The Italian was not any more there vision which she had in front of the eyes, this vision, beautiful, marvellous, loving and benevolent, in love, had been replaced by the red face of anger of her father, whose blue eyes as hers, but injected of blood, was fixing her without even blinking while shouting at her. She couldn't hear anything anymore, she was just on the ground, scared as ever.
---
-"Are you kidding me?! How long has this charade been going on?! You've got to be kidding me Maya! And you sleep in the same room too! How long have you two been together, if that's what you are?! I don't believe this! I didn't raise a dyke! You're embarrassing me! And aren't you afraid of the image you're sending out?!"
- "You're the only one who's bothered by it!!!" Carina had shouted at him. "I forbid you to speak to her like that!"
He had turned around, looking even blacker.
- "Who are you to tell me how to talk to my daughter?! You are nobody!"
Katherine, Mason and Maya's friends had all come down behind the Italian, but no one was saying anything.
- "You don't talk to Carina like that!" The blonde had gotten up and was standing behind her father with clenched fists.
He had turned around again, this time to his daughter.
"You talk to me any way you want, but you don't have to raise your voice at Carina!"
The last thing Maya had seen, had felt, was the backhand of Lane's hand come crashing down on her cheek.
Carina had immediately jumped on her girlfriend's father's back and started pounding him with her fist against his shoulder.
-"I forbid you to touch her!" Had shouted the Italian.
Of a gesture of controlled shoulder it had sent waltzing the brunette on the ground and the coach and the buddies of Maya had interposed themselves.
-"Mr. Bishop, I'm going to ask you to leave the school."
Katherine on her side had taken Mason in her arms and she had placed the head of the young man against her chest, hiding his eyes, the hand on his ear, since they had arrived downstairs.
-"You're nobody here! You don't have to give me orders!"
- "I'm a teacher here and you're in a high school, would you rather I call the police?!"
- "Maya you get up let's go!!!" said Lane to her daughter who had gone to pick up her lover, who was still on the ground.
Katherine had come down the stairs.
- "no, she's not going with you"
-"You take care of the artist! Maya is my daughter..."
- "and she's mine too! And she's not coming home with us. Not tonight, not with you like this! Now, if you don't want to lose your family here and tonight, let's go. All three of us, with Mason.
But never again! Listen to me, Lane, that was the first and last time you ever laid a hand on one of my children!"
His mouth was agape, of course he knew Katherine could be a protective mother, but he never imagined she would dare threaten to leave him or even look back at him like that, publicly or otherwise.
- "this conversation isn't over!" He made as he pointed at the blonde on the floor.
- "you go to your car!!!!"
Katherine had knelt down next to the girls.
"I'm sorry my loves." She had taken Carina's hand and stroked her daughter's cheek. "I'll come and bring you some clothes to Andy's... You'll go to Andy's, right?"
She had tears in her eyes but wanted to be strong in front of them.
- "Protect Mason."
- "yes he makes the slightest move, I can assure you that you won't have a father anymore."
-"I'm sorry, Mom," Maya said as she burst into tears.
-"I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you, I love you both. I love you and you are the most beautiful couple I know. I love you."
She had taken both girls in her arms. "I'll come by to see you tonight. I'll drop off some clothes and money for you."
She had hugged Maya and Carina one last time before getting up, then she had left to see Andy.
- "can you take care of my daughter? Again"
- "she's my sister from a different mother" replied the Puerto Rican smiling at her best friend's mother.
Kathy smiled and hugged Andy, while Mason helped Carina and Maya to their feet and gave them both a hug.
Katherine and Mason had left, apologizing again to the other coaches and those present. And Maya had turned her head toward the bleachers and toward the track. Everyone was looking at her, at her and Carina.
The blonde had lowered her head. She didn't know where to look. She had probably never been so ashamed in her life.
She had let go of the brunette's hand that she was holding and had run away.
-"Maya!!!" Carina had yelled. She had started to run towards her girlfriend but Andy had stopped her.
- "Give her five minutes" the blonde's best friend had gestured to the coach to ask if they could get the meet back on track and keep the runners out of the locker room, at least not right away.
- "she doesn't need five minutes, she needs me"
-"Carina, I assure you, please ... Just five minutes. I've known Maya for... Ever."
The Italian girl had burst into tears and Andy had taken her in hee arms. Ryan had come as well and he had hugged both girls.
-"Carina, how are you ? He, he pushed you to the ground," Ryan said. "My dad is in the police head, if he, if he needs to he, he will intervene"
- "It's nothing, I'm fine, I, I, I might have bruises. Can I go now? It's been five minutes?"
- "It hasn't been five minutes, but I can see you need it," Andy said with tears in her eyes, trying to be strong as well.
Carina had left in the direction of the locker room, she was in tears.
