I watched Jamie stab their fork into another halved potato and try to cram it all into their mouth. I sighed and chided for what must have been the 3rd time this dinner
"Jam stop trying to eat all that at once, you're gonna choke if you don't cut it up and I assure you choking isn't fun"
Jam put the potato down with a frown and focused instead on the shredded chicken, moving alot easier through that.
We continued eating our dinner without much other talk, just listening to quiet kitchen radio and savouring our delicious roast.
Sadly though I had to break the comfortable silence between us with news.
"Bambi there's actually something we need to talk about"
Jam froze mid-chew of a mouthful of carrots and looked at me innocently. I could practically see them cooking up insane defences for the crimes I hadn't discovered yet.
I first assured them
"It's nothing serious bambi-"
Jam sighed in relief, their no doubt air tight defence saved for another time.
"-I just have to go into work tomorrow to drop off a few things and have a meeting about.. well... You jam"
Jamie Frowned
"Why?"
"Oh it's stupid bureaucratic stuff that I have to get sorted"
I poured more gravy on my food and tried to think of the simplest way to put it for jam.
"Basically I need to prove to cps that I can get adequate parental leave with a steady pay. But to get that I need proof I have adopted or am adopting, which I can't get without proof of parental leave-"
I realised my simplified version wasn't a whole lot simpler and therefore going right over Jamie's head as they stared blankly at me and nodded.
I broke it down even further
"Double basically, I need to prove to my job you exist"
Jamie was absolutely baffled by this
"What why?"
"Cause some people are stupid and evil, and try to lie to get some paid time off work, and now I suffer the consequences"
Jamie smiled at my funny little complaints. So I continued.
"So I need to go in and show my boss some notes from Dr eggleston that prove you're not just a scheme by me to scam the company out of millions, probably trillions of dollary doos"
Jamie sniggered
"Dollary doos"
They echoed, giggling and kicking their legs as they took another bite of food.
I smiled and tried to steer the conversation to my main point
"But the thing is Jam, I don't wanna leave you home alone. I'm sorry bambi, I know you've done it before but I'm just not ok with it right now. And I don't think I can get Tom in- so unless you'd be ok with my mom-"
"No!"
Jamie immediately jutted in to protest, as expected. Despite the magic regression blanket and kind words, jam was still very weary of my mom.
"That's alright, but you're gonna have to come to the office with me Jambam. What do you think of that?"
Jamie just sort of shrugged and continued eating
"Jam I'd like to know what you're thinking"
Jamie groaned, putting down the fork and then mumbling
"It's fine I guess"
"You guess?"
"Yeah... Am I gonna have to be like pretending to be a kid so y-youre job thinks I'm real?"
I almost laughed at how out of nowhere Jamie's concern was, assuming they were joking. But a very serious look told me they were not.
I was quick to rebuff Jamie's idea
"Jam you just have to be yourself, act however makes you comfortable"
Jamie nodded as they took that in
But their worries weren't over just there.
"Are people gonna be weird to me?"
"What do you mean weird hun?"
Jamie whined
"I dunno, like are they gonna treat me weird or small? Cuz I don't want that"
They looked down all ashamed and I frowned, seeing I needed to immediately squash any possible shame brewing
But I didn't want to give them false hope either
"Jam I'm gonna be honest, people at my work know I've been wanting to adopt for a while. So they may initially think to treat you littler than you are, but I'll let them know right away you are not to treated any different from any other person, ok?"
Jamie shrugged again, still looking down at their plate.
"Ok"
I decided to sweeten the deal
"And~ if anyone says anything that makes you feel ashamed, which you should never be jam, you let me know and I'll have a little talk with them"
I mimed a couple of punches, turning Jamie's mood as they tried to cover up a smile and a few giggles.
We went on with our food, Jamie going for potato and getting the same results as they did earlier.
I just sighed with a smile, finally realizing Jamie wasn't gonna do anything about the potatoes themselves
"Plate please bambi-"
Jamie hestiantly pushed the plate towards me and I swiftly cut the potatoes up into smaller, Jamie-chomp sized pizza
Jamie blushed, but didn't stop me.
