I'm exhausted, so instead of working on one of my assignments, I'm writing this to try and relax my mind, I guess. But, I don't know how much that will work considering this one is kind of sad.
So, angst?
Also, there might be a small trigger for suicidal thoughts?
Narrator's POV.
"What?" Emma asked again baffled by the news she received. "You have got to be kidding me right now." She shakes her head still not believing what she just heard.
"We're sorry but you are suspended from any school activity for however long this might take." The officer in front of her told her once again.
"But it's not true. The allegations are not true." She pleased.
"Sorry, Miss, but this is the procedure." The same man says, not a single ounce of sympathy in his voice.
She can't believe what's happening.
"But I'm innocent!" Emma says once again. "Please tell me that you believe me." She turns around and asks the director who is also one of her close friends from this school.
But the school director kept her mouth shut and averted her gaze to the floor.
"If you are innocent then there won't be a problem for you to give us all of your devices, such as phone, laptop, and tablet if you have one of those. Also, be under strict surveillance for the next few weeks." The officer lists and without waiting for her approval, he grabs the laptop bag she had hung over her shoulder and the phone in her hands. "These will be returned to you after our team searches them."
He then goes off to list all of the things she is and isn't allowed to do while the investigation is running. There were more things that she wasn't permitted to do than the ones she could.
"Another thing." The officer turned back remembering something. "You are now on the temporary sex offenders list." And with that, he left.
"I want your things out of your desk by the end of the hour." The director told her before turning around and closing the door in her face.
What the fuck is going on? Emma thinks and looks around still trying to process what has been thrown in her face in the last hour.
While on autopilot, she clears her desk while her mind replays the events.
Someone gave an anonymous tip to the police that Emma is having inappropriate relationships with at least one of her students. And the law enforcement quickly came and acted on it thus the running investigation.
The accusations are straight-up bullshit because Emma has never looked at any of her students like that. She never even dared to hug them in case the students were uncomfortable.
She always thought she was a loved teacher. She tried to listen to the students and really help them, not only say she would. She put in extra work to make sure everyone felt comfortable in her class, and that they all understood what she was teaching. Like, properly understood, so they don't forget the lesson as soon as they are out of the classroom, or the test was given to be revised. She tried to make a safe space for all of her students.
She even took time out of her own, unpaid one, to stay after school and tutor the students who were struggling and needed a hand.
But she was never alone with just one student, scared that other students will say that she's favoring that one or that there might be something going on between them. She never wanted allegations like this to be made.
And yet, here she was.
Forced to clear her desk, to stay away from the school, to have her belongings searched over, to be surveyed for god knows how long. And the list keeps on going on.
But most importantly, she never thought she will be on the 'sex offenders list'. Even if it was the temporary one, it was still damaging her career and most probably, her future too.
When she was done, she picked up her box and kept her head downcasted while getting out of the school.
She heard students yelling and shouting for her to stay for a bit so they could talk. Some shouted their admiration for her or wished her strength throughout this investigation.
Emma just kept her head down and kept on walking to the car.
She feels ashamed of the situation she's got herself into. She feels hurt that someone took her want and devotion to helping teenagers learn something in this goddamn world as her sleeping with minors.
She doesn't dare make eye contact with any of the students that are watching her from the windows. She feels like she has failed them.
And that's something she won't ever forget or forgive herself for.
Emma opens the backseat door of her car and carefully puts the box down before wiping the lone tear on her cheek. She quickly closes the door and gets into the driver's seat to get away from this school.
She's not allowed to come close to it in the upcoming future.
And that, for someone who loves teaching as much as she does, it's heartbreaking.
When Emma gets home, she stores the box with her school stuff in the attic knowing that if she were to see it while this whole fiasco is happening, it will make her feel even worse. Especially since it consists of stuff her students did for her. Such as handmade cards, bracelets, or notes for 'the greatest teacher in history'.
She's left to cry in the comfort of her own home.
By the late afternoon, a couple of police officers are back at her home to take her statements once again, and to give her her phone. They were not done searching her laptop yet.
