*• January 2013 •*
- Los Angeles, USA -
~< >~
"YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!" Harry gasped dramatically, his voice breaking up at the end. "How on earth haven't you seen Fresh Prince?"
Addie groaned, hiding her face in her hands. "I know! I'm disappointed in me too. I just... I dunno, never got around to see it."
"No way. You have to have seen it at some point."
"I haven't! I'm sorry."
"That's it. We're watching it together. End of story."
Addie grinned, knowing it would mean even more calls with Harry.
Since Harry was on tour and Addie was in LA still, they'd been doing calls two or three times a week, and texting constantly.
Louis had even joked that Addie was abandoning him for Harry.
The last three weeks had passed by in a flash, filled with endless conversations with Harry, hours rehearsing for RED Tour, and even more time in the studio, working on the next album.
Speaking of...
"Haz, hold on a second," Addie said, opening her voice memos. "Lights flash and we'll run to the bridges," she hummed the melody, "loose lips sink ships all the damn time, not this time."
"Oh, that sounds so cool," Harry commented. "But you need to stop interrupting me all the time."
Harry pouted, looking adorable with his bottom lip pushed out, curls falling messily in front of his face, flashing his light green eyes at her.
He was so gorgeous it physically hurt.
"What can I say, you inspire me, Styles."
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time, 'Cause we never go out of style. We never go out of style.
Fuck. That was such a good line.
But Addie was far too embarassed to record it in front of Harry, so instead she wrote it down, and sent it as a message to her producer, Max Martin.
"I'm flattered," Harry said, a cheshire-cat smile on his face.
Addie bit the inside of her lip, suppressing a smile. "So, tell me... when are you going to be back in town?"
"Miss me already?"
"Maybe," Addie confessed, stretching out the vocal, "What's it you?"
"Well, maybe I miss you too," Harry admitted, trying to make it sound like a joke, but his voice was too low. He meant it. "Anyways, I'm in London right now, rehearsing for tour. Can't get away anytime soon. What about you? Why don't you come and visit?"
Addie changed positions, lying down on her stomach and resting her chin against a pillow. "I can't. I'm stuck in LA because of rehearsals and studio. They want me to finish this album this year."
Addie didn't even have to say who 'they' were. Harry understood better than anyone what Syco were like.
"Seriously? Didn't you put out an album like three months ago?"
"Yep," Addie said with a sigh. She started to crack her knuckles. "But you're one to talk. Aren't you also working on an album right now?"
Harry laughed, a carefree and light sound. Addie found that his laughter was like a drug. Once you pulled out of him once, you just couldn't stop. You always wanted him to be laughing.
And the joy Addie got from making him laugh was incomparable to anything else.
"Maybe. Are we going to be each other's competition?"
"You know damn well I'll win. You may have a pretty face, but I've got the pretty music."
Harry chuckled. "So you think I've got a pretty face?"
Addie laughed once. "Of course that's what you focus on." She paused a beat. "Yeah, you're... you're beautiful, Haz."
There was a silence, as Harry's gaze softened, and something between them changed.
Going from playful and vibrant to something softer and more delicate. Like they were finally letting each other put their defenses down.
Abandoning all plans and schemes, leaving themselves barren save for their fragile hearts.
"Addie... would you like to-?" Harry began, interrupted by a door opening and shutting in Addie's house.
Addie looked up, and held up a finger to Harry. "Hold on a second, sorry," she muttered, and opened her door, to find her Mom waiting for her on the other side.
"Nena, ya está la cena," her Mom said.
Addie looked towards her phone, and said to her mom, "Sip, voy, Mamá."
She closed the door, grabbing her phone from the bed. "Hey, sorry, it's just that my family's here and we're about to have dinner, so..." Addie said, giving him an apologizing look. "I think I'll have to call you later, okay?"
Harry nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it. Have fun."
Addie grinned. "Thanks."
***
Addie's hands shook, something inside her whispering to her again and again, do it, do it, do it, do it.
Her mind told her not to. Logic told her not to.
But her heart told her to do it.
So with unsteady hands, she let the blade settle on her skin, holding her breath as she slowly dragged it over her arm.
One. Two. Three.
Switch to the other side.
One. Two.
Addie winced, looking at the bead of blood rolling down her wrist. Thin and scarce, but there was blood nonetheless.
That would be painful to clean, she knew it. Grabbing the box cutter and hiding it once again, just out of sight, under the sink, behind a mess of cleaning supplies.
Jumping up and sitting down beside the sink, she used her hand to cup the water and drop it against her hip. Cleaning with soap, she hissed at the burning sensation.
Oh god.
She did it again.
Fuck.
How was she going to hide it? She had an interview tomorrow.
Placing her head in her hands, she tried to keep her breathing under control, but before she knew it she was crying her eyes out on the bathroom floor, doing her best to keep quiet because she didn't want her family to find out.
Addie tried to keep her emotions under control, but sometimes they flooded out, everything she'd been holding back crashing against her heart like a tsunami. Leaving a wasteland in its aftermath.
***
"Hey, love," Louis said as soon as Addie picked up the call.
Addie answered, "Hi, babe, what's up? You okay?"
