When I woke up after crashing from exhaustion yesterday I was met with Indigo's face rather than Dallas', not that I was complaining because that was one hell of an awkward conversation I was going to have to have.
Rather than giving me a lecture about Dallas she just kept quiet and allowed me to relax. I knew in the next few days I would have to answer questions that I really didn't want to.
I couldn't explain why I asked Dallas to stay with me, or why he was able to calm me down from a panic attack when no one else has ever been able to do it before.
I had avoid going to the rink or having any interaction with the team for the past few days, I hadn't been doing any work and only spending my days in bed and in the dark. My parents were worried for me but I couldn't bring myself to explain what had happened because then that meant explaining about Dallas and that was the last thing I wanted to do.
I knew anytime now there would be stories in the media and my photos would resurface, then my parents would know what had happened but until then I wanted to keep my head clear of any of that.
"Right kid enough now you need to get out of bed, you're festering" Ma barged into the room and came to open my blinds.
I didn't say anything but instead rolled over and pushed my face into the pillows trying to block her out. She sighed and sat on the edge of my bed and placed a hand on my leg trying to comfort me.
"I've called Dr Kepler, you have a session with her today" I rolled my eyes and moved my legs so that she would remove her hand.
"You need to explain to me what has set you back. You were doing so well!"
I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and typed in my name in google. It wasn't surprising that there were photos of me and articles from the day at the rink. I chucked the phone at my mum and she sat there for a few minutes just scrolling through everything.
"I'm so sorry baby" she opened her arms for me and I sat up and fell into her embrace. Even though she was annoying me there was something about her arms that made me feel so safe.
"If you don't want to go to therapy today that's fine I can cancel for you but it would be good for you to get out of the house. We are all going out to the bar tonight with the team, I think you should come"
"Okay I'll come with you"
I had a few more hours in bed before I hauled myself out and began to get ready. I couldn't think of anything worse than having to see Dallas but I was doing this to make my parents happy. They were worried about me and I know it will be worse now that my mum has seen the articles.
I pulled on a cute outfit hoping that would make me feel better and it did slightly, I knew getting out of the house was going to be good for me but it just takes a lot to get the motivation to do it.
I strap my brace onto my leg because I hadn't worn it the last few days as I haven't gone anywhere and knew if I stayed on my legs too long without it then I'd be in a lot of pain.
"You ready sweetheart?" Ma calls out and I make my way down stairs and meet them in the car.
"Glad to see you out of bed honey" Dad meets my eyes through the rear view mirror and I give him a small smile back.
It doesn't take us long to get to the bar and as I get out of the car I make sure I slap a smile on my face so that no one questions whether I was okay.
"There she is, my little Evan" Millie runs over to me with a large grin on my face and I couldn't help but replicate it. Something about Millie's energy just made everyone around her happy, she was like a personal ball of sunshine.
"Hi Mills" I laugh out as she grabs my hand and pulls me away from my parents and over to Zach.
We sit in the booth and I raise an eyebrow as they both stared at me with grins on their faces, it was starting to freak me out a bit.
"Is there something I can do for you two?"
"We have something to tell you. Nobody else knows though so you need to keep it to yourself" I nod my head cautiously.
"We're pregnant" My mouth drops open and I can't help the squeal that comes out of my mouth.
"Oh my god that's so exciting. Congratulations!" I jump up and pull Millie into a hug. She laughs but wraps her arms tighter around me.
"I actually can't believe this. It's so amazing" this has definitely boosted my mood.
"When are you going to tell everyone else?"
"We were thinking about after the next game but Mills was too excited not to tell you at the first opportunity she got" I couldn't help but laugh knowing I'd be exactly the same with telling Indigo and her if I was in the same position.
"You'll have to let me get you two some drinks. Obviously non alcoholic for you lovely" I press a kiss to her cheek and walk off to the bar to grab the drinks.
"Can I get two beers and a Diet Coke please?" The bartender nods and goes to grab the drinks for us.
Just as he hands them to me a looming shadow appears over me and I know who it is by the way my heart starts to beat rapidly and my cheeks flush in embarrassment. I knew that I would have to face him some day but I hadn't prepared what I was going to say yet.
I pay the bartender and grab the drinks before turning around. I watch as he runs his eyes over me lingering on my brace before moving his gaze back to my eyes. Rather than saying anything to me he just nods his head and orders.
I screwed my eyebrows together in confusion, I wasn't sure what Dallas was going to say but I wasn't expecting pure silence. Shaking off the situation I make my way back to the booth where a few other players have sat down.
I place the drinks down and everyone takes their drinks before I slide in next to Wessy.
"Hey there sweet cheeks we haven't seen you at the rink" I knew I was going to get the question so I had come up with a lie, there was no way I was going to say the truth it's embarrassing.
