XXI. violet bruises
The only thing Mia smelled was blood. It lingered in her nose and stained her skin. It was a foul smell. Her hands were red, a constant reminder of the sins she created for herself. A blazing fire erupted inside her. A fire of rage that she felt for the world turning into a bloodbath. At the same time, she was fearful. Nobody ever told her that grief felt so much life fear. The sensation of fire related to being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness; Mia kept on swallowing the grief with a dry throat like a pill with no water.
Grief is a world of its own and Mia was a new immigrant inside it.
"Thought maybe there'd be some house this way," Michonne exhaled deeply. "Maybe even a store. There's got to be some food around here somewhere."
Mia forgot about the hunger she was feeling and it was replaced by rot.
"Hey, look." Carl spoke when he spotted something.
They looked ahead and saw an abandoned vehicle just a few feet away. The front was busted and the window was cracked with lines spiraling like a spider web. As she got closer to it, the more the fear bubbled inside her. She slowly walked around it with the knife clutched in her hand. Rick and Carl looked through it to make sure there were no walkers.
It was empty. Mia looked up and caught Carl's eye.
That night when the sky grew pitch black, Mia laid in the backseat of the car. Carl was in the passenger seat. They tried to sleep but she couldn't bring herself to close her eyes. No matter how tired she was, she couldn't sleep. As she stared into the darkness of the car, she felt tears build up.
There was crash inside her. It started small and slowly started to build up. A tear slid down her dirty cheek. "Carl?"
It was silent at first. "Yeah?"
"Do you think about what your life would be like if the apocalypse didn't hit?" She asked with a crack in her voice. "Like do you think you would have met everyone like Michonne or Daryl?"
Carl pondered her question from the front seat. He couldn't sleep either. Mostly because he was afraid if he did that something would happen. His dad and Michonne sat by a fire a few feet away. "I think about it sometimes," he admitted. He did, truthfully. He thought about it a lot. "No. I don't think I would have."
Mia blinked a tear away again. "Do you think we would have ever met?"
Carl turned his head slightly. He couldn't see her but he could tell she was crying. Her voice was broken. She was hurting. "I don't know," he whispered. "I like to think that we would have at some point. Do you want the truth?"
"Yes."
Carl's eyes stared at the crack in the windshield. "I don't think I can imagine a life without you in it."
Mia turned her head in shock. She blinked again. "Really?"
"Yeah." he responded. He didn't know why he was confessing these things. Perhaps it was just in the moment. But it was true. "I know you think I didn't like you when you first came to the prison. Maybe a small part of me didn't. I was just so afraid of change. My whole life has changed. But then. . . I don't know. We talked and I learned more about you. You're just like me. You've seen things. Done things. I shouldn't judge you for that. You're so much more than just someone stuck in a tragic world. You helped me realize that about myself, too."
More tears fell down her face. She closed her eyes and sucked in a quiet breath. "I'm glad I came to the prison."
Carl smiled. "So am I."
A tap on the window is what caught their attention. Mia's sucked in a scared breath when she saw a man on the other side of the window. He was smirking at Carl, seemingly not seeing her in the backseat. He lifted up his knife. Mia slowly sat up. "Carl."
"Don't be afraid." He whispered but didn't take his eyes off the man.
That's when Mia heard another man's voice and she looked ahead of her to see a group of men pointing their guns at Rick and Michonne. One of them was counting down. She reached forward and put her hand on Carl's shoulder. He put his over hers and they squeezed each other's hands in fear.
"JOE!"
A rough voice stopped the countdown and Mia glanced out the other side of the window. It started with the crossbow, then to the familiar vest, and then her eyes stopped at his face and her eyes widened. "Daryl?" She said to herself.
It all happened so fast. Suddenly, Daryl was being thrown against the car and the men started to beat on him. Then, the man opened the car door and started pulling Carl out. That's when she snapped out of it. "No!"
She gripped onto his arm tightly and Carl tried holding onto her.
"Come here, boy!"
