*Max*
I really didn't have a good day and also now in the free practice nothing would work the way I needed it. That had never happened to me before.
I was usually really good at blocking everything out and focusing fully on driving. But today nothing would work my way.
I had been harassed, although at least the Whatsapp history had been able to prove that this point was not true. Nevertheless, the words of my father were still in the room. I hadn't had a chance to talk to him yet, but I wanted to address that urgently after training.
I needed to know what he had been thinking, even though I already had some suspicions. I just didn't want to believe that he would resort to such measures. I just didn't want him to.
But my head was so full that I could hardly manage to concentrate properly on the training session.
My times were terrible and even if Gianpiero didn't say it, I knew that they were disappointed in me.
I was a disappointment.
Fuck.
Only when Nico suddenly drove next to me and slowly but surely something like a duel developed between us did I come back. I bit into the duel and tried to get everything out of the car. At least I wanted to win this duel.
We drove against each other for a long time until we caught up with Mick at some point. I wanted to pass him on the left, he gave me enough space. We went into a corner, after which I would leave Mick and Nico behind me.
But before I really got far, I felt a knock. My car started to spin.
A big bang, then everything went black.
My head was buzzing so loudly that I could hardly perceive anything else.
I had had an accident. With Mick.
"Lia."
I tasted blood.
We had hit pretty hard. My whole body was screaming in pain. All I wanted was to get to Lia.
Where was Mick?
I wonder if he was okay.
Was he in as much terrible pain as I was?
"Lia.", I repeated.
I didn't even manage to open my eyes. My head felt way too heavy. I didn't know if I was still holding it upright. All I could feel was that my hands were still wrapped convulsively around the steering wheel.
"Max, can you hear me?", I perceived Christian's voice.
The pain was almost unbearable. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted the pain to end. I wanted to sleep.
But not until she was with me. When she was there, everything would be okay. Then I could sleep.
"Lia?", I asked.
It was as if she was the only clear thought I could still grasp. She was all that was going through my mind now. How we had stood on the hotel roof yesterday.
We should have just eloped. We should have just done it.
"GET ME LIA!" that was Christian again.
"We're going to get Lia. She's right here." he assured me. I just nodded slowly "Max, can you hear me? Please talk to me.", Christian's voice sounded strained.
My head was buzzing louder and louder and I was finding it incredibly difficult to stay awake. I had to hold on at least until she was there.
I wanted to hear her voice, wanted her to tell me that everything was going to be okay.
*Lia
"They'll have you in a minute, Mick.", I assured him as my fingers drummed around on the table more and more nervously.
I felt like I was going to throw up.
Completely out of breath, an engineer from Red Bull came to a stop at our command post.
"We need you on our radio," his eyes fixed on me "Max hasn't said anything except your name. He seems to keep losing consciousness. We need to keep him awake. Please.".
A cold shiver ran down my spine. I looked to Seb, who immediately nodded. Mick was just being lifted out of his car. He could certainly do without me now.
So I put down my headset and followed the engineer up the pit lane to the Red Bull command post. I was handed a headset and put in the seat next to Christian, while behind us the other cars were already coming into the pit lane.
"He hasn't said anything for a while now," Christian informed me "The only thing he said at all was your name. Please, at least try... just try to talk to him.".
I nodded and pressed the radio button "Max? Max can you hear me? It's Lia.".
I let go of the button and got no response.
"Max? Come on. Please answer me.", my voice was still calm, even though pure panic was raging inside me.
I pleaded for him to answer me "Max, can you hear me? It's Lia. I'm sitting at the Red Bull command post. Everyone here is worried. Come on. Give us a sign.".
Nothing.
I could see it was going to take the marshals a while to get to him. They had to get Mick's car out of there somehow first.
"Maxie, please.", now I couldn't manage to make my voice sound calm.
The fear was too much.
"Lia.", I breathed a sigh of relief when I could hear his voice.
"Yes. Hey, hi. I'm here. Can you hear me?"
"Yes. I hear you.", his voice sounded strange.
"Are you ok?", of course he wasn't, but I didn't know what to ask.
"Now yes.", he took a deep breath "I love you.".
Immediately my blood froze in my veins. That was the last thing I had wanted to hear right now and I couldn't even put my finger on why. But it had somehow sounded like a goodbye.
"Maxie, I need you to stay awake now, okay?"
"I love you Lia."
"Please, I love you too Maxie, but I need you to stay awake now. Can you do that for me?"
"And if this is my last waking moment, at least you're my last thought," his voice sounded so thin all at once.
"Please don't say that," I started shaking all over.
"Say it again. Please.", he whispered.
"Say what?", I asked. He just needed to stay awake until the marshals got him out of there and he could be treated.
"Maxie. Say Maxie again, please.", I could hear how frazzled he sounded.
"I...", it felt so wrong. It scared me. I didn't want to say it, because the fear that he wouldn't answer me then was way too big.
"Please, Lia, please."
"I love you, Maxie.".
*Max*
Why did everything hurt so terribly? Couldn't the pain just come to an end?
If I let go now...
If I just let myself fall now....
Then at least her words would be the last ones I heard. She would be my last thought.
"Lia?" the last word on my lips.
I was far too wiped out to say anything more.
"Yes? I'm here Maxie.", she was there. She would be there until it was over. She wouldn't leave.
I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and how grateful I was that she had come into my life. I wanted to thank her for the last few weeks, even though it hadn't been easy, they had been the best weeks of my life.
I had probably never felt so loved. And I certainly had never loved like this before. There were so many things I wanted to say to her.
A thousand things.
But the more I tried, the more the words seemed to disappear from my mind. I tried to hold on to them, but I couldn't. There were no more words.
"Maxie? Talk to me. Please.", her voice sounded scared.
I wanted to hold her, to take away her fear, until I realized that she was afraid for me because I wasn't answering her anymore.
My lips were tight. I could barely manage a croak.
"Maxie... Don't leave me alone.", I could hear that she was crying.
"Maxie. Come on. The marshals will be with you in a minute and then you'll be taken to a hospital. I'll be there as soon as I can and then everything will be okay. Everything is going to be okay, you hear me? Just please stay here with me now."
I could at least try. I wanted to stay with her, but I was so incredibly tired.
"Stay with me Maxie.".
I moaned as the car jerked. An infinite pain shot through my body.
I could feel myself going black, my last thought was Lia and how much I wanted to be with her right now. Resting my head on her body. Hugging her as tight as possible. Kissing her just one more time. I just couldn't manage to stay awake.
*Lia*
I heard him moan in pain as the marshals moved his car.
"Maxie?", there was dead silence at the Red Bull command post. Actually, the entire pit lane was as quiet as it had ever been.
Many had gathered behind the Red Bull command post. They were all just looking up at us, waiting for any news.
"Maxie, come on," I whispered.
God I couldn't stand it. My whole body was rebelling and I felt more and more like I was going to throw up when they finally got him out of his car.
Christian was still sitting next to me and was now reaching for my hand. He seemed to do it quite unconsciously. His concern for Max was clearly written on his face.
At that moment, everything was at a standstill and no matter how much competition there was for any titles, everyone was just waiting to finally hear something hopefully positive.
He started squeezing my hand when we finally heard one of the marshals on the radio.
"We barely have a pulse and breathing. We need to get to the hospital right away."
"Is he going to make it?" asked Christian.
Now I returned the pressure of his hand as my heart contracted violently.
Please. Please.
Please Maxie don't leave me alone.