been.
Sadie would text me when she had nightmares, which luckily wasn't too often. We talked them out, and if for any reason I was awake I'd call her and speak about anything else I could think of, with the sole purpose of distracting her.
I talked on the phone with Mom Amelia, and unlike when I was dating Colin, she seemed very interested in what Sadie and I had agreed on. She was ecstatic to hear that we were giving a relationship another try, and now that we were older we felt more confident that we could make it work despite the distance.
I also had the awareness that Sadie was the only person who could make me feel the way she did.
Part of me, in the attempt to find something positive in our story, decided that it all had been for the best.
Having known other people and having had other relationships made me fully understand and appreciate how it had to be Sadie and no one else.
There was no wondering if or what. Sure, I regretted the time apart and the years unable to speak to her. At the same time, I was never going to be done appreciating how special she was and how unique our bond could be.
-
"Which dick are you bringing?" Bailey sat on my bed while I packed for L.A. and for my brother's wedding.
I snorted while folding shirts and shorts, "I don't think that concerns you."
"Why is your brother having a beach wedding in December?" She continued with her line of questioning.
"I have no idea, they say the islands are less crowded and the weather is still nice enough?" I shrugged and sighed, wondering how many warmer items I needed to bring.
"Does Sadie actually not know you're going early to surprise her?" Question number three.
"Unless James told her, or she has some mind-reading powers—which is not impossible—she shouldn't know, no," I grabbed a few flannel shirts.
"Do you think you'll marry her?" She threw in casually, but I knew she meant it.
I stopped whatever I was doing and listened to my heart accelerate at the thought. But no panic.
"I've only been back with her for like two months, out of which what? Two and a half weeks in person?" I tried to do the math, "What question is that?"
Bailey shrugged, "You didn't throw up, that's a good sign."
She had caught me.
"It's way too early to think about anything so serious," I pushed back.
"I'm not saying you should propose at your brother's wedding, that would be a dick move regardless. I was just asking if you see it happening one day," She raised both hands defensively.
"Who knows about one day..." I shook my head, trying to remember what items were still missing from my luggage, "How're things with Daria?"
Bailey's eyes lit up at the mention of her girlfriend.
"We're talking about maybe starting to search for a studio or a one-bedroom together, you know, for the sum of the prices of our rooms we could get something with no roommates," She sounded happy about that.
"Maybe it's your chance to find somewhere with no mice running through the kitchen!" I joked.
"In this city?" She circled a finger up in the air, "I'm telling you, the only reason why you haven't seen any here is because of Keynes, he must be scaring them away," She shrugged.
I winced at the thought of rats and mice in my apartment.
"Maybe you guys could get a cat too," I raised an eyebrow at my friend.
"Move in together, get a cat, and next what? An engagement ring?" She joked.
I smiled and packed Sadie's favorite pair of my jeans, "You have been thinking a lot about marriage recently."
"Shut up man," She got defensive, "We're young and have been together for two months."
"No shit! That's very similar to something I was saying, isn't it?" I threw her a ball of clean socks I meant to pack.
I meant to pack a couple of toys too, but I wasn't sure it was a good idea to do so in front of Bailey.
Not that I cared—as much as I wasn't sure how many hours of jokes about it I could endure.
I eventually decided I would rather not forget about it at the price of letting Bailey have her share of a good time bashing me.
All of my toys were neatly stored in their fabric bags anyway. She could only make fun of so much if she didn't see the specific items I was choosing.
"Oh. My. God. You're actually packing up your dicks, aren't you?" Bailey leaned over to catch a better glimpse of the bags in my hands with way too much amusement. She was definitely familiar with the brands.
"Can we all act like adults B?" I pretended annoyance while thinking of what else I still needed to pack.
"My mom would die if she knew that this is what the youth is up to," She shook her head.
"That's not the impression I got last time I visited her," I winked at her and tried so hard to not bust out laughing.
Bailey immediately jumped up on her knees on the bed, "You don't want to start the 'I fucked your mom' jokes with me, Angie, you know better!"
"She was just having a hard time with the divorce and you know I have a heart of gold," I shrugged, keeping up my act, with my hand open on my chest.
Bailey's mouth fell open, she knew I was joking, but she was still at a loss for words. She shook her head and crossed her arms, biting back a smile.
"Plus, you wouldn't even know which one of my moms you'd go with if by any miracle you had a chance," I shrugged, "And they're intense, you wouldn't make it, they'd eat you alive."
Bailey's eyes widened at my words and the biggest grin played on her face, "Isn't that the dream!"
We both laughed til our faces hurt. I was way over the discomfort I had felt in high school when people crushed on my moms. It was just part of life, it made for very good jokes and I couldn't truly blame my friends for it.
