In all of my time alone id worked off of my survival instincts, finding the most efficient way to come out on top.
And usually that meant tough face, taking what I needed when I needed it and never letting my guard down.
But even as we pulled up to the doctor's, the last shreds of my tough human front having crumbled away. Even though I knew i was in a car with a vampire, a being that could rip me in half if he so wanted... something told me I would be ok.
That to survive right now I needed to rely on that vampire sitting next to me. Maybe it was cause of how he held me, with such gentle care or how he never stopped sounding genuine while reasurring me that it was going to be ok.
Or maybe it was cause it's Andi.
My mind had just pushed the whole... vampire thing to the back burner, and while I knew, right now all I could see was Andi.
It was still added on to the list of things that would soon become a problem.
But we had our priorities straight, and that priority was fixing me.
The car door was opened and Andi bent down to me. He was attempting to stay calm and collected but I could hear anxiety in his tone.
"How're we doing now?"
I tried to steady my heavy breaths as I hugged June in close, my new appendages were not holding back on the discomfort and I was trying my best not to start sobbing again.
"Hur's"
I whined, they didn't specifically hurt anymore I just couldn't think of another way to describe it. It felt like all my senses were turned up to a thousand, and I definitely didn't want them touched anymore, being tucked up in the hoodie was enough.
It reminded me of how I felt in Ben's and that just made me want to cry more.
"Let's just get inside come on Bambi. It's all gonna be ok"
He unbuckled me and held out his arms, allowing me to move forward into his hold. He lifted me up. I wasn't in any state to walk and I knew that so I didn't protest.
Andi rather awkwardly took the extra care to make sure he wasn't touching my tail as I was held close to his chest
I didn't blame him him for being unsure, i wasn't very helpful. Choking back a sob while buring to death in shame looking like a 4 year old with my shaking arms around Andis neck.
But I, in a survival choice, shoved down my pride in favour of comfort and laid my head down on Andi's shoulder.
He whispered for me to keep my head low as we walked in, I moved it straight to his neck, to hide from the impending receptionist interaction.
I didn't listen to her but she sounded far too chipper for this time at night. We were told to wait for the doctor arrive and Andi thanked her.
We sat down on two chairs, well we more sat between two as Andi continued to hold me close into his side.
I clutched June while nervously looking at the ground. I had managed to bottle everything up for the moment, stopping my tears but sending the dull horrible pain and creeping fuzziness into overdrive. It felt like I was going to explode.
Andi was trying to keep cool,unconsciously bounced his leg in his own nervous tick. When he accidentally bumped off my tail.
I yelped, Andi immediately apologized but the damage was done and I was set off. I started crying all over again as Andi desperately tried to soothe me.
I screamed and pulled at my hood, I didn't want it touching my ears anymore, they hurt.
"Jamie we have to keep the hood up"
Andi stopped me. I knew he was right but I didn't care, it felt like it was suffocating me.
I was too overwhelmed by the sensitivity of my ears, and my tail. I started to kick my legs and ,all while crying more and more.
My self awareness was unbearable, screaming in my head to stop acting like a baby. So I bit my lip and started pulling at my hair to stop myself from making more of a scene. Only increasing my panic.
It was like all of my emotions were becoming channeled through my veins into adrenaline, once again akin to how I felt at Ben's, fight or flight, like the only strength I had was coming from the fear.
But I had no way to expend the adrenaline so I just cried harder, through unwilling gritted teeth.
In my fit I didn't even notice the receptionist coming over and giving andi a cup. Andi bypassed my cries and pulled my hands away from my face, holding them, rubbing little circles and repeating my name softly till I acknowledged him.
"Sips Bambi, I'll hold it"
He spoke gently. Holding the cup to my lips. I shook my head and cried out a bit. Andi insisted.
"It's only water jam it's ok. Now sips, come on"
I cried slightly but opened my mouth a little, allowing Andi to tilt the cup. I took little sips of water, how cold it was making me focus my attention onto it.
Andi pulled the small cup away when I was done and wiped away a dribble of water going down my chin. It made me flush and whine, almost bringing me back to the overwhelming situation at hand. But Andi was quick to keep my attention diverted
"Tell me what you can see jam"
"Huh?"
