Desean P.O.V
I sat up quickly in my bed feeling around my chest as I breathed in and out harshly. I have that same dream of me getting shot at LEAST once a week. I hate that shit. I sighed getting out of my bed and walking to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror sighing again feeling my throat get tight. Fuck am I about to cry for? Man that dream was scary.
"F-Fuck," whispered, sitting down on the floor in my bathroom, putting my head into my legs as I started to cry. Ever since that day, my anxiety and panic attacks have been horrible. That's was some traumatic shit and I definitely was feeling it. I sat up feeling around my chest, frantically pulling my shirt off and looking in the mirror at it. He fucking shot me, they fucking shot me man.
"M-Micah!," I yelled sitting back on the floor crying. I got shot and he just left me. I guess my parents were right. "Micah! Please...,"
I can still feel them going through me sometimes. I can feel my body hitting the ground and me choking on my own blood. I can see the fear in Micah's eyes. I can see my life slipping away.
"Desean?," I heard Micah's tired voice call out to me as he walked into my bedroom.
"Micah," I cried out, sitting in the floor still crying and shaking.
"Fuck man," He sighed walking over to me and sitting on the floor with me.
"You had another bad dream?," He asked me, pulling me into him making me lay my head on his shoulder.
"Yea," I whimpered crying and holding on to his shirt.
"Just breathe for me man I gotchu and I'm here ok? Take some deep breaths for me," he told me rubbing my head and my back as I cried into his shoulder.
"I-I can't," I told him gripping his shirt tighter.
"Desean, you can breathe. You know how to breathe, you're just panicking right now and you know that man. Just breathe in and hold it then breathe out like this," He told me demonstrating how to breathe. I looked at him watching what he was doing and tried to do it too.
"He s-shot m-me," I stuttered looking at him.
"You're not shot right now. You had a bad dream and your mind is just making you feel it. I promise you're ok. Come here stand up," He told me, standing up and bringing me with him.
We walked over to my mirror and made me stand in front of it.
"There's no blood or anything. You're not hurt and I promise I won't let anything else happen to you. It was just a bad dream. I have them too sometimes about that night. They feel so real, but once I realize I'm in my room and it was dream, I feel a lot better because I know it's not real. Just like this. We both know it was just a dream. And you said you can't breathe but you're listening to me right now and you're breathing," He spoke wiping my tears away.
I guess I was breathing. What would I do without my best-friend?
"Come on," He told me, walking with me out of my bathroom. We walked over to my bed and he helped me get in. He then walked around toy he other side. "I'm sleepy as fuck and I'm not walking back yo my room. Besides, you were gonna follow me to my room and sleep with me anyway like you always do after an attack, so I'm a save us both some time,"
I chuckled slightly at that because it was true. I slept with my best friend when I had bad days. It made me feel like I wasn't so alone.
"Good night. I love you," Micah spoke, getting comfortable and sighing.
"Good night Micah. I love you too," I told him getting comfortable myself.
Hopefully I didn't have another bad dream.
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"I-I'm gonna be late Keon," I told him as he kissed me neck and hand his hand in my pants. He was slowly pushing his fingers in and out of me and had me almost about to say fuck this class. "Keoooooon,"
"What De? We can't just have a little bit of fun?," Keon asking me, brushing up against my spot, while sucking harder on my neck. Oh fuck me.
"It's n-never a little bit of f-fun with you," I replied, panting slightly as I reached my peak.
"You cumming for me baby? Do it baby. Cum for me," He coached me as I released into his other hand, that was now in my shorts.
"F-Fuck. Can I go now?," I asked him in hopes he didn't start shit with me. I was not trying to be late for this class.
"Mhm. I'll see you later right?," He spoke leaning down and kissing me.
"Yes, I'll see you later, but I really have to go," I told him hurrying out the room.
"Yo Desean, you going to class?," I heard Micah ask me as I walked out the door.
"Yep, you need a ride?," I asked him walking to my car as he followed me.
"Yea, I gotta take my car to the shop and I don't feel like taking the bus or calling an Uber. This ride is free right?," He asked me jokingly getting into the car with me.
"Yes it's free, dummy," I replied starting up the car.
"Alright bet," He spoke with a smile like he didn't already know I wasn't going to charge him.
"Annoying," I mumbled laughing a bit.
"Desean? Are you alright?," He asked me as I headed towards the campus.
"Yea I'm fine Micah. Thank you for last night and every other night you've been there when I've had a panic attack," I told him stopping at a red light.
"Well yea man, but just so we clear, I only help you so I can go back to sleep and not hear yo yelling," He spoke, trying to dodge me as I tried to hit him.
"You're always being a dick. I was having a moment with my bestie and you ruined it," I laughed looking over at him.
"Nah but seriously though, you don't have to thank me Desean. I'm Im your best friend. It's literally my job to look out for you. That's what I'm here for," Micah spoke giving me a small smile. "Alright now turn on some manly macho ass music. I'm about to throw up from all this mushy shit,"
"Whatever," I responded chuckling and finding something to listen too.
Once we arrived at the campus, I dropped him off at his building, before taking the short drive over to mine. I'm not late. Yes!
I hurried out of my car and made my way inside the building and to my class.
I hope this goes by fast.
_____________________________________
"Yes mom, we're on our way now," I told my mother as I talked to her through the speaker of my car. We were supposed to be having a dinner and she was calling to make sure I was on my way. I had already texted her and told her that I was, but for whatever reason she I sister that we spoke on the phone.
