Chapter Thirteen: V Day Part 2
As I was walking out of the coffee shop, I got a text.
The Cool One: Hey, I got you a Valentine's present. It's in our bedroom on your table. Make sure you open it before I pick you up.
The Nice One: Okay. I'm sorry. I don't have anything to give you.
The Cool One: Yes you do, Jimmy. I'm looking forward to opening it.
Laughing at how cheesy this was, I stopped into the campus gift shop and bought long stemmed roses, even though I knew it was lame. I was eager and kind of freaked out all at the same time.
I knew it would be a Valentine's Day I'd never forget.
===
When I got home, Sammy was still asleep in his room. I peeked in to see if he was okay. I put a glass of water by his bed and the medicine bottle. I smoothed his bangs out of his face and he smiled in his sleep.
In my room, there was a small cube shaped package wrapped in shiny red paper with a bow.
I slowly opened it, wondering how I was supposed to feel.
It was a douche.
And a bottle of carrot cake flavored lube.
===
After a very strange and extremely uncomfortable half hour in the bathroom, which needed a few incognito mode assisted tutorial videos to accomplish, I was ready.
Showered, clean, with a decent splash of my favorite cologne. I brushed my teeth again and again. In my room, I put on my black jeans, belt, and a tight black shirt. Nice white sneakers. My hair was as good as I could get it. Gargled. Put the lube in my pocket.
The Cool One: I'm in the parking lot. You ready?
The Nice One: Be there in a second.
I grabbed the roses and stepped out of my bedroom.
Face to face with Sammy.
Well almost face to face. He came up to about my adam's apple.
"Oh. You look....so good, Jimmy." I know I really did because he was blushing deep red. "Where are you going?"
"Out....ummmm... with Jeremy. We might not..ummm... be back later tonight. I don't really know." I couldn't look at him, so I looked at my shoes. One of them was untied.
Sammy saw what I was looking at, smiled sadly at me, and bent down to tie it.
I watched him, my blood going cold.
He stood up.
"You feeling okay?" I could barely breathe for some reason.
"Yeah. Better. Have fun, Jimmy. Thanks again for taking care of me this morning."
He went slowly back into his room.
And I went out the front door, my feelings and thoughts jangled and painful.
=
I was even more confused when I got in Jeremy's car. He was wearing basketball shorts and a tank top.
"Damn, Jimmy. Way to make a guy feel underdressed." He laughed, and all of a sudden I felt like throwing up. I tried to hide the roses, but how the hell do you hide roses?
"For me? Weird, but thanks!" He took them and smelled them dramatically. Gestured with his chin to the camera on the dashboard.
"Anything for you, babe," I quipped, appropriate for our videos. He nodded and gave me a sexy look, before he leaned over and turned it off.
"Sorry, Jimmy." Back to his regular voice. "I knew it would make a great clip. Kind of an expectation vs reality video. I set one up in our room too, to take some videos of you getting ready. I knew you'd want to look nice. Don't worry. I'll keep it PG 13 when I edit it. No nudity."
I chuckled uncomfortably. "Don't add me opening the present though. Or when I picked my nose."
"Awwww, don't be mad babe. I bet you were cute, making sure you looked your best. I'll find the perfect song. The Gulls will love it. It'll be our Valentine gift to them."
We drove for about an hour. The gloomy day turned into a gloomy night. No stars thanks to the cloud cover. It felt weird. I felt weird.
Jeremy pulled into a look out spot, where you could see for miles, thanks to light pollution in the city. The ocean in the far distance. The coastal forest behind us. There was no one else up here, but it was kind of early. Barely six o'clock.
This was not really what I had expected.
"We can go get something to eat after, if you want. I just wasn't sure when you could eat, you know, after...umm...the present...and before... we..." He ran his hand through his hair and looked out of his window.
I had no clue about eating. Or about douching. Or really anything about what was clearly about to happen. I'd never watched that kind of porn, or read online or watched any 'instructional' videos, except the one I saw to help me douche. I mean...duh... I knew how it worked...kind of... I knew where ... he ....had to ...put ...it.. Other than that...
"Maybe we shouldn't do this," I whispered. It felt weird. It felt...not... good.
Why didn't it feel good?
"It'll be fine, Jimmy. Stop worrying. Let's smoke a little first, to relax. Then we'll go sit in the back. I bet we can figure this out. Together."