I sniffled, harshly wiping at my sore eyes as Andi repeated himself.
"What can you see Bambi?"
"Um-"
I looked around the empty reception
"A plant.."
Andi encouraged me.
"What else?"
"Chairs.. you... Wall.. posters"
I trailed along the wall and said more things
"Clock... TV... Paw-"
I cut myself off in shock and stared at the little TV on the wall in wonder.
Paw Patrol was playing! I hadn't seen it in so long but it was here.
"Do you like that show Bambi?"
I didn't say anything just humming as I crawled closer to get a better look at the screen. Unknowingly crawling right into andis lap.
I was promptly absorbed by the show, leaning completely onto Andi and enjoying the puppy's going off on another adventure.
Focusing in on the water, the show, hearing andis steady heartbeat brought me away from the discomfort of my transformation, enough so that I didn't even realise it was dissipating.
Although, no matter how good paw patrol was, everything was still alot to handle. My crying was alot less but I still let out the occasional hiccup and whimper.
Andi wrapped his arms around me, I leaned deeper into him,curling up as I felt my eyes getting heavy. My hoodie no longer felt suffocating, more like a big blanket wrapped around me.
I tried my best to stay awake, I had to see the doctor and paw patrol was on.. but I couldn't help my exhaustion taking me over.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Jamie properly relaxed in my arms for the first time that night. I let out a sigh of relief.
I knew I was gonna have to wake them up again for the actual consultation but having them asleep, all that pain drain away from their face was perfect for the time being.
I wouldn't let myself go to sleep though I needed to stay alert for Jamie's sake. So I occupied myself by reading the plethora of informational pamphlets next to me, giving myself a pinch every now and then to ward off sleep.
After everything was read I found myself just staring at Jamie. Zoning out with a little smile on my face at how peaceful they looked. Stark contrast to earlier
Jamie still held on tight to the bunny in their sleep, it had moved up to cover their face. So I moved June's head just a little bit and was met by Jamie sucking their thumb.
I couldn't help but literally aw at the sight. With the tiny enclosed fists, thumb sucking, and stuffie Jamie really did look like a baby.
It was a while longer before someone called out to me.
"Andrew?"
I looked up from the little babe and saw a doctor. I nodded and he beckoned me over.
I stood, bundling up Jamie, and hastily moved towards to doctor.
"Perry I assume?"
"Yes, and this must be Jamie. Here come on through and we can figure out why I was so desperately needed in the middle of the night"
I followed the doctor on through to his office , where I sat down on one of the provided chairs. Jamie still snoozing in my lap.
"Do you want to wake them up?"
I shook my head
"Nono- it's probably best we talk ourselves first"
The doctor sat in his chair and typed at some things on his computer.
"Tom has already told me a good deal about you and Jamie. So you've made no efforts yourself but suspect they're already regressing in some way?"
I nodded and tried to figure out somewhere to start. Instead just letting out an exasperated breath, tonight had been a lot.
"Are you alright Andrew? you look tired"
"Yeah um it's been a long night. A string of long nights actually"
"Is it their bedwetting? Tom mentioned that too"
"Yeah it's been getting worse recently and- Christ that's how tonight started"
The doctor leaned up against the exam table and implored me.
"Ok start from the beginning and tell me what happened"
I recounted the night, my suggestion of the diapers, Jamie's meltdown, Jamie's... transformation and the following breakdown.
The doctor stared at me, silent and dumbfounded, he stuttered for a moment, as his eyes drifted down to our topic of ocnversation.
"Dear Lord..."
I just nodded, holding Jamie up closer to me, hugging them tight.
"A werewolf.. a pup. This is so incredibly rare. And you had no clue?"
"I mean I had suspicions of fledgling mid turn or something-"
I took another breath
"I don't know what to do. They seemed just as unsure as I was. They were so scared, I'm sorry to have dragged you out in the middle of the night"
"No do not be sorry, you've done the right thing-"
Perry thought for a moment.
"I apologise though, I'm well versed enough on werewolves, adults that is. I've seen a few over the years and am as well read as you could be on the subject but I have little actually experience with pups"
I was about to say something but he kept going.
"Though I suppose no one has much experience with werewolf pups, they're very secretive about their young-"
He seemed to be going off on a tangent but circled himself back to Jamie.
