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Elvis POV
The 9th of July, 1957
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✑ Dear E. ✑
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I bet you wonder why I've written you a letter? Well, I'd like to share how it's been working with you. I've only ever had one or two well-known roles—until I'm now reaching my breakthrough, thanks to you. This is my road to stardom, and I could not be more thankful for it taking place with you—my greasy-haired co-star.
Now that I can't remind you before each scene—remember to wash your hair, or it will turn into a solid block over time. I know you're in love with Sal. But your biggest love is your hair—tragically.
The director took a real chance with hiring me—being all unknown to most. You never treated me any differently than if I was the president myself. For that, I both like to thank you and congratulate you. Fame hasn't gone to your head.
It was a short few months it took to grow on each other like a tic. But to put it into perspective—I've been married to Greg less time than I've known you. You've made a great impact on my life, and I hope I did the same for you. And... I hope you're popping that alcohol-free champagne right about now that you're well home. Celebrate Jailhouse Rock wrapping up! Plus, here's to having kids and all that—our summer traditions are waiting.
Keep your promise, E. Tell her.
Lots of love and wishes of luck.
Judy.
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Her words felt like a blessing and a heartfelt goodbye. Reading them, Lord—I missed her. Reminding myself she's gone, I keep finding myself thinking she's back in Hollywood on set. Judy never came to Graceland, which made it easier to believe in the lie my mind created to keep my heart safe. Your mind and body were great masters at giving you breaks from grieving to survive the unbearable. Losing a cousin last year, I knew that much.
Lowering the letter to my lap, I leaned back on the fallen tree trunk I'd been sitting by once before. This time on a red and black checkered blanket. Sniffing, I dragged the thin summer cardigan under my nose, having had no choice but to do so. What should have been the start of her life, her climb to whatever she wanted—being an actress, dancer, singer, or having her family life with Greg, ended with leaving her mark on this world with the love she shared with others. It wasn't enough to fulfill her life, but it certainly was enough to find her way into the hearts of those who knew her.
«Have you... have you read it?» Sal's soft voice broke into my train of thought as she came carrying a basket of heavenly steaming baked goods and, hopefully, a few bottles of Pepsi. Smiling, deeply affected eyes found hers. Her tentative ways these past few days were the cure to my grief. My 'walking medicine,' taking care of my despair. Grown from caring, she held back; she wouldn't let her anger interfere with how she handled my need to wallow. However, my stomach housed the threatening fear of when she would break into the conversation I knew would come. At the same time, I wanted us to work through it—avoiding the screaming part.
I sent her the slightest nod of my chin as she headed over to find the basked a good place at the far end of the blanket. Her upper arms brushed mine as she took a seat, coming close, keeping tabs on me no less now than a second before. Swirls of silk whispered of Sal's presence as her locks of hair touched my shoulder. But then it moved as her slender hand found its way to my hair with her gentle way of carrying herself. As my cheek went for her open shoulder, I folded the letter. I'd tell Sal how I felt about her someday, but not through Judy's letter.
«Are you... are you okay?» She whispered, as her lips talked into my hair—holding me close. Lanky fingers stroked through my hair as she shifted to cup my outer upper arm, consoling me with such warmth. You could say tragedy brings people closer together, as Sal pictured that saying well. I unapologetically relished in her touch.
«I'm... Heh... It was a lovely letter, honey. I don't know what I am, though.» I breathed out, confused by my own mind playing tricks on me and exhausted by looking past them. «Did you bring the cards?» I asked, knowing Billy had taken a liking to them and might not have let Sal run off with them.
«I did. I brought Pepsi too.» Her upbeat voice uttered.
«Thank God.» I enunciated with a heavy breath, dramatically inclined.
«Thank God? I'm pretty sure I moved my feet on my own.» She smirked, playing off being offended as I gave her credit away, making a rounded burst of longed-for laughter escape me.
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Popping a second bottle of Pepsi, I pressed the sugary liquid to my lips. That striding, long, stretched-out body of mine supported itself at my elbow. And as if taking notes on my posture, Sal mirrored me and held her cards on the opposite side of the deck of shuffled cards. I had the nerve to let the crook of my smile get pulled upwards by an imaginary fish hook. She held her cards close, studying them, and the sight of her eyes crossing made me chuckle.