------------------------------------------------------
"Andi?"
I stood in the doorway of Andis office and pulled his attention away from the last few documents he was loading up into leather bag. He turned around as I fiddled anxiously with my bag straps.
"Yeah bambi, what's up?"
I stepped in towards him.
"Do I have to be in the meeting with your job about me, cause thinking about it is making me all.."
I pulled at my fingers as I tried find the right word
"..nervous. And I don't like that"
"Oh jam no, you don't have to sit in with us, there's plenty of couches you can wait on or you could even sit at my desk if you'd prefer that"
I nodded, taking a breath of relief.
"I'd like that-"
I edged closer to Andi and before he could ask I threw my arms around his waist in a tight hug.
"-Thanks Andi"
He was momentarily stunned but recovered and wrapped his arms around me to reciprocate the hug.
"It's never a problem jam and thank you for telling me, that was a really smart thing to do, now-"
Andrew reached over, closing his bag and taking it over his shoulder
"Are you ready?"
I nodded, everything I needed was in my bag, bar chase but he wouldn't fit and was waiting at the end of the stairs.
Andi kept a hand on my back as we walked down to the door. I picked chase up as we passed him and we made it out of the house. We reached the car but Andi stopped me before I could go for my door.
"Hold on jam, you remember what I said about the car seat?-"
I gulped, thinking about Andi saying how necessary it was and that he could get in trouble or I could get hurt, and nodded to him.
"-And you riding up front without it was ok for a time but since we've got the car seat now... We have to start using it"
He opened up the front passenger door and there already fixed in was the car seat. Paw patrol cover and everything.
Andi had installed it just after we'd bought it but we hadn't needed the car for anything till now, the park being a walk away. I stared at it with a shakey frown as Andi tried to make it seem better, speaking so kindly and exuding real care and patience for me.
"Luckily Bambi, we can safely sit this model in the front seat so we're not sacrificing your safety or your spot in the car"
I
hummed, having to move into the backseat would've definitely pushed me over the edge. But I still made no move towards the seat.
Andi sat down on the edge of the car and motioned for me to come to him. I dug my hands into Chase and shook my head.
"N-no, m'not a baby"
Andi gave me a sympathetic smile and encouraged me
"Just to me Bambi, come here"
I let out a stupid whimper as I walked over to Andi. He put his hand under my armpits and brought me onto his knee, making me blush and giving me a good view of the car seat. A view I definitely didn't want so I turned my face away, stubbornly refusing to look at the seat.
"Hey how'd you think chase feels you won't even look at a seat covered in him"
I whipped my head back to Andi, annoyed at even the suggestion I made Chase feels bad. But now that I was looking, Andi was pointing one of the dogs printed on the seat cover. But it wasn't even chase!
"Not chase, that's Rubble"
I murmured and swiped Andis hand away from the dog.
"Oh so if that's rubble, then this is Chase"
He pointed yet again to another wrong dog.
"No! That's skye!"
In exasperation I thrust my own Chase up at Andis face, hitting him and saying
"Andi this is Chase!"
Andi pushed the teddy out of his face
"I see Jamie I see, but do you know where he is on the seat? I can't see him"
I looked anxiously to the seat, chase had to be on the print if the other pups were. I strained my neck to get a better look then squirmed forward
"Here bambi-"
Andi boosted me up onto the seat, and I yelped but quickly got to searching for Chase.
I twisted and turned in the seat till finally I pointed triumphantly to the side closest to the door.
"There! Andi it's chase, look look"
Andi stood up and looked to where I was pointed
"Wow good job Bambi, I didn't see that at all"
I smiled proudly to myself, but then it suddenly hit me that I was sitting in the chair. My face must've changed as Andi immediately went for the comforts
"Jamie, Jamie listen to me for a second"
I paid better attention to Andi but maneuvered myself so as little of myself as possible was touching the seat.