Do you have any idea how this could have happened?"
I shook my head.
"It's through a bite right?"
Perry grabbed a clipboard off his desk as he talked.
"In most cases yes, lycanthropy is passed through a bite. But some, anonymous obviously, cases have shown it exhibited after a scratch. There's even been a few of it transferred as an Sti"
I spoke alot louder than I intended to.
"AN STI?!"
Perry moved to calm me, assuring me it was only once, and highly unlikely to be what happened to Jamie. I still hugged them tighter and whispered some little things, despite knowing they wouldn't hear.
The doctor bent down to jamies level.
"Now could I have a look at their ears?"
I nodded and readjusted Jamie to have their back laying against my chest. I pulled back the hood to find... no ears.
I couldn't help myself from raising my voice again.
"What?!"
I ran my fingers through their hair, finding absolutely no evidence of anything. I turned back to doctor
"Please Perry you have to believe me. I don't know when or how, but they were changed-"
He cut me off
"Andrew Andrew calm down, I believe you. They most likely changed back because they calmed down because they're asleep"
I remembered how much tension Jamie had in their limbs, and how it melted away in the reception.
"Is that how it works, calming them down?"
The doctor scrunched up his face before deciding.
"I think it's vital we bring Jamie into this conversation. They should be hearing this too. And there's nothing more we can discern without their input and a physical exam"
"Yeah you're right"
The doctor patted the exam table.
"Here sit them on the table, oh and I should ask-"
I stood and Perry turned back to me
"How do you speak to Jamie? Any sort of baby talk or simplification. I wouldn't want to speak to them as a child when they're not ready"
I answered him honestly.
"I talk to Jamie as I would to talk to anyone else I respect. I've only ever simplified things if they ask or if they go into that fuzzy headspace Tom mentioned. Though I must admit I've been acting quite parental with everything going on"
The doctor smiled at me
"I must say Andrew. I'm very impressed with you, you hold a very nuanced view to regression and you very obviously care a great deal about Jamie. I respect it"
That made me smile. Lifting my spirits a little after such a difficult night.
I moved Jamie over to the table and gave them a few gentle shakes.
"Jam, bambi, you gotta wake up"
They whined and squirmed, refusing to be put down on the table. Moving to curl back into my chest.
"Bambi, were in with the doctor you gotta wake up"
That got Jamie awake. Their eyes shot open and they pushed off me, falling back onto the table. They winced but opened their eyes in shock.
They patted at their back and tried to look behind them. I finished their thoughts
"Jamie you changed back while you were asleep"
They stared at me in disbelief but then reached up to their hair to be sure, raking their fingers through it and finding no ears either.
They looked around the room rapidly before their eyes settled on us two standing in front of them. Jamie's ears went pink as they realised June was still seated in their lap.
They casually moved June around behind them, out of site but still close, and turned back to us.
The doctor extended his hand.
"Hello Jamie, my name's Perry"
Jamie stared at the doctor for a moment, before gathering themselves together shaking his hand and responding.
"H-hello"
"Normally I give my patients stickers but I don't supoose you'd like one?"
Jamie shook their head.
There was another moment of silence that Perry broke.
"Jamie. Andrew has already filled me in what happened tonight-"
Jamie looked to me and I gave them a reassuring nod.
"But it would be even better to hear if from you Jamie. So please, tell me what happened"
Jamie took a second before beginning. Seemingly trying to talk as little as possible, they knew they had to, but still definitely didn't want to.
"Um I got mad at And- Andrew"
It felt weird hearing Jamie say my actually name, unnatural.
"And I went into the bathroom. And I was really mad, and then I started to hurt, and I changed"
They stopped, thinking that was really all that needed to be said. Perry was understanding and patient with them.
"Is that all?"
"Um, I saw myself in the mirror and I saw the...ears.. and I got scared and all everything was really.. bad"
They were definitely struggling but Perry knew what to do.
"Thank you Jamie, you've had a very hard night that couldn't have been easy. So I'm just gonna ask you some more questions"
Jamie nodded for him to start.
"You said you started to hurt, could you describe the hurt a bit more?"
