17 : 37 pm
Anastasia's pov:
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"Anastasia? I can't-", she kicked the doorframe and groaned. "Mama! Do not attempt this on your own-", I giggle , leading her to the backyard in a blindfold. "I had warned you kids not to do anything extravagant-", she whispered and I go yeah yeah.
"Watch your step", I help her out successfully. My eyes shifting to papa and Rupert who flicked up their thumbs. A few of mama's book club friends were here too. Reece and theo stood side by side, smiling . "Ready mama?", I whisper into her ear and she nod eagerly. Once I undo the blindfold - everyone cheered happy birthday!
"Oh my -", her eyes pooling with tears whilst admiring the beautiful job they had all pulled off.
"I - it's perfect ", she hid herself in my arms and I laugh at how shy she had gotten. "Mama-", I escort her to the table where Rupert hugged her tightly. My eyes shift to papa who was clapping his hands. Theo and Reece were laughing? About what? I'm sure mama's friends believed they were friends because that's exactly how it looked.
"Theo", mama yelled at him. "I'm sorry - I had no choice. It had to be excellent ", he hugged her. Mama was so little . Geez - I had inherited her height. "And you ! -", She reached up, grabbing Reece's ear. "Ou-", he yelped. "Where were you? Could you not atleast call me? ", she playfully smacked his cheek before hugging him. His eyes find mine and I wave. Theo rushed over to where I stood. "Hey pretty lady", he kissed my cheek. "Hi . This looks better than we planned ", I high 5 him. "Had extra help" , he looked at Reece who was speaking with papa, while mama greeted her friends.
"You two seem to be getting along", I glance up at him and he smirked , "Baby , I was his fake girl for 5 seconds ".
"What?", my eyes grow wide as he laughed.
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We had all settled after formalities. The food was heaven. I couldn't stop stuffing my cheeks with the garlic bread. "Slow down honey-", theo nudged me . "I'm starving ", I cover my mouth and chuckle. Mama and her friends were busy being photographed underneath the massive tree which she contemplated on chopping down many times. "Food is amazing-", Rupert licked his fingers. My gaze bounced to Reece who was watching mama. "Did you get her the bag she's been wanting?", bunny whispered and I pry my eyes from Reece. "Yes I did", I smile proudly and he leaned in , kissing my forehead.
"I hadn't gotten her a gift yet. What do old folks like?", he pout and I laugh. "Bunny you've done more than enough for her", I gesture to the party. "This isn't enough. She deserves way more", he smiled at mama. Just like I mentioned- mama may have sinned to get to this place of happiness. But - she was happy and thats all that mattered. Holding a grudge against her was something I could never do. I loved her with all my heart and soul. That's my mama. I was proud to be hers.
"Anastasia! Come take a snap-", she called out and I was quick to get onto my feet and run across the lawn to where she stood. Papa lift the camera , asking us to get closer. "Cheese!", we both grin and the flash almost blinded me. I give mama a kiss before shifting my gaze to the table. Both theo and Reece were staring at me with smiles on their faces. I simply smile back.
"Take another!", mama shout at papa as he was struggling to get the camera to shoot another picture. "Hurry up -", she yelled and I couldn't hold in my laughter when Rupert came running to help papa. "Both your men", I tease and she clicked her tongue. "Well - you have two men gawking ", she countered and I roll my eyes. "I hope you know what you're doing Kid. Be sure bunny is okay with Reecey staying for the week-", she whispered while they fixed the camera. "Mama- I had asked several times. Besides I think they're getting along. That's kinda creepy", I glance at them having a conversation.
"Love has a strange way of showing up when you need it the most ,baby", she smiled up at me and I smile back. "Theo confessed to loving me-", I nudge her but she shook her head. "I wasn't speaking about theo". My smile fades as she rushed to sort the issue between papa , Rupert and the camera. My eyes settle on Reece who had shifted seats to sit beside theo. They were laughing again. His eyes bounce to me and he held a smile but kept nodding at what bunny what saying.