"Relax"
He said simply as he took my backpack off me, placing it at my feet.
"W-what?"
"Bambi just sit back, shut your eyes and try not to think about it, try Bambi"
I frowned but listened to him and leaned back in the chair, properly sitting in it.
Andi calmly asked
"How's it feel?"
I wiggled a bit and found out something devastating. The chair was incredibly comfortable. I scowled but admitted
"Fine"
"Have you instantly turned into a baby just by sitting in it?"
I opened my eyes and glared at Andi, adding on a begrudging
"No"
"So do you think you'll survive the short trip to the office"
I looked away from Andi and shrugged, he sighed
"And because you're being so so good about the seat Bambi, id say some ice cream is in order for the way home~"
I gasped and hugged chase excitedly
"Really?"
"Definitely Bambi, so how about we get you buckled up. The sooner we get through the office, the sooner we get that sweet sweet ice-cream"
I just decided to let Andi do it, the ice-cream was too good to risk putting up a fuss over a seatbelt. Except it wasn't just a seatbelt, evident by the multiple fucking straps that Andi had to pull out.
I couldn't help from whining and squirming. But Andi soldiered on, unfazed by my wiggling. He brought the straps to connect at 2 separate points on me, keeping me very secure. Though it all seemed a bit excessive to me
But the worst was yet to come as Andi pulled the final strap out from under my legs, connecting that up as well and tightening everything.
It was absolutely demeaning. Andi tried his best to comfort me
"Oh I know Hun, but it's keeping you safe and me out of jail"
And then Andi backed up and shut the car door, leaving me briefly alone with my thoughts as he crossed over.
I tried to wriggle and kick my legs, maybe to loosen the straps a bit, but with the crotch strap it only served to remind me of the second most babyish thing about me, the pullup.
Every movement I made, I couldn't stop thinking about it. By the time Andi finally got into the car, my bottom lip was wobbling and I was trying to keep my breaths steady. I just felt so terrible about it all.
Andi was about to put in his own belt when he noticed my upset
"Oh puppy-"
He reached over and pushed hair out of my eyes
"You're ok, I swear it's ok Jamie"
I shook my head
"I know! But doesn't feel like it"
I could see I really pulled at Andis heartstrings as he took a breath and leaned over to me.
Andi put his forehead to mine, with one arm trying to hug me as much as he could, what with me strapped into the horrible seat.
"You are so brave bambi. You don't even know how insanely proud of you I am. I would be broken 10 times over if I was in your place, but it's you, and you're doing so well Jamie"
Andi had turned into such sap with all of this, but I didn't mind much. His corny praise keeps me fighting.
I wanted to hug Andi back but chase was awkwardly squished between us and it made it quite hard. I whined and pushed chase to Andi again.
"Don't want chase, want June"
Andi took chase off me
"Whatever you need to stay brave bambi, I'm gonna put chase in the backseat so he has some room to himself"
Chase was put in the back then June was brought out from my bag. I took and hugged her gratefully. She was so good for anxious hugs.
"Oh!"
Andi exclaimed suddenly, obviously having thought of a little teaching moment as he reached into the back
"I'm gonna put chases seatbelt on bambi, so Chase has his belt, I've got a seat belt, June's got you holding onto her and you've got the seat keeping you safe"
I ran June's ears through my fingers as I pondered what Andi said. It definitely made sense and I like it when chase does stuff with me. Sometimes Andi lets him eat dinner with us.
I was so concentrated on whether or not I was gonna allow the car seat to continue existing that I didn't even notice the car had started moving and we were already quite a bit far from the house.
I decided to watch out the window and pretend I wasn't in the stupid thing as Andi turned on the radio. The constant reminder of my pull-up wasn't nice but the plush headrests on either side and gentle rocking of the car made for a quite relaxing ride.
I even found my eyes nodding shut a bit while I snuggled up with June. And soon enough Andi was pulling up to the side of a street id never seen before.
"Here we are Jamie! How are you feeling now?"
He turned off the car and waited for me to respond.