- "bambina? Bambina?" Asked the brunette as she entered the locker room. However, instead of an answer she could only hear Maya crying in the showers. She had arrived and the blonde was sitting on the floor, water running down her body.
The brunette had knelt down beside her.
"amore?" She asked as she placed her hand on her lap.
- "go away Carina!"
- "you... Are you mad at me? Are you... You regret..." She said, pulling her hand away from her leg.
- "never, but I'm so ashamed."
- "you never, listen to me carefully, never in our lives, to be ashamed in front of me, not in front of me, you are the love of my life and he is just a jerk!"
The blonde had begun to cry again and had dropped her head against the chest of the Italian. She had tightened her fist on the t-shirt of the brunette.
The Italian chick had then tightened her arms on her body.
-"I'm sorry" she said, crying more.
-"I love you, I love you so much Maya."
They had stayed underwater for a while, the blonde in the arms of the brunette.
A good twenty minutes later, Andy had arrived in the locker room.
-"Girls... We're going home."
- "I... I... I have clothes... But Car-Carina"
- "congratulations Carina you have won a Garfield High School track suit"
- "Will you get up, my love?" Said the Italian, running her hand through Maya's hair.
-"We can't come to your house..." asked Maya to Andy
-"Of course you can. I already called my dad, he said there's no way you're going anywhere else."
Andy had helped Carina to her feet and Carina had helped Maya to her feet.
They got out of the shower and the Italian woman took Maya's hand and led her to her locker.
She had helped her to sit on the blank where she had been sitting earlier.
-"I was happy the last time I sat on this bench."
The brunette had grabbed the bottom of her tank top and pulled it off, then her bra.
- "woww" said Andy as he turned around with her back to them.
-"I don't think Maya or I care if you see her breasts... Or mine for that matter."
Like a zombie the blonde had let herself be undressed by her girlfriend and then dressed again. Then Carina had undressed before putting on a high school tracksuit.
They had left in the direction of the parking lot and Andy had offered to drive them but Carina, having passed her license the week before, had declared that she felt fit to drive. Just if Andy could wait for them and not drive too fast.
When they arrived at Andy's house, Maya sat on the couch without a word. In fact, since the incident, she had hardly spoken at all. She had spoken to her father, she had spoken to Carina to reassure her, but she realized that she herself had not measured the extent of the feelings she might have for the Italian.
She always said she loved her more than her own life; but now she had just witnessed it. Lane had yelled at her, he had pushed her and yet it was only when he had raised his voice at Carina that she had been able to stand up to him.
She was in love with Carina and she realized that she would never be able to measure the extent of her feelings.
She was sitting there on that inert sofa and yet her brain had already thought of three thousand scenarios. All with the same end in mind, no matter what happened in the next few months, by July her heart would be ripped from her chest and she would never have one again after that.
The scene played over and over in her mind. She was kissing Carina and the next thing she knew she was on the ground, her father the only sight, he had probably never been so angry. She couldn't hear him, but she could see, she understood what he was saying to her, she could see it in the blue eyes, which looked like hers, she understood it through this finger pointed at her.
She had seen herself four years earlier when she had lost, and her father had not spoken to her for a month. She saw herself four years back sitting on that same couch.
She also thought about Mason and their mother and wondered if they were safe with him right now. If they were safe tonight, if they were safe while she was away.
She could see her mother defending them, her mother standing up to her father for the first time in her life at this point.
All of these ideas were looping in her head, at full speed, in turn. All that showed that Maya was still alive was that every forty seconds she blinked and her gaze fixed a new point, the coffee table, her hands, her feet.
Carina watched her from a distance as the living room door opened. Tonight Pruitt wasn't here yet, he hadn't come home yet and Andy was in the kitchen, making dinner as if her best friend was actually going to be able to swallow something.
Herrera had come to see if the blonde had moved. She had put her hand on Carina's shoulder and pulled her out of her trance.
-"You think I ruined her life?" Asked the Italian still looking at her girlfriend.
-"Don't ever think that and don't ever tell her that. I've never seen Maya oppose or talk to her father like that. I can assure you that she loves you and she wouldn't even put up with you implying that. She never stood up for herself, but did you see her reaction when he talked to you?"
- "but it looks like he sucked the life out of her body"
- "her brain is going three thousand miles an hour, she must be replaying the scene over and over again. She must be thinking about the future, about Mase, about her mother... And you Carina... She must be wondering what this will mean for you, for both of you"
- "I hate him ... He, he raised his hand on her" she had started to cry and Andy had taken her in her arms.
- "anyway, you jumping on his back and punching him, it was worth it!" Andy smiled, wanting to make the Italian laugh.
She had stepped back and laughed slightly.
-"I do not know what got into me, I hate physical violence ... But already he pulls her and she falls to the ground, he yells at her.... But it was the gesture of too much, I wanted to kill him!"
- "Carina?"
