"It is time." Tsireya smiled as she walked over to us.
I watched the area but shrugged.
"Fine. Lo'ak will miss this. What are we doing Moana?" I chuckled as Tuk added the last shell to my short hair.
Tsireya giggled at the name. "First we need to get you into the water." She smiled as she and the rest went for their Ilu.
Tuk hugged my side.
"I'll ride with you!" She announced.
Everyone agreed and as the Ilu came I placed Tuktirey on before me and soon we began swimming. Using my arm as a seatbelt Tuk urged me to go faster and soon we were.
"You can go even faster if you jump." She informed me with a smile. "Just a a small one. Like when you skip stones. A little jump and soon you can dive." She smiled pating the arm securing her.
I accepted this hugging her a bit more and letting the Ilu skip above the water a little. My feet stayed in the water as it did and when it landed the water was up to my chest, until it leveled out again.
"Your getting bette!" Aunong called as he circled back to us.
It was hilarious to me at this point. The children I just got to know a few months ago, along with the children I helped explore the world. They cheered me on for every simple thing I did, every small inch I took towards the water.
It still boggles my mind no one here has simply told me to stop being a baby and just go in yet. It also makes me think my life in that other time as a dream. It was just as refreshing as the water we swam on.
Soon Tsireya was infront of me.
"Now. This is the part that I need to warn you about." She smiled gently.
"We have to go under water. But, it will be worth it, so worth it. I know you miss your old home. But what I wish to show you, it will help with that longing. If only a bit. I swear." She promised.
As her doe green eyes swore safety and a promise of comfort. I looked to Tuk on my lap. She smiled at me hugging my arm that much tighter.
"We can wait." She smiled. I took a breath. Nodding I watched as Tsireya smiled and took a few breaths silently telling me to do the same. I did. And on Tuks count we dove down.
She pointed to many things under the water. But as we drew closer to the underwater caves I hugged her closer. She smiled still pointing out the beautiful things along the cave wall. I ran one hand over the surface that looked like stone but felt more like wet clay. I was right, the under water world was a completely different place.
Kiri made a show as she circled me. Using the arm holding her I hoisted Tuk to her sister. She looked at me in concern but as I smiled at them both she swam until her small arms circled Kiri and they sped off. I smiled as Netayum glided over my head. And before I knew it we were resurfacing.
"YAAH! AUNTI TSYAMEYSYA!" Netayum called as he clapped.
"See. Wasn't that bad. Now you can join us." Aunong hummed shrugging as nonchalant as he could and still smiling bright.
"She did it! I knew the sea shells would help!" Tuk laughed as her and Kiri surfaced beside me.
"This is our moat sacred place. This is the cove of the ancestors. Eclipse is the best time to be here." Tsireya smiled.
I couldn't stop the giggling that bubbled up as I absorbed the last of the light and watched the water as it revealed much more than when the sun is out.
"This-" I gasped trying to find the right word.
It was a spirit tree. Under the water, reminding me of an enemany, it was a change from the weeping willow of the forest and at the thought I felt my good mood dim a bit. But the glow was so welcoming and warm.
"Let's go." Aunong called to us all.
I smiled and slowly let myself fall from my Ilu and began to swim down. The tree was different, not just in looks. I felt myself crying thanking anything I was under the water, swimming closer I reached for the tree. It didn't reach back, in a way that hurt. It just somhow felt less welcoming. But I accepted this change with a heavy heart.
"Connect again." Netayum smiled as he swam to me signing. I smiled and nodded swimming closer. I watched as Kiri attached her self and soon we all followed suit.
I closed my eyes feeling that familiar feeling of the planet lulling me into peace.
"So. Speak child tell me of your story now." Eytukan smiled as he greeted me. I made my way over to the old man and sat beside him watching as he sat fixing something on his clothing.
"What do you mean? What of my story?" I asked crawling on my toes and hands around him. He flicked his tail at my face with a huff of laughter.
"Your song cord. Tell me." He stated simply blowing a stray strand of string away.
