"Ew, look at my face in this picture." Pope leans over to see the selfie I took not even five seconds ago. "I try to be cute and then these pictures give me a reality check." I'm not looking at him, but I'll bet everything I own that he's shaking his head right now.
"You know you're beautiful Kiara. Stop it." I turn away from my phone to see him resume playing Mario Kart. "Now if you could be quiet, I'm trying to concentrate." I roll my eyes and go back to taking selfies.
Summer is coming to a close. School starts again in two weeks. Normally that would be a total bummer, but this summer hasn't exactly been one for the record books. I almost lost my best friend, we fought so much. But then again it wasn't all bad. I started dating a guy that I never thought at all I would fall for. There's a certain freedom I feel with him that I've never experienced before. I've talked to him about going on a road trip, but with school right around the corner, I know my dad won't let that fly. He is starting to warm up to J though, that's progress. They aren't best friends or anything, but he doesn't hover that much anymore whenever he comes over.
I hear a text message come through and smile assuming it's J. I furrow my brows when I see it's my dad telling me to be home for dinner. That's weird. He's usually still at The Wreck at that time. I don't give it any further thought and tell him I'll be home soon. I sigh and lay back on the bed. Pope is still concentrating on the game, so I open Instagram. I immediately click on JJ's story and see that he's at John B's smoking a blunt. He asked me if I wanted to go with him, but I decided to spend some time with my best friend. All of my free time is spent with JJ, so I don't want to neglect Pope even more than I already have. I click 'like' on Sarah's recent mirror selfie that she posted. I spend a few more minutes going through Instagram before checking the time and deciding I should head home before my dad starts calling me.
"Hey Pope, my dad insists that I be home for dinner. So, I'm about to head out." I sit up and see him pause the game.
"I feel like I hardly see you anymore. Promise we'll hang out again soon?" he gets up to stretch.
I smile at my best friend. "I promise I'll come over again soon. School starts soon and we'll be seeing each other every day anyway. How about you give me another surf lesson when we see each other again? I'm choosing to forget the fact that the first round went so terrible."
He chuckles. "I do admit I started losing patience with you after a while. I'll be better this time since I know what to expect."
I roll my eyes and raise my middle finger. "You're the worst teacher ever. But I can't help but keep coming back for more." I stand up and slip my flip flops on. I walk towards Pope and give him a hug. "Love you. I'll text you after dinner."
"Love you. See you later." He sits back down and starts another round of Mario Kart.
I say goodbye to the Heywards as I'm leaving the house. I smile to myself as I get inside my car. I don't bother with the aux cord and just let the radio play this time. I automatically switch to J's favorite station. He's been really into Reggae lately and it's starting to rub off on me. It's all we listen to whenever we're in his car.
I'm pulling into my driveway quicker than I expected. I grab my phone and lock the door after I'm outside my car. I take my time walking up the steps to the front porch and set my keys down in the bowl once inside the house.
"Dad?" I get no response and check the kitchen. The kitchen is empty, but I see the back door is slightly ajar. I head that direction and see my dad sitting in a lounge chair but he's not alone. I've just placed my hand on the doorhandle when I see my mom sitting in the chair beside him.
"What the fuck is he doing here!?" Both heads snap in my direction before the words have even left my mouth.
"Kiara, don't talk about your mother like that." I hear my dad scold me, but my eyes are still locked on my mom. "I invited her here so you two can talk. She misses you and I know you are upset with her but she's still your mother. You two should have a relationship."
"She betrayed us dad, betrayed you, and you just expect me to forgive her just because she apologized? It doesn't work like that. She'll be lucky if I ever decide to speak to her again." I run upstairs to my room before they can see me cry. I hate her so much. Our family would still be in one piece if it wasn't for her. Dad would still be happy if it wasn't for her.
I crash on my bed and let the tears flow. I don't even attempt to stop them. "Kiara?" I hear mom's voice before she comes inside my room. I look over at the door and then turn my body the other way.
"I'm not accepting visitors at the moment." I sniffle and swipe my eyes.
"Can we talk please honey? I know I'm the last person you want to talk to but please hear me out." I feel her hand on my shoulder briefly before I shrug it off.
"What more is there to say mom? I don't have anything to say to you."
"That's okay baby. Just listen." I wipe my nose and wait for her to continue. "You have to know I never meant for any of this to happen. I loved your father very much, a part of me will always love him. He gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for, you. I know you don't want to hear this but somewhere along the way I just stopped being happy with Mike. I know that doesn't justify what I did and I'm not making excuses for myself. I'm just trying to be honest with you. I know you hate me, and you have every right to, but I love you and I'm never going to stop trying to repair our relationship. You mean everything to me. You are the most important person in my life, I would do anything for you. So please Kiara, find it in yourself to forgive me. It kills me every time I call, and you don't pick up. I miss you. I don't see you every day anymore, so the next best thing is hearing your voice." I slowly turn towards her and see that her eyes are full of unshed tears. She grabs my hand, and I don't pull away.