"Are you bringing Keon?,"
"No mom, he has football practice and work tonight so it's just Micah and I,"
"How far are you?,"
"I'm not that far mom, but we still have to stop at the store. Look someone else is calling me. I'll call you back," I told her hanging up the phone.
"Ooooooo, I'm teeeeeelling,"Micah dragged out childishly, as we pulled into the Walmart parking lot.
"Shit tell. I don't even care," I told him shrugging and getting out of my car walking to the front.
"Well it's no fun in snitching if you don't care," He pouted walking with me. Whatever.
We walked in and to the pop isle, grabbing a few 2 liters that we wanted. After grabbing them and a few other snacks, we walked to self checkout line to pay. It was kind of a long line. This was gonna take a while.
"D-Desean?," I heard that familiar voice call out to me, as I stood in line. I looked over slowly to see him standing there, staring at me. Micah looked over at him too, in shock before talking.
"Marcus?! Shit man it's been years," He spoke looking at him.
"Yea it has, how have you been?," He asked Micah as I started to get irritated.
"Micah, let's go. We can get this shit from a liquor store," I told him sitting my drink down.
"Desean, I'm not trying to upset you. I just saw you and figured I'd say hi," Marcus told me walking closer.
"BACK the fuck up yo. I don't need you to say shit to me at all. Not even sorry. It's fuck you, and it always will be. Micah let's go," I said in a loud tone walking away from them before they even had a chance to say anything else.
"You good?," Micah asked me as we neared my car. "Want me to drive?,"
I threw my keys to him without even responding, hopping in the passenger seat.
"At least we know he's not dead," Micah tried, letting out a nervous and uncomfortable laugh.
" I could care less," I said to him rolling my eyes.
"You don't mean that," He replied looking over at me.
"Shit why don't I? He left me on my death bed, so why would I care about what happens to him, especially four years later?," I asked him scrunching up my face.
"Alright, my bad," He retreated, holding up one hand in defense.
Fuck that nigga. Talking to me like you care or some shit,
FUCK HIM.
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"Yes I have a job dad, no I haven't been fired and yes my grades are good," I answered my parents questions.
"How are you and Keon doing?," She asked me and right on cue my phone went off.
From "Key🔐🤍,"
I hope you're having a good day.
To "Key🔐🤍,"
What do you want?
From "Key🔐🤍,"
I can't just tell my boyfriend I
I hope he's having a good day??
That's fucking crazy🙄
Lemme get a doggy bag tho👀🥹
I chuckled reading the message only to feel my phone be snatched out of my hand by my father, locked and put in his pocket.
"We're at the dinner table, show some respect," My father told me, sitting down next to my mother.
"I'm an adult dad and I was texting Keon back. You know my boyfriend?," I replied rolling my eyes at him.
"You're barely and adult, and in this house you follow my rules or either you can go," He retorted, looking at me like he dared me to say something. He's already pissing me off.
"What is your GPA?," my mother asked me, as we starting to put food on our plates.
"It's a 3.9," I told her, fixing my plate and then grabbing myself some napkins.
"Only a 3.9? Why is not a 4.0 or higher? Is that boy distracting you? Maybe you need to be back home with you have no distractions. I refuse to have a son who isn't at the top of his class. That's not even enough to make you the valedictorian," She replied shaking her head. Can they just be happy for me? Like at least I'm not failing.
"Once you get to dental school, how good would that look if you were at the top of your class? You can get into any school you want. You should always strive for the top. There's no excuse why you don't have a 3.9," My father co-signed.
"I mean a 3.9 is darn near a 4.0, and that really impressive. To even get that in college is insane because there's so much you have to focus on. I wish I had a 3.9, but I'm not smart like him. He's doing good," Micah spoke defending me as he ate some of his food.
"Well maybe if you had parents that actually cared about you and spent time to make sure you were on your shit you would have better grades sweetie. Sorry but it's no secret your parents aren't heavily involved in your life and have never been," My mother spoke with a chuckle making Micah set his fork down and slowly nod his head.
"Ma, why would you say that to him?," I questioned her irritated. If it was one thing I knew about Micah, it was that his family was a tough topic for him. His parents were worst than mine. They don't talk at all now. When he was living with him, they were always gone or working and never spent any time with him and when stuff happened to him that was important, they never showed any interest. He raised himself basically. It was sad but true.
Maybe that's why he was such a good roommate, he was already used to taking care of himself.
"Don't question me. I said what I said and it's true," She replied.
"The way you said it mom. That's not something you just say," I told her looking over at Micah as he took a sip of his drink.
"Since when do you tell your mother how to speak? You're acting like it's not true. He's been raising himself with no one to really get him on his shit and his parents are out doing god knows what, it's no wonder his grades aren't like they should be," My father spoke making Micah clear his throat.
"I actually have a lot of homework to do so can we go Desean?," Micah spoke not even looking at me.
"Uh, sure yea let's go," I told him walking tot he kitchen and packing up some food.
"I'll see you guys, bye," I told my parents as we walked to my car.
"Mhm, that GPA better be a 4.0 or higher next time we see you," My mother spoke watching us leave.
I didn't respond, and got into my car starting it up and looking over at Micah.
"I'm sorry about them Micah," I told him feeling bad about how quiet he was.
"I mean, it's not your fault Desean. They're right though, it's just a soft spot for me," He spoke shrugging.
My parents always ruin everything.