Y/N was downstairs in the basement one day resting in his bed. He had just found the ultimate sleeping spot and was ready to sleep but just as he began to drift off, he was awoken by a loud argument coming from upstairs.
Anne: Look, dude, all I'm saying is that where I'm from you could get arrested for having a couch this firm.
Hop Pop: Back in my day we didn't have furniture. We sat on rocks. Sharp ones.
Y/N covered his head with a pillow, trying to snuff the noise out.
Anne: Ok. But if I get butt blisters, I'm blaming you.
Hop Pop: Back in my day we called those "character."
As the day went on, Y/N had emerged from the basement as his peace was disturbed. He went out to help Hop Pop, Anne and Sprig with the chores. Sprig was raking the grass and Y/N was using his claws to cut down hedges. Anne walked out the front door carrying a box of turnips.
Anne: So ... heavy.
Hop Pop: Mind the flagstone.
Anne tripped on the flagstone on her way down the stairs and fell, emptying the box of turnips on the floor. Hop Pop started collecting the turnips.
Hop Pop: Back in my day, kids spent less time complainin' and more time watching their step.
Anne: Yeah? Well, where I'm from people fixed their crummy houses.
Hop Pop gasped.
Hop Pop: This house is like family! You apologise!
Anne: To a house?
Y/N groaned in frustration at their constant bickering. Later that day, he was sat downstairs in the living room playing cards with Polly.
Y/N: Got any 4's?
Polly: Snap?
Y/N: Do you even know how to play cards?
Polly: Do you?
Y/N stared at the round sentient ball.
Y/N: Touché.
A loud thud came from the upstairs bathroom.
Anne: Where I'm from, we didn't rush people in the bathroom!
There came another loud thud.
Hop Pop: Well, back in my day we didn't have a bathroom!
There was another thud.
Anne: Stop hitting the door with a battering ram!
Hop Pop: It's been two hours!
Y/N threw down his cards in frustration and screamed.
Y/N: I can't take it anymore!
Polly: They're just getting used to each other. It's not a big deal.
Y/N: All this shouting! It's driving me up the wall!
At that time, Y/N had clung to the wall with his claws. He let himself go and fell onto the couch.
Y/N: Ok wow, yeah thats a firm couch. My point is, it all has to stop otherwise nothing is gonna get done around here! If we don't do something now it won't be long before their bickering tears this family apart.
Polly: I still think we should just give them time. Not like we have a lot of options. You can't force people to get along.
Polly's sentence had just given Y/N an idea. His eyes narrowed and a devilish smirk came across his face.
Y/N: Of course not, Polly.
He slowly backed away out of the living room.
Y/N: Of course not.
He left around the corner and peaked back.
Y/N: Of course-
Polly: Just go already!
Y/N quickly left and ran into the corn field. When he was sure nobody was looking he took his claws and chopped down some of the corn plants leaving only stubs in the ground. He snickered to himself and ran to the lake by the back door where the Plantars and Anne were sat.
Y/N: We've been robbed!
Hop Pop: Say what?
Anne laughed a bit at Hop Pop's overemphasis of his shock.
Anne: Sorry. Sorry. It's just that Hop Pop delivered the perfect sitcom catch phrase.
Hop Pop: Must be painful to make so little sense all the time.
Y/N took them all out into the corn field and showed them the chopped down corn plants.
Hop Pop: My prize-winning corn!
Anne: You've won prizes?
Hop Pop: It's an expression, Anne. What are you, the fact police?
Y/N: The injustice! The outrage! Someone must catch this thief!
Hop Pop: Agreed! You know, it's very nice to see you this passion about something, Y/N.
Polly: Yes. Very odd.
Y/N: If this villain steals once, it'll steal again. The only way to catch this crook is a stakeout!
Sprig: I like steak.
Hop Pop: Good idea.
Anne: Ok.
Y/N: And the only ones who can do it are ... Anne and Hop Pop!
Anne: Say what?
Hop Pop: Huh?
Y/N: Well Sprig can't do it because he has the attention span of a goldfish.
Y/N pointed over to Sprig who was distracted by a passing butterfly.
Sprig: What? What're you guys talking about?
Anne: Why not Hop Pop and Polly? Seems like a winning combo to me.
Hop Pop: Polly's a baby, Anne.
Anne: Just asking, Hop Pop. Ugh. What about you and I, Y/N? Y/Anne against the world, right?
Y/N: I'm busy tonight.
Anne scoffed.
Anne: Doing what?
Y/N: I am eepy. I have had a long day of splashing bandits and I want to take a small sleeb. I eeby and neebie to sleepy. I am sleeby and need bed by time. I have come down with symptoms of being a sleevjy little guy and I must go to beb. I am ver tired and needs to go to bleb. Just a little sleejing time as a treat. Also we both know if we both do it then we'll be too distracted with humorous teenage shenanigans to concentrate.
Hop Pop: Very well. Let's be honest though. Anne'll probably fall asleep and it'll just be me.
Anne: Why would I fall asleep first? Aren't you like 100 years old?
Hop Pop: I'm a crisp 68!
They disappeared into the corn together leaving only the Plantar kids and Y/N.
Polly: You stole the corn, didn't you?