===
The first thing he did when we got in the backseat was take off his shirt. I loved his chest. He kept much better to our diet than the rest of us and worked out every day, sometimes twice a day and it really showed. He had a broad chest, dark rings around his nipples, a long torso with very defined abs. His arms were rounded with muscles and smooth.
"You can touch me, Jimmy." He didn't sound anywhere near as nervous as I felt.
We sat in the backseat, side by side, with one of his arms around me. I reached over and traced every line and bump, flicking his nipple a little. It was strangely intoxicating to touch him like this. I was glad we'd gotten a little high because otherwise I'd be too shy to do this. What I'd always wanted.
"Your turn, Jimmy."
He took off my shirt, and stripped me of my belt. I lay a little against the passenger door, letting him look. I wasn't bad. Nothing like him, thinner than him, but still had abs and a nice chest. I had tons of likes on my thirst trap pics on Instagram. I knew I looked good.
"Hold on. Don't move."
He grabbed the roses from the front seat, ripped one apart, and drifted the petals over my white chest.
"Damn, baby. You are a fucking wet dream come to life." He took a few pictures with his phone. I knew he'd post them on my account for me.
He put a petal between my lips and took a few more pictures.
Then pushed the petals off me and threw his phone down. He pulled hard on my legs, until I was laying down and he climbed on top of me.
"Can I finally fuck you, Jimmy?" He teased, mouth moving everywhere on my skin, except my lips. I tried to turn his head, to finally kiss him, which is what I'd been dreaming about forever, but he turned his face sharply away.
"No, baby. No kissing. But I have something else to put in your mouth, if you want it."
He looked at me seriously, and I nodded. With a smooth move coming from a lot of practice, he pushed down on his shorts, stripping himself in less than three seconds. He straddled my body on his knees, letting me really see him for the first time. Everything seemed awkward in the backseat of a car.
This was it. I was really going to do this.
I touched it. And it flexed. He grinned down at me, biting his lip. It was definitely not like touching myself. Not at all.
I traced from his waist to the base of it, up the length, to the tip, around the tiny hole, dipping my finger in the wetness there.
"Taste it."
I did. I took the liquid to my mouth.
He groaned, and leaked a little more.
"More. Taste the rest." He whispered.
I opened my mouth, and holding him with one hand, I brought him to my lips. I kissed the tip, the way I wished I could kiss him. I touched him with my tongue, the way I wished I could touch his tongue to mine. I put him in my mouth, and he grabbed my hair and moaned louder.
I've obviously never done this before. I only know from what girls have done to me But I guess I did it right. He seemed to enjoy it. His hips thrust a little, moving it in my mouth, but I held onto the base, stopping him when it was too much, too fast.
Even as I was doing it, wrapping my lips around him, as he slid in and out, I couldn't believe it was actually happening. Doing this to him, hearing him, just watching his hips move, watching him expose his neck as he rolled his head first to one side then the other, obviously enjoying it, enjoying being in my mouth, I felt such a heady (sorry) arousal, that I'd never never felt before.
I never wanted it to end.
But he pulled back and out, and attacked my neck, sucking hard, making noises, hands insistent at my button and zipper, opening me up, unwrapping me, his Valentine's present. I pushed him back for a second and peeled off my jeans and underwear, ready for him to touch me, the way I'd touched him.
Now I was the one making noises as his hand grasped me, pulling hard, rough, needy, before kissing my bare hips, licking up me like a candy cane before surrounding me with his lips. Then pulling off.
"Tell me if you're going to cum, Jimmy. I don't want it in my mouth, okay?"
It was awkward as hell, but I got it. That would be so gross, right? But he still sucked me, and I couldn't help putting my hands in his short hair, feeling it's bristly texture. His ears.
He moved back and sat on his haunches. I could see all of him, he could see all of me.
"Did you bring the lube I bought you?" He finally asked, his voice a little off.
"Yeah, it's in my pocket."
He searched through my jeans until he got, then went into his own shorts to grab the condom he had there.
"You washed really good, right?"
"Yeah, I did the best I could. I really wasn't sure..." I stammered. But again, I got it. Cause really, the idea of sticking his dick where I shit, must be really...disgusting.
He made a face, then sighed. "Well, I'm sure it'll be fine." He slipped on the condom and rubbed my dick for a few strokes. I wasn't sure what to do, so I just turned to face the back of the seat, exposing my ass to him, my front rubbing on the expensive leather upholstery. He half lay down behind me, stroking my butt, squeezing it.
I heard him open the bottle, and the smell of carrot cake filled the space. I wished we'd maybe smoked a little bit more, because I was so scared all of a sudden.