«What?» One of her eyebrows tried climbing her forehead as she plunged her cards into her chest.
«Nothing,» I smirked, struggling not to show any more signs of laughter.
Handing her other eyebrow a ladder, both of them now rose. Sal tilted her head as to say, 'I don't believe you for shit.' «Sure it was.»
«No, it wasn't,» I said, pulling the Pepsi bottle close to show off my very own crossed eyes.
Faster than lightning going for the kill, she fetched the checkered kitchen towel covering my Mama's baked goods and slapped me silly once. «Hey!» I called apprehensive, chuckling through my words. «Now, you really remind me of your mom last year.»
Cleverly, a cheeky smile showed on her lips—dragging the moment out as if preying on prey. «Careful, you don't want me to remind you of my father.»
Opening and closing my mouth, stunned by the turn of events, Sal got me straight into thinking back to Earnest's judgy glare with lowered glasses in the hall of the apartment in Madison that winter night of last December. «Ooooh... No, I don't.» I weighed my words, smirking in the corner of my lips.
Left at a faint angle, I stabled the Pepsi bottle against the fallen tree trunk and reached for my face-down cards. The inner edges of my eyebrows tried imitating an arrow as I thought through my possible moves. Sal's frame captured my eyes. Put to rest; she left her cards and cheek on the blanket.
My chin moved an inch to watch her strand of hair circle her cheek, and I had to stop my urge to brush her hair away to the nook of her ear. «Tired?»
«Maybe a little.» Cute as a button, her eyes closed with a smile.
Nodding for no one to see, I gazed blankly from the cards at my hand, resting my eyes on the blanket down below. Thinking back and forth, going through the thoughts within me where I wondered in which state our relationship truly was at, I couldn't take going on unsure any longer. I had carried the fear of her mind since the day before I came home, and I'd had enough of the pretending. «Sal?» I swallowed nervously, but my voice stayed calm. If only the calm before the storm.
«Yeah?» Her eyes flung open, obviously having been almost asleep.
Giving her a crooked smile as an apology for springing on her, I frowned, bothered by my thoughts. «Can we talk... Like really talk?»
Her whole presence changed from relaxed to strained as she sat up. She cupped her raised knee as her other leg reached a destination below her arched one. «Elvis, I don't know... I'm really upset about you-know-what, and I don't want to start something we can't handle now.»
With my weight at my elbow, I felt my searching eyes going for her profile—just to find her looking straight ahead into the wild. «We can't go on like this forever,» I tried encouraging her to give it a go anyway.
«No, but we could a little longer.» She suggested with her shaded blue falling to her hands, as her pupils seemed to take over. Almost disappearing, her voice went out by the end of her sentence. From utterly aware of me, she wouldn't spare me a glance.
Could she not even look at me? Oh, honey. How much has she been real these past few days, and what parts weren't? «Are you angry with me all the time?»
The mere mention of being angry made her strive for a silent breath as she closed her eyes in thought for a second. Her face hardened. Now looking damp, she released her pressed-together lips and intertwined her fingers to hug her knee. «.. Hmm... no. But when I think about it, I'm furious.» She answered in her best reflective manner.
«I know I fucked up.» Biting my lips hard the second I had spoken, Sal faced me with eyes of honesty.
«Yes, you did.» She nodded with flat lips.
Agreeing with her, nodding, I exhaled enough air to give power to a hot air balloon. Dropped like stale fruit, I let go of my cards and gestured my hand to the world. «Of course, you should be allowed to drive alone; I'm just worried. I don't want the press to chase you down the street if you go off to shop alone.» Sal had every right to be mad at me. Hell, far beyond mad.
Her restrained gaze dipped her toes at the shore, unsure of me. And like the many past outlooks, her gaze again met the checkered pattern underneath us at the clearance of her throat. It was clear as the sky that she held back, even now, talking about it. «...I thought you just didn't want me to leave Graceland at all.» Nearly muted, she spoke.
