Liddy's POV
"The simplest answer is I love children. I always have. I was the girl who missed out on a lot of junior high and high school events because I would be babysitting." Please, please, please, let that answer satisfy Hunter's curiosity!
"What did you mean by 'the simplest answer'? It sounds like there's more to it, than the fact that you love kids?"
"Yes, there is, but it's a long story."
He leans back and places his legs on the coffee table. "I've got all night."
I take a deep breath and begin. "Well, when I was younger I originally wanted to be a fashion designer. I was fascinated with clothes and I would spend hours sketching different styles of dresses. It got to the point that I had notebooks full of my drawings. I even taught myself how to sew so I could make my own prom dress, from one of my designs. Then something happened towards the end of my senior year of high school, that changed my mind."
"And what was it? "
"I learned that I couldn't have children."
Hunter was shocked. I could see it on his face. "What....what happened, if you don't mind me asking?"
"No I don't mind, but the subject might make you a bit uncomfortable. Are you sure you want to know?" He shakes his head, yes.
"Well I began to develop pain from ovarian cysts when I was about 15. By the time I was 17 the pain was so bad that I had to start taking birth control pills to prevented myself from ovulating. This helped with the pain, but never totally eliminated it. Then in January of my senior year of high school I woke up in the middle of the night with the worse pain I had ever felt in my life. It was like I was being stabbed with a white hot knife."
"I managed to crawl out of bed and get my parent's attention. They rushed me to the hospital and we learned that a cyst had grown extremely large and was twisted around my right ovary. I had to have it taken out immediately before it ruptured. I was rushed in for emergency surgery and woke up to discover that the cyst along with my right ovary had been removed. There was too much damage to my ovary so they couldn't save it."
I stop for a second to see how Hunter is doing. "Are you okay? I know this topic can make men really uncomfortable."
He flashes me the sweetest smile. "I am fine, Liddy. I've been married and had a pregnant wife. I am pretty up on how the female reproductive system works. I am more concerned about you. If you don't want to share any more of your story I will understand."
"I'm fine. Thanks for asking."
"Are you are sure? Because if you are, I would really like to hear the rest of your story." Hunter states with such compassion in his voice.
"Well, right after graduation I decided to have more tests done. I wanted to know if having only one ovary would affect my chances of getting pregnant one day. Like I said before, I LOVE children and always hoped to have 3-4 kids. When the test results came back they showed that my left fallopian tube, the only functioning one I have, has considerable scarring in it. That means that I'll have an extremely difficult time getting pregnant and IF I ever can get pregnant, my chances of having a normal pregnancy are low. I guess having only one ovary puts you at a much higher risk for an ectopic pregnancy."
"I'm sorry, but what's an ectopic pregnancy?"
"It's also called a tubular pregnancy. It's when a fertilized egg can't implant itself into the uterus because it is unable to travel through a narrow or scarred fallopian tube. So instead it attaches to the wall of the fallopian tube where it can't survive long term. It needs to be removed before it ruptures otherwise it can cause severe infection or death to occur.
"I didn't know something like that could happen!"
"Yes, it can. Needless to say. I was devastated, by all the medical reports. Going to college to learn design was no longer important to me. All I could think about was the fact that I wouldn't be able to be a mom. I eventually decided if I couldn't have my own children to love and take care of, I could at least help other families. By becoming a nanny I could be around children every day. So I applied to several colleges that offered degrees in Early Childhood Development, knowing I wanted to be the best nanny I possibly could be. When Vanderbilt College offered me a scholarship I accepted."
"Wow Liddy, I don't know what to say. I am truly sorry you had to go through that." I can tell from Hunter face and his voice that he is genuinely sincere. "I know that this is none of my business, but I'd like to ask anyway. Have you ever thought about adoption at some point?"
"Now, that I am older and wiser, I realize that I have options. So yes, if God is willing I will be a mom some day. Whether it's through the use of a surrogate or adoption."
"I am so glad to hear you say that. You will be an absolutely amazing mother. Take this from a man who married a woman without any maternal instincts. You have what it takes: compassion, patience, selflessness, and an abundance of love."
My eyes start to tear up. I am so touched by what Hunter just said. I try to hide the tears by looking down at Cole, but he sees them. He gets up from his chair and sits next to me. I can feel Hunter staring at me. I compose myself the best that I can then I wipe the tears from my eyes and turn my head to look at him.
"Why are you crying?" He whispers. "What did I say to upset you? Please, Liddy tell me what's wrong!"
I know he feels totally helpless. "I'm okay, really. I am just so moved by all the kind things you said about me, being a good mom some day. No one besides my sister has ever said that to me. It really means a lot. Thank You."
"Craig has never told you that you'll be an incredible mother?"