"You need to relax. No way I'm getting a finger up there if you can't."
I tried to picture soothing things. Laying in front of a fireplace at Christmas, my parents wrapping presents for my baby cousin on the kitchen table behind me. Riding my bike up my street, the rest of the guys with me, on a warm summer night, the feeling of freedom, knowing we didn't have to be home until midnight. Sitting on the couch with Sammy this morning, his feet in my lap.
Jimmy, you shit. I said to myself. And erased that thought. And tried to come back to the moment. But...
"You know. I think we should stop. I don't think it's going to work." I said slowly.
Jeremy made a frustrated noise, then lay completely down, his front against my back. He didn't say anything. Just held me, rubbing my arms like he always did when I got anxious or upset. He kissed my neck and down my spine, putting his hand to my front and rubbing circles on my sternum and up to my throat and back down again. He hitched up a little and whispered in my ear, his hand finally reaching down to touch my wilting dick, gently caressing it and squeezing my balls.
"Do you when it first happened for me, Jimmy? The first time I noticed you, thought about you, like this?"
I shook my head. I didn't think he really had until this school year when we started the Boardwalk Bros.
"It was the summer before our senior year, and we went fishing with Kenny's dad. You remember?"
I did. We had a good time.
"It was hot. Like ninety degrees or something. And you took off your shirt to go swimming. And the sunlight kind of outlined you, and your hair was like, it looked so good, and you were laughing at something Kenny said, probably. For some reason I just couldn't stop looking at you. That was the first time I saw you that way."
His words were slow and hypnotic and his dick was hard in my crack, and I barely noticed when he moved his hand back, used the lube again, and pressed a finger gently into me.
I mean, I definitely felt it go inside of me. It was weird and uncomfortable, but as he confessed in my ear, about how he thought of me at night, and touched himself, it started to feel a little better. I moved onto my back, and he lay on top of me, wrapping my knee into his elbow, the other on his hip, lifting myself up so he could continue moving his finger in and out of me. He added another finger, stretched me for awhile, and finally, after he looked at me carefully to see that it was okay, he pushed his tip slowly into me.
I bit back my words, and just tried to ignore the pain. I almost said to stop again, because it hurt, but this is what I wanted. I'd wanted this without really thinking concretely about it. I wanted to be with him this way, the way I knew I didn't want to be with all of those girls. This was Jeremy. Jeremy. Who I'd wished for in my secret heart.
He pulled out and added more lube, and I was instantly brough back to the party and to the cake he got specially for me. He'd remembered that carrot cake was my favorite. And even if that birthday was full of weird moments, I did remember what it felt like to see him coming towards me from the kitchen, with my cake, candles burning, off key singing, and knowing it was from him, for me. And I remember the way it felt for him to lay down with me on my bed for the first time that night, and how quietly happy that made me. That he chose me. Wanted me. The way I wanted him.
My ass ached as he pushed in harder and then harder again, picking up his pace, his gaze focused on me. He kissed my cheek somewhat haphazardly as he moved, and it was nice. He pulled out, added more lube to me and to himself, then pushed back inside. I put my hand against his face, as my body rocked back and forth. Every now and then he stopped to readjust his position. Doing this in the backseat of a car wasn't maybe the best idea. But he kept at it, and I tried to help by shifting my hips or moving my legs to different spots trying to brace against the seat to get more leverage to push down and onto him. He closed his eyes as he finally found his rhythm, his movement like a heartbeat.
"I didn't know it would feel so good," he whispered heatedly. "You feel so good, Jimmy. I'm so glad you're my best friend," and with that, he came suddenly, stuttering harder for a moment, his face tense. My back arched seeing him so overwhelmed, and of course, now that it started to finally feel good for me, he was done.
He lay roughly on top of me, and I held him close, letting his face rest on my shoulder. Rubbing his back.
Then he pulled out and sat up on the other end of the seat, and I lay there, trying to ascertain if my body was capable of sitting up.
"You didn't finish," he said, surprised. "Do you want me to..." He gestured vaguely towards my dick.
"No," I said. "I'm fine." The last thing I felt like doing was having him jerk me off. What I really wanted desperately was to take a shower. I felt so strange, like my body wasn't my own. But I settled on at least getting dressed. Hopefully once I got my clothes back on, I'd stop feeling so ...whatever.
I reached down to grab my jeans off the floor, trying to think how I was going to get them on in the backseat, when my hand felt something sticky. I glanced down and saw I'd stuck my hand into a used condom under the front seat.