"It was like really hot. Like searing hot on my head and going down my back"
"Ok"
The doctor wrote something down, we thought Jamie was done but they kept going.
"And on my arm. It hurts alot"
The doctor wrote that down too.
"So you've gotten pain like this before Jamie?"
They nodded.
"This bad?"
They hesitated, but shook their head.
"Ok then... Could you tell me how the ears and the tail felt jamie"
I wanted to say they looked ungodly soft but knew it wasn't what he was looking for.
"Bad"
Jamie answered simply, the doctor encouraged more detail.
"They made everything really overwhelming. Like didn't want any touching or hearing things. I couldn't focus I felt like I was buzzing an my head got all fuzzy 'gain.... It was horrible"
As Jamie described the urge to hug them was becoming stronger and stronger. But I held back, knowing they wouldn't be too receptive in front of the doctor.
"You said your head went fuzzy Jamie?"
"Yeah it happens, I don't like it"
"Can you tell me more about it?"
"Um I dunno. Happens when I'm tired usually, sometimes it just happens, my head goes all fuzzy and I feel stupid"
"Mhm hmm"
The doctor took stuff down on his pad.
"If it's really bad I can't remember stuffs- stuff!"
"Ok, ok. That was perfect Jamie. Thank you for telling me all that"
Jamie wrung their hands anxiously, I could see tension creeping into them, how they tightened their jaw.
The doctor reviewed down his notes and adressed us both.
"Well let's get the obvious out of the way, we all know. let's just say it.
Jamie you are a lycan, a werewolf and tonight you went through your first shift-"
Jamie cut him off curtly, clenching their fists tight.
"Not werewolf, not first"
They said gruffly, frustration obviously building in their voice. I had a feeling this wasn't going to go well and my parental instincts took over.
I moved forward and put my hand on Jamies shoulder. I squeezed it in comfort.
"Jamie you're ok"
They turned to me, and it felt like it was only us two in the world. They choked back a little cry and shook their head. I noticed a glossy sheen of tears passing over their eyes, so reassured them.
"Bambi, you are ok"
I gave them my other hand which they snatched to their chest to hug.
"You're doing so well bambi, so so well. You're so brave for coming here with me. I'm very proud of you bambi"
They nodded, using my hand to wipe at their eyes which made me chuckle.
"We good?"
They nodded again and we brought ourselves back to the doctors office and the doctor who stared at us.
He tried to bring the exams momentum back.
"Jamie what did you mean by not first?"
"I've felt like this before"
Jamie responded, still holding my hand.
"When?"
"At a friend's house, I got scared and i got the same feelings"
I got in before the doctor.
"Bens?"
Jamie nodded, I squeeze their hand to show I understood and gave the doctor a little hand signal to move on.
"Jamie do you know how this could've happened?"
They hesitated before admitting.
"....I got bit by a dog a while ago"
"Can we see where?"
Jamie took a second to steady their breaths and let go of my hand to take off the hoodie. They rolled up their loose pyjama sleeve up their right arm.
Memories flashed in my head of Jamie recoiling from touch to their right arm, always wearing long sleeves or what happened during toms checkup.
But I was not prepared for what I saw. I involuntarily gasped as Jamie rolled up the last of their sleeve
They was a large bite mark on Jamie's arm. It looked.. new, fresh and showed absolutely no signs of scabbing or healing. The doctor stared at in and said.
"That is definitely a Lycan bite"
It was surrounded by angry red flesh and dark veins that shot out from every direction. It looked agonizing
"Jamie... How long ago were you bit?"
Perry asked with no emotion. He seemed to be in some shock himself but was mainting his composure.
"..2...Years"
Jamie answered, shame making their voice crack. My eyes shot from the wound up to their face. I raised my eyebrows and they nodded, choking back another sob.
The doctor quickly grabbed two gloves.
"May I Jamie?"
Jamie nodded. The doctor began to prod around the area, Jamie wincing and his at every touch.
He took a step back and sighed. Jamie quickly pulling their sleeve back down
"Jamie this should've definitely healed by now"
The doctor looked over his notes.
"All I can do about that now is bandage it for pressure but I have a theory as to why. It will take a bit of explaining"
I told him to just start already, it was getting late and I still needed to drive home before my exhaustion caught up to me.
