I moved away from Neville, although he tried to hold me back, and I pushed through the crowd.
"Don't let the girl see," Fleur told Krum, her hands in front of her mouth as her eyes welled with tears.
Krum held me back but I tried to push through. "Wait, Krum, please!"
"You shouldn't see."
"Please," I choked out. The air was suddenly pebbles moving through my throat and making my chest heavy.
The world was dark; the bottom of a lake with an endless amount of water crushing me under the weight. I stared through the surface, but the sun was dim.
My sun was dim.
The world just kept spinning.
I pushed past Krum and made my way over to the small crowd forming around Harry and Cedric.
And I saw him.
Cedric lied, clutched in Harry's arms like he would suddenly start running off if Harry didn't hold him tight. His eyes were open, but lifeless, perfectly recognizable as dead compared to the life he always held in them.
Breathing got harder and harder.
I think I had sucked in water.
I stepped back, my eyes darting around to try and identify something recognizable. Something to get the cogs in my head turning again so they wouldn't rust.
People.
Screaming.
Crying.
Because of Cedric.
Heart thumping.
Too noisy.
Shut up.
It's too...
Loud.
"Can I touch you?"
I stopped. A voice, muffled, though I could hear it much better than the screams and cries from all around me. The voice wasn't screaming. It was familiar.
As I slowly nodded, I felt a warm embrace wrap around me, doing nothing to try and restrain me. I was just held.
"Let it all out."
I covered my face with my hands and broke down.
Tears and choked out sobs escaped me no matter how hard I tried to hold them back. It was hard to find time to breath between each cry, but I managed to keep treading above water.
Actually, no I didn't.
Someone pulled me out.
It felt like I cried for hours, but it was only a few minutes.
I took a deep breath and moved my hands from my face, finding that it was Neville that had his arms around me, while Hermione, Ron, Mandy, Morag, Lisa, Sue, and Padma stood around me.
"Has it all come out now?" Neville asked softly.
I shrugged, still feeling the sting of tears at the back of my eyes.
"Everyone please return to their common rooms and carriages," Professor McGonagall said to everyone, although she appeared rather nauseous.
Students began hesitantly straying away from the scene.
I held Neville's hand tightly as he swam through the crowd, pulling me after him. He walked me to Ravenclaw Tower and stood, waiting for me to let go of his hand.
Although with great hesitation, my grip loosened and he pulled his hand out from between my fingers. "You'll be okay?"
"Yeah. Thank you."
He sent a small smile my way and left as Mandy answered the knocker's riddle to let us all inside.
We entered our dorm and it was quiet for a long while. I closed the curtains of my four poster and just sat in the presence of the bewitched stars scattered along a sky of purple and dark blue.
I took my bag off my shoulder and opened it, pulling out everything I used for the investigation.
It was all useless now.
Still, I couldn't help but skim the pages upon pages of notes I had written, just for the sliver of a chance that I'd figure out who was trying to kill Harry.
"Where'd Harry go?" I wondered, moving my curtain out of the way.
"Professor Moody took him away." Padma let out a shaky breath. "He said Harry needed to lie down."
"Professor Moody...?"
And the cogs started to turn again, leaving off right where I ended. This time, however, it wasn't powered by the thrill of a good story or the hunger for something interesting to happen or be discovered.
I was finding the person who killed my brother.
I grabbed my notebook, jumped out of bed and opened the door of our dorm.
"Where are you going?" Morag questioned worriedly.
"I'll be back in a minute."
"No, you won't," Padma said sharply. "Go to Madam Pomfrey's. Get a Calming Draught. A Sleeping Potion, even."
I stared at her before slowly nodding. "Okay."
I shut the door behind me and bolted from Ravenclaw Tower.
"Let me get this straight. You first saw the elf in the Top Box saving Crouch a seat, right?"
"But Crouch didn't turn up for the match?"
"She can't act without her master's permission."
"When the Dark Mark had been conjured, and the elf had been discovered holding Harry's wand, what did Crouch do?"
"He went to look through the bushes."
"Why would Mr. Crouch be in Snape's office?"
"Moody said that he was searching Snape's office as well?"
"Don't lie to me. Boomslang. Gillyweed. Both come from my private stores, and I know who stole them."
"But, where'd the attacker go, then? Even if they did kill Mr. Crouch?"
The attacker was right there all along. Moody couldn't catch them. Moody didn't spot Bartemius Crouch in Snape's office. Someone did steal Boomslang from Snape's office but it wasn't Harry. And Winky was saving a seat for Bartemius Crouch.
Bartemius Crouch Junior.
I had seen my share of supposed to be dead but not dead people, and seeing as this wasn't the first time, I was confident.
"Professor McGonagall!" I called as she moved through the halls.
"How are you out of bed every single June?"
"It's always for an important reason, please."
She sighed. "What is it?"
"Professor Moody is Bartemius Crouch Junior!"
Her brows shot up, then she sighed again. "And never a moment too soon, Miss Griffin."