"It's my life story. You know my story. I came here, I found a family, your daughter is insane, we had to leave..." my words died slightly the rest if my jokes dieing with them.
"Spider was taken." I sighed.
"The boy. The Na'vi in demon shape. How?" Eytukan asked still so focuse on his work.
"I let them go off on their own. The man who.... destroyed Hometree is back. And he took him. We had to leave and now we reside with the Metkayina clan. On Awa'atlu." I sighed plucking a small stick from the ground and tossing it.
"You still have your family." He hummed.
"But Tsu'tey promised we could think of a plan to save him!" I hissed standing. "But so far every one has simply forgot that he is gone! All but me and Kiri." I huffed tossing away a small stone.
"You are still impatient. You cannot think of a plan if you are a worried mother. The boy is strong and the great mother will return him home to you one day." Eytukan hummed.
"I want him safe. With me or with the scientists. Just not with that... that... warmongering shitface fuck!" I snarled from Na'vi to English.
A swift smack was delivered to my back. I jumped away with a howl of pain. I looked at Eytukan in shock and disbelief.
"Act like a small child I treat you like a small child." He chuckled.
So there I sat and I told him everything. All the way up until I learned to give the ocean a chance.
He nodded with a smile. Then he hunched over, he began wreathing in pain.
"Father what's wrong?" I asked.
He said nothing as he continued to aqirm in pain. But the world began to fall away, he screamed silently when I reached for him a flash struck me and through the burning light I saw something terrifying, I saw kiri curled into a ball crying.
I detached myself from the tree and what I saw was worse than what the tree showed me. Kiri was convulsing. I swam to her inhaling water when I tried to call her name, pulling her to the surface as fast as I could. Netayum was beside me quickly pulling Kiri onto his Ilu, he began preforming CPR. I grabbed her wrist keeping check of her pulse.
The moment she coughed up water I helped him adjust her so he could caffy her safely.
"Go! I'll call ahead. Netayum get her out of the water." I ordered. He left with no second thoughts.
"What happened? Kiri!" Tuk cried as her brothers left with her older sister.
I called an Ilu and pulled Tuk close.
"Devil dog! Remy, to Devil dog. Netayum and Kiri in bound. She had a seize under water, the water is clear from her system but she didn't open her eyes." I told him as the others got on and ready to leave.
"Where are they?" He asked.
"Headed to the village they should be there in no time. Were behind them." I told him as I cradled the crying Tuk and we raced our Ilu back.
When we got there I saw Tsu'tey take Kiri and Jake rode to his home pulling his daughter close and inside.
I ran in the moment the Ilu stopped.
Placing Tuk on her feet.
"She's okay. She just drank some ocean water honey." I hummed as we walked in. But I had just officially lied to my niece.
Once inside Kiri was still... still. Her eyes closed and her breathing so very slow it scared me.
As Jake gave a small standard check over her Neytiri was at my side taking her small girl and her eyes full of tears already.
"What happened?!" She asked me.
"We were at the Metkayina sacred tree. We were fine, then she just... I opened my eyes and she was seizing." I spoke quickly.
"Ma Jake?" She asked facing her mate.
But Jake had already moved to make a call as he cradled Kiri's head in his lap.
I stumbled from their tent I couldn't breathe.
Hands on me the moment I reached the sand, faces bluring, but some missing.
I made the mistake of looking back inside. I felt sick.
I curled up and before I noticed I was under the path way.
"She could hurt herself." Tsireya spoke.
"No. That's a good spot for her." Netayum responded.
"We need to get my uncle." He stated and stood.
As the sun vanished and we realized Kiri wanst waking up Jake made another call and Tsireya ran for her mother.
"Come out." Tsu'tey spoke.
I lifted my head from my knees and saw he and my nephews standing there.
Lo'ak was crouched watching me.
Netayum stood beside Tsu'tey.
"Come out my love." He called quieter.
He then took a knee and watched me a calm smile on his face. A disarming smile that worked like a charm.
