Hanbin's POV
Three weeks has past.
I spent most of my days with Jennie, keeping her company and taking her to doctor's appointments for her ankle, and i could tell her getting more comfortable with my presence.
"Wait, let me help you" i said as i wrapped my arm around her waist and held her arm to give her support.
"I can do it, Hanbin. It doesn't hurt anymore." she said smiling. "I'm a big girl now"
I nodded and let go of her. "Alright, but don't force it, the doctor said-"
"I know, i know." she cut me off.
Jennie's ankle finally healed, so i decided to take her out for a date. This was my chance to show her i changed and i don't wanna blow it.
I opened the car's door for her. "Well, thank you prince charming" she joked, but gladly entered.
I ran to my side and entered the car. "I got you these, by the way." i said reaching from the backseat the bouquet i bought.
"Oh, Hanbin. They're beautiful, you didn't have to!" she complained.
I smiled. "This is our first date after all. I want to make it special."
"Thank you." she simply said.
I nodded and started the car, then drove off.
The drive was peaceful, too peaceful i may add, my focus was on the road but i could notice Jennie spacing out. I cleared my throat. "Penny for your thoughts?"
"Huh?" she shook her head.
"What are you thinking? You seem silent." i pointed out.
She faked a smile and looked out of the window. "It's nothing, i'm just tired" she poorly lied, fidgeting with her ring. A ring i hadn't bought her.
"I never noticed that ring" i said. "Who gave it to you?" i asked.
"Oh... um, i- bought it. uh- in.. in Paris. Yeah." she lied again. I mean, it'd be a good lie, but i knew better, she doesn't wear rings that much nor buys them. God, she sucks at lying. Lisa must of bought it.
I hummed avoiding the topic, seeing her uncomfortable and continued driving.
—————
"A park?" the singer furrowed her brow.
I nodded happily. "Yeah. Remember, we used to go on a bike date?"
"Oh!" her mouth went agape. "Yeah, i almost forgot" she giggled.
Almost forgot, huh? Ugh, Hanbin! Keep your composure. You can do this, we're here to remind her.
I faked a laugh. "Anyway, let's go rent a bike" she nodded and walked to the shop.
As we walked, i gathered my courage and tried reaching for her hand, but as soon as our skin touched, she flinched. So, i just put my hands in my pocket.
"Oh, Jennie and Hanbin!" the owner greeted happily. "Long time no see. I heard the news, congratulations!" he said.
The brunette and i bowed. "Thank you, mr. Park!"
"Mr. Park, could we rent a bike?" i asked and the old man nodded.
"Actually, could we get two bikes?" Jennie butted in.
Two bikes?
I looked at her weirdly. "Why two? You can't ride a bike, hon." i said.
"I learned" she smiled. "I told you, i'm a big girl now, Hanbin" she laughed.
I faked a laugh as i rubbed my nape.
"Here you go, two bikes." mr. Park said and gave us the bikes. "By the way, Jennie. Where's your friend? the woman you brought with you last time."
I furrowed my brow at his question. Her friend? It can't be Lisa. Yeah, Hanbin. Don't overthink it, it must be Chaeyoung.
"Oh, uh... she left." Jennie simply replied. Her features turning into sad ones.
So it is Lisa...
No, no, no. Keep your shit together, Hanbin!
"We better get going. Bye, mr. Park. It was nice seeing you again!" i said and exit the shop.
"Are you sure you can ride it?" i made sure, her ankle was still fragile and if she gets hurts, it'll get worse. "You can sit behind me, like we used to do" i suggested but she was persistent.
"Don't worry, Hanbin. Lisa helped- Let's just go." she stopped mid sentence and just smiled. She hopped on and started riding it, leaving me behind.
Seeing her going by herself made me develop some kind of feeling inside of me, i was scared. As if it was her telling me goodbye.
"What are you waiting for?!" she shouted from afar.
I shook away my thoughts and started following her. "Wait for me!"
Get yourself together. This is your chance to get her back, Hanbin, for fuck's sake.
I caught up with her and continued biking beside each other through the streets for a good hour.
"Hey, are you hungry yet? We should go to that cafe we always go to." i suggested. "The couple cafe" i added.
She thought about it first. "Actually, i was thinking for ice cream."
"Oh... are you sure? I mean, we used to go at the cafe before after cycling." i insisted.