She turned around and began walking towards Dumbledore's office, and the headmaster was already waiting outside the... gargoyle. There wasn't really a door.
"Ah, Miss Griffin." He smiled gently. "I was hoping you would suddenly pop up out of bed as you always do these June evenings. What are you findings?"
"Professor Moody is Bartemius Crouch Junior." I held up my notebook. "He's been using a Polyjuice Potion, that's where Professor Snape's boomslang had gone."
Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall looked at each other before speeding down the hall towards Moody's office.
I let out a long exhale as I leaned on the wall and sank down to the floor. If I had realized just a little bit earlier, Cedric would still be alive.
Being angry was already tiring, but being angry as myself was like trying to aim at a target that was at the back of my head, a useless endeavour that affected nobody but me.
After a long while, I made my way to Madam Pomfrey. She was organizing her things, her hands shaking as she moved her potions and materials around.
"Madam Pomfrey?"
She looked to the door and her stressed expression softened. "Oh, Y/N." The pity in her voice was ill-hidden if she was trying to do that. "Calming Draught?"
"Yes please."
She began searching through her shelves as I sat on one of the beds. I took off my shoes and brought my knees close to my chest, watching the stars begin to appear outside the window.
My thumb began picking at my skin as I clasped my hands together.
Snape strode in, ignoring my presence and going to Madam Pomfrey, muttering something in her ear. "Oh dear... Please wait a moment, Y/N."
She rushed out of the hospital wing with Snape and I sat alone for a while. I contemplated just grabbing the potions myself, but I assumed she'd be furious and decided not to.
After a bit, she came in with Professor Moody - the real one, I assumed, from the state of him.
"Do you need help?" I asked, beginning to stand.
"No, no." She set Professor Moody down on a nearby bed and began tending to him, so used to my presence in the hospital wing that she forgot I was there.
I noticed a big black dog trot in without a single care of who was within the room. He walked up beside my bed and laid his head on the sheet. "...Sirius?"
Soon after came Harry, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, Bill, and Mrs. Weasley.
"Oh Y/N, dear," Mrs. Weasley whimpered, pulling me into a tight hug. "How are you feeling?"
I shrugged.
Madam Pomfrey approached me with two bottles. I slid my feet off the bed and into my shoes.
"You're not going to keep Harry company?" Hermione asked.
I looked at Sirius in his dog form and patted his head. "I doubt he needs it."
Madam Pomfrey looked at Sirius unsurely, but Dumbledore told her that his presence was needed.
"You sure you don't want to sleep here, Y/N?" Hermione put her hand on my knee. "I mean, you'd want to be alone after everything, wouldn't you?"
"And you'll see Cho in the common room in the morning," Ron so helpfully reminded me. "Wouldn't that... you know."
"Ron!" Mrs. Weasley slapped the back of his head.
"I'll be fine." While everyone in the room looked at me with pity, I turned away and made my way to the door.
As I left, I heard Harry call out my name and I turned with a tilted head.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I just... Cedric was killed by Wormtail. He helped Voldemort come back - I was the one that didn't let them kill Wormtail last year. If I did..."
"Harry, it's not your fault. I never thought that."
I left the hospital wing feeling worse than I did before. Wasn't that place supposed to be calming?
I entered the common room and found Cho seated on one of the couches in complete silence, her knees hugged to her chest and her eyes puffy from tears. "Cho?"
Her head snapped to the door. "Oh, Y/N!" She sniffled. "Are you alright?"
I sighed and sat down beside her. "You can't stay awake all night, Cho."
"I know, I just- Today-"
"I know." I stared at the two bottles in my hand. "Sleeping Draught?"
"What?"
"I got it from Madam Pomfrey if you're doubtful of my abilities in Potions."
She slowly but not quite hesitantly took the bottle by its neck and stood. "Alright... I'll come back down if it doesn't work."
"Calming Draught should do the trick then." I handed her the other bottle.
"...Weren't these for you?"
"I already had my share," I lied, "so those ones were for whoever needed them."
She sent a smile my way and headed off to her dorm, perhaps too upset for a "goodnight".
I sat alone in the common room for a long while, ever so often getting up to pace, but I didn't feel remotely tired. Every time I felt like I was going to doze off, the image of Cedric's body flashed in my mind and I was wide awake again.
I went to my dorm and grabbed my bag before going back down. I began looking through my notes about Sirius. The comforting smell of old paper and good quality ink.
It was in my lap like a story book as I flipped through the pages with one hand and held the necklace Neville had given me in the other.
While I'd like to say I fell asleep from this, I didn't. Things just started happening mindlessly after that, from flipping through books that decorated the common room walls to simply sitting there, wondering how it turned out like this.
My mind went back to the dream that I had, with my dad and Barty arguing in the Malfoy Manor.
I glanced out the window where stars that were much like the ones on the canopy curtain Draco gave me.
Tell me, dad, would you have done something differently if you knew the outcome?