"No, it's not a subject that we've talked about much. I know that right now, he really isn't a huge fan of kids, but I'm hoping that in time that will change." I look away as my eyes start to fill with tears again, but not the happy kind.
Hunter's POV
I feel so stupid right now. I tried to pay her a compliment and I end up making her cry. I desperately want to give her a hug, but I don't trust myself. After the chemistry I felt when I touched her face earlier I can't risk it. She's Harper's nanny and she has a boyfriend. All Liddy and I can ever be is friends.
"Hey, how about some ice cream then you can ask me a few questions?" I suggested this trying to lighten the mood in the room and give myself an excuse to get up and put some distance between us, before I get pulled in by my need to comfort her.
"Now, that's a good plan. I'll get it." She immediately hops off the couch and heads towards the kitchen. "What flavor would you like? I think we have strawberry and chocolate."
"Well, "Miss I read magazines about Country Music Stars" what flavor do you think I want?" She starts to laugh. That's music to my ears. I hated seeing her sad, even if it was for only a few seconds.
"Hmmm, I am not sure I have ever read what your favorite ice cream flavor is but I'm going to guess chocolate because I know you like chocolate chip cookies and chocolate brownies. Am I right?" She asks with the biggest smile on her face.
"Great powers of deduction. You are correct. Miss Deans."
Her face lights up as she starts a celebratory dance, which includes hopping, twirling and fist pumping. I can't help but chuckle, she's absolutely adorable. When she's done celebrating she heads towards the refrigerator. She pulls out both cartons of ice cream and reaches into the cabinet above the sink for bowls. Because she is so tiny she can barely reach them. Just as I'm about to get up to help her, she manages to get them, but not before I see a glimpse of her toned stomach where her robe pulled apart.
"Here you go "Mr. Country Music Star." She says with sass, while handing me my chocolate ice cream.
"Thank you very much. Now, what's your first question for me?" I ask breathlessly. I need a distraction or something to get my mind off the perfectly tanned abs that lie beneath her robe.
"Well, here's the thing. You're in kind of a dilemma. I already know most of the answers to common questions about you, such as where are you from? Breaux Bridge, LA. What's your favorite food? Your mom's gumbo, stuff like that. So that only leaves me with really personal questions to ask you. Are you comfortable with that?"
"I think so." I say tentatively. I realize I'm suddenly nervous. I've always kept my personal life private. I don't want my fans knowing everything about me, especially details about Renee and I and our divorce. Can I trust Liddy? I want to believe I can, but my failed marriage has left me with some deep trust issues.
I must have zoned out for a few minutes, deep in my own thoughts. By the time I look up I see Liddy has washed her bowl and is standing with her back against the sink, just watching me. "Hey Hunter, I can tell that right now you aren't comfortable trusting me with any private details of your life. It's written all over you face. It's really okay. You haven't known me that long. Maybe some day you'll be able to confide in me, but now isn't the time. Yay know, I'm going to go to bed. It's getting late and I know you have a full day tomorrow with interviews, Meet and Greets and the concert in the evening, so Good Night." She turns and heads down the hallway.
"Sweet dreams." I call after her. Then I reach over and start stroking Cole's ears while thinking about what just happened. Why did I just do that? Why can't I get over these damn trust issues? I run a frustrated hand through my hair. I know she said she understands, but her eyes, they looked so sad. I know I've hurt her feelings. I need to apologize for being such a jerk. I have to fix this, otherwise I am not going to be able to sleep tonight.
"Hey Cole. I hope you don't mind waiting a little while longer before I ask the bus drive to pull over, so I can take you out one last time before bed. I need to go talk with Liddy, first. Okay?" He just lifts his head and sniffs my face then lays it back down and falls back to sleep. "Cole, you crack me up."
As I prepare myself to enter the bunk area I pray she isn't crying. I'm not going to be able to stop myself from holding her if she is. I know I haven't known her that long, but there's just something about her. I want to protect her, just like I want to protect Harper. On my way down the hallway I can hear Liddy's voice. The closer I get to her bunk, I can tell she's talking softly to someone. Craig, I bet. She said he would be calling her. I can't interrupt them, so I turn back towards the living area. I'm going to have to wait till tomorrow to talk with her. God, please don't let it be too late.
Liddy's POV
Since getting off the phone with Craig, about an hour ago, all I have done is lay here quietly crying in my bunk, thinking about what happened earlier tonight with Hunter. I'm so hurt that he isn't comfortable sharing intimate details of this life with me. I thought we were becoming friends. I guess not. Why can't he tell I am a person of integrity? I am emotionally exhausted. I need to go to sleep. As I am start to drift off, I make a decision. I'm going to step back and just do my job. I'll be his daughter's nanny and stop trying to be his friend. That will be the best thing for everyone involved, I hope.
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