"Stop!" Mia shrieked with teary eyes, still holding onto the sleeve of his jacket.
The man eyed her and a sinister smirk appeared that have her the chills. "Ah, there's two of you."
She backed up and he opened the back door while keeping a firm grip on Carl. Mia let out a frightened noise when the grabbed her leg and pulled her out of the car. "No!" She screamed again.
"Come here !" He hissed and gripped the back of her neck.
"Leave them be!" Rick hollered when he saw the teenagers being dragged out of the car.
Mia felt one of the man tug on her and pull her into them. She shrieked once again and felt a cold metal being pressed to her head. She suddenly felt very dizzy and sick. It was all happening too fast.
The man wrapped one of his arms around her neck so she couldn't move. Mia was a small girl. She was a child. She had no power over him. He could easily kill her but Mia held onto his arm and tried to pry him away.
Carl was pushed to the ground by his capture. Mia thrashed around again. "No, leave him alone!" She cried out.
"Shut your mouth, girl!" The man holding onto her sneered in her ear and pressed the gun closer to her temple.
But she wouldn't give up. When the man got onto of Carl and the young boy tried figuring him away, a seeding anger ran through her and she stomped his foot. He yelled in pain. "Bitch!" He threw her to the ground.
Mia groaned when her face hit the gravel. She tried to get up and run but then she felt a heavy force grab and turn her over. "No!" She cried out and the man go on top of her and held her down. "Get off of me!"
Blood spilled in her mouth when he slapped her across the face. It stung terribly. Mia cried out again, completely terrified, when his heavy body pressure pressed against her again and she felt like he was crushing her. Then, she felt his hands circle her throat.
"Let them go!" Rick seethed when he watched his kids being tormented.
"Stop your squirming." The man taunted Carl but he looked over and saw the brown eyed girl being strangled.
"Let her go!" Carl cried out against him while thrashing. "Amelia!"
"Let them go." Rick huffed out again.
Mia stared into the evil man's eyes and fought against his grip. His large hands squeezed her throat. His nails press into her neck, squeezing the pressure point. He was laughing above her like it thrilled him to kill a child. Her vision started going in and out, becoming blurrier and blurrier by the second. Mia felt the oxygen in her begin to slip away. The L shaped necklace she was wearing jabbed into her skin.
A part of her wanted to die. She was always ready to die. In her head, Mia was screaming at him to end it so she could leave this God forsaken Earth. To be with her family. Her twin brother. To not be in pain anymore. Black dots started to cloud her vision and Mia could see the outlines of her family. She found herself reaching for them.
At the same time Carl reached for her as he struggled to get away. He watched in agonizing fear as she stopped fighting. The light was leaving her eyes. He cried out against the man and he cried for her. He flipped him over until his face was smashed against the ground. Again, he reached his arm out but she was too far away.
Mia let out a string of gurgled coughs when the hands evaporated from her neck. It hurt to even breathe. She heard muffled screams of pain. But she couldn't move. It was as if her body was glued to the ground.
"Mia." She heard her name being called. She didn't register that it was Daryl until he was in front of her eyes. They began to close. "Hey, Mia, don't close your eyes."
He leaned down and lifted her upper body. Mia felt hot tears stain her face but she didn't cry. She felt as if she had not tears left. She felt completely broken. Violet bruises marked her delicate throat along with blood that dripped from her mouth. She watched helplessly as Rick killed the men that tried to kill her and his son. The sound of the knife pained her more than the hands that violated her.
"You're okay, kid. You're going to be okay," Daryl muttered. "Just don't close your eyes."
She took Daryl's words a little too seriously. The morning sun came up and Mia's eyes remained open. She was afraid to sleep. She tried to close her eyes once but the dangerous man was hovering above her small body, his dirty hands around her throat, and then she screamed. She knew everyone was worried about her but Mia was completely numb to everything around her.
