Beyond the end

Waiting

Dylan and Brenda sat together in the waiting room. Mrs. Winley was supposed to be a very busy woman, the antechamber of her office was stacked with supplies and the voicemail phone rang out loudly.
They held their hands and crossed their fingers brushing each other.
"You're a sad," Dylan noticed.
"Yes, it's for Kelly and Brandon. I had no idea things were so serious."
"Come on Bren. They are not serious. They'll settle down" Dylan was trying to make the matter simpler but actually he had no idea that a breakup might be imminent either.
"That is," Brenda resumed, raising the tone a little, "she took and left with the kids, this thing sends me to the asylum"
"Bren..." Dylan tried to stop her.
"Don't put yourself on her side"
"I'm not on her side, I'm not on anyone's side"
"You don't solve things like that, you talk, you compare, Kelly instead runs away," Brenda established using more cautious tones.
"Maybe they tried to talk and it didn't work, Kelly didn't have a family like yours, as soon as there were problems in the house the mother threw herself on the coke and the father was leaving for months, that's what Kelly learned."
"Doing this mean it applies to you too?"
"I don't have anything to do with this," Dylan replied.
Brenda nodded. True. Yes, he had nothing to do with it.
"Bren.. maybe you shouldn't draw conclusions, maybe the bad guy isn't here. They found themselves in a situation they couldn't handle, but it's not over."
"I hope so, i mean I don't really know what I hope"
Dylan gave her a reproachful look that Brenda ignored.
Dr. Wiley's secretary wanked out to the Mckays to enter and plunged into the papers again.
Brandon left work earlier. He had been back a few days ago, after several failed attempts to bring Kelly home. She had taken a small apartment in a residence. The absurd thing is that she really seemed much more happy there than at home with him.
Simmons had not gave news, the loom of that news to be realized and the fear of not being able to do it, of losing his job, of having to question himself again had frustrated him, they had pushed him beyond the limit. He would have liked to rewind the tape. Pull back the words spoken and bury them.
Now he had all the time he wanted, he didn't know what to do with it. Without Grace, without Sammy and without her.
He went up the stairs and knocked on the door. Kelly opened him and gave him a shy smile.
"Hello," she told him.
"Is Grace ready?" Brandon asked.
"She fell asleep but she should wake up in minutes. Come in"
"Sammy?"
"Steve took him to basket."
"Yeah, it's Tuesday. They have the game on Sunday. And Dylan wasn't available' ?"
"Dylan had a date with your sister, for adoption"
"Ah that's true," Brandon remembered.
"Sammy would like you to come to the game. You didn't miss one during the season," Kelly told him speaking from the kitchen as she tinkered with the kettle.
"Do you want a tea?"
"No thank you" he smiled shyly.
Brandon looked at the apartment Kel had rented. It was small but tidy. The walls painted with a very light blue. A temporary accommodation.
"It's cute here"
Kel smiled "thank you"
"How's the work going?" She asked with sincere concern.
"Well," he replied, "well."
"Did they have the interwiew about the dismissal?"
"They're calling for organic reordering, every day I see someone fill a box and leave."
"But you haven't been called"
"Still no"
"Maybe you've made it in time."
Bran didn't answer the question.
"What about you?"
"The CU gave me the chance to work from home and organize courses for the fall. The appointments for the conferences were canceled but it doesn't matter, they understood the situation and I had almost finished the calendar. They replaced me with Macgragor."
Brandon was staring at her. Standing, alone. He looked at her in a way that she couldn't support.
"Kel..." he whispered.
"Please don't. That's okay," she said, anticipating any matter, "I'm not ready to go back to live with you. Not now."
This hurt Brandon deeply but he still approached her "Kel look at me" he told her and she looked at him.
"I'm sorry for the discussions, for leaving that night, for whatever he said, I'm sorry for everything, please, you can't raise Grace here, let's go home together, what's the point of living apart. I love you, I love everything about you. I like to see you in the morning near me. Can you honestly tell me that's not what you want too?"
Kel's eyes were moistened with tenderness and anger.
"I'm not sure I want the same thing you want," she replied, "I'm confused. I think some time apart can do us good."
"No.. Kel" he clung to her hands briefly "we can fix things, tell me you love me"
Kel didn't answer and they were interrupted by Grace's crying.