"I don't know when we'll be okay again, mom. You did the worst possible thing you could do to us and I'm not over that yet. It still hurts me every time I think about it. It pisses me off. Dad did everything for us, mom." My voice cracks and I take a breath trying to avoid more tears. "He did everything for us, and you went and cheated on him. If you really loved dad that would have never happened. If you really loved me, you wouldn't have done that." I feel a few tears hit my lip and just look at my mom. "I- I don't want to be around you right now. Please leave."
I rip my hand away from hers and turn facing away from her again. "I love you Kiara, never forget that." I hear her sniffle and then footsteps shortly after. Once my door closes, I know for sure that I've been left alone. Who does she think she is showing up here hoping I'll forgive her? She must have known this little visit of hers wasn't going to turn out the way she wanted. I feel a fresh set of tears leave my eyes when suddenly my phone rings. It's J.
"Hey beautiful."
"J..."
"Kie? Are you crying?"
I sniffle. "My mom came over. I want to hate her so bad, but she's still my mom."
"Do you want me to come over?"
"Yes. I need you." I wipe my eyes again.
"I'll be there soon, love you." The line goes dead before I can say it back. I lay my phone down beside me and close my eyes. I'm such a mess. Today wasn't supposed to go like this. Dad really knows how to ruin my day.
I will admit I am torn though. I want to hate her so badly, but I can't. She's my mom and I'll always love her. I hate what she did to me and my dad, but she said she wasn't happy. It wouldn't be right for her to stay with my dad because of me, right? I wonder how long she'd been unhappy before she did that horrid act that changed our lives completely.
I hear my dad yelling downstairs and guess that J finally made it here. A couple minutes later I hear my door open and look over to find J staring at me. He slowly walks over to my bed and slips his shoes off before jumping into bed with me. I scoot closer to him and wrap my arms around his neck. Him rubbing my back triggers my cries again. I bury my face in his neck and he holds me even tighter. I can faintly him hear him say, "It's okay baby. I'm here."
When I've finally calmed down, I move my head to see J's face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry for so long."
A corner of his mouth lifts and he kisses my forehead. "It's okay. I can tell you really needed to get that out."
I sniffle and turn around to grab a tissue from my nightstand. I wipe my eyes and my nose and toss it in the trash. I turn back towards JJ and lay my head on his chest. He wraps his arms back around my waist and we stay like that for a while.
"I don't mean to trigger anymore tears, but what did your mom say to you?"
"She said that she was unhappy, that's what led to her cheating. And she said she wants me to forgive her. I can tell you right now that won't be happening anytime soon. It's too fresh, you know?"
He leans down to kiss my head again. "Yeah. I'm sorry babe."
"Can we just take a nap? I don't want to move right now." I make myself more comfortable in his arms.
"What about your dad? He threw a fit when he saw me running up here."
"He'll live. I'll just say you were comforting me and then we fell asleep. Which is technically the truth."
"Okay. Sweet dreams my love." I smile and let sleep sweep over me.
JJ is gone when I wake up. I'm tucked into bed all alone. I frown and sit up in search of my phone. I spot it on my nightstand and find a text from J.
J ♡
I didn't want to leave you, but your dad woke me up and said I had to go. You look so beautiful when you're asleep babe. I took a picture for me to look at whenever I'm missing you. I love you Kie. You are by far the best part of my day. I'll call you tomorrow.
I smile the biggest smile and heart the message. I would call him right now, but it's one in the morning and he's probably sleeping. I must have been asleep for a while. A yawn comes over me and I stretch. There's no way I'll be able to go back to sleep now.
I grab my laptop and open Netflix. I put on New Girl and lay back in bed enjoying my favorite show. I finish season five when I start to get sleepy again. I close my laptop and get comfy in bed again.
This time when I wake up, I can smell bacon and eggs wafting through the air into my room. Dad barely makes us breakfast; he's always gone before I wake up. I press my hand to my mouth to contain the yawn I let out and head inside my bathroom. I quickly wash my face and brush my teeth. I place my hair into a messy bun and start my trek downstairs.
Upon entering the kitchen, I see my dad putting some bread in the toaster. "What's the occasion?" he turns around at the sound of my voice.
"Well, last night didn't go as planned. I know it was hard for you and I just want to try and make it up to you." He gives me a small smile and goes back to plating our food.
I grab a seat at the table and run my hand over my face. Dad sets a plate in front of me and moves to sit in the chair across from me. We eat in silence at first. I don't mind because I'm too busy enjoying this food he prepared for us. I look up and my dad catches my eye. "What happened upstairs with your mom sweetie?"
I look down and swallow the food that's in my mouth. "I don't know dad. I'm really mad at mom right now, she hurt us. It doesn't make sense to me that she would go and do something like that. I know she's my mom but that was a really shitty thing of her to do. How do you expect me to come back from that? She completely broke our family apart. It makes me question if she even cared about us at all." I pick up a slice of bacon and take a bite. I scrape some eggs onto my fork and put it in my mouth when I hear my dad's voice again.