Love?
I didn't love Reece.
Like I said - the girl before the brain surgery loved him. The girl after was completely new.
Yet - he loved me still.
"Mama-".
The familiar voice made us all snap our heads to Abby who had showed up. Mama literally dropped the camera. My eyes widen and so did papa's. Shifting my gaze to mama- her chest heaving and eyes bawling as she ran to Abby without hesitation. "Baby-", she cried out, pulling her into an embrace. My eyes pooled with tears as papa draped an arm around me and we smiled happily.
"Mama- I'm sorry", she continued to apologize and mama hushed her. "It's okay baby. You're here . You came-", she held her at arms length, admiring how beautiful she had grown in these 5 years. "I missed you so much ", mama sobbed. "I missed you all -", Abby shift her eyes to papa and I. "Papa-" , she left mama's side , running into our fathers arms. "Papa- I'm sorry", she whispered and he kissed her forehead. "My baby", he rocked her as i stroked her head. "Ana -", she pulled me into their embrace. Mama joined us - all happily united again.
"Best birthday-", mama sniffled.
"Actually-", Abby broke the hug and rushed back into the house. We all shrug at each other until she came out holding a little wrapped blanket. "Meet Isabel-", she lowered the blanket, revealing the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Mama cried even more, leaning onto papa's shoulder as he began to sob. My eyes shift to Reece, who had a soft smile on his face.
My brows slouch and so did his once he noticed I was staring at him. This was the reason for our divorce. No babies. No little us. I tried not to be rude but I had to desperately excuse myself. Mama called out but I rushed into the house. The tears gushed down my flustered cheeks as I entered the bathroom, slamming the door shut and weeping into my palms.
I was not envious of my sister. Never.
I was just miserable. The pain which I stored away had resurfaced. All that bottled up emotions pouring out all at once. My chest felt tight. The lump returned to my throat. I sat down on the toilet lid - crying into my hands.
"Anastasia? Baby-", theo knocked .
"Are you okay? Can I come in?", he asked for permission. "No-", I croak. "I want to be alone", I was not pushing him away. I just needed space. "I'll be here if you need me baby-", he sounded concerned but left me alone. I loved that he was understanding. Why was I being punished? Was it because I never attended church? Prayed? Maybe if I were religious, god wouldn't be punishing me this much.
I grip the material of my dress clinging around my stomach. I was young to be pregnant but I always wanted a child some day. Small hands and feet that belonged to me. Soft butterfly kisses.
"Anastasia?", Reece's voice made me sob harder. I could hear myself hiccupping. "Baby-", he never hesitated to push open the door. His eyes settling on me. "Reece", I whisper. "It's okay", he shut the door , crouching infront of me. "Hey- " , he reached up , wiping my wet cheeks. "I'm not jealous, I promise-", I couldn't stop weeping. His eyes held so much emotion. "I know baby. I know-", he pulled me closer , my head resting on his shoulder as he hugged me. "It's okay to feel this way. It's called being human-", he stroked my back and I cling to him. Arms wrapping around his neck.
"I don't know what to do-", I press my nose into his leather jacket. "We'll figure it out. I'm here", he whispered, tightening his arms around me. "I just -", I push myself out of his hold . "I thought I had life figured out. Moving away from everything. I ran away from my problems instead of facing them-", I vent while he stared at my face. "I ran away-", I trail off . "I'm so stupid ", I place my hand over my face. "You're not stupid", he tugged on my wrist. "You're young baby. You've faced so much . It's okay to be tired. Life was a bitch to you. Don't ever feel as if you're going nowhere. You're destined for greatness-", he encouraged.
"But not motherhood-", I whisper and he went silent. He had no response to that. I wouldn't expect him too. No one could save me from that pain.
"You'd make a great fucking mother", he whispered. "You'd make a great mother ", he repeat , cupping my face and placing his forehead against mine.
"Mother or not. You're fucking great".