CW: Mention of Domestic Violence
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Harry
Loss isn't an unfamiliar word for me. I've lost a lot in these last few years. Privacy, Time and Confidence were only a few things that come straight to my mind. But only once have I lost someone important to me. And right now, it feels like I am losing her, all over again.
I sit in my bed staring against the plain wall, my heart beating fast in my chest. All I can hear is her broken voice, the words she cried out constantly replaying themselves in my mind.
"P-please, h-help me."
Helpless. Broken. Scared. Her voice is leaving me feeling all of those things, as I clutch onto my phone with her still on the other line. My heart is sinking further into my chest, just at the thought of what might have caused her to call me.
I breathe in deeply, trying to get my mind to think clearly. I know that I need to get to her. Fast. I can still hear her shallow breathing on the other line, waiting for me to answer, as I press the phone between my shoulders and head, ready to get out of bed to put on some pants.
"Elle?" I exclaim, not able to get out more because I was simply out of breath, sprinting down the stairs and through the hallway, my mind only focused on one thing. Reach her as fast as possible.
"Are you at home, Elle? Are you okay? P-please, tell me you're okay, Elle," I press out in between breaths.
I needed her to be okay. I couldn't even bear the thought of her being seriously injured. But all my mind seems to do is jump from one scenario to the next, making me even more worried than I already am.
"H-home," she sobs, as I grab the keys off the counter and slip into some shoes.
He hurt her. Why else would she be calling me?
I should've done something when I had the chance. She shouldn't even be in that relationship anymore. And I'd done nothing. Too afraid of saying anything, that may scare her away.
I just got her back in my life. I didn't want to lose her already.
"P-please, hurry. I- I'm so scared, H-harry." But hearing her like this, her voice merely a shadow of her broken self, already had me feeling like I lost her, again.
"I'm on my way now. Stay where you are, love. Do you understand?"
I could hear an almost non-audible noise as she tried to answer me, indicating that she understood what I asked of her.
"I'll be there soon, Elle," I state as I jump into my car and start the engine.
As much as it pains me to hang up on her, I need to get there as fast as possible. But it didn't matter that she wasn't on the phone anymore. The horrible thoughts about what might have happened wouldn't leave my mind as I enter the street, immediately speeding up, trying to get there as quickly as I could.
The severity of the situation dawns on me as I speed down the street, the streetlights flying by, as I get to 100. I try to regulate my breath in order to not start sobbing. But I can't hold it in.
I am scared for her. I am scared for myself because I care so much about her.
It probably only took me about 15 minutes to get down here, knowing how fast I was driving. But as I pull up in the parking lot, it feels like two hours passed, between getting her call and arriving at her home. I reach down to my phone, noticing the message that popped up.
Elle: I'm in the bathroom. I think he's gone.
I leave my phone in the car and only take my keys with me. Looking around me, I notice the empty spot where Ben's Mercedes used to park, confirming that he is more than likely gone.
I hurry to the front door of the apartment building, and lucky for me, the door was left unlocked. I rush up the stairs taking two sets at once, my heart seemingly falling out of my chest, the closer I get to her.
The second I get to the floor that Elle lives on, I notice the apartment door, which is left wide open. I take a few deep breaths before I step inside the apartment, trying to prepare myself for the worst. But what I find as soon as I step in, leaves me in a chokehold. My hands shoot up to my mouth as I gasp in pure terror, my eyes widening immediately.
Nothing could've prepared me for what I saw right in front of me.
My heart sinks into my stomach as I walk through the hallway and enter the living room. It looks as though a tornado blew through here. I have already noticed the blood covering the floor, all the way from the door to here, but I didn't even want to think about, whose blood it was, desperately clinging onto hope that Elle is just fine.
Glass shards are spread across the floor, seeming to be the remains of a beer bottle. The blood is not only covering the floor but the walls as well. My view glides over to, what used to be Elle's guitar, but has seemingly been broken into many pieces. The curtains are ripped down and laying on the ground and not a single piece of furniture was left standing where it used to be. Clothes are spread across the floor, stemming from an open suitcase, with only a few things left inside.
"Oh god." The words leave my mouth before I could even stop myself.
When she called me, I knew it was bad. I just didn't think it would be this bad.
My hand shoots up to my mouth, covering up the sobs that leave my body. My breathing gets faster the more it dawns on me, what must have happened here. But I can't waste any more time. Finding Elle and making sure she was alright and safe was the highest priority now.
By the looks of his missing car, Ben must have left a while ago, leaving her behind, all by herself. It was probably a good thing that he isn't here. If he was I couldn't promise that he would be left unharmed.