They might have given her the phone back, but she knew it was bugged already. In case she was to contact one of her students or someone minor, they will be at her door bringing her to the police station.
What she didn't expect was for the case to make it to the news.
She knew she was even more fucked as soon as opened her tv and she saw the same officer from earlier at school talking with the news people and telling them there was currently an investigation going to see if she was innocent or not.
This was officially the worst day of her life.
When she heard keys turning the lock she instantly perked up hoping her girlfriend will be there to offer a shoulder to cry on while reassuring Emma that things will be okay.
Emma is innocent and it's a matter of time before everyone finds that out.
"Hi." Emma says and sits up from her lying position on the couch.
When she met the brown eyes of her girlfriend, she knew something was up. That made her get up from the bed.
"We have to talk." Jo says.
"Oh, okay." Emma responds and waits for her girlfriend to say what she wants to say.
"I want to break up with you." Jo says with a final tone in her voice.
Another punch to her heart.
"What?" She can't help but feel confused as to where this was coming from.
They were strong. They talked about moving in together and possibly starting a family.
"I can't be associated with you." Jo turned her head to avoid looking at her now ex-girlfriend.
"What?" Emma asks again, so hurt and shocked that she can't say other words.
"Things are going to shit right now. I can't be seen with you. My record would also be stained and I can't afford that with the new promotion coming for me and everything." Jo says while playing with the keychain in her hands.
"But this is going to be over in a few weeks. Things will go back to normal after that." Emma plead.
"Will they, though?" Jo retorted.
"Excuse me?" Emma asks, this time offended.
"For all I know, the allegations could be true." The brown-eyed woman in front of her shrugs.
"You don't actually believe that, do you?" Emma's hurt was heard in the question, but the person that once claimed to love her for everything she is, chooses not to acknowledge it.
"You spend so much time at the school, even after hours. Who knows what you were up to? Maybe it's a good thing this investigation took place." Jo scowls at her.
"It's like I don't even know who you are." Emma responds while clenching her jaw.
"And looks like I don't know who you are either." Her ex is quick to throw back.
Emma remains still, not knowing what to do now. What can you even do in situations like these?
"I'll come to drop your stuff off tomorrow, and also pack my things from here. It would be better if you were not around for that." Jo says and makes a move to leave.
"That's it? That's the end of us?" Emma asks frustrated.
"Yeah. I don't want to be in a relationship with a pervert anymore." Jo says and leaves the house.
Emma is left to lean against the couch in hopes of catching her breath and stopping her heart from breaking too much.
Just like that, her long-term relationship just went down the drain.
All of the memories and all of the promises mean nothing now. Just a bitter reminder of how things were.
"Fuck!" She screams and turns around to punch one of the pillows from the couch.
How can the things that she worked so hard for stumble into pieces in a matter of minutes?
Her career is over, her relationship is ruined. She doesn't think she survive another thing happening to her.
But as they say, bad things come in threes.
When her phone started vibrating with notifications, she dragged her hands over her now tear-stained face and looked to see what was going on.
A part of her was hoping for one of her friends to tell her that they are there for her. That they believe she's innocent and still love her just as much.
She needs someone in her corner to help her carry the pain with her until she will get strong enough to do it on her own.
Just one person is enough.
She feels like she's slowly losing grasp on everything that is happening around her. The world is slowly falling apart and she doesn't know for how long she'll manage to keep on fighting. Especially when everyone is fighting against her.
Mom
'How could you do that?'
'I thought we raised you better than that...'
'You're such a disappointment. I'm ashamed to be called your mother.'
'How Emma? How?'
'I think it will be better if you don't show your face around here for a while.'
'No daughter of mine was raised to do such disgusted and perverted acts. Such a disgrace you turned out to be.'
'Your cousin doesn't want you at the wedding anymore. He's scared of what you'll do to his fiancee's daughter. In all fairness.'
'I can't call you my daughter anymore.'
'Thank you for ruining the family name.'