Y/N: Oh absolutely. But now those two have to spend the whole night together and bond!
Sprig: You do realise that this is insane, right?
Polly: Yeah, Y/N. You can't just manipulate people like this!
Y/N: I can and I did. And it's going to save this family.
That night Sprig, Polly and Y/N were all in Sprig's room. Sprig rummaged around under his bed and took out a telescope and positioned it on the windowsill.
Sprig: Here, now you can look at what they're doing.
Y/N peered down his telescope and looked out at Anne and Hop Pop sitting behind a rock wall that looked over the corn field.
Y/N: Watch closely children. You're about to see the flowers of friendship bloom.
He kept watching throughout the night. At one point, they seemed to be getting along and laughing with each other.
Y/N: It's working! The cogs of fate are in commotion.
He looked back out at them through the telescope and saw that they were once again arguing.
Y/N: No, no! This can't be! They're fighting again.
Polly: Oh no. What a surprise.
Y/N groaned and threw aside the telescope.
Y/N: But worry not tiny frogs. I have just the plan!
Y/N ran out of Sprig's room and to a closet as the Plantar children followed him.
Sprig: Wait, you don't mean-
Y/N: Oh that's right, Sprig. I'm going to steal more corn right under their noses!
He took out a hat and cloak and dressed himself in his disguise.
Y/N: They'll do this tomorrow night, and the night after that, and the night after that and every night until they're the bestest of friends ever and this family shan't be broken for much longer!
Polly: You're mad!
Y/N: Just try and stop me!
He laughed maniacally and jumped out the window with Polly and Sprig following behind. They rushed out the door to follow him and tackled him down just before he could swing his claws at a corn plant.
Polly: Stop this madness!
Sprig: You've gone too far, Y/N! We're doing this for your own good!
Y/N: Let go!
Sprig: You've lost your mind!
Y/N: A small price for saving this family!
Hop Pop: Hey!
Anne: Stop right there, you ... you ... thief?
Y/N stood up with Sprig and Polly still clinging to him and Anne and Hop Pop screamed.
Hop Pop: The corn thief! And it's the scariest thing I've seen!
Y/N: Ouch. There's no need to be harsh.
Anne: Finally, something we agree on.
Y/N: Hey! What's up with you two?
Hop Pop: We've got to take this thing down. Are you with me?
Anne: Till the end!
Hop Pop: Then let's do this! Tea kettle beam, fire!
Anne: Rainbow magic!
They both held out their hands and groaned as Anne made sound effects.
Anne: Our attacks have no effect.
Hop Pop: But we can't give up so easily.
Polly: Well, they're broken.
Y/N: And I'm the mad one?
Hop Pop: It must be immune to magic.
Anne: Quick! Grab those power-ups!
Y/N: Power-ups?
They looked over and saw Anne and Hop Pop grab a sickle and a pitch fork.
Polly: Run, run, run!
Y/N took the Plantar kids and ran through the corn field back towards the house as the two chased after him wielding their weapons. He tripped on one of the corn plants and tumbled to the floor and bashed against the door and Sprig and Polly fell off him. Anne and Hop Pop came charging out the corn field screaming and threw their weapons at him.
Y/N: No, No, No, No, No, No, No!
He ducked and dodged to avoid the weapons and they lodged into the door.
Y/N: Anne, Hop Pop, it's me! I've learned my lesson. I promise! I'll never manipulate people.
Anne: Uh, does the corn thief kinda sound like Y/N to you!
Hop Pop: Now that you mention it.
They were snapped out of their trance and saw a begging and pleading Y/N on the floor with his hands in a prayer position.
Y/N: Don't kill me! Please!
Both: Huh?
Anne: What?
Hop Pop: Uh, wait- what- none of that was real? But it was so terrifying! I thought we were goners.
Anne: Me too. And you defended me.
Hop Pop: And you stood by my side like a true warrior.
Anne: You know, Hop Pop, back home we call that having a friend's back.
Hop Pop: Well, back in my day we called it "pulling a Stinky McGuire." But if you don't know Stinky, the saying don't mean much, so let's just stick to yours.
They both laughed.
Hop Pop: Boy, I'm tired.
They both fell down snoring in the dirt and Polly and Sprig went over to a terrified Y/N.
Polly: Wow, Y/N, I owe you an apology. Your dumb ol' plan actually kinda worked.
Y/N: Thanks, Polly, but maybe next time we do it your way.
Sprig: Y/N, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you.
Y/N: Hit me with it.
Sprig: How did you get your claws and wings? Are they detachable or something?
Sprig pulled on one of Y/N's claws but he quickly pulled it away.
Y/N: Nope, not detachable.
Y/N sighed and rolled down his sleeve to show a large scar that had formed on his arm.
Y/N: Theres another one on my right arm and on my back where my wings are. Basically when I was younger I wanted to be more like my parents so I found these bug parts and wanted them to be a part of me. So i cut my arms and back a bit and stuck them in, hoping that their nerves would attach to mine and I could control them. And it worked! But damn, it hurt like hell.
Y/N yawned and lay on the garden.
Y/N: But its not so bad. I get to do all this cool stuff with them now. Like fly and ... and ...
He slowly drifted off to sleep, snoring alongside Anne and Hop Pop.