Now admittedly I knew going outside during a storm was a bad idea. But I had no other choice, the rain hadn't let up for days and I was getting desperate for some time outside. I felt annoyingly enough like a dog that needed to be walked. I had alot of pent up energy I needed to run off, and it all felt concentrated to my now familar ear and tail spots.
I'd only had one trip to the park. Andi made me put on an extra hoodie and big boots and a raincoat. But we didn't even reach the playground before Andi declared the weather too bad and turned us around. I had to put on all those layers for nothing!
So the opportunity was too good to pass up. Andi upstairs busy doing whatever he's been stressing over lately, absolutely no one to stop me from opening the kitchen door and slipping out into the garden.
I ran forward into the grass feeling the ground squish between my toes. I giggled and jumped up and down, watching as the soaked through ground sunk under me and stained my socks with mud.
The rain hitting my face invigorated me. I hopped forward and laughed again at the squishy feeling. I went to hop again but tripped over my feet and fell forward onto the grass, mud splattering.
I kicked my feet and sat up, grabbing handfuls of mud I threw it up in the air and squealed watching it fall back down. I jumped up to my feet and span around, throwing more mud and happy screaming. I ran laps around the garden, feeling the pent up energy in my head dissipate.
I don't know how long I was out there till a call from the house stopped me in my tracks.
"Jamie! Oh my god what are you doing?"
I turned and smiled when I saw Andi in the door, thinking he'd want to join me outside. It was so much fun out here!
I waved
"Hey Andi!"
He was not as enthused as I'd hoped.
"Jamie you're going to catch your death. It's too wet. Come inside!"
He called out to me and I frowned. I didn't wanna go back inside.
"No!"
"Jamie-"
"No! You can't make me"
I plopped myself back down in the grass and laid back, with Andi very loudly protesting in the background. I tuned him out and rolled around in the grass, giggling devilishly to myself.
When suddenly i couldn't feel the rain hitting me anymore. I looked up in confusion and saw a pair of rain boots. Wearing those boots and holding a large umbrella over us both was Andi.
"Bambi get up now"
I huffed and wriggled around till I was facing away from Andi and tried to crawl away. Andi sighed and stepped around me, blocking my escape attempt. He didn't look impressed.
"Jam I'm not messing around, stand up or I'm carrying you in"
I pushed myself up to sitting and grumbled
"Why though? It's just rain, not gonna fucking kill me or anything"
Andi gave me a look over the cursing but said nothing about it
"Actually Jamie it'll make you sick being out here without a jacket"
He took me by my arm and lifted me to my feet. He tutted at me feeling my wet pyjamas.
"You're absolutely soaked-"
I whined and pulled against him slipping in the mud, but that only made him notice in shock.
"You don't have shoes on! Seriously Jamie?"
Andi dragged me back into the house, lecturing me all the while
"I told you it was too wet to go outside today, you're covered in mud and you don't even have shoes on!"
I strained against him
"So what?!"
He rubbed his temples and took a deep breath. Not answering me.
We got back into the kitchen, Andi took off his boots while he shut the door behind us and discarded the umbrella
"Take your socks off bambi"
Despite being clearly frustrated, Andi still regarded me with such care. I sat on the ground as he fussed over me and tried to figure out what to do next.
He brushed his thumb over my face, wiping at the mud smears that covered me.
"You definitely need to shower. I'm gonna have to start dinner without you"
My mouth fell open and I immediately protested.
"No! No Andi we do it together!"
'You should have thought about that before giving yourself a mud bath. Now get your butt in the shower quick and you won't miss too much"
My panic turned into anger. Doubled by the fact I really didn't want to shower.
"Don't wanna!"
"Jamie, upstairs now"
My breathing got heavier and heavier until I felt tears brimming my eyes. Andi watched me in concern as I cried and kicked at the ground.
"No shower!"
I pulled my legs up to my face and screamed into them.
Andi silently crouched down next to me, patiently waiting for a gap in my cries to say
"Jam, jam honey. Let's talk this through"
I sniffled and looked up at him
"We can't cook together with you covered in mud"
I whined and Andi ran his fingers through my wet hair.
"You can't bambi, it's dirty and we don't want to be eating it. So if you shower quick, get all that off you, get into some new pyjamas, we make dinner and forget all this"
He smiled at me warmly but I couldn't stop my lip from wobbling. I sucked in a harsh breath
"Im not gonna shower!"
