A/N The top thing part where I usually put up a picture isn't working. So I guess it'll go here until it starts working again.
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"Are you sure you're comfortable there?" I ask, finding myself a cushion to hold onto as I made myself comfortable on the sofa. Yoongi decided to sit on the ground for some reason, insisting it was better that sinking into a sofa of cushions. We both decided to take a break from researching and watch a movie, and relax.
"I'm sure." Yoongi replied, looking up to me and giving me a smile. "Now, hurry up and choose a film!"
"I don't know what to choose." I giggle, flicking through a couple films, none peaking my interest. "You choose."
"As if I'll be any better." Yoongi replied, taking the controller from me once he noticed I was handing it out to him. Maybe he'll be better at this. I watched him look through a few, then listened as he read through the summary and finally ended up saying no to most of them with the occasional 'maybe' every now and then.
"Your hair is a bit messy." I noted, quickly fixing the bits that were astray. I didn't even think much, if at all when I did it. I noticed his hair was unnaturally fluffy, far from what I would have ever thought.
Due to this, I couldn't help but mess around with it a little more. Though soon, I noticed what I was doing. Yoongi slightly leaned back further against the sofa in front of me, making me instantly retracted my hands. I could feel my face heat up from the embarrassment of it. What was I doing?
"No, don't...." He said softly, taking my wrist and putting my hand back on his hair. "It's....soothing."
So I just played with his hair for a while. How I suddenly felt less embarrassed about it, I don't know and I didn't stop to think about it either. I brushed his hair to the side and put it into different styles. I was so focused on that, that I hadn't noticed Yoongi spoke up until he turned around to face me, making me stop making my new masterpiece of a hairstyle.
"How about Iron Man, then?" Yoongi suggested, making my focus now go back to the TV. I simply shook my head.
"I watched it recently." I replied, shrugging my shoulders. He sighed loudly and dramatically at this. Obviously, I couldn't help but giggle at his reaction. "Sorry...."
"How recent?" He asked, looking back up at me. I looked away for a moment, thinking about when it was that I watched it last. It was with my sister, I'm pretty sure.
"A couple months ago." I replied, recalling the moment. That's when Yoongi fully turned around, wearing a confused expression. He sat up to be at my level, touching my forehead with the back of his hand. I swat it away, and he just shakes his head.
"That's what you call recent?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at my response. I nod my head. "How is that recent?"
"It's just still too soon to watch it, still too fresh in my mind." I insist, shrugging my shoulders again. "What about Ant-Man? I haven't seen that in a while...."
"And what's a while for you?" He mutters, moving to sit beside me instead of back on the floor. "Two years?"
"Ha ha, very funny." I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes at his joke.
"Oh, I know." He states, wearing a small mischievous smile as I look up at him. "But Ant-Man it is."
With that, a movie is finally put on. It took a while, but we got there. It was mostly my fault it took so long, I can admit that much. You'd think after being so picky about the movie, my full attention would be on it. But it wasn't. My mind went back to the phone call with my sister.
For the past hour or so it was out of my mind, thanks to Yoongi. But now I can't help but start to zone out and think about it again. However, it doesn't take long for me to be brought back out when I could no longer hear the background noise of the TV, and once Yoongi nudged my arm lightly to bring me back.
"It was my sister on the phone...before." I began, speaking my thoughts out loud. "Y'know, that time when she called and you were there. The day I went to the hospital to see my mother. Same sister....I only have one. I only have her."
"Yeah, I remember. Jiyeon, wasn't it?" He asks, after taking a second to think. I nodded. "I'm guessing you two are close?"
"Oh yeah, always have been." I reply, letting the conversation continue. I feel like I need to talk a little, rather than sit in silence in front of a screen. "She practically raised me."
"So she's the older of you two?" Yoongi asks, adjusting his sitting position to face me more directly.
"Yup. By a couple years." I replied, smiling when thinking back to certain moments we shared, missing her now more than ever. "But even with those years between us, we're still quite similar and we get along so well. What about you, any siblings?"
"Yup, an older brother." He chuckles to himself as he thought about him. "We're not as close as we used to be, but whenever we get together, it's like we never left each other's side."
"I get that." I agreed, relating to that feeling. "It's actually been quite difficult recently for me. You see, my sister and I haven't spent such a long time apart before. So these past few months have been torture....not having her around. Do you ever get that?"
"Honestly, no." Yoongi admitted, looking to the ground. "My brother and I, while close enough, lead completely separate lives and always have. It feels normal to not have him around. That's just they way we are, our relationship."
"I guess it might be a little different for us." I laugh, trying to ease up the atmosphere a little, the one I created. "Up until this year, I haven't had to live so far away from Jiyeon. I was always able to rely on her and go to her when something was up. She didn't live far, just around the corner really. But I just feel so distant from her now that she's moved in with our mother."
"Is your mother what makes you feel distant to your sister?" Yoongi asked. I didn't need time to think about this one and nodded immediately. "Can I ask why?"