I turn around on my heels, leaving the mess of a living room behind me. My feet move across the floorboards as quickly as they could, the shards cracking under the pressure of my shoes.
Once I enter the bedroom, the air get's sucked right out of my lungs, a desperate yelp escaping my lips. I try to hold in the tears, seeing the blood not only covering the floor but the bedsheets as well. In seconds I make it to the door leading to the bathroom, gently opening it up to avoid hitting Elle in the process.
My heart seems to stop, once her delicate body appears in the frame, her back resting on a small cabinet. The floor was covered by a pool of blood, that seems to continue to spread. She's startled by the noise, but as soon as she lifts her face and our eyes meet, she breathes out relieved.
"H-harry," she sobs out my name, tears instantly spilling out of her eyes as she starts crying.
I let out a breath I'd been holding in for a while when I realise that she was alright. Or at least as alright as she could be.
"I'm here now, I got you, Elle," I kneel beside her, my hands coming to a rest on her face, gently streaking up and down her cheek.
Her eye and her entire cheek are bruised and swollen, the anger flaring up in my stomach as I realise that he punched her in the face.
Frantically my eyes search her body, trying to see if she was hurt anywhere else. The cut on her arm is probably going to need some medical attention, considering the blood loss stemming from it. Quickly I take a towel, binding it around her arm to try and stop the bleeding. It wasn't a proper solution but good for now. She lets out a sharp breath, squinting her eyes together tightly, as I tie up her arm.
When I'm done, I pick up her phone, wipe off the blood and place it in my back pocket before I quickly lift her up, to which she only moans in pain.
Hearing her like this, made the rage I am already feeling towards Ben only grow even larger and it takes everything from me to not let it show. I can't let him get away with this.
But that could be dealt with later, knowing my priority was to get Elle out of here. She needs me right now, more than ever. And I'm glad she knew that she could call me.
Her head drops into my chest, as I carry her out of the bathroom.
"I'm getting you out of here, okay love?" She nods into my chest, a whimpering yes leaving her mouth before she falls silent again.
I walk down the hallway, but before I can reach the door, I hear Elle mumble something.
"What was that, love?"
"B-blue." She whispers, barely holding her eyes open.
"I'll get him after I put you in the car." She nods frantically, falling silent once more.
I open the door, walking down the stairs in quick motions, while I continue to hold her tightly. Gently I place her on the passenger seat, making sure that I wouldn't accidentally hurt her in the process. I buckle her up before I press a quick kiss on her forehead.
"I'll be right back, okay?"
It only takes me a few minutes to find Blue cowering in a corner of the living room. Judging from the noises leaving his tiny mouth, he is just as shocked by what had happened as I am.
"Everything's alright, Harry's got you," I whisper picking him up.
I make my way back to the front door, stumbling over something on the ground, that I noticed when I first walked in here. Her suitcase. Or more like what used to be a suitcase. I kneel down, placing Blue beside me to see what was left of Elle's things, hoping I could bring some of them so we wouldn't have to come back here for a while.
A few shirts and pants seem to be unharmed, so I take them out and place them next to me. What comes to light under the clothes, has my heart sending a smile to my lips. My hand reaches out to get a hold of the notebook I gifted to her, picking it up to place it next to me.
Once my eyes let loose of the present I get up, trying to find a bag to transport Elle's belongings in. I make a strike in the bedroom, finding a bag just big enough to store the clothes that weren't destroyed in Ben's process of messing up the apartment. It wasn't much but it's better than nothing.
"Come on, let's get out of here, yeah?" I mumble, picking up Blue who gives me a reaffirming bark.
With the bag stored in the trunk and Blue cuddled right into Elle's lap, it was time to head off. My eyes move over to Elle, our eyes locking within seconds. I could see about a hundred different emotions, but one was shining as bright as the full moon lighting up the night sky. Relief.
My mouth opens and closes a few times trying to get out what I had told Blue only minutes before, but somehow the words kept getting stuck in my throat. But a simple nod from her is enough to let me know that she is ready, causing me to turn on the engine and leave the place that had caused so much pain to the girl sitting next to me.
All I can hear on the drive is a few sobs in between the engine sounds and I know I needed to say something but my mind is still hazy trying to replay tonight's events. A look at the clock made it clear to me that we only had a few more hours till the light of dawn would come to wash the night away. My eyes lock back onto the road purposely driving past the turn that would lead us to my house.
There was no need to take my eyes off the road to notice her staring at me in confusion, as I feel her eyes already burning holes through my body. A few barely audible noises escape her lips, letting me know that she wanted to know where we are heading.