I shouted alot louder than I intended to. Andi rubbed my back
"Woah woah, bambi I'm right here. I can hear you, no need to yell"
I took a breath and tried to form a more adult fully realised statement, but struggled
"Don't wanna- Not gonna... Can't..."
I whimpered and pulled at my hair. Andi took away my hands and I pushed him off, hitting the ground in frustration.
Andi quit it with the touching and asked
"Why can't you shower bambi? You're so good at keeping up with it"
I sniffled. Showering and washing was something Andi and I just hadn't gone near. I did it myself, I was fine doing it myself. But recently showering had become alot harder than I remembered it being. And definitely more annoying.
I tried to explain
"The water' too cold and the hair stuff always hurts my eyes and the floors too slippy and I fell-"
Andi stopped me
"You fell? When did you fall bambi, Why didn't you tell me?"
I looked away from him
"The other day... Was stupid"
Andi moved forward to me
"Oh it's not stupid bambi, I'm so sorry showerings been getting hard for you"
I whimpered pitifully. I hated this regression, taking away the simplest of things from me.
Andi thought for a second
"Ok, I've got an idea bambi. I want you to hear me out"
He took my hand and squeezed it
"I'm gonna run you a bath"
I whined lowly
"Nooo"
"I know, I know you said you don't like baths honey, but this gonna be different. It'll be nice and warm, relaxing and super quick. Give it a try for me bambi"
I squirmed in place, unsure. Andi sighed
"And if you go for the bath, I'll wait till your finished to make dinner. It'll have to be something simpler, but it can wait"
That was what sold me. I steadied my breathing, slowly got to my feet and gave Andi a resounding.
"Ok"
Andi smiled and stood too, taking me by the hand and leading upstairs to the main bathroom. I sat on the closed toilet as he flipped on the taps.
He looked to me and noticed as a slight shiver went through me. He frowned
"You're shivering bambi, take off your wet pyjamas"
I whined but did as he said, Andi helping take the shirt over my head and take away the pants. I was left in just my pull-up. Which I was unsure whether it was wet from the rain, or from something else.
I whimpered again and Andi quickly came up with a counter. He took off his shirt, it only slightly muddied from me and handed it to me.
"Pop that on while the bath runs, you can take off your protection too bambi"
I just nodded and put the shirt on. It came down past the pull-up and I was greatful for the modesty as I pulled the wet garment down and Andi disposed of it.
As the bath filled, Andi took a blue bottle and poured some weird liquid into the bath. I was about to ask when he explained anyway
"It's just some bubbles jam, we have to pimp this bath a bit, don't we?"
He smiled and I shrugged but stopped to watch in amazement as large bubbles grew out of the water.
I reached forward to touch and quickly pulled back, shaking my hand as the bubbles stuck to it. Andi chuckled
"They're very cool, aren't they bambi?"
I nodded a bit and put his hand in the water. He swished it around a bit before turning off the taps
"Alright that should be good. Hop in whenever you're ready bambi, I'll grab you some fresh pyjamas"
Andi stood up to leave but I whined, making him cock his head at me.
"What's up honey"
I looked to the bath, then back to Andi and pulled at the shirt on me. I scrunched my hands into fists and requested
"Help"
I didn't have to say anything else for Andi to kneel back down.
"Ok Jam, no problem"
He got me to take off the shirt and offered out his hand whilst covering his eyes. I appreciated the gesture.
"Just hold onto me so you don't slip bambi"
I took his hand and stepped over the bath into the warm water.
I sat down slowly and let go of Andi's hand. I moved my hands through the water, it was lovely and warm and honestly felt pretty good. But it was so far out of my comfort zone that I struggled to relax. Andi somehow already knew this.
He emptied out a toothbrush cup on the kitchen sink and turned back to me
"Now I imagine you don't wanna be in here too long"
I nodded
"Yeah um... It's fine, just a lot"
Andi smiled sympathetically at me
"It is a lot honey, and you're so brave doing it. So to get this over quickly why don't I wash your hair-"
I whined uneasily as Andi trailed off, leaning away and grabbing a bag of something. He pulled it open and tipped its contents into the bath.
"-While you judge the bath toys we bought"
I stared at the floating variety of toys and looked back at Andi, attempting to defend myself.
"I'm not a baby"
Andi responded nonchalantly.
"I know Jambam, but I've gotta know if these things are any good. If you don't like any, we'll get rid of them. So, are we good?"
I considered, picking up a yellow duck and giving it a squeeze. It squeaked and I let out a little laugh. I kicked my legs in the water and nodded to Andi. We both got to work.