Seconds followed that seemed endless.
Kelly didn't move, Brandon was on the verge of a precipice. He lowered his eyes, surrendered by Kel's non-response that was already an answer. Now he distinctly felt the anger. It was Brandon who went to Grace's. He took her, dressed it carefully.
Kelly looked out shortly after and watched Brandon gently handle the daughter who, as always, had given him her smile. Brandon felt her presence. He could smell it white from a distance. She knew by heart every movement she was making at the time. How she bent her head. In what position were her hands.
He didn't turn around.
"Come back home Kel, I'll be the one to leave, okay? I don't want Grace to live here, the kids have all their things, I'm leaving," he told her.
"You don't have to do it"
Brandon ran a thumb over his eyes pulling away a tear that was going up fast. The sense of loss, the subtle pain and disbelief that were mounted in him.
"I bought that house for you and the kids. Come home, be the one to go"
"I'll think about it, okay?"
"Do you promise me?"
"Yes, of course," she replied.
Brandon pulled Grace up and held her tight. He avoided contact with her. He couldn't stand anything.
"I'll take it back to you around seven tonight" and that's the only thing he said before leaving the apartment. Without turning around. Kel felt the emptiness. Something went up quickly. She couldn't stand him not looking at her. Coldness crushed her against a wall. She moved to stop him, to tell him what she wanted to say to him but she hadn't said and she didn't know why either, but felt the door slam and she stood in the room.
Mrs Winley was a middle-aged lady, she was wearing a worn suit in a soft purple. She reminded Mrs. Teasley a little bit. The principal of the high school. He dwelled a lot on reporting on the delays and procedures for international adoption and for bringing Blanca to the United States. Relations with Ecuador were good but not idyllic.
"Sure," she said, "your economic situation is I would say beyond expectations, but you will have to undergo psychological talks, as a couple and separated, and Blanca will do the same in Ecuador. The fact that you already have a relationship with the little girl could be a double-edged sword."
"In what sense?"
"It devours integration but it can also distort relationships. In short, it's something we need to take care of. With your adoption the little girl would become an American citizen and immigration always wants to see us very clearly."
Brenda shook Dylan's hand and he gave her a simple smile.
"I don't think there will be any problems," Brenda whispered happily.
Dylan showed the same enthusiasm. The guilt for what had happened massacred him and devoured him like a slow monster. He would do anything to see her happy. When he had seen happiness in her eyes at the mere idea of being able to take Blanca with him he had not been able to find anything to say to oppose.
"There is another couple for Blanca. This was written to me by the Ecuador office" revealed Winey "an Ecuadorian couple".
"We knew the custody had gone wrong"
"That's exactly what's wrong, you know things you shouldn't know because the place where Blanca is located is her property Mr Mckay. We might even think of having to find a more suitable place in Blanca."
"No!" Exclaimed Brenda alarmed only at the idea "There will be no problem. We will undergo all the interviews you want and we will try to limit contact with Blanca during this period but please do not take her out of where she is. That's not fair."
Winley took an eye on her eyes and turned the papers of Blanca's practice at the same time.
"The file is complete for us," she replied, closing the file, "we will schedule the interviews for you as soon as possible. That's all."
Brenda and Dylan stood up at the same time giving that woman a smile of hope she had probably seen in hundreds of faces during her career in that Office.
Dylan put an arm around Brenda's shoulders. They were heading together towards the exit. She felt much lighter. SHe saw no obstacles, she felt that something in her life could change forever. She felt the love of her partner who flanked her in the steps that took them out of those offices.
He held on to her. She rested her head on his chest while they were still walking. It was just the beginning of a path. A first step. A deep footprint.
"I have a project..."
'Which one?' She said mischievously.
"Exactly that," he said, kissing her deeply, "you and I are now going to take a nice hot bath, so that Mrs. Winley can't say that we are not a united couple."
"Yes, of course, that's why you do it," Brenda said.
'Certainly'
"After that we go to the studios"
"Okay," Brenda nodded.
"And if you want to talk to Kelly we can go through it."
This thought shivered Brenda "you were doing so well."
"Let's go Bren let's try to understand or we can go by your brother."
The air was still hot and it tasted like sea and new things.