"I will not come in. But the boys will. I only have to tell you to come out once more and they will." He spoke softly. I uncurled and crawled to him.
He hugged me when I was close enough.
We sat on the beach as the sun began to come out again my mind thinking if every possibke reason Kiri was in there right now.
"Netayum. On me." Jake stated as he walked down the woven path and to an open area on the beach.
I was pat on the head and then he ran for his father.
I almost smiled seeing the Samson. I ran over with a small glimmering hope that they had my Spider inside and the key to waking Kiri. But again my heart was broken, Max and Norm ran by with standard medical equipment and Trudy got out of her seat.
She smiled at me and opened her arms for a hug. I hugged her back.
"I got the gist of it all. Don't worry mama, everything I going to be fine." She hummed hugging me.
I couldn't have disagreed more.
We walked to Jake's place seeing them all sitting outside. I looked in and saw the Tsahìk working.
"Jake. I am so sorry." I croaked.
"Hey. You called me the moment it got bad. Kiris fine. She just needs to wake up, I promis kid." He sighed.
I watched him as the Tsahìk walked around the tent and began her waking of Kiri.
As the men started their science babble I ignored them and made my way back to the Samson curling up in the Avatar seats.
"What is this?" Tsireya asked. I blinked a moment.
"It is... almost a skyperson Ikran. But built instead of born." I tried to explain.
"It looks dangerous." She hummed as she walked closer.
"That depends entirely on the skyperson in it. This one is safe." I smiled lightly.
She stepped a bit closer but only to stand half a foot away from me. I stayed in the seat watching her.
"I thought I would bring you food. But.." Her words stopped as she looked over the gunship again. I climbed down and accepted the small bits of fruit she offered.
Two bites before my mind lied and told me I was sick. But still..
"Mother will help her. She will be fine, I know it." Tsireya smiled.
"Thanks Moana. But it's not just Kiri anymore. Now it's everything... again." I chuckled.
"God. Sometimes I can ignore how much I miss the forest, then when I am reminded of it I feel worse than previous, and then it's a never ending cycle of down and up but the down is getting lower and lower.... and I am unloading on a child... I'm sorry." I smiled tightly.
Her smile was there still albeit smaller but still radiant.
"It is wonderful you trust me enough to speak what hurts you. Maybe in time, the ocean will feel as much a home for you as the forest is." She smiled bigger.
I smiled at her. Then it fell.
"Maybe one day." I hummed walking back to check on my family.
I walked to the boys as Max and Norm started properly packing and preparing to leave. I entered the tent and sat with the crouching and praying Neytiri. My eyes watching as Tuk helped roll Kiri and then hand the Tsahìk whatever she asked for. With every exhale she made away from Kiri I found myself wishing to be closer to the girl to hold her close until she woke up and called me her strange crazy aunt again.
I closed my eyes and took a breath holing Neytiri by the hand as she prayed.
"Kiri." Tuk gasped. I opened my eyes smiling at the girl as she opened her eyes. "Your awake." Tuk smiled as she pat her sisters head.
But then as Kiri opened her eyes she started to sob. She had her hands up, Neytiri holding one and Jake taking the other. She sat layn on her back and cried.
I slipped out and found all the boys. "She is awake." I told them before re entering and helping the Tsahìk gather her things.
She said nothing as I helped her. Even handing me the large shell like bowl she carried her items in. I followed her as everyone went to check on Kiri.
"You should return." She stated the moment we reached her home.
I gave a smile. Handing her her things. "Thank you. For everything, letting us stay, taking us in, saving Kiri." I chuckled dryly.
"The great mother brought you to us. Now we see where she leads us all. Even her most afraid child." She stated taking her belongings and leaving inside her home.
I made my way home. Tsu'tey was inside already and had a small fire going, he was cooking his back facing me.
I gave a dry laugh as the familiar smell hit me. Teylu. Once a simple meal now a comfort food. I sat and he turned to me, pulling me closer to the warm fire.
"Kiri is fine. But she is sad. You should go see her tomorrow." He stated handing me the hot food.