"Ok...Want out"
"Don't worry bambi, I'm coming around now"
Andi said as he got out of the car and crossed over. I instinctually went to open my own door but was pulled back by the car seat. I grunted and tried again, pulling hard at the straps trying to get it to disconnect but only ending up frustrated.
Looks like that's the end to my jumping out of the car prematurely, I'm sure Andis thrilled.
Andi opened up my door and I showed him how much I hated the situation with a hard stare. And he had the audacity to chuckle.
"Let's get you outta there bambi-"
He bent over me and easily released the infernal locking contraption. Then offered me his hand. I took it and he helped me jump out of the car myself.
"See, no big deal jam"
I gave him another glare, he raised his hands innocently then handed me my backpack from the car. I stuffed June inside and slung it over my shoulder.
As Andi grabbed his own bag he asked me
"Jamie are you gonna bring Chase in with you?"
I flushed, initially that had been my plan, to have backup from both June and Chase. But I figured out that Chase wasn't exactly conspicuous. I loved him, but I don't think I could pretend to be much older while holding a massive stuffed dog.
"No, he's gotta watch the car"
Andi nodded.
"Ok we'll keep the window rolled down for him"
He shut the car door and pointed me in the direction of a relatively big office building.
"That's the place"
Andrew rambled about the building as we walked towards it. I instinctively stuck in close to Andi as we got closer and he stopped to ask me
"Hun, you wanna hold my hand?"
I didn't answer, just grabbing his closest hand and starting forward.
Andi rubbed my hand with his thumb
"So so brave, you're doing great bambi"
He whispered to me as we walked in.
We were greeted by a gargantuan sculpture in the foyer, Andi shook his head at it.
"Nobody likes this thing Jamie, nobody knows what it is and nobody understands why it's here and we have to walk past it every morning. It's an eyesore!"
Andi complained in an exaggerated way and made me laugh. The twisted bean shaped thing was metal and distorted our reflections as we walked past it. I laughed again and reached out to touch it.
Andi stopped and let me take a minute to just mess around with how I looked, making faces and laughing at the fun house like mirroring.
"Well I guess that's what its for"
Andi chuckled and I retook his hand. We walked to a elevator and waited for the doors to open.
In we went and Andi selected the third floor, before explaining
"We share this building with alot of other companies bambi, but the third floor is our stomping ground"
I nodded while swinging our hands absentmindedly back and forth.
The elevator pinged and we were brought out onto a fairly quiet floor, a collection of desks with people at computers on one side while the other was couches and a lead into a kitchen where people milled about a chatted.
A few people looked up from their posts and took notice of us till another door opened and a woman stepped out, followed by a rather intimidating looking man. Everyone turned away and pretended to be busy.
He was tall, bald and wore a fancy suit. Andi also seemed a little unnerved as he tightened his grip on my hand and pulled me slightly closer. The woman who had stepped out noticed and smiled, obviously eager to pull someone else into conversation.
"Oh Andrew! It's great to see you, I'll be with you in a moment I just finishing with- actually come here"
She seemed a bit frazzled as she beckoned us both forward.
We met halfway and she talked to the large man
"Mr Stone, this is Andrew Hearth-"
I paused for a moment, thinking it was the first time I heard Andis last name. But that couldn't be right that'd be pretty weird (author sweats)
"-he has been the one handling your recent venture"
Andi put on a voice id never heard him use, full of fake enthusiasm and charm.
"Ah the pharmaceuticals project, it's been a dream to work on really"
The man smiled but it conveyed nothing postivite as he extended a hand to Andrew, who shook it.
"Fantastic work you've been producing Mr Hearth really, but now I hear that you're now unavailable and I'm being transferred to someone else. Quite disappointing actually"
Andi laughed awkwardly
"Well yes sadly I am unavailable for the minute"
Suddenly the man focused on me, turning his head and looking down at me with a creepy smile
"And who's this?"
Andi let go of my hand and brought his arm around my shoulder, gently encouraging me to step forward.