Part of what made it fun was my moms being aware of it. Mom Laura was embarrassed by it and always did what she could to avoid the topic at all costs. Mom Amelia, in her true fashion, thought it was hilarious, and held a bit of pride in her "MILF" title.
It was hardly the first time they had dealt with the issue. When Gabe was a senior in high school they were still in their early thirties, people more often assumed they were his siblings than his parents. Every single one of Gabe's classmates would've done anything to get into my house.
What a weird childhood my brother had.
-
My heart beat so fast the entire time I was on the direct flight from New York to Los Angeles.
I had planned to work on my next paper but anytime I tried to focus on economics my mind would jump back to the woman I loved and I was about to surprise.
I couldn't wait to see her face in person.
I couldn't wait to kiss her face.
I looked up the account that most reliably posted photos of the woman as they became available, and as James had told me Sadie was on the movie set that day. There were pictures of my Sadie leaving a coffee shop near the studios.
I watched a movie and listened to some music while continuing to text with Sadie normally whenever she had work breaks.
After landing I recognized Monica—the same woman who had driven us to the airport in New York and had taken me home afterward—waiting for me with a sign with my name on it.
James had thought of everything.
I didn't realize at the time that she wasn't based in New York but traveled along with Sadie.
It made sense, thinking back on it, that my girlfriend would trust her with sensitive information about her private life if she was part of her core team and not just some random driver hired in another city.
My face heated up at the memory of what the woman had witnessed. She was incredibly professional though, and acted as if she knew nothing.
"Hi, thank you for picking me up," I said, unsure of what the etiquette was around paid personnel.
Despite the limitless funds I had access to, I stuck with public transport and rideshares in my day-to-day life.
"You're welcome," She said simply and helped me with my luggage.
She drove me straight to the studios, past a security-guarded gate, and through private roads. That was why there weren't pictures of Sadie arriving at work, the whole thing was inaccessible to anyone who wasn't authorized.
I texted James my ETA and they were right in the parking lot the moment Monica parked.
"My luggage—" I wasn't sure.
"Will be home," She finished my sentence. Sadie's home. My stomach flipped.
"Thank you again," I mumbled before getting out of the car to meet James.
Besides the latest text exchanges in which we planned my trip, the previous conversation with them had been the one in which I was threatened to be ended if I dared to hurt Sadie's feelings again, and they had explicitly said we weren't friends. I wasn't sure where that put us exactly almost two months later.
Two months in which I had not hurt Sadie's feelings yet.
I smiled brightly at Sadie's best friend, my excitement for what was about to happen was too hard to contain.
They hugged me briefly, probably also excited about seeing the woman's reaction and subsequential gratitude in a minute.
"She's going to die," They whispered to me before grabbing my hand and dragging me inside the studios.
I was going to die.
James put a lanyard with some access badge on it around my neck and sneaked me quietly into the set. There was a massive crew all around the small portion of the room they were filming in. Big lights were pointed at the actors on the scene. I spotted my girl immediately.
She was in the middle of a line, and so absorbed in her character that as my eyes locked on her I forgot all about the crew too.
My heart raced.
She stared at the other woman on set and spoke of something I didn't understand with such conviction I could've fallen in love all over again with a whole other version of her.
I stood behind the crew, completely invisible to her, in the dark, and loved every second of it.
She was stunning.
With difficulty I made myself look around at everyone else. Was I the only one madly in love with the woman? Or could everybody else too see how incredible she was?
There were definitely heart-shaped eyes spread around the room.
James pointed out a chair for me, where I wouldn't be in anybody's way but still had a good enough view, I nodded and watched them walk to a different area, further up and closer to the cameras.
The scene had to be repeated several times. Minutes went by in which I could look at her and allow my heart to ease back into a decent rhythm and she was completely unaware of my presence. I took each one as a gift.
After the director called the scene over I watched my girlfriend step away and the crew swarm all over the place like bees, everyone with their own assigned task in mind. I stood, but I didn't leave the spot I was in.
My legs didn't work, and even if they did I couldn't really go up to her and greet her in front of everyone in the way I wanted to.
Several people walked up to Sadie right away. She stepped out of her character and walked into her own person. She offered everyone kind smiles and engaged in small talk. There was again that specific way she had of making her interlocutor feel special.
I had read somewhere that she was a delight to work with and that people in the field would've done anything to be in her team, it wasn't difficult to believe at all.
James too got close to her and said something she laughed at.
My eyes were probably burning a hole in the side of her head. And she felt it, she felt me looking at her.