"I saw her when she woke up. I talked to everyone, I'll give them time with her first." I muttered.
"No!" He stated sharply. I watched him with wide eyes as he stopped cooking. "You want to stay in and be sad. She is sad. You both need to go out and-"
"And miss everything? Remind ourselves why we're here? Be upset together? No! We need to go out pretend to have fun, and act like life is just fine!" I hissed placing the food down and inching away from the fire.
"No. You need to clear your head-"
"All I've been doing is clearing my head! I want to go save Spider! I want to go home! I want to return to the Omatikaya! I miss Arvok! I miss Mo'at! I miss the Forest! And I feel like I'm the only one who wants to go back!" I exploded, and he let me.
"I want Quaritch dead! I want to go home! With people who know what I am doing and don't look at like I'm missing something everytime they look at me. The people who understood I watch to understand! I miss the sacred tree! The tree I didn't need a diving buddy for! I want to fly again! I want the only water I worry about to be the stream where you washed my hair! I want to run through the forest again! I want to go home!" I cried in a tantrum.
"I want to go home!" I cried again. He made his way to me wiping the tears that began to fall.
"So do I." He stated.
The simple words, him holding eye contact as he said them. He pulled me close and inched to the corner. He handed me my small Ikran toy and Spider's mask. When I had them he hugged me close and began to hum.
That was how Kiri found us, she said nothing but crawled over laying her head on my lap.
"Remember the game we played? Your favorite game?" Kiri asked me as I handed her Spider's mask.
"The Kenten game?" I asked.
"Yes." She hummed.
"You should have seen her play it the first time. Her eyes glowing like the lizard she chased." Tsu'tey hummed as he pet Kiri on the head and hugged me with his other arm.
I smiled at the memory.
"Remember the first day I brought Spider out?" I asked softly.
"He was so small. But I couldn't believe he was older than Netayum." Kiri hummed.
"And he almost fit perfectly immediately." Tsu'tey hummed.
"I can't wait until we bring him here." Kiri hummed, her voice cracking a bit.
"He's gonna love it. And he will brag to Lo'ak that he won't need to do the breathing training. Then he and Netayum will become Metkayina warriors." I smiled.
"I might have to come up with a new name for him. Monkey boy won't fit here." Kiri smiled as she curled up beside me.
"I'll help." I smiled.
I hugged them both close.
"Will we ever see grandmother again?" Kiri asked me.
"I don't know strong girl. But if I have to bring her here for even a day I will." I hummed.
"One day we will be able to fly free again. And you can show Spider all you kids have learned and he will stay with us." Tsu'tey hummed as he nuzzled me.
I allowed myself that nice thought for a moment, but then the face of the devil popped into my head.
For the rest of the day we sat in my tent, just... moping no fake smiles, no activities to occupy us... just us alone with our thoughts. I cried so many times alone, Kiri was so silent, when the cuddles grew too much she kept the mask and moved to sit closer to the entrance, watching the ocean.
I wish I could say that was it. But for almost a week Kiri returned to my side as Tsu'tey left to return to training. We sat and sulked for a while.
"Do you want to go and scream?" Kiri asked me one day.
"No. I have no energy for that walk. And it won't help this time." I hummed cooking a light meal for us.
"I saw my mother." Kiri said after a long silence.
"What did she say?" I asked slowly.
"It's like.... she wanted to... she tried... but she couldn't say anything... and when she kept trying... and trying... it looked like she.... choked on her words.. and then she was gone." Kiri sighed.
She placed her head in her hands. I made my way to her.
"Well... maybe she couldn't... somethings people want aren't always what needs to be said." I hummed.
Kiri sighed in annoyance. I watched as she stormed back to her families home. I lay in starfish position on my floor watching the ceiling.
"Depressions a bitch. More of a bitch than Karma, and that's saying a lot to one-up the biggest bitch of em all." I muttered to myself.