She shook her head. "Well, yeah. But they only serve sweets and that's unhealthy... i'm on a strict diet anyway." she explained.
I was disappointed, but i smiled the feeling away. "Um, sure."
"There's a place Lisa and i-" she started but immediately stopped mid sentence as she realized what she just said. "I mean, there's a place around the corner"
My grip on the bike got tighter, but again, i just smiled and said. "Sure, you lead the way."
Breath, Hanbin.
—————
"Ms. Jennie!" the worker at the ice cream shop bowed with a huge smile. "How are you?"
"Hi, Chul!" Jennie greeted. "I'm alright, you?" she smiled widely. Something i haven't received in these past weeks. A simple smile.
The girl smiled back. "I'm great! Oh, isn't ms. Lisa with you?"
What a great observation, ms! I am here though, thank you for noticing my presence.
"Um... actually, she's- uh, she'll be gone for a while, not sure if she'll be back" the singer sadly said.
"I'm sure she will" Chul encouraged her. "Anyway, the usual milk ice cream?"
Jennie nodded. "Thank you, Chul."
The worker prepared her ice cream, then gave it to the super star. "Here you go... How about you, mr. Hanbin?"
Oh, well, at least she knows my name.
"I'll get a mint chocolate" i answered. She nodded and prepared mine as well.
"Is that all?" she asked and we both nodded. "That'll be 150 won each" she stated.
I grabbed my wallet to pay for the both of us, but when i was about to hand the worker the money, Jennie had already gave her. "I'll pay for it, don't worry. It's my treat." i said.
"No, it's fine. I can pay for mine." she retorted.
I cleared my throat. "No, i insist"
"Really, Hanbin. I'll pay for mine." she replied.
I was defeated. I'd always treat Jennie before and she wouldn't fight with me, but now she is and honestly, i hate it.
"Here, Chul. Take it." she said and the woman gladly took it.
I sighed and just paid mine.
—————
Jennie and i decided to go for a walk instead, eating our ice cream in silence, which made me uncomfortable because Jennie usually talks and tells me about her day, while i 'listened' — who am i lying? I wouldn't even listen to her, i'd get so annoyed at her because she'd always talk and i wanted silence, but now that i have it, it makes me uncomfortable. Who knew i'd regret this in the future.
"Oh my god, look Lili-" Jennie placed her bike on the ground and rushed near the shore then happily pointed at the sunset, but immediately corrected herself when she noticed. "Hanbin, sorry" she gave me an apologetic smile.
I forced a smile back. "It's fine, don't worry" i placed my bike next to her, walked behind her and stared at the sunset with her.
I never stared at sunsets before, never found them amusing, but there was something about it tonight that made it painfully beautiful.
"It's beautiful..." i mumbled loud enough so she could hear it.
She smiled. That smile could beat any other sunset, i'd rather stare at her smile than any sunset everyday.
I gathered all of my courage and took a step closer, and reached for the brunette's hands, who immediately took a step back when she felt my skin on hers. "Hanbin... Sorry, i- i'm not ready" she said looking down.
I smiled bitterly. "I understand." i said and looked back at the sunset.
"I really don't stand a chance, right?" i asked.
She looked at me clueless. "Huh?"
I forced a smile and looked at her. "It's still her, right? It's still Lisa" i said and she sighed. "You think i haven't noticed, these past weeks, how you'd call me by her name accidentally or how you look at me, or how you cry at night? I noticed it all, Jen."
"Hanbin..." she started but i cut her off.
"Before Lisa left, we talked. She's an amazing woman, i saw why you fell for her that night and i can't even get mad at her. She's a great person." i confessed. "She gave me a chance to work things with you and promised her to make you happy... but i'm afraid i'll have to break that promise."
I looked at Jennie and saw her with tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Hanbin."
"Don't be, hon." i shook my head and cupped her face to look at me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything." i sobbed. "I'm happy that you gave me a chance and that i tried, but i can't force you..." i said and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you for everything, for making me the best man i could ever be. It's my time to repay you... I'm finally letting you go" i said and let her go.
I wiped my tears away and grabbed the bike from the ground and walked away from her.
One thing i learned from Lisa: it's the art of letting go; because letting someone go, is the biggest form of love, you can give someone and to yourself.
I hate myself for realizing my love for Jennie, but she doesn't deserve to suffer for eternity because of my mistakes.
I love her, so i'm letting her go.