He noticed, and grimaced. "Sorry about that, I forgot to throw that out earlier." He took the condom off his dick and tied it off and reached over, grabbing the one in my hand and throwing both in the tiny trash can in the front.
"You had sex earlier today?"
"Yeah, just some girl from my Chem lab. She texted me, whining how lonely she felt on Valentine's Day, so I thought I'd help her out." He said it so casually, looking out the window.
"Oh," I said, and again, tried to assess what was going on.
He turned to me. "Hey Jimmy, can we talk about something? Something really serious? It's important."
I nodded, still feeling dazed, trying to take in everything that just happened, while getting my clothes on. I wished I had basketball shorts and a tank top, or sweats or something comfortable. The jeans were feeling really constrictive on my ass. Jeremy seemed content to stay naked.
"I think...I think that we need to seriously think about ending this Boardwalk Bros stuff. This kind of thing tends to play itself out, and ..." He sighed and looked at me, blushed, then looked back out of the window. "I think I want to focus on just you and me right now."
I relaxed. Finally, finally this felt good. What I'd hoped for.
"Yeah? I think I'd like that, Jeremy." My best friend. He really was. This was really happening between us. This was that moment I didn't realize I'd wanted. I hadn't let myself put it into words, but I did. Sex would likely get better, but this was what I'd really wanted.
"But, I think, to do this, we're going to have to...kind of be brave. I think it's going to be weird when people find out. We might lose a few people in our lives. But lots of people will still be okay."
"I know, Jeremy. I thought about that, and it scared me but... I mean..." I winced. "It's normal, right? These days? No big deal?"
"I wasn't sure you'd be okay with it. I wasn't sure if you really wanted to..." he stammered. "I couldn't tell if it was really your thing or not."
I smiled, and wiped away a few tears. "I am. I really want to."
"Really, really? I know tonight wasn't perfect, but I can get better at it. I think with some practice, it can be a really important part of this...new...adventure. I promise."
I kissed his hand. He grinned and leaned over, kissing my neck.
"You want to do it right now?" he asked.
"Ummm...what?"
"Let me just get something." He reached into the front seat and grabbed his backpack.
I closed my eyes, wondering if this was as cringy and wonderful for him as it was for me. A Valentine's gift. Nothing could compare to my roses, I thought sarcastically in my head.
Nothing happened, he didn't say or do anything, so I opened my eyes.
His laptop was open on his knees.
"Just a second." He opened a webpage. "Okay. Let's do this. What should we call our channel? Just our names together? Something else? Should we use the Boardwalk Bros somehow?"
I read the screen.
It was the OnlyFans sign up page.
"What?" I said.
"Do you really care what we call ourselves? Most of the time, you're cool leaving this stuff up to me. Hmmm...maybe it shouldn't be both of our names, but maybe something more generic. I'm imagining we should include a third a lot of the time, like we did with your girlfriend. Now that was hot. Some solo stuff too. The real money is probably older gay men, hot to see our young bods, but you never know..."
I slowly closed the screen, and tried to breathe. I definitely was crying now.
"What's wrong, Jimmy? Does it feel...bad?" He glanced down at my ass. "Should we go home? We can do this tomorrow. Or do you want to go get some food? I don't really feel like it going out. Let's just order at home."
I sat there, trying to decide what to say.
"Come on, Jimmy. Talk to me." He touched my face, but I pulled away. "What is wrong with you? Why are you crying?"
"I'm not going to do an OnlyFans with you." I finally decided that was where I needed to start.
"What the hell? You already said yes. I don't get it."
"I didn't know that's what you meant. I thought.. I thought you were asking me to be your boyfriend."
Even in the dark car, I could see the look on his face. The panic. It was really all I needed to see. I was an idiot. God, I was so fucking naïve. Ivy would laugh and laugh and laugh.
"Jimmy, you know I don't do relationships. I don't know why you'd even think that I would."
"Because I'm special." I said bitterly, my voice laced with sarcasm, directed one hundred percent at myself. "Because I'm the real deal." I wondered when this nightmare would end.
"You are special to me, Jimmy. You are. But I just... I don't want to ... be a boyfriend. What does that even mean? Look, I'm serious. What does that mean to you? Being boyfriends?"
I rattled off a list of things off the top of my head. The things I'd been hoping for, like a dumbass. "It means being exclusive. It means caring about each other. Happy with each other. Doing stuff together. Taking care of each other."