More of my ice blue revealed itself, and widened eyes tested her ocean. I hadn't even thought in the direction she suggested. Did she think I'd done this to avoid her escaping me and running away? «That's foolish, Sal. I gave you a car.»
«Which I haven't been able to use.» Seen halfway driven up the wall, Sal's coldly gifted harsh stare and towering eyebrows made cracks across her earlier controlled manners. Next, she lowered her gaze, actually reminding me of her father.
Given into an itch, I slowly but surely scratched the bridge of my nose and closed one eye—almost feeling like I tried to dig into my brain to sort through my choices. What I'd said and done was a letdown, and I saw how mixed up my actions had been. Not just that, this all seemed pretty unsettling—on another level. I had taken control of her.
At one point, I needed to get something out. My index finger had worked as the minute hand on a clock, back and forth, but as I let go of reddened skin, my expression grew to dismay with myself. «No... I... I realize I told security to hold off on letting you go while I was away. That's extremely intrusive. I'm sorry.»
Signs of slight relief showed across Sal's face. «It really is Elvis. Thank God you get it... Why did you do that?» Hastily talking as if she couldn't get the words out fast enough, she firmly pronounced her thanks to God. Her eyes were filled with confusion by the end of her question.
«I told ya, I wanted you safe.» I distinctly repeated.
Accusing me of wretchedness just by how she looked at me, my answer didn't check any of her boxes. «And you didn't tell me you'd asked them to stop me until I noticed myself.» She said, living between a statement and a question mark as my mind circled her words.
Abrupt and raspy sounds surfaced as I cleared my throat, and my eyes fell guiltily to a basement level. «Well... no... Again I'm sorry. I took the liberty of thinking I could... decide for you. Be in charge.» Daring to face her, I had spoken the truth. I had given myself the right to make decisions for the both of us—without even thinking much of it.
Flabbergasted, she sat back against the fallen trunk with rapidly blinking eyes. «Well, that is a bit disturbing.»
Nodding, I knew it was. It wasn't a conscious choice where I held her back at Graceland to deliberately take control of her. The lines of our relationship were blurred, and I had been too thoughtless to think through what I was doing—making irrational decisions on the go based on worry. «I forget my place when it comes to you.»
«Elvis... I trusted you.» She exclaimed, whirling her whole body around in one throw of an action. She didn't slam her arm, but the placement of her elbow and gripping hand at the tree truck said it all. Her legs folded sideways underneath her, not fully resting as if she had the urge not to sit still. Her desperate need to tell me how I'd betrayed her trust by crossing a line I shouldn't have, shined through her eyes. «I've moved in under your roof, but whatever I am to you, whichever place I have in your life, you can never do what you just did again. I'm not your property. You can not order your guards or anyone else to control what I'm allowed to do. Not only did you betray my trust, you asked other people to take control of another life. This is serious, Elvis. I... I'm really trying not to yell at you because of the circumstances. But you should know—we have a long way to go to work through this before I feel just as comfortable as I did with you again.»
It struck a nerve in me. Each sentence etched itself onto my skin and, word by word, settled within me. It didn't matter if she were mine. Had she been my wife, I still couldn't fuck up and make such decisions on her behalf—on anyone's behalf. «I'll do the work,» I said, dedicated to making amends and repairing what I'd broken between us.
With the indication of a softer-looking Sal, she intently nestled her eyes in mine. «I hope you will. I want to trust you again.»
No more words were spoken for a while as we both entered the world of thoughts. Drifting. In the corner of my eye, Sal reached down to pick at the edge of the folded corner of a flipped Five of Hearts. As calm as the blowing wind, there were no signs of our normal screaming matches.
The movement of checkered red and black made the cards shift nowhere close to being worthy of Richter scale but enough to capture Sal's attention as I settled down. Thereupon I granted her a little smile. «Not yelling—I think that's a good step to take in whichever way you look at it.» I referred to her wanting to hold back because of the loss of loved ones.
Wetting her lips to give herself a moment to think, she found her sincere words. «You're right. Sometimes it just feels so good to let my frustration with you show... But I know it's not that healthy. We've gotten better with time, though. We reason with each other more now than we did—instead of fighting.»