Andi picked up the bottle of baby shampoo resting on the side of the tub and frowned when he felt it was full.
"Bambi what shampoo have you been using?"
I squirmed and pointed to him, holding the duck to my chest.
"Yours...am big"
I said quietly and Andi sighed
"You are bunny, but that shampoo's just a bit harsh for you, that's why it stung your eyes"
He poured some out onto his hands and began scrubbing his fingers through my hair. I furrowed my brows and I tried to figure out how I felt about it, ultimately deciding it felt good. Very good.
Especially as he massaged into the 2 tension spots on my scalp. I gradually leaned into Andi and shut my eyes. He hummed as he rubbed my head, a tune I couldn't quite place.
When out of nowhere the fingers left my head and I was left flabbergasted as Andi had pulled away. I spun around to him.
"Dont stop"
I called with a blush on my cheeks and Andi smiled and his deft fingers returned to my head. I sighed, remembering what Andi says about being open and honest and deciding to do just that, stuttering out.
"Feels nice where my... Ears come out"
"Oh, well that's alright"
I kept going with the openness and honesty
"Around there's been feeling weird since the rain"
"Oh?"
"Felt like I needed to move. Not anymore though"
I grabbed a squishy shark and dunked it in and out of the water as Andi inquired.
"Is that why you went out into the garden? You needed to move?"
I nodded, bringing my hands up to my head to mine I was feeling
"Lotta energy Andi, thought I was gonna go pop!"
I threw my hands back into the water and it made a big splash. I giggled to myself, then whined, feeling as I began to slip into headspace. Andi noticed and reassured me.
"You're ok pup, fuzzies are catching up to you, aren't they"
I whimpered and nodded
"It's ok bambi, you're gonna be just fine"
Andi whispered all sorts of nice things to me throughout the bath. Gently telling me to tilt my head back when he washed out my hair then praising me for doing it so well. He tried to let me wash the mud off my body myself but my arms weren't doing it right and I got frustrated.
I threw the little wash cloth back at him and whined
"No more, no more. I want out Andi!"
I tried to stand to leave but wobbled and nearly fell backwards. Andi quickly reached out, steadying and guiding me back to sitting.
"Hold on bambi, we don't want you to slip. We're nearly done, Andi's gonna finish cleaning you up and then we'll be done"
I whined and squirmed as Andi began washing the mud of my arms and fash with the soapy cloth. Andi hummed in thought before picking up the yellow duck and squeaking it.
My attention snapped to it, and I flushed a little at the child/dog-like action. Andi squeaked it again and I reached out for it, whining. Just as I grabbed it, Andi asked
"What noise does the duck make bambi? It goes~"
I squeezed the duck and Andi at the same time cried
"Quack quack!"
I burst into giggles and squeaked it again, Andi repeated his quacks every time I squeaked the duck. It had me in such a state I wasn't even bothered by Andi cleaning off all the mud.
"Alright, you're looking squeaky clean bambi! You ready to get out?"
Andi offered his hand for me to take, and I stared at it a while, considering. The bath had just started getting fun.
"Stay a little more?"
Andi beamed
"Whatever you want honey bun"
I messed around with Andi and the ducks till the water went cold. I held my hands up to him and whimpered
"Cold"
"Oh come 'ere bambi"
Andi lifted me out of the bath and into his lap. He reached over to a hook and took off a blue hooded towel. Andi pulled it over head and cuddled me close.
I laid against his chest, burrowing into the warmth as Andi cooed to me
"My mucky pup, let's get you into something cosy"
I looked up at him, bashfully asking
"S-star oney?"
Andi put up my hood and ruffled my wet hair through it
"That is a fantastic idea puppy"
----------------------------------------------------------
Jamie bounced up and down on the armchair, June dangling from their hand. They gave out as I slowly made my way into the living room.
"Andi you're taking too long!"
I scoffed
"Excuse me Jam, you're all for helping me make dinner, but I'm left all on my own to do the cleaning"
I teased but Jamie pouted and whined at me
"I help! I do lots of helping"
I chuckled, and apologised to keep jam happy
"Aw I'm sorry pup, I love your help"
Jam jumped off the chair, their onesie clad feet padded along the ground as they ran over to me. They smashed their face into my side and I rubbed their back with another chuckle
"Come on Bambi, let's have a watch of something before bed"
They pulled at my sleep shirt.