"I've been catching up with work, everything with the sponsor and stuff has kept me busy" as I finished my sentence Dallas slid into the booth opposite me and avoided my eyes.
"Well we miss your pretty face around the rink so you better be there at the next game" I let out a little giggle and nodded my head at him.
Without realising my eyes flicked over to Dallas who had no emotions on his face but he was squeezing his drink so hard it looked like the bottle was about to crack. I spent the rest of the night just chatting with the team and I really felt better. I guess my mum was right with socialising making me feel better.
Although I felt much happier than I had the past few days there was still an unsettling feeling in my stomach every time I looked at Dallas. I knew it was going to be awkward because I've never shown an emotion like that in front of him but I didn't expect him to completely blank me. It was as though the past few weeks hadn't happened and we had gone back to how we were when I was a teenager.
"Hey sweets we were thinking of leaving in a few, is that all good with you?" Ma came over and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.
Before I could answer she spoke again.
"Or if you wanted to stay longer and get a ride back with one of the team that's okay" her eyes flicked over to Dallas and I watched as his eyes widened and he looked down at the table to ignore the comment.
Letting out a little sigh I looked back at my mum and nodded my head saying I'd come back with my parents.
Something was obviously going on with Dallas and I didn't want to be stuck in a car with him if he was going to be an arsehole. I already had to deal with him this weekend at the game so hopefully his mood improves by then.
We stayed a little while longer at the bar before my parents wanted to leave. I said goodbye to everyone and gave Millie an extra tight hug in congratulations. I still couldn't believe they were going to have a baby, this was going to be the first team baby!
"Feeling better now, sweet?" Dad asked as we got into the car and I justes nodded and smiled at him.
The next few days I spent catching up on work that I had missed during my time off and soon enough the game was rolling around. I knew Millie was coming to this one so rather than sitting by myself I was going to sit with her in the WAG section of the arena as the media have labelled it!
I knew that if I was sitting in that section there was a chance of me being photographed so I made sure to put on an extra cute outfit just in case I ended up in the media.
I rode with my parents to the arena and sat with my mum in her office whilst we were waiting for the game to begin.
Walking out into the hallway I bumped into Dallas who looked at me with no emotions on his face. Rather than stopping to talk to me like he usually does he simply blanked me and walked past.
Screwing my face up in confusion, I run after him and grab his wrist, I need to talk to him about not pulling any stunts like he did in the last game.
"What?" He snapped and I simply raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him.
"No need for the attitude grumps" I tried to joke to lighten the mood but he wasn't having any of it and just rolled his eyes in response.
"You need to play normally today, no stunts like you did in the last game"
"Don't piss me off and I won't react then"
I was taken aback by his response, not just what he said but the tone that he had with me. It was as though I had murdered his cat with he way he was speaking to me.
"Excuse you-"
Before I could finish my sentence he was walking off towards the ice without turning back. I let out a frustrated breath of air and stormed over to the WAG section. Millie turned to me with a big grin on her face when I sat down in the seat next to her.
"Hey Evan, what's got you stomping around the place" she let out a little giggle and I sent her a mock glare.
"Just the child I've been forced to look after is being an arsehole"
She lets out a laugh and I shake my head at her before the music for the beginning of the game starts.
Millie cheers throughout the whole game, I felt like I was becoming deaf everytime Zach made a good move or even touched the puck. It was nice to see that she was so invested in his career, that's what most athletes want once they've gotten out of their sleeping around phase.
As a little girl I always dreamed of having my boyfriend or husband stand on the edge of the rink cheering me on as I skated in competitions. My main dream was to have that happen at the olympics but after my accident those dreams were shattered!
My mind started to drift to a dark place as I thought more about never skating again. Even feeling the chill of the arena made my heart hurt and my stomach turn. Lifting my eyes I caught Dallas just in time as he scored a goal and skated around celebrating with the team. A small smile twitched at the corners of my lips but that fell when our previous interaction crossed my mind.
He obviously wasn't in a bad mood so I had done something to piss him off to have him talking to me the way he was. I haven't even seen him for the past week so it obviously had something to do with my panic attack.
I furrowed my brows together as insecure Evangeline took over my mind just like when I was a teenager.
I shouldn't have done that in front of him, we were making good progress and now I scared him off all because I can't have a normal brain.
Thoughts bounced around my head as I kept my gaze on the floor beneath me and picked at the skin around my fingers, a habit I developed when my anxiety got really bad. I'd pick at them so much that they would bleed and were so extremely sore that I could hardly do anything.
I don't know how much time passed but I was snapped back into reality by Millie shaking me with a big grin on her face. Looking up at the jumbotron I saw that we had won and Zach had scored the winning goal.