"Well this is my reason for being unavailable actually, Jamie. I've been looking after them for the past while"
Andi rubbed my shoulder and introduced me
"Jam this is my boss, Mrs McHugh and I've been doing some work for Mr Stone here"
"H-hey"
I tried my best to sound as fine as possible but I couldnt stop my voice from quivering under Mr Stones stare. It seemed so knowing, like he could see right through me and was trying to pick apart the best way to make me cry. I hoped that was just my anxiety exaggerating things but everyone seemed to be put off by him.
The silence between us was deafening and I could feel Andi pulling me protectively closer. Thankfully though it was broken by Andis boss, who directed the scary man to the elevator
"Well Andrew I'll be in with you in a moment, I'm just finished with Mr Stone here"
"Lovely to meet you Mr Stone"
Andi kept up his customer service voice through gritted teeth and the man nodded
"I hope to see you again soon Mr Hearth, and Bye bye Jamie"
He waved to me and nervously reciprocated after him.
"B-bye"
As soon as he was past us Andi sighed
"Im sorry Bambi, that is not our nicest client. You ok?"
I brushed off Andi
"Yeah I'm fine, w-why wouldn't I be?"
Andi looked like he wanted to say something about my shielding but let it go. He walked us across the room towards the desks
"So you gonna be ok waiting at my desk? You have books and everything?"
I nodded, I had two books in my bag to look through.
I was hoping to slot in amoung the others in the office and cause no stir but the interaction with Andis boss had inevitably drawn attention. As we passed people would look up from their work and say hello to Andi, with mostly waves to me.
Andi was definitely well liked in his office and it felt like I was too, even though I'd never met a single person there everyone was smiling at me. It felt weird but I pretended to be uncaring as Andi finally brought me to his desk.
It was connected onto another woman's desk opposite, she looked up hearing us coming and beamed.
"Andrew! Hey it's been so long"
She stood and walked around to chat. She had braided black hair and a mossy coloured jumper.
"I thought you were taking some time off but you came in clutch finishing that work for the Stone guy. Fucking weirdo-"
She murmured under her breath but her eyes widened as she noticed me hidden against Andi and tried to cover up
"Freaking! I meant freaking, I don't have to put anything in the swear jar!"
I shrugged and moved away from Andi, forcing myself not to rely on him.
"You can say fuck in front of me, I'm no narc"
Andi gave me a disapproving look, but I grinned as the woman started laughing.
Andi sighed
"Jamie this is Diane, she's the world's best project partner but also an absolute menace. I think you'll get on well"
Diane smiled at me, I regarded her warily. Andi pulled out his chair for me and I sat down. He got one of my books, this one had pictures of trees and tiny words. Not as good as stars, but I wanted something different.
"Andrew! I'm finally ready for you"
Andis boss called to him from her office door. He gave her a thumbs up then turned back to me
"Ok Jamie, I won't be long. You stay here, annoy Diane if you need anything, and we'll have our ice-cream in no time"
I smiled and nodded. Andi gave me a quick hug and walked off, following his boss into the office.
I got straight into ignoring Diane and focusing on my tree book. But it was alot more boring than I thought it would be and as time passed I kept getting a weird feeling in my tummy, but I didn't know what it was.
I squirmed and hoped it would go away.
I looked up and saw Diane looking at me. I jumped and she smiled. She analysed me a second longer then said.
"Jamie dressed like you've got to have an eye for design, come over here I've got a job for you"
I was wearing my dinosaur hoodie, so she wasn't wrong. I walked over to her.
She stood up and let me sit in her chair. I looked over her desk, she had a computer like everyone else but also a tablet thing.
"Why'd you have this?"
"I handle all sorts of designs, like logos. So I get a drawing tablet"
I looked around more, noticing some squiggly drawings tacked to her computer
"Did you draw that?"
Diane laughed
"No no no, my son drew that and these were my daughters. Here they are-"
She pointed to the different pages all about then finally a photo of 3 kids a boy and 2 girls. Her desk was covered in family photos and drawings.
