Marshall's P.O.V.
There are now like two weeks left until Mel moves to New York with Lyric.
She's put her house here in Detroit up for sale, and she apparently already has a place in New York.
I try not to get pissed about this, but sometimes I am.
There are days when I swear to fuck, I just wanna tear her apart for doing this, but I know I ain't got no room to say shit to her about it. I remind myself every day about what I said to her when she broke the news to me about her leaving. I've meant everything I've said to her that day too, but it's still fucking hard for me. But I get it, she just wants to be happy.
Some asshole once said if you love something let it go. Or some other dumb shit like that. Honestly, I wonder if the motherfucker that said that had ever loved anything in his life, but fuck it, let me follow that advice.
You know, I sat for a few days and I thought of all kinds of ways I could try to stop Mel from moving, but I don't think Imma do any of that, it would just make her despise me more. The thing is, I don't want Mel to hate me anymore than she already does, it's fucking killing me that she hates me now.
Fuck me, but the only thing left for me right now is to throw myself into work like I always do.
Might as well, considering that my last album has received some criticism from both critics and the fans, and I can honestly see why. I was fucking high out of my mind back when I've done some of the songs on it, but I honestly still don't think it was all that bad. It just was maybe a little inconsistent? Then again, inconsistent is pretty damn bad. Especially for me.
So I was gonna follow it up with something else real quick, but then it suddenly hit me that I wanna just take a break and focus on producing music for other artists for the next couple years or so, so Proof and I have been looking into that a lot lately.
Obie and 50 are both doing real good, and now I want to maybe find a new artist to sign to my label.
In the meantime, I could also do some features on other people's shit, but I don't know when imma record something of my own, as I am feeling kind of burned out lately. Don't really know what it is, but I guess I do need a break. I've said that before, and now I'm even more sure of it. Not saying I'm retiring but I just... I don't know man.
Proof, Denaun, Bizarre, Kuniva and Swifty are all here with me tonight in my studio in the basement, helping out like they always do.
We work and we goof around, and it's just like being on stage with them.
Especially Proof. Proof truly is my fucking crutch at times.
"So what you think?" I ask him.
"I think go with this beat, doody," Proof replies. "And let this nigga right here rap over it," he picks out a demo tape.
"Yeah, I was thinking that too."
"We should put Fifty on this compilation CD too," Proof suggests.
"Yeah, for sure."
"What about Dre? What he say about all this?"
"He says it's dope."
We continue to work on the music, when Alaina suddenly walks in, dragging Lyric behind her by her hand.
Mel has finally trusted me enough, for the first time in months, to keep Lyric for the weekend, as long as I don't get high around her. She's gonna be picking her up in a few hours though.
"What is it, baby girl?" I ask Alaina curiously. I coulda swore the little ones were all taking a nap right now while Alaina watched them, which was why I was in the basement working on music. If I knew Lyric was up, I would rather spend time with her, especially since her mother is about to come pick her up soon enough.
"Dad, she was trying to take out her braids again," Alaina says, pushing Lyric in front of her, and I just groan.
"Not again baby! Please don't do this to me, your mommy would literally kill me!"
"I'm sorry, daddy," Lyric says looking at her feet.
I guess it is a good thing Mel has to pick her up soon anyway, so she doesn't have to come here just to fix her hair. She damn near took my head off last time something like this happened.
Proof can't help but laugh his ass off behind me, and I honestly don't find this shit funny at all so I give him a dead glare.
"Yo you really don't realize why she be doing this?" He then asks me.
"Nah, but fucking enlighten me, since you obviously do know something I don't," I say evilly, eyeing my daughter's half braided head.
"Lyric," Proof says softly to her. "Tell your father what you said to me the other day."
"Uncle Deshaun, you promised!!" She stumps her feet in frustration in return, and I swear to fucking God, she looks just like her momma when she does this.
"I promised not to tell on you, baby girl," Proof replies amusingly, "And I haven't. So just tell your father yourself, would you?"
"What is it, baby?" I ask Lyric patiently, trying to hide my exasperation. This girl would be the death of me, I swear. Just like her damn mother.
"Daddy, you won't be mad at me?" Lyric asks me then innocently, and I melt. I swear to fucking God, all four of these little girls know exactly how to wrap me around their fingers.
"Nah, baby," I reply.
Lyric stares at her feet and speaks.
"I take braids out cause I know mommy will come fix my hair. Then you and mommy will see each other."
For crying out loud!!
I don't even know what to say to that, and Proof just chuckles behind me, like that shit is funny.
"Is that what you want, baby?" I ask Lyric quietly, looking at Alaina too.