The days drag on and on and as the Tsahìk progresses in her pregnancy she is slightly more welcoming to my curiosity. Occasionally when there were no duties for her she would drag me from my tent and back to hers so I could watch.
"For the stinging poison." She demanded me as she lay items out before me.
I looked over the herbs, roots and shells. I pulled a pink powder closer to myself watching her. She gave nothing away, I then reached for a familiar green goop, but didn't take it. That was the go to for burns. Instead I pulled a minced leaf fom another shell bowl and a needle.
"Combine until a paste and apply beside the wound?" I asked. "Then flush with ocean water." I hummed glancing at her.
"The water will spread the poison, apply heat after the paste. But yes." She spoke as she returned her items. I nodded slightly happy I remember the color for the balm of healing.
"Have you spoken to my daughter as of late?" She asked as she cleaned the perfectly clean home.
"No. If I do I may pour my burdens onto the child again." I hummed moving out of her way as she cleaned.
"She told me. Now you tell me." She spoke as she returned to sit before me.
"Tell you what?" I asked her.
"Tell me your grief. Tell me why the years that have not passed by are stuck in your eyes." She stated.
I felt myself shrink under her unwavering gaze.
"I help with kids. My mind is like a child's so I stuck close to them. It was easy, all I had to do was make sure they practiced safely. The humans had a child. I cared for him, brought him to the clan so he could play with the other children. He grew up Omatikaya. The war was over Toruk was returned home. And everything was fine. Then we got comfortable, we stopped watching for the demons return, I almost forgot about them. Then they came back, they took the boy who trusted me. My family had to separate from home and other family." I huffed.
"Then we got here. And I don't know what to do anymore, this time I'm going in blind. I was blessed with the knowledge of everything that was happening to and around me before I ended up on pandora. But now, everything is so much scarier. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore." I sighed.
"What have you done so far?" The Tsahìk asked.
"Cried. Screamed. Tried to keep myself and the children distracted. Learned to swim?" I listed waiting for a sign I said the right thing.
"You are grieving a home lost. A child lost. And helping the children get over their own pain. One day the great mother will restore your balance." She hummed again as she stood and walked away.
"Return to the children. Play explore. But do no give up, the time for you to strike as you wish will come."
With her final words I walked out and to find the kids. They all lay lounging on the beach I made my way to them.
"You can swim now?" Lo'ak asked as he met me halfway slinging an arm over my shoulders causing me to hunch to his height.
"She did! I was with her the whole time! She even went under!" Tuk smiled from her spot in the water.
"She looked so calm it was almost like she wasn't there." Netayum smiled before he stood brushing sand off himself and walked up the beach. I watched as he vanished into his family home.
I smiled walking to the water. "Come on. We taught them how to play hide-and-seek." Lo'ak smiled as he removed his arm and ran for the ocean.
I glanced back to the walkways but Kiri was nowhere in sight. So I played with the children for a while until I was tired and lay on the sand, as soon as she had me Tuk was making me another top with small shells to frame my shape and larger ones in the center, when done she threaded a few more in my hair as I held onto her latest masterpiece.
"Why did you cut your hair so short?" Aunong asked as he took down his bun and put it back up right.
"I was a demon before I was Na'vi. In my natural born form, I kept it short because when it was too long I got it tangled in everything." I hummed.
"What was your human self like?" Tsireya asked.
"She has photos! Can I get them? Please!?" Tuk asked as she placed another shell on my head almost framing my face with them as much as my hair would allow.
"Yes happy girl. Ask your uncle, he knows where they are." I chuckled.
Watching her run was adorable, her joy visible in every stride she rushed and the stumble in the sand.
"Pictures?" Aunong asked.
"Memory captured forever." I hummed.
Smiling thinking of the photo Tsu'tey took of me and the revenge shot I got of him.
"When I was young, and you children were just barely thoughts." I chuckled.
"I have to see these, I havent seen any of you when you were a kid." Lo'ak smiled.
"Because I hid them." I huffed. "But Tuk wants to share so." I smiled as the small girl ran back with the small bits of paper in hand.