Dad
'I told your mother something was wrong with you but she never believed me. Now, look at the way you turned out.'
'At least my cousin went to jail for theft and not for pedophilia.'
'You deserve to be put behind bars and rot in jail, you sick psycho.'
'You deserve to be stoned to death by all of the victims' families.'
'If I see your face on the street I will punch it until I distort it so bad you won't have our features anymore.'
'Should've given you to the adoption center when I had the chance.'
Sestra
'Really, Emma? This is what you're doing now?'
'I'm disgusted to be called your family.'
'Stay away from me and my kids you pervert.'
'You don't deserve love for what you did.'
Kiki the coolest cousin
'I am shocked.'
'But most importantly, I am disgusted.'
'And to think I thought you were the cool one...'
Soon to be married-Cas
'I'm sorry but you are uninvited from the wedding.'
'I think it will be best for everyone if you kept your distance.'
My best bitch
'WHAT THE FUCK EMMA????'
'HOW COULD YOU?'
And the messages kept on pouring from more people now, but Emma had enough and finally closed the phone.
Definitely the worst day in history.
Her knees had finally had enough and she stumbled onto the carpet while one of her hands went to her mouth to muffle the heart-wrenching sob she just let out.
Her life is crumbling to pieces and she has no one to count on. She's all alone after everyone she knew turned their backs on her.
For a moment she lets herself violently cry at everything that has happened in the last twelve hours, completely ignoring her health and weak heart. The doctor told her to try and live as calmly as a life she could. She has a rare condition that makes her heart literally hurt if she's in distress.
But she can't bring herself to care about that right now. Not when her life did a one-eighty turn to the worst. Everyone that she thought might be there to support her and have her back are suddenly non-existent.
After a few hours of crying, Emma leans against the couch and presses her hand to her chest hardly. Her heart has been beating like crazy this whole day, and now she's in more pain than she thought she could be in.
She's in so much pain that she faints, in fact.
But when she wakes up in the morning, she hopes for everything to be just a nightmare. For everything that had happened to be just a mere creation of her exhausted mind.
One look around her proves that one of her worst nightmares it's actually her reality now. A reality she's forced to live in.
She can't make herself get up from the ground as much as she wishes to. Despite knowing she needs to eat and take her medicine, she doesn't make a move to take care of her health.
What even is the point?
She doesn't have a thing in her life that's worth living for anymore.
Emma doesn't move the whole day from the ground, except when she checks the time and knows her ex finished work and will come to pack her things.
She hides her phone, and herself in the guest bathroom and silently cries while listening to one of the people she loved the most in this entire world pack her things and leave Emma's heart for good.
She thinks about ending it all for good. And she almost does it.
But while trying to keep herself underneath the water, she chickens out and resurfaces to take in some big breaths of air.
A few days pass and Emma feels as if she hit a new time low.
No update on the case was made, and it's not like it even matters at this point.
She's still getting hateful messages from her family, but now add death threats from people online. From families of her school's students to random people online.
While she was out buying some necessities, she saw some cigarettes and bought a pack despite her not being a smoker and hating everything to do with it.
That night, she also took some money with her and went to the nearest bar she could find.
It was almost empty considering it was a week's day and most people were home after a long day at work.
"What's the hardest alcohol you offer?" Emma asked while taking a seat on the barstool.
The lady raised an eyebrow at her before responding. "This brand of rum." She turns around and places the bottle on the countertop.
"Give me a glass of it, please." Emma says and drops some money on the counter. "In fact, make sure the glass is always full." She adds while putting some more money on the counter.
"Tough day?" The bartender asks while pouring her a glass.
"Tough week, more like." Emma muttered and quickly takes a huge gulp of the hard liquor.
"You know what they say about bartenders, we're always here to listen." The lady hints.
"Nah, I wouldn't want to bore you with my tragic week." Emma shakes her head, her gaze still on the glass.
She's become so scared to even look people in the eye in case they think she's perverting on them, or something.
