"Do you have to go?" I frowned, my thumb brushing over Zayn's knuckles distracting me from tearing up.
Yesterday's concert was more than amazing. The crowd was the loudest I ever heard and the boys preformed their hearts out. Zayn did a little cheeky kissy faces to me every now and then. It was really cute but I always blushed feeling all eyes on me when he did so, especially that Louis kept teasing him and saying my name in the middle of the song just to make me more uncomfortable.
Even after the concert was finished, it seemed like Louis had it as a mission to embarrass me even further. Every time Zayn and I even just tried to sneak away and have a little private chat Louis has to point it out making us join everyone again. I was a little disappointed that we couldn't get any 'us time' but I enjoyed the hangout nonetheless.
Now here I was, in front of Zayn's house at six in the morning with his mother and sisters saying goodbye, for the second time. Only this time it's harder. I didn't want him to leave.
"I do. I'll call you though." He said in a low voice a hint of sadness evident.
"Every day, no matter the time." I said looking up at his eyes intertwining our fingers.
"I promise." He said kissing my knuckles before letting my hands go to give his mother a hug.
"Take care of yourself and don't forget to call and let me know you are okay." His mom said with tears hanging by a thread on her lids.
"I will mom." He gently kisses her cheek.
"Check your what's app from now and then, yeah? Don't totally disappear on us." Doniya gave him a slight smile while Safaa just hangs on his waist refusing to let go, he wraps his arms around her kissing her head.
Tears start slipping down my eyes, rolling doing my cheeks. I wanted to be strong but just seeing him say goodbye and seeing the way Safaa is clinging on to him or the way his mother is a sobbing mess, I just couldn't help it.
After saying goodbye to everyone he came back to me. We stand there in front of each other, our eyes locked in the saddest gaze as tears keep falling on my cheeks without my permission. He gently wipes my cheek with his thumb, kissing my forehead, "I'm going to be home soon, okay?"
Nodding, I sniffled and tried my best to speak, "I love you."
"I love you more, babe." He smiles as his driver tells him they would be late.
Zayn picks up his backpack giving us all a wide smile, "Geh, I'm going to my job not to war." We all muffle a few chuckles at his light spirit.
I know he was going to the Far East not to war but still this was our first proper goodbye and I just felt so emotional. We had the best ten days ever and now it was all over. He was going to be gone again, leaving me all alone. I hate being all alone.
Zayn entered the car, his driver closed the door behind him quickly running to take the driver seat before turning on the engine, it's noise coming to life just as Zayn rolled down the window. "Love you guys. I'm gonna be back before you even miss me." He yells as the car made its way outside the gate.
Watching the car disappear behind the black gate which was currently closing, I just looked at that gate expectedly, "But I miss you already."
——
"You can't just mob around all day long, Maggie." Nadia rolled her eyes taking a sip of her orange juice.
It was currently 9AM and thankfully Nadia and mom were still with me in my house. Dad was still in his business trip so mom decided to spend one more day in London with me which I was thankful for because it would have been hell if I came home to an empty apartment after that emotional morning I had at Zayn's house.
"I'm not mobbing." I frowned at her.
"You literally did nothing since I woke-up but pout and stare at your phone like it was going to transform magically or something."
"He said he will call me when he lands." I sighed in defeated. It's been almost three hours but it feels like years had passed.
"He is going to Japan not to York." She chuckled putting her dish in the sink making me cringe at her. Would she die if she washed her own dish and cup after using them?
"I know that." I said annoyed at her, walking around the kitchen island and washing her them giving her a glare.
"Just waiting around for him to call you is literally self-torture. Plus, I'm not going to spend my last day in London like that. We are going out. Go get dressed." She got up from her chair yelling for mom to get dressed as well.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"I don't know. Out." She shrugged going in my room and finding something to wear in her bag of clothes that she had brought with her from back home.
Sighing, I decided to go along with whatever Nadia had planned. It was better than just sitting around, doing nothing but missing Zayn anyways.
We were probably just going to have a day out so I decided to wear my grey skirt with a blue long-sleeved shirt that had a white skull on it and wrapping my basic white scarf around my head. I then put on my blue TOMS and waited for Nadia to finish her glam-up session.
"You take the sentence 'Casual wear' to a whole new level." Nadia said once she saw me sitting on the sofa, waiting for her and mom.
"We are just going to hang out. We are not going to an award show." I shrugged getting my keys and doing a quick check on the apartment before locking it behind us.
"Where are we going?" Mom asked once we got to the front door of the building.
"We need to go buy this girl some skinny jeans. She's in desperate need of a make-over." Nadia remarked making me annoyed with her already.
"I do not! I'm perfectly happy with my clothes. They are comfortable and modest."
"I know plenty of hijabis who wear stylish and modest clothes." She mimicked my tone taking a turn just after the market.
"Do you even know where you are going?" I raised a brow at her as mom and I followed her into wherever she was taking us.
"Well, Yeah." She said in a 'dah' way as if I was stupid or something, "Ella's place is just around this corner. I texted her so she could come with."
I tried my best not to groan. Why was Ella coming with us for? I'm all for giving her a chance and whatnot but come on, do we really need to be best friends and hang out every day? I don't even see Waliyha and Aaroosa that much and they are my best friends.
We stood in front of an old building that looked a bit warn out. Its original color was a beautiful crimson color that would have looked just brilliant in the sunny days but it was evident how the natural conditions just ruined the old building's look. It looked dirty and washed out. Some of the windows broken and missing pieces at the edges. It could easily pass for a ghetto place if it wasn't located in a somewhat decent part of London.