"We DO most of those things as FRIENDS, Jimmy. But I can't be exclusive and you know it. I know you don't want that either. You love girls too much. I've seen you. Your body count is almost as high as mine!" He was starting to get a little pissed. I could tell. "You want to be boyfriends? We're not even gay!"
"Are you for real? We just had sex!"
"That doesn't mean anything! Sex is just sex. I wasn't even sure I could do it with a guy, but since it was you, I thought I probably could pull it off. But I'd never be into any other guy. It was good because it was you, Jimmy. That's the only reason. I am not gay! Or even bisexual. And I'm not in the closet or whatever. I just wanted to try with you because of the OnlyFans and because I knew you wanted to..."
"Yup I did. Know why, Jeremy?" I leaned over until my face was right next to his. "Because maybe YOU aren't, BUT.....I.....AM.....GAY!!!!!!" I shouted it, spitting all over him.
It felt like this is what I needed. Anger. To get over my fear. I actually said it.
"I AM GAY, Jeremy! I NEVER liked being with girls. I HATED having sex with them. I wanted you, Jeremy. Not because I thought you were hot. But because I LIKE you. I want you to be my boyfriend. I want us to go on dates and kiss and fuck and play video games and dance together and party together because I LIKE YOU and I AM GAY!!"
He shook his head, like a stubborn little boy, refusing to listen. "No, you're not. But it doesn't matter. Labels like that are dumb anyway. Yes, you and I have something different that other friends, and maybe I guess, I am not one hundred percent straight but, no matter what, Jimmy, I don't want to be in a relationship and do that romantic shit. I just don't feel that way. About anyone. Girls or you." I flinched and I could see he immediately regretted the last comment.
"So...let's be clear. You want us to still live together, continue being "special" best friends who have sex, record it, and put it online and make money."
"Everyone these days is doing it Jimmy. The money is unbelievable!"
"Okay, and you want to include girls in these videos?"
"Yes, sometimes at least, why not!?"
"And you want to keep hooking up with tons of other people?"
"Yes, Jimmy, I like having sex with girls."
"So you'd be cool if I did that too? With guys? Since I'm not into girls?"
He paused, confused. He obviously had never even thought of that. "Really? You really don't want to be with girls? Like at all?"
"I really don't. I'm a complete fag, okay? Girls gross me out. So...you're cool if I hook up with lots of guys? What if I said I wanted to have a boyfriend? You still okay with that? You and I would still be best friends and fuck for the OnlyFans, but I'd have another guy as my boyfriend."
Again, he paused. "No."
"No?" I felt like punching his hypocritical face.
"No. And fuck if I don't know who you're thinking of. But not him, Jimmy. No fucking way."
"Why not? I want a boyfriend who cares about me. I don't want to just fuck random guys."
"Not HIM, or anyone else, Jimmy!!! You can't. You're MINE!!"
"You idiot. I'm YOURS? You really just said that? But it's okay for you to fuck around? And for me to fuck around?"
"If you're going to be serious with someone, it's going to be ME!!" He said, grabbing my shirt.
"That's what I WANT Jeremy! That's what I've been trying to SAY! I WANT to be serious with you..."
He looked at me, and shook his head no.
"What? So...okay," I tried to get it through my head. "You want me to be YOUR boyfriend, but you don't want to be MY boyfriend?"
He couldn't help but shrug and laugh.
"Yeah? Maybe?' Thankfully I could see he knew he'd lost. Lost what, maybe neither of us realized just yet.
I felt time kind of stand still. I felt like I'd lost sensation in every part of my body, except my ass, because it still hurt like a motherfucker. Jeremy was staring out the window again, both of us more unhappy with each other than we'd ever been before. We never fought. The two of us. Sometimes he and Sammy fought, or I'd fight with Kenny occasionally. We were friends since middle school, so it was normal to fight. But not Jeremy and I. We never did.
"What do you want to do now, Jimmy?" Monotone, as he pulled his clothes on.
"I want to go home."
=
Author's Note:
Did you see it coming? I know a lot of you did. I'm proud of Jimmy for standing up for himself finally, although for his sake, I wish he'd done it before they went in the backseat.
Have you ever known anyone like Jeremy?
What do you think of him? Like all of my "villain" characters I don't think he's a despicably horrible person. I do think he is really messed up, and probably more confused than he realizes. There must be a reason he's so relationship adverse. Or maybe he's just a selfish, narcissitic pig. What do you think?