She touched the necklace she was wearing and held it in her hand. It was like the Earth was picking at the scabs that were trying to heal. Cuts that oozed out and scabbed over. Scabs that were starting to heal no matter how much they itched. They were trying to heal itself. The Earth was picking her apart left and right and preventing the healing from happening. She was a scab picked too many times. Mia wasn't sure if she would ever allow herself to heal.
Michonne watched the girl with worry from the backseat. Carl laid across her lap and he tried to sleep. His cheek was scraped with blood. She smoothed out his sweaty hair to soothe him yet she didn't utter a word the entire time. She looked between them with worry like a mother.
They moved on foot. Mia was silent. The violet bruises on her neck were on display. It was hard to avoid them. She looked completely exhausted. Mia tried to hide how she was feeling by not saying anything. But on the inside, she was slowly crumbling into nothing.
Carl walked beside her. She hadn't spoken a word since what happened. Neither did he. They were both wondering about each other but too scared to form words. "Mia?" He said quietly.
She glanced at him, her brown eyes dull, and his fell to her neck. There was a hollow feeling on his chest. "I'm fine." She whispered like she could hear his thoughts.
He frown on his face deepened. He reached for her hand and touched his skin to hers. When she flinched, Carl immediately pulled back, scared that he would hurt her. But then she grabbed it back and their fingers locked together. They understood each other. It's what kept them from falling off the deep end.
They stopped when they saw a blown over sign on the ground. Rick kicked the dirt with his foot and revealed the world Terminus. "We're getting close," said Daryl. "Be there before sundown."
"Now we heard through the woods. We don't know who they are."
Carl tugged on her hand and the group walked into the woods. The adults lead the way and Rick and Daryl raised their weapons, looking around for any sign of danger. Mia kept him close to her. She swallowed a lump in her throat and winced at the feeling.
Carl quickly looked at her. "Are you okay?"
She nodded slightly. "Yeah, it. . . it just hurts." She hesitated.
Again, his eyes shifted to the bruises. There was so many things he wanted to say but he couldn't manage to say them. He was afraid to say the wrong thing.
They got deeper into the woods when they came across a fence. From there, Mia saw what looked like a small town. When she got closer, she saw the word Terminus spelled out on the building. There was a small flicker of hope.
"We all spread out," Rick said. "Watch for a while, see what we see, and get ready. We all stay close."
Mia let go of Carl's hand and he looked at her, his eyebrows turning inward. She gave a small encouraging smile and went off with Daryl. She didn't know why she chose to go with him. She didn't think he particularly liked her. She just needed a break for s minute.
The pair walked around slowly. It was an awkward silence. Mia hadn't spent a lot of time with Daryl. He was a closed off person. But he saved her life. He gave her a third chance to live. "Why didn't you go with Carl?" He uttered.
Mia only shrugged.
Daryl glanced down at her. "You doing alright?" The bruises on her neck made him feel like he could kill something.
"Yeah." She lied under her breath.
He kept a firm grip on the crossbow. Mia looked up at him as he looked around them. "Why didn't you like me when Maggie found me?"
He looked taken back slightly. "I didn't not like you, kid. Just don't go around finding strangers very often." He grumbled.
"You brought Bob back."
He nodded. "Yeah, I did."
Daryl wasn't the easiest person to talk to. Mia found that out. From what everyone told her, he didn't open up much. She didn't blame him. She hardly knew him but she could see that his life wasn't the easiest.
On the inside, he was angry. He thought about how she could have died if he didn't get to her in time. She was just a kid. Barely weighed anything. That man was bigger than her. He was going to kill her. She would forever have to feel that pain of his hands on her. That kind of haunt sticks to her. Maybe he didn't have a chance to live a good life but she did. "You remind me of someone." He said under his breath.
Mia looked at him again. "Who?" She wondered.
He put down the crossbow. "This little girl I once knew. She was Carol's daughter. Her name was Sophia."
He referred to her in past tense. "What happened to her?"