He gathered what he needed and started dressing the wound.
"Jamie how much do you know about werewolves?"
"Not alot.. they come out at the moon, um. they're strong..and big..and fast.."
Jamie shrugged their shoulders and looked down dedjectdedly. Wincing every so often at the bandages.
"Is that why you think you're not a werewolf Jamie. Cause you're not like the stories?"
"I mean. I can't be, fucking look at me I'm tiny. Andis a damn giant compared to me"
He exclaimed and I stopped myself from laughing but still smiled.
"Well when a werewolf wants a baby, and they're unable to do so themselves or simply rather wouldn't do it themselves. They turn humans."
I watched Jamie's face morph in horror as the doctor went on, slowly to make sure they understood.
"When a werewolf bites a human and passes lycanthropy onto them. It triggers something in the brain called age regression"
"Age regression?"
"Yes Jamie age regression, it can mean a number of different things, but here it is used to leave werewolves victim vulnerable and allow the werewolf to do what they please. It's rather archaic to say the least"
Jamie definitely didn't understand the last bit but was still getting anxious. Perry finished bandaging and Jamie roughly pulled their arm back.
"What does it mean?!"
"Werewolves are similar to vampires in age cycles. Every 10 human years equals one supernatural. Jamie, this age regression is setting you on your new supernatural clock. It's adjusting you to your new age"
There was a moment of pause.
"Jamie you're not 17... You're 1.7 years old"
Jamie and I were in actual silent shock, it lasted an actual eternity until Perry spoke.
"I believe your bite hasn't healed because you've rejected the change. I have no idea how, you'd need to have an insane amount of willpower to last more than a few days Jamie"
Neither of us spoke, so the doctor kept going
" It most likely the reason for all your discomfort. Even if you have stopped the change as much as you can, it will happen one way or another. The headaches, fuzziness, memory loss, bedwetting. It's your body dragging you along Jamie"
"No"
They reached behind the back and grabbed june, hugging her close. They also reached out for my hand, which I quickly have them. They didn't say anything else.
Perry kept going.
"Shifting isn't supposed to hurt Jamie. It's a channeling of emotions into power. It's like a defense mechanism. You shifted tonight becuse you were angry. You shifted in your friends house because you were scared"
Perry seemed to realize Jamie was not taking in much more. The stopped with the talking.
"It's been a long night for both of you. We've done so much tonight but I don't think we can achieve much more unless we're rested"
I concurred and Perry gave us the ultimatum.
"So, go home, sleep, rest. And come back in as soon as you can again. I think the best course of action is to create a plan to ease Jamie into the regression-"
Jamie wasn't listening to this at all, which was understandable. They looked so shellshocked and I knew it was time to stop.
"Can we please just go..this can be discussed next time"
"Of course, Jamie is our top priority here and I will contact my sources and do as much research as I can till then.. and Jamie"
Jamie properly looked at the doctor again.
"You've done so well today"
"Sticker?"
Jamie asked, voice pitched a little higher. They'd slipped into the fuzziness again it seemed. The doctor smiled.
"Of course"
Jamie picked out from a sheet of stickers and stuck it to their pyjama shirt. Then turned to me.
"Go home?"
"Yeah bambi, let's go"
They hopped of the table and I grabbed the discarded the hoodie. Before we could move to the door, Perry left us with one more thing.
"I'm so sorry but I have to tell you...any minor found without parents or caregivers we are required to report to cps. 1 or 17, Jamie qualifies. Now I can put it off for a while-"
Jamie interrupted him, sounding almost confused.
"Buh I'm with Andi?"
"Huh?-"
"I'm wif Andi. Andi adi...daddy"
My heart stopped and they shoved their face into my leg, whining a little.
The doctor smirked at me, in my frozen state.
"Don't worry about cps.. you two have a good day"
I thanked him and Jamie and I walked out of the office together. Hand in hand.
Authors Note:
Dear God I got the actual fright of my life this morning. Woke up half the chapter was gone. But I must say, nothing like the fear of god to cure writers block.
Thank you all for reading so far and I'm so happy I've gotten to the point where Andi knows. I've had so many ideas but most of them involved regressed Jamie. So hopefully chapters will come a bit easier to me.
Too da loo y'all.