"Oki"
Jamie hopped up on the couch and I sat down with them, adding on.
"And I've been doing some thinking"
Jamie tilted their head curiously
"If it's still raining tomorrow and we can't get down to the park, you can have some time to run around the garden-"
Jamie perked up excitedly
"Really?!"
"Yes really, but you gotta put a coat on, your rain boots, a hat and no more rolling in the mud"
Jam pouted.
"How bout a little?"
I gave them a look.
"Jamie"
"Fine!"
They fell against my side with only a small pout. A definite victory.
I turned on the TV and flicked through streaming trying to find something to watch with Jamie giving little opinions as we went.
When suddenly the TV cut out, the lamps turned off and we were plunged into darkness. Jamie yelped and I got out my phone, turning on its torch.
"God dammit, the power probably went out"
I stood up and went over to the lightswitch, flipping it a few times to no avail.
"This storm is crazy, so I guess no TV before bed-"
A distant roll of thunder made me jump and I laughed at myself.
"Ha jam, did you see that? Jumped out of my boots!"
When I received no response I shon the light where Jamie was. But I couldn't see Jamie, just a lump under a blanket.
"Jam?"
I bent down and nudged the lump
"Puppy? You ok?"
I got nothing, but could see they were shaking. Another thunder clap echoed and Jamie let out a sickening cry, beginning to shake more violently as their breathing quickened.
I immediately went to lift the edge of the blanket, barely getting a look at Jamie curled up with their hands over their ears before they screamed.
"No!"
Jam snatched the blanket back in under them. I winced and pulled back.
"Bambi I'm sorry. There's nothing to be scared of, it's just the storm cutting the power and a bit of thunder. Nothing that can hurt you"
Jamie whimpered. Before very carefully telling me through the blanket
"Too dark.. an loud, too loud. Don like Andi. Sounds like her- the th-th-thun-"
As if on the cue, thunder boomed and Jamie cried out again.
"Oh no bambi shes not here, I swear she can't get to you"
I hesitantly placed my hand on jamie back. They flinched but relaxed when i reminded them it was me. I rubbed circles and spoke soothingly to the still shaking Jamie.
"Bubba I'm sorry I can't do anything about the thunder. I sadly can't control the weather, but I can help with the dark..."
I looked at my phone light
"I'll be gone just a second Bambi, do you wanna take my phone? I'll survive without the torch-"
Jamie's hand shot out of the blanket and I handed over the phone. It was brought under the blanket with a little whisper from jam
"Be quick... Please"
"Don't worry pup, I'll be right back"
I quickly stood and went searching through cabinets in the sitting room, then the hallway, then finally the kitchen before I returned with a box of matches and a mass of candle holders. I took a large candle off the mantle and put it on the coffee table.
I struck the match and the room was illuminated in orange light. I moved it to the candles wick and blew out the march. Before standing to grab a bag of tea lights to stick in the many holders.
Some of the warm light must've gotten through the blanket as Jamie peeked out, their eyes wide and shiny but they sighed in relief when they saw the candle
"I've got a few more Bambi, we'll have it nice and bright in here. Warm too"
Jamie sniffled
"Thank you... I'm sorry"
They whimpered, bringing June into a hug.
"It's never ever a problem Bambi, you don't have to apologise"
After lighting the last few candles, and with the room thoroughly lit, I moved back over to Jamie.
They sat up and gave me back my phone before they held their hands out to me. I brought them into a big hug and they gripped my shirt.
"Don wanna go to bed"
That was fair enough
"Oh we don't have to think about bed right now Bambi, bedtimes ages away. You haven't even had your milk yet"
I joked and Jamie whined, giving me a thump. I feigned being horribly wounded and jams spirits were lifted right up. The little devil.
"So what are we gonna do if we've got no TV?"
I scratched my head before coming up with an idea.
"Why don't I warm up some milk over the stove for you Bambi, while you pick out a book? And then we go through it together?"
Jamies eyes went wide
"Star book?"
"If you want Bambi, I think there's some of your favs in the bookshelf there, and I'll get started on the milk- wait no, I'll make it two hots chocolates. We deserve it"
Jamie bounced in excitement
"Yay!"
"I can trust you not to set yourself on fire?"
Jamie nodded with a little pout, I smiled
"I knew it"
We separated with another me giving another promise to be quick. I lit the stove with a match and heated up some milk in a saucepan. I divided the milk between a small mug for me and a sippy cup for Jamie. (I considered a bottle, but it would've been a push too far tonight)
I added Coco powder to mine and the special chocolate milk mix to Jamie's, hoping it tasted nearly as good as the normal stuff. It wouldn't be exactly the same, all the fancy stupid expensive nutrients jam needed had to do something. But it had better make jam happy.
