Silence. I always enjoyed it.
A little part of me loves the silence; it is a sweet, rich sound that I think some of us enjoy, but others love sounds because they don't want to feel so alone. I grew up mostly in suburban hell where all your neighbors act nice to your face but turn around and talk behind your back.
I hated living in the suburbs, but I loved living in the city, I do enjoy the silence, but only for a short period of time; my family is different; they can never be nice to neighbors, or the neighbors didn't like them because my family complained too much. I always made friends with my neighbors because I believe we all should be kind and give people a chance to show their true selves before I start to lash out at them for no reason. I sip my cup of tea every evening or my glass of bubbly pink wine and enjoy the little noises that I hear from the outside.
I feel as if I hear silence all the time I will be in my head too much or forever; I always have intrusive thoughts of myself and the way the world is, I don't like to think too deeply because if I do, I might just get stuck there, so it's better that a bit of noise is present in my life.
I have always been the girl that loved people, but my family can never just take a minute and stop thinking of themselves for once, I feel if they were kinder, maybe people would enjoy their company, but instead, they sit there and judge everyone that comes into there path, but they don't realize how contradicting they are because they are not perfect whatsoever, the people they judge are most of the time harmless, my family has walls up, but because my mother has hers up for as long as I can remember like I said before your child imitate the parent they are around the most and clearly it is monkey see, monkey do with them. But not me.
I am my own person and have always been. I see the world from a different point of view, and you can say I am the black sheep of the little family that I have in my life, I never was the one to sit down and drink a soda and do nothing all day, I was always the one to keep going and to keep moving because if I stop, I might just do something I don't want to do like I said I have intrusive thoughts.
So, as I keep sipping my cup of tea and keep doing whatever I have to do, I am enjoying my OWN life that I have built for myself; whether you are family or not, I am always going to stay true to myself and always to try to keep staying positive for me.
Even if it means cutting family off, I will do what I have to do.
*Sips cup of tea and smiles*