"Hospital," I answer before she could even form a question.
She swallows hard, taking a bit of time before she speaks up, "N-no. Can't we just go home?"
"You could have serious injuries Elle and I'm guessing that the wound on your arm needs to be stitched up," I press out, trying to hide the anger that comes up as soon as I think about the guy that put her through this. The guy that just fucked off and left her all alone.
"P-please just don't take me to the hospital. I-I can't explain it to you now, but p-please." I can hear her releasing some air she's been holding in before she continues, "don't you have a private doctor you can call?"
A sigh escapes my lips, realising that there must be a good enough reason, the fear clearly noticeable in her voice. I reach out for my phone our eyes quickly locking as I do.
"Okay," I mumble, a wave of relief instantly washing over her eyes.
One quick call and a turnaround later I pull up in front of the tall gates that hid my home from curious eyes. I drive the last metres up to the front porch, coming to a halt next to the other cars. My hand reaches to open the door, but Elle's hand clutching onto my arm has me stopping in my tracks.
Our eyes meet as I turn around, once again letting me see all the emotions she must be feeling at this precise moment.
"Thank y-"
"Don't." I disrupt her firmly, my voice merely a whisper echoing through the car.
Gratitude was only one of the things I saw in her eyes. But I needed her to know that this was not a thing she has to thank me for.
A single tear rolls down her cheek causing my hand to pull away from her touch, reaching out to wipe away the tear. Gently I let my hand slide further across her cheek, my thumb softly caressing her skin.
"I can't have you thanking me for this, love. Not when I'd do just about anything to make sure you're okay." A soft smile glides across her lips, almost instantly replaced by confusion, spreading across her face.
"Why?"
"Why?" A soft laugh escapes my lips, at her unawareness of how much she means to me.
"Well, one reason is because of this. You don't even realise how much you deserve and I want to show it to you. I need to show it to you." I pause for a few seconds, my hand letting go of her cheek, now finding her hand to give it a light squeeze before I continue, "also because my days are a whole lot better when you're in them. You're like the sun lighting up the morning sky, chasing away the darkness of the night until everything that you seem to touch is shimmering in a warm golden light. And you don't even seem to notice it," I mumble the last part, my voice slowly losing its strength.
My eyes are focused on my hand which gently streaks across her fingers, trying to get her to understand what she really means to me.
"Because ever since I stepped into Beachwood's, it feels like I finally found the missing piece to the puzzle that I had been searching for a while now."
I take a deep breath before I speak up again, my voice now almost fading to a whisper as our eyes lock once again, "You."
For a few seconds the car is filled with nothing but our own heartbeats and breaths, Elle's eyes not shying away from mine. All I can wonder is if I mean as much to her as she does to me, but I know now was not the right moment to ask anything like that.
I watch as a genuine smile spreads from one side of her face to the other and to my surprise some words actually stumble from her lips.
"Now."
"Now?" I remark, wondering what she could possibly mean.
She just nods, leading me to believe that I should know what she meant. My mind is running at high speed, going through all the conversations we shared over the past few weeks, but nothing comes up. Before I can open my mouth again, she shakes her head smiling.
"With that, I mean, that you earned yourself the right to call me Cherry." She mumbles, a smile still adherent on her lips. "I hope you remember when you asked me, how you could earn it, otherwise it would be quite awkward now."
"No, yeah of course I do," I whisper, a smile now taking over.
It feels good to have her talking this much to me after what must have happened. But I also don't want her to act like everything is fine when it clearly isn't. Unfortunately, it's a trait that I've already picked up on, knowing she doesn't like to talk about things that make her uncomfortable and I wouldn't push her to do just that.
"Let's get you inside now, what do you think my little Cherry blossom?"
She nods affirmative, another smile spreading on her lips as she realises the nickname I gave her. Quickly, I get out the door and head around the car to open hers for her. She reaches out for my hand, taking hold of it so I could help her out. I take a sleepy Blue off her arms so she can concentrate on steadying herself.
"Can you walk?"
"Yes, I think I'm fine, thanks, Harry." I let go of her arm to quickly grab her bag out of the trunk before we head inside.
I get her situated on the couch, placing Blue next to her and an ice bag on the already swollen part of her face. For the first time tonight, I have enough time to let my eyes glide across her body, the extent of her injuries only becoming visible to me now, with enough light shining through the room.