Andis desk was so empty in comparison.
Diane brought my attention back.
"I need some help with colours"
She messed with stuff on the screen and took away the really complicated design she was working on and brought up a picture of a cartoon cow.
"Now you just tap this colour wheel anywhere, then tap a section to colour it"
I experimentally tapped on a purple colour then on the grass, it filling with purple. I looked to Diane to check I was doing it right
"Very funky Jamie, go on keep going"
I smiled, colouring in made me feel nice. So loosey goosey, that I forgot about the feeling in my tummy.
I filled out the cow picture with loads of cool colours and Diane congratulated me. Then gave me another one, this one a dragon.
I liked Diane, she was nice. I started talking a bit more
"I thought you guys were gonna be weird here"
"Fair enough we are pretty weird, but with the memo Andrew sent around weve kept it in check"
I stopped
"What memo?"
"Oh just an email saying he was coming in with you today, nobody be weird, leave my kid be. That sorta thing"
I froze... Andi called me his kid. I didn't know what to make of that. It made me all fluttery but the flutters made me nervous.
And then I remembered the feeling in my tummy, and realised what it meant. I needed to pee.
Really really bad.
I shot up dead straight in the chair and frantically asked Diane
"W-where's the bathroom?!"
She looked concerned
"Just over there, are you ok sweetie?"
I jumped off the chair
"Fine!"
I stumbled as I ran, sure everyone in the office was staring at me as I dashed for the bathroom. I reached the end of the hall and ran into the doors of the unisex bathroom. But bounced of it as it was locked.
My blood ran cold
"No no no no"
I jiggled the handle and whimpered, then going to grip between my legs. I couldn't hold out much longer.
The door finally opened and I pushed past the person exiting but was too late. Just as I locked it I could feel warmth pooling and my pull up beginning to sag as my body betrayed me and pissed itself.
I tried to cry out but it was strangled and didn't sound like anything. Tears fell one after the other and I collapsed down onto the ground and began sobbing. I was pathetic, crying and sitting in my pee like a stupid baby.
When a gentle knock came on the door.
"Jam? Bambi you in there?"
I turned, cringing hard at the wet pullup. I called out in a broken voice
"Andi?"
"Yeah Bambi, Andis right here. Can you open the door for me hun?"
I struggled to stand, sniffling and wiping at my snotty face as I reached for the door. I unlocked it and Andi came charging in.
He was down on his knees in an instant and pulled me into his arms. I sobbed and tried to explain myself.
"Andi I didn't mean to!"
"I know puppy"
"I didn't even know!"
"Oh my poor pup"
He rubbed my back as I sobbed into his chest.
"Let's get you out of this wet thing, it's gonna be ok. Andis got you"
I lifted my head in confusion to see Andi was taking a spare pullup and wipes out of his bag. I whined, seeing Andi had expected me to wet myself but knowing without him I'd be left wallowing in my own filth.
He also took out June, giving her to me to distract myself.
Andi managed to get me to stand, and shimmied my shorts down. He whispered simple instructions as he changed me.
"Step out Bambi, good job"
"Ok just gonna be a bit cold, well done"
"Now step in, so good Bambi, so good"
Andi pulled up the dry pullup and got me back into my shorts. I was still crying. Andi rubbed my back and took something out of his bag.
"Diane showed me the designs you were working on. I think they're really cool jam"
"Really?"
"Definitely"
I looked to see Andis holding a print out of my coloured in dragon. I whimpered in confusion.
"Where's cow?"
"Oh, I saw that one too Bambi, it was so good. And your first step into design too, so it's hanging proudly on my desk"
That sentiment, surpassed all of my embarrassment as imense pride bloomed in my chest. Then Andi made it even better
"And Jamie, you've done so much hard work today. I think you deserve your ice cream and a cookie after dinner. We can pick up your favourites on the drive home"
More tears welled up in my eyes from the entire situation, but it didn't matter. I threw my arms around Andis neck and hugged him tight. Without hesitation, he hugged me back.