I wouldn't have believed in stuff like that if she hadn't slowly turned in my direction to spot me in the dark in a way that made absolutely no sense unless there was some inexplicable magnetic attraction alerting her of my presence.
My stomach dropped.
There was my girl.
Looking right at me.
Her eyebrows knit almost imperceptibly as if she needed to make sure her eyes weren't betraying her in a mean trick. Her mouth opened and shut and I could see all of the emotions running subtly across her features.
"Excuse me," I read her lips as she stepped away from the small group around her.
She walked steadily in my direction. I kept on standing there. My heart climbed into my throat. My knees felt weak.
I swallowed as my eyes couldn't decide where to settle between her eyes and her lips.
I pulled out of my brain the mental note that said that nobody around us could know she was my girlfriend. I couldn't touch or kiss her. Not Yet. I had to make sure to keep that in mind, although with every inch burned between us, it got harder and harder to think about anything but her mouth.
"You're here," She assessed, as if it was hard to believe.
"I couldn't wait any longer," I whispered back and was delighted to see her having a hard time keeping it together at my words.
She closed her eyes for a moment and nodded.
"There are too many eyes here," She confirmed what my mental note said, "I'll show you around in a bit, stay put for me," It was both a plead and a command, and I was all about having Sadie tell me exactly what to do.
"Not going anywhere Sades," I used all of my strength to step back from her and climb back on the tall chair I had sat on while she worked.
"How long have you been here for?" She stepped forward and brushed against my knees.
I swallowed and looked down at the delicate point of contact, it felt electric, "Uhm—maybe twenty minutes? I've seen the last four takes," I took a quick look at the time.
She hummed and nodded with a soft smile, "Okay, I'll come see you as soon as I can."
I nodded back and watched her walk away. Her long braids brushed her lower back as her hips swayed. My insides twisted in anticipation of the feeling of those hips grinding against mine.
Sadie had to film two more scenes, which meant many more takes of each one.
I watched her carefully and took notice of the very few times she allowed her eyes to dart to me in between takes.
Her self-control was much better than mine.
We might've been able to keep up a good act in school when we were kids, but we were also seeing each other incredibly often in secret. It was very different when we hadn't been able to see each other outside of a screen for many long weeks.
"Follow me," James muttered to me.
I immediately searched for Sadie's eyes. I didn't feel like telling James that I had been asked to 'stay put' and had a hard time failing to observe Sadie's requests.
The woman was in between takes and somehow knew to find my eyes. She gave me the most subtle nod and I knew.
But more importantly, she knew that I was seeking permission and I could only imagine what type of power trip she'd get out of it.
I couldn't wait to be alone with her and let her exercise all sorts of powers on me.
But also for the time in which she'd lower her guard and let me take care of her.
She could be so many Sadies for me, and I loved each one of them.
James unlocked a door for me, which had "Sadie Sparrow" printed on laminated paper next to it.
Nobody was in the hallway around us when they let me in and closed the door shut behind me.
I guessed we could become more friendly with each other at a different time.
I was in Sadie's dressing room. I looked around and recognized a shirt of mine I hadn't seen in Sadie's pictures from that morning.
A lot of make-up was spread all over a massive counter in front of a big mirror. I didn't think actors' mirrors actually had the big ball-shaped lightbulbs all around the frame, but it turned out to be the case for Sadie.
I ultimately decided to sit on the chair right in front of the middle of the mirror.
I could picture her spending hours sitting right there, with a whole team of people focusing just on her.
I could feel my heartbeat get louder in my ears as the minutes passed and I felt closer and closer to when Sadie would join me.
The door slowly started opening and I stared at it through the reflection in the mirror, all of my nerves tense.
I felt like a child on the morning of their birthday.
All I wanted was cake.
Sadie's bright smile appeared in the reflection and before I knew it I could hear the door getting locked behind her.
"Hey Sugar," She spoke softly with a joyful tone.
I wanted to stand but before I could Sadie had already taken the three steps from the door to the chair, put both hands on my shoulders, and leaned down to press her cheek to mine.
"You're really here," She assessed and slid her hands down my chest and up my neck before grabbing my cheeks in both hands.
I nodded and leaned into her touch.
It felt as if she was making sure that I was truly there, her fingers getting a taste of all of the details on my face before she walked around the chair and sat on my lap.
"I'm really here," I wrapped my arms around her waist and took in her scent, my heart skipped several beats. I couldn't stop looking at her.
"Is it okay if I kiss you now?" She checked in one breath, her nose already almost brushing mine.
"No, I kiss you now," I closed the distance between us and let fireworks explode in the back of my brain the moment the sweetest lips melted against mine.
A.N. We're in L.A. friendsss, thoughts? Don't forget the little star. ⭐️♥️