Ten minutes had passed before Ella finally came down looking as edgy as ever in her black leather pants, white ripped tank top with a basic black under it. All her arm tattoos on display giving that extra dangerous look.
"Sorry I kept you waiting. Shall we?" She said with a wide smile on her face. We all walked together, Nadia and Ella engaging in a serious conversation of the best shops around while mom was walking next to me talking to dad on the phone.
"Yeah hunny... aha... so tomorrow morning then?... I can't wait. The girls say hey, by the way... Yeah we all miss you so much... Have a safe flight. Love you."
My mother had a ghost of a smile on her face as she hanged up with my dad. She kept a stare for about five seconds on the device as if expecting it to do something but then she gave up and turned her attention back to me again, "Nadia and I will be leaving tonight. Your father is coming tomorrow morning."
"Okay," I gave her a small smile. I wasn't looking forward to being alone today but I knew Waliyha was coming tomorrow morning with Aaroosa so I would be alone for only a few hours. And maybe Zayn would have some time to spare and we could talk all night. That would be lovely.
"Oh, this is my favorite shop. Let's go in." Ella said excited dragging Nadia behind her as mom and I followed then in a skimpy looking shop. It was just a small shop that looked like it fill out of a punk concert. The colors on the display shelves were daring. From neon pink to wild violet, it was Ella's still for sure. The ripped stuff, the shocking colors and even the punk accessories.
"This!" Nadia held out a leather jacket with a skull on the back and spikes on the shoulder, her eyes shined as if this was her pride position and she smiled devilishly at me.
"No way," I shook my head at the horrible piece of clothes. I was all for leather jackets, hell they were even my secret pleasure but I liked them basic with no much work done. Just a simple black or brown leather jacket, no spikes, no skulls and definitely not glitter.
"Fine," She rolled her eyes then walked along the isle of hanged clothes as I took a look around as well, "How about this?" She asked loudly holding a dark blue crop top with two third sleeves that were too wide as if giving it the wing effect. It had a dimmed glitter look with a neon orange line outlining the whole thing.
"Hell no." I rolled my eyes at her the continuing down the aisles. Mom showed me a simple violet tee that would've caught my attention if it wasn't for the huge sparkly peace sign on its back.
"I know you are going to love this." I heard Ella's voice behind and it took all of me to prevent an eye roll and a rude comment at her.
"This is nice. You were always so good with clothes." My mom complemented whatever piece of clothing Ella had brought. I stopped myself from groaning at my mother's over reaction. She was being too sweet, almost making me gag.
Turning to face Ella, I looked at the leather pants she had brought. It was a simple black leather pants, no glitter or rips in it. To be honest I actually did like it but I was afraid of trying it on for two reasons. One, it would give me too much attention from passers-by. Attention which I hated hence all my simple, plain clothes. Two, Ella was the one who chose it for me and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of being her best friend again.
"You used to love leather pants. I remember you had a full set back in York." She gave me the pants with a wide smile, making me uncomfortable and annoyed. She was acting like nothing happened between us and it pisses me off. I just looked at those pants like I didn't really care. Ella's face softened and her wide smile became smaller to just a mere ghost of a smile, "Just try it. You will look good in it."
Something in her weak voice made my heart beat slowed down for a second. I gave her an awkward smile, my stubbornness disappearing as I took that leather pants from her and went to try it on making Ella's smile the widest.
"It looks so good. Damn, you have a hot figure." Nadia said admiring my pants. To be fair, they were really good on me showing my figure just as it is. It wasn't too tight but it gave my body a whole new look, giving me a whole new confidence but I knew it was in no way modest.
"Yeah, but it's not so modest. Is it?" I quirked an eyebrow at Nadia.
"It's amazing. You have to buy it!" Nadia insisted while I just shook my head.
"Look what Ella and I found?" Mom sing-sang showing me a long striped black and white blouse. It was just covering my mid thighs from the front but it was long enough to reach my knees from the back. It looked like it didn't even belonged to this shop.
"This would look amazing on those pants. And I think this is modest?" She gave me her usual small smile, the one she gives only me as if asking for approval or something, "I mean, you aren't showing off any of your body and the outfit as a whole wouldn't look too clingy on your body. I got it two sizes bigger than you so it would be a little baggie and-"
Cutting Ella's nervous ramble, I took the blouse from her and went to try it on. She was right, the whole outfit looked on point. The long blouse definitely hid the tight pants making nothing of my body on display. It looked stylish and comfortable and to top it all off it felt good wearing it. Leather pants were always my favorite. I loved the confidence I felt wearing them, like I was in control and everyone else were just there.
Deciding that I loved the outfit, I actually bought it making Nadia sing hallelujah or something while Ella just had a wide smile on her face. A genuine smile which was so contagious, it ripped on me.
The rest of the day we just went to a restaurant for lunch and chatted. It was nice, the conversation was light and apart from my mother's constant buttering up to Ella I had a good time. Ella was always trying to make conversation with me, make sure I was okay with her being there with us. She thanked me for allowing her to accompany us yesterday saying how much she loved it and I don't know, somewhere along the day my guards went down.
I was consitantly trying my best to stop those awful voices in my head reminding me of all the horrible things Ella had done to me in the past. Just ignore everything we both did, because just like she did me wrong, I'm sure I did way worse thing. And just like was desperate for acceptance and forgiveness months back, she was doing the same with us.
The past was in the past and each of us wanted to open a new page in a new life. I needed to forget and forgive. She needed that as well. She was trying. She was really trying to make me forgive her and move on. I needed to stop being so selfish and just accept her now as she is.
***
A/N
hmm.. Ella sounds nice?
And Zayn LEFT :'(