- "yes?"
- "go to her.... You both need it."
- "but what if she wants to be alone?"
- "when your only desire in the world is to be alone... You want to be alone, but you want Maya to be there because you are one?"
The brunette had pursed her lips and smiled sideways, still looking sad.
She had nodded.
- "obviously, my heart lives in her chest."
- "tell yourself that his lives in yours"
-"I can't even quantify the love I have for her... I couldn't even tell you the anger I felt when she was thrown to the ground, when he yelled all those things at her, and, and, and when, when he, when he slapped her"
The Italian woman had started crying again.
-"Carina... Go to Maya. You need each other more than ever."
-"How am I supposed to leave in July? I can't leave her with that monster."
- "why don't you apply to college here?"
- "I wouldn't be able to afford it, my parents wouldn't be able to afford for me to go to college in the United States,... I, I want to be a teacher.... It's not like I'm going to go into a career as a doctor or a lawyer or something, where I can pay off a student loan easily. I'm going to go do a university in Italy or Europe..."
- "I'm sorry," Andy gestured, putting her hand on her shoulder.
Herrera had returned to the kitchen and the brunette had finally decided to move from the doorway.
Carina had come forward and sat down on the coffee table. She had put her hand on Maya's, which was on her own knee, and the blonde had withdrawn her hand, reflexively.
The Italian had brought her hands to her mouth to stifle a sob and Maya had heard her and had come out of her trance. Immediately the blonde had grabbed her hands as she approached the edge of the bench.
-"I love you..." the brunette had started to smile: "...no actually no" her smile had faded: "that word sounds so derisory... I could never survive without you my love... I, I... if one day they, they offer you to come and live in the United States... If you are offered to come and live in Seattle, will you do it?"
-"without hesitating for a second. I'll try to become an Italian teacher here... Or you know, I might not want to be a teacher... And I would apply to Relentless... The head office is here, and I'm so smart that I could be one of the people working at the head office! You'll see, one day it'll be a great big company." She replied, wanting to make her girlfriend smile.
- "you could do anything"
-"I will come for you, I promise."
The blonde had pulled on the brunette's hands and moved back to the back of the couch, prompting Carina to come and sit on her.
-"I've never been so ashamed in all my life" said Maya, whose head was resting on top of Carina's chest, her eyes in the void.
-"who cares what other people think. You stood up for us, you stood up against your father, you stood up for my honor, never, never has anyone protected me like you did."
- "did you really jump on my dad's back after he gobbled me up or did I dream?" she asked with the first glimmer of a smile since what happened on the high school track.
- "he didn't have to lay a hand on you!"
- "you and me, we're not over? Even, even after this?!" Her demons were coming back faster than they had left, and even though she was in Carina's arms right now, she needed to hear it said.
- "You and I will never be over. Even if we end up getting back together with someone else in the future... You will be the only love of my life and I will love you forever."
They still weren't looking at each other. Carina sat in profile on Maya, her hand in her hair whose head was resting on her chest.
The Italian had just felt the blonde sniffle a few times, as someone would do when she started crying again, and she couldn't help shedding a few tears herself; while her aching heart was beating wildly in her chest and the sprinter could feel it beating so for her.
They had stayed for a while, the brunette's eyes closed and the blonde's empty, staring at a point, reliving awake all the nightmares she had thought of before Carina joined her.
A little over an hour after they arrived at Andy's, someone had knocked on the door. Katherine had entered after her daughter's best friend had gone to open the door.
- "She's in the living room."
Katherine had walked into the living room.
She had walked over and put her hand on Carina's shoulder. The Italian was so engrossed in her thoughts, wondering what life would be like for her sweetheart when she left, that she hadn't paid attention to her mother-in-law's arrival and she had jumped.
- "excuse me, I did not want to frighten you"
Mason was in the doorway, Andy's arms around his shoulders, his back to her chest. They were both facing the living room.
Carina had smiled at Kathy and ran her hand over Maya's cheek.
- "bambina?" She had said this to get the blonde to let go of her embrace, she had gotten up and sat down next to her as her girlfriend had taken her hand to stay there.
The mother had sat down next to her daughter. She had brought her hand up and placed it on her cheek before running her thumb over the bruise on her cheekbone.
-I'm sorry," Katherine said as if it were all her fault, her voice trembling.
Maya had blinked as she came to fix her gaze on her mother and a tear had left her eye, then run down Kathy's hand.
- "Are you okay?" Asked the blonde mechanically like a robot.
"Where, where, where is Mase?"
- "He's here" Katherine did, turning her head so that Maya would do the same.
The blonde had looked in the direction of her little brother and without taking her eyes off him, she had stood up to go in his direction, she had hugged him the moment Andy had withdrawn his arms from her shoulders.
- "Don't ever stay alone with him, you hear me?!"