"It's a slow night." The bartender shrugs and fills her glass back up. "Let me guess." She says after a while. "It is something to do with heartbreak."
"Amongst other things." Emma nods and takes another drink of the alcohol.
"What did they do?" The lady asks while putting her arms on the counter and leaning closer to listen to Emma.
"Got away from me before her life would be dragged into Hell too." Emma responded not looking at the woman.
"Why would her life be dragged into Hell?" She asks confused.
"Because she'll be associated with me." Emma mutters and downs the liquid from the glass.
"You don't seem that bad." The lady is quick to refill the glass before returning to her previous position.
"Would I be on the 'temporary sex offenders' list if I wasn't bad?" Emma scoffs and continues to drink.
"I don't believe that." The redhead shakes her head. "What did you do?"
"Nothing, that's the thing." She responds and her grip on the glass tightens.
"Then how come you're on that list?" The lady behind the bar continues her interrogation.
"Some anonymous person said that I'm having intimate relationships with my students." Emma scoffed again. "And now I got police looking at my every move and investigating me."
"Did they find out who said it?" The bartender furrows her eyebrows.
"Nope." She shakes her head. "I have no idea how the investigation is going, for all I know they could come here in the next few hours and put me behind bars without evidence. Or who knows, someone might have fabricated something and I'll be deemed as guilty." Emma starts to ramble, the alcohol starting its effect on her.
"That's really fucked up." The lady says with indignation.
"Tell me about it." She lets out a bittersweet laugh before finishing her drink once again.
"I don't believe you would do something like that." The lady in front of her is the first and only person to believe in her innocence.
Emma shrugs in response, already over the whole thing. She's already accepted that she might go to jail.
"What made someone think you would do that?" The redhead leaned even closer to her, analyzing her.
But Emma hadn't looked at her, not even once.
"So, I'm a teacher." She quickly stops and takes a deep breath. "I was a teacher." She swallows the lump in her throat. "And I've always loved my students. I tried my best to actually teach them stuff and make sure they remember it for longer than five minutes. I always tried to make a safe environment for them in my class. I actually listened when they were sharing stuff with me. I even stayed at school more tutoring the ones that really needed help. Like the ones that had troubles at home and couldn't get work done there, they always had a place in my class. The ones that couldn't understand stuff from the first time. Everyone was welcome in my class. I always had students in my class after school was over for the day, even students who just wanted to just chill in the quiet room and hang out with friends or read something, showed up in my class." Emma remembered with a hurt smile on her face. "I thought I was doing such a great job at being a teacher but the fact that someone took that as me sleeping with my students it's such a punch in my face."
"You do sound like a good teacher." The lady gave her a smile that Emma didn't see. "It's honestly heartbreaking that someone took your kindness and threw it back into your face with those allegations." She added.
"It happened." Emma shrugged again. "Now I'm not allowed to be in close vicinity of any school. I can't talk with any of the students there without being picked up by the police. A new camera was installed to monitor my house 24/7. My stuff was searched by the police too." Emma lists a few of the things that happened to her.
She takes another huge gulp of the rum and continues to share her story.
"My girlfriend broke up with me 'cause my reputation is ruined. And to top it all off, not only am I getting hate and death threats online, but from my family as well." She lets out a bitter laugh.
"It can't be that bad, right?" The woman in front of her tried to wrap her head around the situation.
Emma simply took her phone out of her jeans pocket and opened the messages from her family, before putting it on the countertop for the bartender to look at.
"Take a look yourself." She said and pointed at the phone. "And those were sent only in the past couple of days." She continued in a mumbled voice.
Wanda's heart broke even further when she read the messages coming from people who were supposed to love the woman in front of her with their everything, considering she was part of the family.
While the lady read some of the texts she received, Emma took the opportunity to light up a cigarette. She still cringed when she inhaled the smoke.
"I'm really sorry you're going through this." She finally puts the phone back down and closes it not wanting to see those hateful messages anymore.
"It's whatever." Emma shrugged and took another drag from the cigarette.