Absorbed by her and how she handled herself, admitting to the flaws we owned but tried to outpace ourselves from—my eyes traced lines of her face like I followed and stood behind her words.
I thought of how I had heard of her reaction when she tried going out and couldn't. Travis and Dave had reported to Red that it wasn't the most delighted version of Sal that had backtracked. Knowing how she felt about this, I felt like shit. «Sal, hearing you explain how you experienced this—I'm such an idiot.»
«Can't argue with that.» She frankly expressed, raising both her palms up.
Her underlined but mild animosity crossed the edge into an abrupt stop.
Wants to salvage whatever I could came forth through taking action. Getting off of my back, I sat up enough to rest my arm on the tree trunk. Pointing at 'whatever comes around goes around,' Sal had to know what led us here.
My hands moved to fold earnestly before me as I shook my head—wishing to convey I took this seriously. «I know you're not something I own. I know that... I just want you to know I do not think like that. The fear of something happening to you while I was away—it made me lose sense of what's appropriate. I do not intend for this to be an excuse. You just need to know that I lost my mind for a minute and a half. I wouldn't have seen the extent of what I was doing without you making me see it, though. I'll be honest about that. I look at you, and I think I need to do whatever it takes to feel like you're safe. I see now how toxic that is.» Making each fingertip touch the other as I spoke, I dropped my hands to rest as I ended my speech.
«A minute and a half, hah? That's quite a while if I remember correctly.» I had just watched her listen intently, and as her playful smile grew, a part of me felt at peace.
A prominent curve took place on my lips with a chuckle. «Don't try telling the Colonel that.» As dry as the desert, I spoke in tones of hilarity.
Lasting longer than any smile had done since I uttered her name, wanting to talk, she prolonged her jollity, humming. But in swelled-up focus, she took a breath. «I appreciate your honesty, and for messing up badly, I can see why you, in a skewed look at the world, could come to the conclusion of keeping me safe—but how you went about it is all wrong, and you are completely right that it's not an excuse. What you should have done and can consider next time is to sit down with me and security to map out a plan of how to execute keeping people safe outside of Graceland.»
How could I have been this dense? Hearing both sides of what went down to end up where we're sitting, I bit one side of my lower lip—I couldn't help but question why I hadn't considered what she suggested. «It does sound a whole lot more reasonable.» Unable to comprehend her casually thrown-out gold star solution and how far from it I had been, I let one brow shoot up in slow motion as I lightheartedly goggled at her.
«It didn't even take much effort to come up with.» She nodded, shrugging.
«Can you forgive me?» Warmly, I asked her about the one thing I wanted to know the most.
The corner of her lip turned upwards in a sweet manner. «I sort of did already when you realized it was a bad idea and maybe even a little before that—when we got ready for Judy's funeral. I don't trust you, but I forgive you.»
The relief of a century went through me, but I knew her forgiveness was far from enough. «I can't say how sorry I am. You should've never been put in the position of me controlling you. I truly value your forgiveness—I... I... God, I'm so sorry, honey. You have to know... I respect you so much, Sal, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.»
Seeing her tense up at the word respect, I worried about what would come when she spoke. A frown sailed its way across her, shaking her head. «You have a lot of power, Elvis. You have to understand that before you can say you respect me when you pull what you just did. This is why... I can't go back to trusting you until I know I can. You have such a temper, Elvis, and on my first day here, you manhandled me—dragging me off to the second floor to show off your dominance to Lamar. It wasn't just that; it was an emotional, impulsive reaction. After what you did now, how can I know you won't get upset and make a hasty decision? If you want to, you can make the world spin for you.»
Out of breath, she ended on a note I got overwhelmed by. Shit. «I kind of get why you didn't think we could handle this now...» I confessed to understanding. Maybe a little too late.
Caring eyes were on me as she lifted her gaze from the Five of Hearts she still picked at. «Yeah... But we aren't screaming—though I have to admit my part is due to...»