Mason had been surprised. Yes his relationship with Maya had been better since Carina had been there and yet he hadn't expected her to bring what had happened today back to him.
- "I promise."
- "I love you Mase" it was probably the first time she had said it to him and the young boy had tightened his embrace on her body.
- "I love you big sister"
Katherine had started to cry too for the umpteenth time since the incident.
Once Maya had loosened her embrace, she had taken her brother's hand and led her to the couch.
She had sat back down between her mother and her girlfriend and Mase had sat on the coffee table.
- "Are you safe?" That was the first thing Maya asked to break the new silence that had fallen.
-"I'm the mother, it's my job to protect you."
- "I, I, I know how to handle his mood swings."
- "Maya, you shouldn't have to do this. You don't belong to your father. I'm the one who married him, he has to love you the way you are. That's what a parent does."
-"You like girls?! Only girls?!" Asked the blonde to her brother.
- "yes"
- "good" she did, already thinking of the other questions that were already churning in her brain.
-"Maya, how are you?" Kathy asked, trying to calm her daughter's brain.
- "he, he had no right, to, to, to touch Carina, he, he had no r-r-right"
- "and neither to you, bambina" replied the Italian woman coming to take her hand.
-"I'm sorry, it's, it's, it's, it's because of me and my, my, my choices that we're here".
-"Maya, my dear, we don't choose who we fall in love with. And I love you and I love Carina and I'm the happiest of mothers to see you so happy, as soon as your eyes rest on each other. That's what every parent wants."
- "not him..." Replied her daughter, lowering her eyes. "You, you brought us clothes?"
- "Yes, and I put some money in the suitcase I packed for you. We can't let Pruitt pay for everything."
- "and and and he, he didn't say anything?!"
- "he'll probably break a bowl or two. But that was the last straw... If he doesn't accept you, I'll have no other option but to leave him. I've put up with his temper for far too long. He didn't have to lay a hand on you, or Carina."
-"It was, it was the first time he, he hit me... Did he, did he, did he ever, smack you?"
- "no, your father can have very harsh words, but he knows that words sometimes hurt more than actions... And he is an intelligent man... Psychological abuse is harder to prove than a bruise ..."
- "why-why are you still with him?"
- "because he is the father of my children? And when he has a good day... I know that he loves me, that he loves us... And that if I left him... He wouldn't let you live in my house... With me... And I can't leave you alone with him. You are a human being not a machine. Right now you probably regret, even though you love Carina with all your being, to have started this program, because without her you wouldn't have fallen in love and he probably wouldn't have found out so soon... But I don't regret it, I've never seen you so alive, so happy, so human, as since Carina's been at home. And he leaves you more alone."
- "What... What are you going to do?"
- "like four years ago, we're going to go home... Wait for the anger to subside... I will probably sleep in your room or with Mase ... I, I can't sleep with him knowing what he did to you"
- "you, you think the school will press charges? Ag-against him?"
-"I think they're going to notify the police and it's going to be up to you whether you want to or not."
- "he just... Slapped me."
- "he didn't just slap you!" Had intervened Mason. "He also pushed you to the ground, he yelled at you, he pushed Carina to the ground!"
Maya had interrupted her and turned to the Italian, "you, you want to press charges for assault?"
- "I want what you want, but most of all, what I want most of all is to stay with you until July. I, I... Don't, don't leave me please bambina"
Carina said as she began to cry again.
Maya hugged her : "never".
-"Are you going to do anything this weekend?" Kathy asked.
-"We had a party, but I don't feel like it anymore."
- "It might do you good, take your mind off things."
-"I don't think I can," Maya said, now looking down at her fingers, which she was trying to scrape with her index finger near her thumbnail.
They had talked some more, then had some more blank moments, then Mase and Katherine had left.
By dinnertime, the three girls were around the table. Maya was more focused on, looking at her dish and sorting all the food one by one, than eating it.
Carina and Andy were looking at each other fairly regularly after taking turns looking at the blonde even more regularly.
-"I, can I go take a shower?" Asked Maya who had not swallowed anything, without taking her eyes off her plate.
- "y-yes, but don't you, don't you want to eat a little first?" Asked Andy.
-"I, I'm not hungry" she said without even looking at her, answering mechanically.
- "bambina do you, do you want me to go with you?"
T
he brunette could see one of the saddest looks in the world in Maya's eyes.
-"No, eat my love" answered the sprinter, getting up, passing her hand on her cheek and kissing Carina's forehead.
She took the bag from the floor and went upstairs, then into the bathroom where she locked the door.
-----
Good evening...
It couldn't have been rosy...
I hope you liked it despite the sadness...
xx
-¥-
PS: for your information ... The "Maya scratching the corner of her thumb" I wrote it on February 22nd... So no relation with the episode where Carina comes to get her shampoo... It's just my super power that worked again...