"Of course, she cares baby. She wouldn't try so hard to talk to you or wouldn't have accepted my invitation if she didn't. I know how much what she did hurt you, it hurt me too. I just wish she would have talked to me instead of resorting to other methods. But I did not expect last night to go that way. I knew you weren't going to welcome her with open arms, but I also didn't expect you to disrespect your mother either. I can't force you to speak to her and I won't. What I do want is for you to try. Please try. If not for your mother, then for yourself."
I look at my dad and sigh. "I'll think about it. I can't guarantee anything, but I'll consider it." He gives me a grim smile and nod then we finish eating. I offer to do the dishes, but he shoos me away, so I head upstairs to my room. I decide to shower and properly get ready for the day.
After my shower, I put on a short red floral print dress. It has a couple strings in the front that I tie to my satisfaction. I release my hair from its confines and properly run a brush through it. Once that's done, I grab my favorite scrunchie and place my hair in a neat bun with two hairs hanging down to frame my face. I sway and turn every which way in the mirror to fully assess whether I like this or not. Surprisingly, I really love what I've put together. I grab a random tube of clear lip gloss laying on my dresser and pop some on my lips quickly. I rub my lips together and look in the mirror once more.
I stand in the mirror and take a few mirror selfies that end up going on my Instagram story. I slip on some tan sandals while I grab my keys and phone then head downstairs. My dad turns his head my direction when he hears me coming down the stairs. "Where are you off to?"
"I was thinking about going to Sarah's or maybe meet up with JJ. Is that cool with you?"
"Yeah, just as long as you're back in time for dinner. It's time that I've properly had a conversation with that boyfriend of yours. If you insist on seeing him, I need to get to know him."
"Dad," I furrow my brows, "I don't want you giving him the third degree. We both know you're not his biggest fan when it comes to our relationship. If this dinner comes with any ulterior motives, then I'll decline on his behalf."
Dad comes to stand in front of me. "Look sweetie, I'm really trying here. I know how much he means to you so I'm trying to give him a chance. Just make sure he's here for dinner tonight, okay?" I smile and give my dad a hug. He kisses my head and gives me one last squeeze before retreating to the living room.
I send a text to Sarah asking what she's up to on the way to my car. Right when I turn the car on, I hear my phone ringing. It's J. I place the phone on speaker.
"Hey, beautiful."
"Hey, J." I smile.
"So, remember that date I promised to take you on weeks ago that never happened?"
"Yeah?"
"I was thinking maybe we could go on that date right now. Are you free?"
"Yes. Where should I meet you?"
"Meet me at the arcade. I'll see you in 20."
"Okay, see you in 20." He hangs up and I pull onto the road. I wasn't expecting to go on a date today, but I'm glad I dressed cute. I connect my phone to Bluetooth and click shuffle on my playlist. I know I must look goofy to the people I pass by with me jamming out to the music in my car. I can't help it that I have impeccable taste in music.
I make it to the arcade in fifteen minutes and find a spot close to the door. Once I'm parked, I send a text to J letting him know I'm here. A few minutes later I look over and see his car pulling up next to mine. He smiles at me and motions for me to come over. I unbuckle my seatbelt and get out the car. I lock the door and walk to the passenger side of his car.
He leans over to open the door for me, and I'm met with my favorite blue eyes as I sit down. We take a few minutes staring at each other. I put my arm on the console and lean over to connect our lips. I place my hand on his cheek and deepen the kiss. God, I love his lips. We could just spend all day kissing and I'd be satisfied. Any time his lips are on me I get all tingly. He's the first to pull away.
"Goddamn, Kie. You can't get into my car looking like this and expect me not to want to ravish you." I kiss him again and lean back in the seat.
"This old thing?" I fiddle with my dress. "It's nothing special."
"You're lucky we're in public right now and I have an ounce of self-control. If we stay in this car though, I see that changing soon." He places his hand on my thigh.
"What's this date you were talking about on the phone earlier?" This earns a smile from him.
"I want to do something first, before we go inside." He lifts the console and pulls out a small bag of weed. "What do you say?"
"Yes, it's been a while but yes." He starts getting the blunt ready for us and I take the opportunity to snap a picture of him. He flips me off and I take a picture of that too. As always, he lets me take the first hit and I immediately relax. I pass him the blunt as I exhale.
"So, what are your plans for the rest of the summer?" He takes a hit while waiting for my response.
"I don't know really. I've been thinking about meeting up with my mom. I talked to my dad this morning and he really wants me to try to make up with her. What do you think?" I grab the blunt from him and take another hit.
"I don't think I'm the right person to ask. Both my parents are shit." I just look at him as smoke comes from my mouth. "But since you asked, I agree with your dad. If your mom is making an effort, you should definitely try to work things out."
I take another hit and pass it to him. "She ruined our family though, J. I can't just get over that and act like everything is fine."
"I'm not saying you need to forgive her right now, but it wouldn't hurt to give her a chance. If things go south at least you can say you tried." He takes another hit and puts out the blunt.
"Okay, I'll try." He grabs my hand and I give it a squeeze.