I shook up the cup till it was all mixed and sped back to the sitting room to join jam. Who sat on the couch holding a big astronomy book, rocking back forth in anticipation
"What you got there puppy?"
Jamie smiled at me and held up the book
"It's got cool pictures but the words are really small and hard, thought you could tell me what it says"
The rambled bashfully and I smiled, sitting down next to them.
"Oh definitely, that's sounds very good"
I popped my mug down and gave over Jamie's cup then took the big book. I lifted my legs up onto the couch as jam crawled into my lap, stretching out and letting Jamie lay against me.
Jam laid their head on my chest and began drinking from their sippy. I wrapped an arm around them and opened up the thick book to a random section, one with a big picture of "The Pleiades" and began reading.
Now this was nowhere near the kind of bedtime story I imagined reading to my future child, but Jamie wasn't missing a single word as I read through the remarkably informative paragraphs about the star cluster.
They were positively hooked. And while the storm in the background refused to let up, the thunder only made Jamie jump a little with an itty bitty whine before they were distracted by a picture of their milk.
We read through the stars discovery and significance through history, where and when they're visible and the neat myth behind its name before I could tell Jamie was getting sleepy. They yawned, cueing me into watch as their eyes went from attentive, to lidded, to shut in a matter of minutes.
I shut the book and waited for a shark rebuke, but none came as jam was passed out on my chest. I cradled them in my arms as I stood, leaving the books and the many candles for just a moment to transport the sleeping babe to bed.
There was a moment of fuss as I took away jams empty cup, which they still suckled on. As I pulled it out of their grip James squirmed, flexing their fingers and whining.
"Ada..Ada"
I made sure June found her way back to Jamie's hold just as their thumb replaced the absent sippy spout. I rocked them as I ascended up the stairs to their big bed.
"Shshsh puppy, nearly in bed"
I carried out the usual routine even with Jamie dead asleep. Pillows on either side, a tuck in with some sweet words and a couple back rubs before the final goodnight and I left them to finish up my nightly duties.
I blew out all the candles, drank my hot chocolate and put everything into the dishwasher. Before I could finally take myself off to bed.
It must've have gotten to far into the night before I roused once again. A terribly loud thunder clap boomed through the house and I shot up in bed. Jamie must've heard that and was probably moments away from bursting into tears and hiding under the bed.
I hastily creeped out of my room, down the hall to the guest room. I peeped my head around the door to inspect and froze at the sight before me.
The curtains of the rooms garden facing window were thrown back. Jamie was kneeling on the window box, hands up on the sill and leaning forward against the glass. June sat next to them.
I watched them shift back and forth as if anticipating something. Then it was met, by a flash of lightning lighting up the dark sky and room. Jamie squealed in delight and banged their hands on the window sill. They giggled through another boom of thunder, only flinching slightly.
They then resumed position, waiting for another flash. I watched another pass with Jamie's heart warming reaction, before knocking.
"Jambam?"
Jamie spun around, a bit scared at first but beaming once they saw it was me.
"Andi! Come 'ere!"
They excitedly beckoned me over. I rushed to join them, ecstatic seeing this side of Jamie once more.
I apparently served no service other than throne as jam immediately climbed in my lap and started waiting for another bolt. I chuckled
"What're you doing up Bambi?"
"Was looking for stars, they make dark go 'way"
"Oh do they?"
Jam nodded, not going on so I prompted
"And you saw the lightning?"
"Yeah..yeah! then I saw the lightning! It's nearly just as fun, but makes the thunder not as bad"
They squirmed, slightly embarrassed and I gave them a big hug.
"That's lovely puppy"
Jamie whined as I nuzzled the top of their head.
"Ada- Dad! Stoppp-"
Jamie suddenly stopped complaining as a distant bright flash caught their eye and they forgot about their little slip. I didn't though.
I felt he same feeling from the doctors office, unsure if Jamie really meant to call me that but soaking up the deep deep feeling of love it gave me. Did they even know what they said, would they remember tomorrow.
Right now it didn't matter and Jamie bounced in my lap, dressed in the cutest little onesie, calling me dad as we looked at the storm together. Sure it was way past both our bedtimes and I knew jam would be a pain come breakfast.
But we could look a little longer.