»heyy watcha doin'?« foolish opened alyssa's door and invited himself in. »oh just looking for video or stream ideas« she answered and spun around on her gaming chair, now facing her brother. »what's up«
»okay so you know how i said that im going to north carolina to visit karl and film some stuff?« alyssa hummed in agreement, basicly saying for him to continue. »want to come with? Karl said that from what he saw you seem nice and he wants to meet you. plus you'd be alone for like two-«
»wait are you actualy serious?« the girl got up. After noah nodded she hugged him »of course! I'd love to come. As long as he's sure tho« alyssa pulled away. »yes! He insisted for me to ask you« foolish smiled »okay thank you again« she hugged him again. »Now get out i need to pack« they both laughed and foolish closed the door behind him.
Very soon after alyssa smiled at karls reply, a notifications popped up.
She just laughed and zipped up her suitcase. Yes, they were leaving in 5 days but she wanted to be prepared earlier.
For the rest of the night, she was looking for video and stream ideas and than went to bed a little earlier than usual.
-a small timeskip-
TW: mention of death; technoblades death (o7) when u see this writting again, it will be over
The week was going by great and quickly. Everything was going great, until it wasn't. july first was one of the saddest days, not only in the fandom but in the world aswell. It is safe to say that alyssa and foolish cried the whole day. They called their friends, mostly foolish's friends to check up on them. everyone was broken and in hours, everyone went from laughing to crying. The world went quiet.
Alyssa, among other people in the fandom, used twitter to honour him and write her thoughts. She finished crying, but during writting the tweet, her eyes teared up once again. For the rest of the day she cried, with foolish by her side, his eyes teary aswell.
The siblings were suppost to leave for NC tommorow but the two and karl agreed to postpone their meeting date to next week.
For the whole week, alyssa went to bed with dried tears over her cheeks. She still cried sometimes during the day but always at night. She slowly cried less and less, but the feeling of loss was still burning in her chest.
[i am sorry but i realized that i had to add this in the story since i started adding dates. I really didn't want to but if i didn't, i would have to ignore everything that happened. I would have to write the date 02. 07. 2022 without adding that that day everyones eyes were puffy. I didn't write this in any kind of dissrespect, i wrote this to honour him and to not forget about him.]
»hey how are you holding up?« noah asked alyssa as he walked into her room with a glass of water in his hand. It has been four days since one of her role models passed and foolish knew that she had a hard time going through it.
»yeah im okay« she said sitting up and pulling her legs towards her, making space for her brother to sit down. He handed her water and she took it, drinking a little. »are you okay though?«
»i think so. At this point im numb to everything« he tried smiling. When foolish got bad news he usualy went numb, especially in loss of people he cared about. Sure, he spoke to Alexander maybe three times but he had a lot of respect, love and care pointed towards him.
Alyssa nodded to her brother and suggested for the two of them to watch a movie and try to cheer up a little. The two watched a few comedies and even laughed a little. When noah left alyssa's room, she started feeling empty again. She cried. She had too. She felt very low and remembered that a lot of her fans are going through simular stuff aswell. she opened her public snapchat and posted a light reminder to her story.
Two days later, Alyssa did as she promised.
As the ten minutes passed, telly pressed the 'go live' button, with her camera and mic turned off. She quickly went to get some water while waiting for people to pour in. When she came back in her room she at down and switched her starting soon screen, to her spotify. She unmuted and greeted the people watching.
»hi everyone. I hope you can understand why i will not have my camera on today. my eyes are still puffy and i dont really want 5 thousand people see me cry.« she let out quiet laugh.
»this is going to be a very short stream in which im gonna explain the next few weeks to you. Saturday's stream is canceled, and so are the streams for the next two weeks, as i will not be at home. i can not tell you what's happening just yet, but you will find out soon dont worry.« she stopped and took a deeper breath.
!tw: mention of technoblades death, depression and sh skip if you get triggered!
»now the most important part of this stream. As we all know, a really important person in the comunity passed less than a week ago. As i said in the tweet, a lot of you probably saw, i didn't know technoblade personaly but he had a very strong impact in my life.« she fought her need to cry.
»before and especialy during quorantine i was at a really low point in my life. I was dealing with the voices in my head telling me to just end everything every day. That's when i discovered technoblades channel. His videos cheered me up and helped keeping me distracted from everything. His streams aswell.« she cleared her throat.
»sorry« she whispered, drinking some water after. At this point mods have changed chat to emotes only and it was full of hearts.
»so that being said i obviously didn't take the news lightly. I can imagine that a lot of you found him comforting aswell so i just wanted to say that my dm's on instagram are always open to anyone that wants to talk. I know that sometimes you can't see a way out, but if you ever want to hurt yourself, please text me instead. I check my dm's every day. But, there are othere ways aswell. mods are gonna spam a few links right now. Those are the links that personaly helped me aswell in the dark times, simular to these.« she sighed, took a deep breath and continued.
!end of tw!
»with that i am going to end the stream. Thank you for all the donations, kind messeges and just listening. As i said you can turn to me for help, if you missed the links, i have all of them saved and i will link them in my twitch description aswell. thank you again. I hope you have a good night, day or morning and i will see you guys at the end of this month. Bye everyone.« she ended the stream with teary eyes.
With the little energy she had left she showered and checked up on noah. The two are leaving for NC the next day, at 5pm. They got a later flight so they can finish packing and just prepare for a more busy two weeks. After the siblings went over the plan for the following day, they both went to bed. This was the first night that alyssa didn't go to bed with teary eyes.
Ash talks:
i hope everyone is holding up okay. i know it has been a year but it still hurts talking about it. please drink some water, will you? (:
remeber that YOU ARE LOVED <3
UPDATE RIGHT AFTER THIS SO YOU CAN HOPEFULLY SMILE