«Judy...» I completed her sentence with my head hung low and chin pointed at my heart—the place where it all lived. The exposed palm of my hand got into a needed bothered drag from my forehead to my cheek.
Off to my side, I spotted her nodding, but what got to me was her hand coming into my downcast view to take mine endearingly. The cooled, inanimate metal of my index ring got locked between her fingers as we intertwined. But we were nothing but proof of living souls.
Though feeling like a rockslide, Sal could hold me up like a steady mountain. Putting up hinders where I wouldn't trip. She had been my escape, reaching in when I had no foundation to stand on alone in lonesomeness. Whether in a room crowded like no other, chased, or hid behind curtains of snowflakes and Santas that I handled with my compulsiveness.
All eyes were at the touch of each other. «At least this makes me hope we can be civilized and not always react over the top.» A trying, cheery Sal spoke, leaving me to nod, thinking back on how we'd done things earlier. Within me, I saw our screaming matches, while it now looked like this.
«Seeing myself from your point of view... I get you're on the edge with me. You tried telling me I'm... not very good at handling anger... and I didn't listen.» Remembering I didn't give a damn last time, I regretted it.
«You have no idea how relieved I am hearing you say this, Elvis.» Surprisingly, a cathartic Sal moved in closer with an almost heavenly tone to her. Each word was pronounced as if it gave her great pleasure. She got to her knees and fell forward to embrace me. We no longer shared hands, but she hung onto my neck, and our fingers were replaced by much greater closeness as I put my arm around her and tucked her onto my sinking frame. Not taking her nearness for granted, I breathed in, relieved not all comfort with me was lost.
As she moved a few inches away, she slid down next to me on top of now spread-out cards, making me chuckle. My arm at her shoulders shook from my humoured sounds. «Honey, I'm not too sure Billy will appreciate having cards folded in all directions.» My underarm grazed her lap as I reached over her thighs to pick up a card beside her, folded in the middle and corner. Swiftly, my arms trapped her as I formed a hoop to switch hands, handing myself the card. Hovering above her shoulder, I held the card. And I will admit I did it only so I could easily keep my arm in her lap. Undetected. Shift her focus. Emotions of thrill were going through me.
«Are you sure? It's way easier to hide what cards you have at hand if they're folded.» She tilted her head amusingly, burying her way into my eyes.
Outside of a shred of laughter, my smile turned into a warm gesture. «I'm happy he has taken a liking to you so much.»
Indisputably readable, the way she sprouted like summer grass could be seen as her blue surrendered to her lap and my arm. Her upper lip took hold of her lower lip, but no matter what, I knew she wanted to smile. And so she did, as she broke out happily beaming. «So you've seen we're getting along, hah?»
Content with how she blended with my family, I chuckled. «How could I not? He's like a tic on ya'.» I exclaimed, grinning, noting Judy used the same expression for her and me.
Gentleness had moved in as she turned to face me. I felt her frame move against my arms as she yawned out of nowhere. Her sinking eyelashes had caught up with her. Smiling kindly, all I needed to do, was drop the folded card and nudge her closer. And moreover, she gave in; her cheek lounged on my chest and open shoulder, and she unwinded entwined in my arms.
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Author's note:
From screaming matches to reaching out even when it storms—quite a difference, right? What are your thoughts on Sal's and Elvis' dynamic amid the loss of Judy and their conflict? Looking back, what do you see within their duo now? How do you see their relationship? Are you surprised by their way of handling this?
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— Unintentional easter egg —
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I randomly chose Five of Hearts as the card Sal picked at. And while editing, I went to check if card names were to start with capital letters. Don't you think the first thing I saw was a page explaining the meaning of each card?
Five of Hearts represents marriage. It surrounds a relationship on the right track and gives way to better one's relationship—either through reconnecting a love that had been long ignored or finally returned.
I don't know about you, but that one really got to me. It's the most beautiful coincidence I've encountered in the writing world. And MAN! You better believe I'm gonna use this somewhere within Sal and Elvis' story again. It is too good not to. So expect a return of Five of Hearts at one point.
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(Chapter 56/64)
This chapter is edited with Grammarly.
New chapter every week (Tuesdays)
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