"She went missing. I spent a long time looking for her. She got bit and turned," Daryl explained to her. It was simple sentences but the memory brought a great deal of pain. "She was a good kid. Quiet but sweet. She wasn't meant to live in a world like this. I don't know. . . When I saw you that day that was all I could think of. I wasn't sure if bringing you back with us was a good idea."
Her eyes turned sad.
"Then I saw that guy try to kill you. It looked like you were giving up. This world may have gone to shit but you deserve a chance to make the best of it," Daryl continued. He looked down at her. "Just didn't want to see another kid die."
He was a complicated man but Mia could see right through him. He had a heart. He cared for people. He just built these walls up so nobody could see how he really felt. Daryl Dixon was a broken man that too wanted to find a way out.
"You're a good person, Daryl Dixon."
They recollected back to the fence.
Mia stood by Carl's side and nudged his arm. "Are you okay?" She whispered.
He looked at her through his lashes. "I'm okay." He whispered back.
She sent him a soft smile.
"What?" He asked after seeing it.
"You called me Amelia."
Carl's red cheeks deepened in color. "Oh. Uh. . ." He stammered. "My bad."
She just laughed. One by one, they hopped over the fence. Mia took out her knife and clutched it in her hand. They ran around to the back of the building. Carefully, she entered the building. She could hear a woman talking.
"Those who arrive survive." The woman was saying into a radio. "Terminus. Sanctuary for all. Community for all—"
"Hello." Rick uttered.
Their presence startled the people in the room. "Well, I bet Albert is on perimeter watch," a man spoke. He walked up to the group of four. Mia stood closer Carl and her knuckles turned white from the grip she had on her weapon. "You here to rob us?"
"No." Rick answered. "We wanted to see you before you saw us."
The man grinned, feeling amused. "Makes sense. Usually we do this where the tracks meet. Welcome to Terminus. I'm Gareth." He examined them. "Looks like you've been in the road for a good bit."
The leader nodded. "We have. . . Rick." He introduced himself. "That's Carl, Mia, Daryl, and Michonne."
Gareth did a small wave. "You're nervous. I get it. We were all the same way." He walked closer to them. "We came here for sanctuary. That's what you're here for?"
"Yes."
"Good. You found it." He looked over his shoulder. "Hey, Alex. This isn't as pretty as the front. We got nothing to hide, but the welcome wagon is a whole lot nicer."
The man he called for approached them.
"Alex will take you, ask you a few questions. Uh, but first. . . we need to see everyone's weapons. If you could just lay them down in front of you."
Mia felt slightly suspicious of them. She glanced at everyone and Rick nodded at them. "All right."
"I'm sure you understand."
"Yes, I do."
She took out her knife and gun and out in front of her on the ground. She got s weird sense of emptiness not having her weapons on her. When she saw that they were going in for body examinations, Mia suddenly felt scared.
Carl saw the scared look on her face. "Mia, it's okay." He whispered.
The man, Alex, stood in front of her. "It's just a precaution." He told her, seeing her fear.
She looked to Rick. He gave her a nod. "It's alright, Mia." He spoke softly.
She looked back at the stranger and slowly lifted her arms. She held in a breath as he started patting her down. His eyes stopped on the bruises on the neck. "Goodness, look like you've been through some stuff."
Mia didn't respond. He patted down her legs and the girl tried not to seem afraid. She glanced over at Carl and he nodded, telling her with his eyes not to worry. She felt dirty under his hands. She felt violated. She swallowed again and felt the soreness of her throat.
"Did they deserve it?" Alex asked Carl after seeing his marked face.
"Yes." Carl answered with no hesitation.
"Just so you know, we aren't those kind of people, but we aren't stupid either," Gareth explained. "And you showing be stupid enough to try anyway stupid. As long as everyone's clear on that, we shouldn't have any problems. Just solutions."
Alex went around and picked up their weapons to give back to them. Daryl picked his crossbow up swiftly before he could touch it. He handed Mia her knife and weapon and she quickly took it, feeling the safeness come back. She glanced over at Carl again and he met her eye. Once again, he nodded to tell her it was okay.