Her t-shirt is ripped in two, my head making up the scenario as to what could have happened, but my heart not wanting to believe it. There are cuts on various parts of her body, accompanied by blood tinting her clothes in a scarlet colour. My eyes glide up to her face, noticing strangulation marks around her neck, that leave my heart sinking into my chest and my stomach wanting to get rid of last night's dinner. She looks downright horrible. And I can't help but let the rage come back up, wanting to just storm out of the room and give Ben what he deserves. It takes everything from me to stay right here instead.
"Don't look at me like that." Elle's mumbling pulls me back into reality.
"I'm sorry, it's just..." I take a deep breath before I continue, "I-I just can't believe what he's done to you."
"It's not as bad as it looks, Harry. I'm fine. I'm still here."
A huff escapes my lips at the thought that this could very well not be the case, but before I can say something I might regret later the sound of my phone disturbs the silence. The doctor must be waiting to be let in.
"I'll be back in a sec," I mumble making my way to the door to let him inside.
I greet him, my arm pointing towards the living room, where Elle is already waiting. At first, I cautiously take place at the door watching everything from afar but once the doctor gets to the more uncomfortable questions I decided that it might be better if I leave for a while.
"I'm just going to get you a fresh pair of clothes," I mumble, awaiting Elle's sign to be sure that it was okay for her.
Once I see her sending me a soft nod I make my way into the bedroom, opening up the closet to see if I could find a change of clothing for her. I purposely try and take my time not wanting to make Elle uncomfortable with me being there, but when I walk down the stairs and turn around the corner, I only see Elle, still patiently sitting on my brown leather sofa.
"Is he... done already? Is everything okay?" I ask softly walking towards her in slow steps.
She nods, but her eyes are chained to the floor. "Yes, he stitched me up and checked if there's anything else, but he said it's all good." Her voice is quiet, making me realise that something is off.
It only takes me a few steps to close the gap between us. Gently my hand reaches out for her face, my fingers tilting it upwards so I could see her eyes.
"Are you okay, Cherry?"
For the first time, I asked her what I wanted to know all along. But I'm not sure I actually want to hear her answer.
"No." Our eyes meet, the pain clearly visible in them. "But I will be."
"Can I give you some advice, love?" As she nods a tear rolls down her cheek, my finger reaching out to carefully trace its path.
"It's okay to fall apart sometimes. Cherry blossoms aren't meant to be blooming all the time."
Her eyes tear up more but I continue speaking, knowing this may just be what she needs to hear. "You don't have to always keep it together. It's okay to be hurt and sad and let out all of the emotions that you're feeling right now. It's okay to feel it all even when it's too much. It's what makes you human. And sometimes it's necessary to fall apart before you can pick your pieces back up, learn from it and move on with your life."
At first, it's only one tear, racing down her cheek, but soon more find the way out of her eyes, a sob suddenly leaving her lips. I quickly reach out to take her into my arms, the comforting floral scent moving in around me.
"It's okay. I'm here. I got you." She nods into my shoulders, my arms holding on tightly until she is ready to let go.
Once her sobbing subsides and her head is lifted from my body I help her get up. "Let's get you to bed, yeah?"
We reach the guest bedroom, the clothes I picked out earlier neatly folded and placed on the bed.
"If you like you can have a shower before you go to bed. But whatever you feel like love." I whisper as I watch her walk towards the bed.
"Thanks. That would be nice, Harry."
"Of course."
She disappears into the bathroom and I sit down on the bed wanting to make sure she's all fine before I leave. My thoughts go straight back to Ben, while she's gone, wondering where he went and why he left. And I know for a fact that I would do anything in my power to keep him as far away from Elle as possible, as well as give him what he deserves. He can't just get away with this. I couldn't let him.
"Remember when you said that everything's going to be fine?" Elle's voice pulls me back into the reality, as she sits down beside me. "Do you still believe that Harry? That everything's going to be alright?"
"I do," I answer without hesitation.
"H-how do you know that?" Her voice is croaky and unsteady, tears welling up in her eyes, again.
"Because I just know. And if not I will make sure that everything's going to be just fine." My hand reaches out to help her crawl into bed and tuck her in.
"I promise," I mumble placing a quick kiss on the top of her head before I slowly back away from her. "Now try and get some sleep, love."
Before I can close the door completely, Elle stops me in my tracks. "Harry?" She whisper-yells leading me to step back into the doorframe.
"Yeah?"
"C-can you stay w-with me?" A smile starts adorning my lips as I make my way to the bed, crawling in and laying down beside her.
My arms reach around her, her body snuggling into mine, fitting so effortlessly that you could think they were made for just this. I lower my head into her hair, breathing in the soft floral scent that surrounds me.
My hand takes a gentle hold of hers, giving it a light squeeze before I lean in to whisper into her ear, "always."
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