Addie placed the phone against her shoulder, holding it in place with her head, while struggling to open the car door.
"I needed to ask you something."
"'Course, anything," Addie said, finally managing to open the car door, and climbing out, ignoring the yelling and the flashing lights. Louis said something she didn't catch. "Sorry? What'd you say? Sorry, I'm just heading into an interview, so some paps are here."
"That explains the noise," Louis commented. "Just letting you know you're on speakerphone. We're here at the Colin Show."
"Okay... that makes me scared. What're you going to ask me?"
"Would you be willing to get a matching tattoo with me and the boys?"
"Excluding me!" Niall commented, his voice sounded distant.
Addie ignored Noelle, who was chiding her for being on the phone, and instead waited to be escorted up to the radio room.
"A matching tattoo with me and the lads, excluding Niall, because he's a coward."
"Hey!" Niall protested on the other side of the call.
Addie laughed, sitting down on a chair, and watched the producers and executives scuttle around the room, setting everything up. "It depends on the tattoo."
Addie could hear Louis' smile as he said, "So if it were a good tattoo, you'd do it?"
"Yeah. I would."
"Thank you so much for your service, love. Talk to you later."
"Bye, Lou. Bye, boys!"
Four voices chorused back to her, "Bye!"
Addie hung up the phone, and began to shake hands with people she probably wouldn't ever see again. It wasn't long before she was sitting down for her interview, and soon the questions started coming.
"I don't want to be that person," the interviewer, Alina said, "But I just need to know, did you write I Knew You Were Trouble about someone specifically?"
Addie internally sighed. "I just think that it's not very important why I write my songs, or the intention behind it, right? What's important is the meaning the listeners give to it."
"Does that mean, yes you did write it about someone, you just won't admit it?"
"No," Addie said, unconvincingly, "It's not about that. It's just that everyone wants to know who I write my songs about, but it's just- it's the one thing I still have- the one thing that makes me still have pride and still keep going, that I'm the only one who knows who my songs are about and why I wrote them. I don't think I'll ever say why I wrote my songs."
"Everyone's speculating that it's Ashton Irwin. You two have several pictures taken together, and you have the connection of both being affiliated with One Direction, you even hung out with him when performing with 1D. Is it?"
Addie exhaled deeply. "Look, Ashton and I, we didn't date, we aren't dating. I didn't write a song about him."
Alina made a tsk sound, clicking her tongue. "Here's the thing... I don't believe you. I really don't."
Addie laughed breathlessly, trying to act as if it was okay. "If you don't believe me, that's not- that doesn't mean anything, because I'm telling the truth."
Addie really was telling the truth. She'd never dated anyone before, despite what people said. She hadn't had a boyfriend before, and she had only had her first kiss less than a year ago.
And then there were tabloids and media, who claimed Addie slept with every guy she met, and if she so much as breathed around a guy, that meant she was dating him.
It wasn't fun.
Especially since she'd already been rejected several times, all because they'd read an article about how she supposedly dated a million guys.
Addie had been in a situationship not that long ago, and the guy'd finally broken things off because he couldn't take reading all the articles about Addie dating other people.
She tried to tell herself it was his loss, but was it her fault for writing so many breakup songs? For always drawing inspiration from her own life?
"Have you ever thought about just not writing songs about your exes?" Noelle asked. "I mean, if you don't like the speculation..."
Addie frowned. "But I don't write songs about my exes. I write songs about love and breakups, and everyone assumes it's based on my life, when it isn't."
"C'mon, I mean, when you date as many guys as you do, there's no way you don't write songs about that."
"I don't date guys. I don't really date, like, at all. I don't have an ex, people just assume I do."
Noelle raised her hands in defeat, but it was clear from the look on her face she didn't believe Addie.
When her interview was over, Addie took the first chance she got to escape, already heading back into the car waiting for her below, anxious to get home.
She read a text from the group chat with the boys, called 'the losers club', and saw they explained that they had made a bet to see whether or not she would agree to a tattoo.
(Louis and Zayn had won, Niall, Liam and Harry lost.)
On the drive home, Addie's phone buzzed, a text from Louis.
Lou
hi
Ads
hey, what's up?
Lou
were getting tattoos
Ads
???
Lou
when u come to lndon were
getting matching tats
Ads
okay, 1) it's we're
Ads
2) what matching tattoo?
3) when did i say i was
going to london???
Lou
brits
Lou
ur performing ur song,
right?
Ads
shit, i actually forgot
Ads
yeah, i guess i'll see you guys
then
Ads
but what tattoo???
idk if im allowed to get
one tho
Ads
im underage, bro
Lou
well do it in a spot no one
can see
Lou
and if u have ur parents
permission u can
Ads
bro, have u met my parents???
Ads
scratch that, u haven't, nvm
Ads
but anyways, they'd kill me
if i got a tattoo
Lou
fuck
Lou
i forgo u were underage
Lou
ill talk to them
Ads
what? you don't have their
numbers, dude
Ads
hello??!
a/n: so... i apparently forgot to post this chapter earlier... but HERE IT IS!!!
also, i'm hiding in the bathroom because family are visiting and i have social anxiety lmao
if you enjoyed this chapter, remember to vote and comment because i crave validation. love ya <3