"Yeah," says Lyric and smiles widely. I swear, kids are just way too fucking innocent for their own good, at the same time, they pick up on a lot more stuff than we ever get them credit for.
"What about you?" I ask Alaina.
"I just want you to be happy, dad," my oldest says. "I don't care of it's with mom or Melody, I just want you to be happy."
Well, ain't that nice.
"Do you love mommy?" Lyric then asks me innocently and that just breaks me.
Does she even know what love is? No. Too young for that, but still she's asking me that question.
"Of course I love mommy, baby. But don't tell your mommy I said that."
"Why?" She blinks, looking just like me when she does that.
"Because your mommy would be upset with me," I simply say.
"Okay," Lyric nods.
See, if only her mother was this damn easy to deal with, I swear!!
"Alaina, take Lyric back upstairs, aight," I say. "And Lyric, please don't take out your braids again, cause that won't make mommy love daddy again, that would make mommy very mad at him actually. Now go on, imma be up there with you soon."
I watch my girls make the way out of the studio, then turn to Proof.
"Yo what the fuck is this shit, dawg? Fuck imma do with this?! Even Lyric wants me to get back together with Mel, but Mel fucking hates my guts. And she's about to move to New York in two weeks."
"No shit, that's what happens when you mess up," doody replies. "You know you brought this on yourself, right?"
"I fucking know!!" I groan. "But what the hell am I supposed to do about it now?!"
"You really wanna know?" Proof asks me seriously.
"Yeah."
"Leave that girl the fuck alone dawg, and stop crowding her like you always do."
"I ain't..." I start to say, but Proof just gives me that look and I shut the fuck up.
"You know damn well that you do, dawg," he says. "You don't even let that girl breathe. You be like..."
"'Melody, I looooove you. But if you fuck another dude I would kill ya!'" Bizarre suddenly jumps in, mocking me in what I guess he assumes my voice sounds like.
"'Mel, please just come back to me. I know I fucked up, but it's my bad, baby,'" Denaun joins in, speaking in this annoying nasal sounding voice.
Suddenly, all of them join in, and they all start mocking me and I could honestly kill them all right now.
"Shut the fuck up y'all, I don't even sound like that," I brush them off.
"You do though, Slim, you do," Proof says. "And let me tell you something. You keep trying to handle this girl the same exact way you've handled Kim before. But who'd it work out for you and Kim? Exactly. Do you want it to work out the same way with you and Melody?"
"Of course not, dawg."
"Then you gotta figure out a different approach man."
"And how's that supposed to be like?"
"Fuck if I know, dawg. But just... leave her alone for now, you idiot. Stop trying to pressure her to come to you and just let her come to you on her own."
I have no idea what he means by that, but I just nod my head anyway. I do know that Proof always has my best interest at heart, so I need to just listen to him.
Melody comes over a few hours later and picks up Lyric, fussing at her for messing up her hair.
The guys and I end up hanging out until late at night, then the guys all start to head home one by one.
Proof is the last to leave.
He's apparently on his way now to some club to hang out with some old highschool buddies of his, they are all gonna play pool or something.
"You sure you don't wanna come chill with us?" Proof asks me. "Might do you some good to just hang out tonight."
"Nah, I'm good dawg," I reply. I was thinking about calling Betty to watch the girls tonight and go out, but I honestly don't feel like it tonight. I just wanna pop pills and stay in for the rest of the night. Make up for the fact that Mel forced me to stay sober for the whole weekend just so I could be around Lyric. Good thing that Kim could give a fuck less whether I do that around the kids or not, as long as they are well and fed.
"Aight imma see you later man, be easy," Proof says.
We hug and he leaves, and I spend the rest of the night just watching some crap on TV and getting high.
I end-up falling asleep right on that couch in front of the TV too, having fallen asleep in a really uncomfortable position, I guess, because when I do wake up, my whole body, especially my neck, feels really sore.
That's not what wakes me up though.
It's the obnoxiously loud ringing of my house phone.
I look around, feeling disoriented as hell.
It's still somewhat dark in the room, but I can tell it's sometime in the early morning.
I curse to myself, make my way to the phone and snatch it up, just to shut down the loud ass ringing.
"Yo?"
The person on the other end of the line says something to me then, and what they are saying honestly doesn't make any goddamn sense to me.
Simply because it can't possibly be true.
Nah man, no way in hell.
"What?!" I manage to get out, and my voice doesn't even sound like my own voice to me.
They repeat themselves again.
But the words are still not making any sense to me, and I refuse to accept them.
Because what the person at the other end of the line is telling me is that Proof was shot last night at that club he went to, and that he's in a hospital in critical condition. And they don't think he's going to make it.