"I just have a bit of a rocky relationship with her." I began with a loud sigh. "My childhood wasn't exactly a walk in the park. My mother, she was a very distant, very absent mother after my dad died. She stopped trying and because I was so young, it was hard for me to understand her as much as I do now. I think I just....I still hold a lot of resentment towards her for it."
"You don't want to resolve anything with your mother and you feel like you might have to, now that your sister is more involved in her life." Yoongi wonders aloud. "Is that it?"
"Bingo." I laugh, with a slightly bitter tone. "You'd think that after years of growing up with a parent who was so unresponsive and distant, I'd be used to it and eventually accept it and move on."
"You haven't though." Yoongi stated. I shook my head no and then the silence came for a bit. I started fidgeting with my hands, keeping quiet when I saw Yoongi seemed to be thinking to himself. "I don't want to pry but....what was your mother like, exactly?"
"As a child, my mother was.... lifeless, you could say. She seemed like she had no life in her and because of this, she seemed rather uninterested in what was going on around her. Though physically she was always there, I still felt as though she were absent in my day-to-day life." I began to rant, feeling a few tears prickle at my eyes. But I wouldn't cry over this, not anymore. I cried over her enough in my life. "She stopped caring about me, eventually gave up completely in terms of looking after me as her daughter. So naturally, my sister began to fill that role."
"This was after your father....passed on?" Yoongi asked with a quieter, more gentle tone of voice. I nodded my head lightly, yet again. "Do you think your mother might have been depressed? I mean, she did just lose her husband and not to mention, her soulmate...."
"Maybe." I mumbled, but quickly dismissed the thought, knowing there was something more to it than that. "You see, my father unfortunately died in a car accident. She hadn't witnessed it, but the days before we found out, that's when my mother slowly began to leave us. It was gradual, like she knew before it would happen. It shouldn't happen like that."
"I'm sorry about your dad." He paused, clearly thinking about whether to talk about him or go back to talking about my mother. "Were you two close?"
"Honestly, I don't really remember." I admit, giving Yoongi a sad smile. "Sure, there were a few good memories. I just remember him working most of the time, which always left my mother in an awful state. Just before his accident actually, he had been gone for almost a week, so mum was already a bit weak and out of it. Then after he died....well, it only got worse."
"So your mother's condition....she's like that because she lost her soulmate." Yoongi said, to which I shook my head. He furrowed his eyebrows, clearly confused by this. "Is it not?"
"That's the thing that stumps me." I started. "She knew exactly when my father died, she could feel it. I was there to see her experience and reaction. It looked very sudden. When a soulmate dies, the other isn't supposed to get an indicator. If anything, the symptoms are supposed to naturally fade away, they're supposed to feel like how they used to prior to bonding."
"So what...?" Yoongi queried, his voice low."You think it's something more?"
"It has to be." I answered. "I'm just not sure what."
"Have you asked her about-
"Oh, I've asked." I interrupted, knowing what he was going to ask. "I've spent half my life asking. She insists she has no idea what nonsense I'm talking about and changes the conversation to suit herself."
The room went silent for a little while, both of us clearly going over everything that was said. I don't know why I decided to start telling him all this. I guess I'm just really starting to trust him.
Maybe it's because we're soulmates and so this feeling becomes natural overtime. But maybe it's because he has been nothing but understand and accommodating throughout this entire journey. Like earlier today, he seemed so gentle with me. How could I not trust him after that?
"Will I ever meet her, your mother?" Yoongi suddenly asked, finally breaking the silence between us.
"She doesn't exactly want to meet you...." I replied honestly. "It's not personal, please don't feel that it is. She has just never wanted me to get a soulmate. Not just me, my sister either. If there was anything she ever cared about throughout my life, it was this, only ever this."
"Maybe because-
"Yeah, yeah." I cut him off again. "I know it's probably because she doesn't want my sister and I to end up the way she did. But growing up, that's all she ever cared about. Whenever she decided all of a sudden to actually care about her children's lives, it was always about this. I would've preferred her obsessing over marks, or how I should stay away from boys until I'm 50."
"But there's no way to prevent finding your soulmate though. It just happens, it's not something you can control." Yoongi thought aloud, a little frustration evident in his voice.
"And yet, she still expected us to." I shrugged, keeping it light, sensing his shift in mood. "You okay?"
"Me? Yeah, of course." Yoongi replied, shaking his head a little before giving me a small smile. "You?"
"Yeah." I replied, returning the smile. "I'd say it's about time we finally watch the movie...."
"I agree." Yoongi chuckled, picking up the remote to turn the movie back on. Then as the opening credits came on, I felt Yoongi entwine his fingers with mine. I looked up to him, expecting something of an expression but he remained still in front of the TV. The light blush across his face now being the only difference in appearance from before.
"Hey Yoongi...." I whispered. He turned to look back at me, humming in response. I held on tighter to his hand. "Thank you."
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A/N I apologise for taking so long to get this chapter out. I meant for it to be uploaded a week or two back, but then life happened.
Also, a big thank you to everyone reading and supporting my work! We hit 40K reads~ 💜💜
Have a lovely day/night and stay safe !!