Run the world

when a heart breaks

*Lia*

"When are the boys coming?" asked Selina, I glanced at my phone.

"Pierre is on his way and I think Charles is with him.", I said and read the next message "Max is already at the club if I understand the message correctly.", I frowned a little.

"Perfect.", Selina smiled and pulled the neckline of her dress a little lower.

I didn't really know her any other way. Selina had always been like this. Free-spirited, loose, flirty. She was the one of my friends who always said the most openly what she thought and actually had always been able to have all the men. She was the popular one, clearly.

But I only paid half my attention to her, because Max's message made me a little suspicious. Either he was already very drunk or I was.

I didn't really understand his message. He had written something about the club. The rest of the words were more like a jumble of letters. I was seriously worried about him.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom for a minute," I mumbled, having decided to at least give him a quick call. I just wanted to make sure he was okay, because after our post-podium conversation, I wasn't so sure he was.

I scurried into the bathroom, closed the door behind me, and clicked on his contact. I waited for the beep. I waited what felt like an eternity, biting my lower lip nervously.

There was definitely more. I liked Max. More than I wanted to admit.

"Who is this?", I winced as I could hear the voice on the other end of the line.

It was clearly not Max and even more clearly a female voice "Ehm, hi. It's Lia. I just wanted to talk to Max for a minute..."

"He doesn't have time, sweetie. He's really busy with me right now. Maybe you'll try tomorrow.", she started giggling "Max! Not there!" then the call suddenly ended.

I just stood in my bathroom, took the phone off my ear and stared at the screen.

Why did it feel like that? Why was my stomach turning like that? And why couldn't I control the tears that welled up in my eyes?

Like I was seriously expecting something different. As if I had really expected things to be different.

Why had I given in to this idea that he... that anyone could be seriously interested in me in the first place?

When had I become so arrogant?

I looked in the mirror and finally could no longer hold back the tears.

I had chosen a rather revealing dress for tonight. I had felt beautiful in it.

But now I saw myself in the mirror and realized that I was only lying to myself.

I was not beautiful.

This dress emphasized everything I hated about myself. Every insecurity. Every piece that had led to me being bullied in the past.

I swallowed and tried not to cry out loud. My friends were sitting just a wall away and the walls in this hotel were thin as shit. I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from making a noise. I didn't want them to overhear what was going on inside me right now. I just wanted to get out of here, even though I knew there was no way out.

I could hear knocking on the door of the room.

That had to be Pierre and Charles "Come in boys." that was Selina "Come on through, Lia is still short for little girls." she said.

I heard more than two people come in, but they all went right through.

If I was just smart enough about it, I could grab a pair of shoes on the way out and disappear until they all moved on toward the club. Surely they wouldn't wait for me at some point.