Beyond the end

Chapter 10. Paper heart.

London.

Brenda came home and found Dylan sitting on the couch. He was backlit. You would have recognized that unmistakable profile in the midst of a million.

He hadn't noticed his return. He was focused on reading, Brenda approached his back. She was reading her scripts, scattered on the couch like leaves, the furious scripts of Brenda's night, her plans to become a theater screenwriter.

"What are you doing?"

Dylan smiled without looking at her, he knew she would get angry.

" What are they?"

"Nothing," replied, reaching out her hand to take off his papers.

But Dylan was faster than her and with a quick click shunned them out of her reach.

"This story is very familiar to me..."

"Yeah," Brenda sighed, jumping on the couch next to him, "I love being an actress, but sometimes I have the inspiration, at night I start writing and this is one of the first jobs I did, I know it seems trivial to you"

"It's not trivial at all," he smiled and he, "maybe because it's a story that's familiar to me, maybe because I don't have to invent the characters, I've seen them, I've lived them"

"Anyway," Brenda snorted, "for now it's just a dream."

" Why? It's a good job."

"I sent the producer this script months ago but I never got an answer, maybe he didn't like it"

"Are you sure you received it?"

"Safe"

This time it was Brenda the fastest one and managed to pull away the sheets "I don't like me spying on my work, I never look in your cards"

He touched Dylan's pc and notes with his fingers for days now on the living room table.

"Did you call your son?"

"Yes this afternoon, before he went to school."

"How is Kelly?"

"Kelly barely talks, she's angry"

"Rightly," Brenda pointed out.

He didn't answer.

"Dylan've been here for a few weeks now, let's spend time together, take me to rehearsals, come and see the shows, go out for dinner with JT, walk on the Thames, make love at night, use our bodies to try to fill the void, I don't ask you questions and you don't give me answers

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about"

Brenda felt the anger mounting, he was leaving, warning him, feeling it from his gaze. He blurted out.

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Dylan, I promised myself not to let you into my life anymore, but every time you show up at the door I can't help but open it, to let you enter my house, my soul, my bed, all my days, and I always live with the fear that first then you will leave, it's no longer a matter Alone, but I certainly don't need you to destroy it again"

"Oh my God, what kind of problems do you have, I'm here, I'm here now, can't we live in the moment? I only stayed for too long to be able to make such long-term plans."

"Don't try Dylan, don't try it," Brenda haught up, "you haven't been alone for a long time, you've had me, you've had your friends, Kelly, Sammy, my family, you've had so many people who have loved you deeply and that you've loved deeply, this is not loneliness, it's your choice. It seems that when you are asked for an extra step you feel a noose tightening around your neck. Do you want to know what loneliness is? Loneliness is not having one of choice, it is having left so as not to have to see pain in the face anymore, loneliness is having spent days and days writing letters never sent, loneliness is not alone in tragedy. Loneliness is your brother around the world who realizes his life and calls you every now and then, who visits you every now and then, who you would like to take you back in time. You who would like to bring you back and I couldn't."