"But it's not." She quickly tried to deny it.
"But it is." Emma shook her head. "I mean, look at me. All alone at a bar, sharing my life with a stranger, smoking while I hate this shit." She points at the half-smoked cigarette in her fingers. "It's pathetic, but it's whatever."
"Then, why do you smoke?" Wanda asks her.
"What else can I do? My life's ruined and got nothing left for me to live for." Emma shares something that's been on her mind since the whole chaos started.
"But there's got to be something." The redhead quickly replied. "You're innocent so after the investigation is over you could take your job as a teacher, back."
"But even after everything's done and it's proven that I'm not guilty, things won't ever be the same. I could never go back to teaching." Emma shook her head. "This stuff stays with you for as long as it can." She takes another sip of the alcohol before talking again. "They will always remember me by the accusations and be hesitant in interacting with me."
Wanda does not reply, she doesn't know what she can say at this point.
"Take my family for example. They were so quick to believe that I could do something like that. So quick to disown me. Don't you think they won't do it again or won't be weirded while in my presence? Heck, I'm banned from even seeing my nieces and nephews." She shakes her head and that proves to be a bad move since she's way past the tipsy mark.
"I think you had enough alcohol." The bartender takes the glass from Emma's weak grip and moves it behind the counter.
"Party pooper." Emma mutters.
"Do you have a place to stay for the night?" Wanda asks concerned while subconsciously leaning closer to the customer.
"Easy there lady, I don't want another allegation on my name." She jokes and laughs. "Plus, you wouldn't want to get involved with me, I will ruin your life too." She added still giggling.
"I don't think you would do that." The lady was quick to deny it.
"How could I not when everything I do is ruin things?" Emma makes another self-deprecating joke.
"I have faith that things will get better." The redhead spoke softly.
"I doubt it. Not for my career or my mental health." Emma shook her head, regretting the action once again. "I couldn't teach anymore without having second thoughts about every move that I make that could be misinterpreted differently. Even right now, I'm terrified to even look at people in case they think I'm 'perverting' on them or something." She used her hands for the air quotes.
"That's why you've been avoiding looking in my direction for more than one second tonight." Wanda concluded.
"Didn't want to weird you out even more, after admitting I'm you know, on the 'sex offenders' list." Emma shrugged once again.
"You didn't weird me out or anything. It was confusing yeah, but not weird." Wanda shared.
"Why confusing?" Emma asked this time.
"Because you don't look like someone that could be on that list. You wouldn't be as stressed about it if you were really guilty. And, I guess I could read you from the first minutes of walking into the bar. Some people have a certain vibe." She lists off.
"Okay, I guess." Emma replied and hopped off the stool.
"Do you need help getting home?" Wanda asked.
"Nah, I'm fine." She replied easily.
"You sure?" The redhead asked again to be sure.
"Yeah. Thank you, kind bartender, for listening to my tragic week." Emma fake-bowed.
"Wanda." The woman behind the counter replied.
"What?" Emma asked confused.
"My name's Wanda." The lady repeated her name.
'I'm Emma." She gave the redhead a small wave. "I would've loved to meet in any other circumstances. But you know, life happens."
"Take care of yourself, okay?" Wanda says instead.
"We'll see." Emma joked.
"Emma!" Wanda scolded her.
"I'll try." She settled for that.
Wanda nodded, accepting the answer.
And with that, Emma got out of the bar and started walking home. Her life is still ruined but at least she's drunk right now and it doesn't affect her.
That's a wrap for this one too. I got this idea last night and couldn't stop thinking about it for some reason. I hope you liked it! It wasn't the usual angst that we see in fanfiction. I wanted to take another turn in this case.
I'm just now looking at the clock and realize I've spent over 4 hours writing on this. Damn, I need to go lay down and do nothing for the next couple of hours. That or fall asleep 'cause I'm exhausted. I've had a long day.
Enough of me rambling now, I hope everything's good with you guys. Stay safe and take care of yourselves. See you in the next one!