I let a fake smile fall onto my face so that I could pretend to be happy, Millie and Zach were going to be sharing their news with the team so I had to be happy for that.
"I'm so nervous to tell the team" Millie spoke out as we walked down the corridor with our arms linked.
We were heading towards the changing room where everyone was gathered, in Millie's eyes it was the perfect place to tell the team about the good news.
"Everyone is going to be so excited, it's the first team baby" I gave her arm a reassuring squeeze before pushing the door open to the changing room.
We were confronted by a room full of 200 pounds of pure muscle hockey players in varying degrees of nakedness. I'm not one to shy away from human anatomy but I'm a hormonal teenage girl and I couldn't help the heat that flooded to my cheeks.
"Gather 'round guys" Zach came over to grab Millie's hand and pulled her into the middle of the room as all the hockey players crowded around them.
I stood by the door watching the interaction and pulling out my phone so that I could video the whole thing for Millie. She hadn't asked me to but I think it would be a nice memory to look back on.
"So I've been keeping a secret from you guys..." I rolled my eyes as Zach paused for dramatic effect.
"We're having a baby!"
The whole room errupted into cheers and jumping around, a smile graced my face as I watched the whole interaction. Everyone hugged Millie and Zach screaming in excitement for them. It was a cute sight to witness but all happy feelings faded from me the moment I locked eyes with Dallas.
It was clear that he was already looking at me and he held my gaze for a moment before turning back to the celebration.
"We have to celebrate tonight. We won the game and we are having a baby!" Wessy calls out and everyone laughs at him.
"You aren't having a baby sweetheart" Millie pats his arm with a soft smile on her face.
"But I will be looking after the kid, they will follow in my footsteps" I shivered at the thought of Wessy looking after a baby, he didn't even seem like he could look after himself so there was no way he could care for a defenceless little baby.
Everyone barked out a laugh and shook their heads at the delusional man.
I slipped out of the room and walked towards the press room hugging my stomach, another thing I did when I was feeling insecure and anxious about something. I had a tendency to try and make myself as small as possible, I hadn't needed to do it for over year but it seems I wasn't as healed as I thought I was.
All it took was one bad interaction with Dallas to push back all my progress, of course he can't be entirely blamed it was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed. People shouldn't be able to affect my mental state as much as they do, perhaps I should book another session with Dr Kepler!
I waited by the door as players began to filter in smiling at me as they did. I was just double checking to make sure they all looked okay before the media saw them.
"Any notes for us Eves" I looked up to see who was talking and saw Jethro stood smiling down at me.
After our initial bad first meeting I had become quite close with him. He was easy to talk to and fun to be around, I didn't have to think when I was talking to him, something I loved. I would even go so far to say that we were friends.
I just shook my head and wrapped my arms tighter around myself. He furrowed his brows and reached out to place a hand on my shoulder but I pulled away and stepped back.
"Hey we are talking after this okay so come and find me, please" His expression was soft and his brown eyes reflected that of a puppy. I couldn't help but nod my head.
He gave me a soft smile before walking into the room, Dallas was the last person to walk into the room. He looked at me as he walked past and furrowed his brows.
"What were you and Jethro talking about?" I raised an eyebrow in confusion, why did he care? He obviously didn't want to talk to me but did that now mean that I couldn't talk to any of his team mates.
"Nothing"
"Don't lie!" He snapped and I took a step back from him not liking the way he was towering over me. Usually I found his domineering ways attractive but right now I wanted to put as much space between me and him as possible. His eyes softened a fraction but as soon as they did his hard exterior was back up.
"Just behave" I kept my eyes trained on the floor as I spoke and just heard a sigh in response before he stormed into the media room and I followed a minute after before finding my seat at the back.
I didn't need to do anything for the whole conference as the boys were all on best behaviour. They all looked bored out of their mind but every athlete did when they had to do press, it was the worst part of playing a sport at the professional level.
Jethro was one of the last ones to leave and as he came over to me he looked like a little puppy and I couldn't help but smile. He just had this positive energy around him that boosted your mood no matter what.
"I'm saying we go for greasy fast food and a bitching session because you need it" I nodded my head and he grabbed my hand lacing his fingers with mine.
I had expected all the players to be gone by now, what I didn't expect was them to all be waiting in the foyer of the arena and all eyes turned to us. More specifically our joined hands and the smile on Jethro's face. Of course there was nothing between us but the team and my parents didn't know that.
"You guys not coming to celebrate?" Monty J asked with confusion on his face, mirroring everyone else in the foyer.
"Nope we are going to hang for a bit, I'll swing by later" I watched as Jethro shot a wink at Dallas before turning to my parents.
"I'll drop her home" Jethro called out and pulled me out of the doors and towards his truck.
"Cap is going to murder me but totally worth it!"