Hey, hello. Long time no see. Sorry about that, university's been taking up all of my time. It barely started yet everyone's already reminding us how it's the last year and we will have huge exams at the end of the year. That and also our article for the diploma. Yay me.
Anyway, this one is hugely inspired by the movie Crush. It's an adorable LGBTQ+ movie with a lot of queer characters. It's honestly so cute.
High school AU.
Kind of a short one.
Emma's POV.
She looked so incredible. She was doing some simple task yet I couldn't take my eyes off her. I felt sparks inside of me whenever she looked in my direction or said hi to me in the corridor.
We barely knew each other but that didn't stop her from greeting me if she was nearby. That's how she was, always smiling and being kind to anyone in this entire school. Maybe that's why she was so loved by everyone.
That or maybe her beauty was enough to catch all of the attention whenever she entered a room. Her caramel hair and green eyes followed by a gorgeous smile got me hooked. Her brain was also a nice addition to the mix.
The girl was smart as fuck, any time she spoke in class I drop everything just to be able to listen and take every word in.
"Emma." I barely hear around me, too focused on my staring to pay attention.
Everyone in this school either wanted to be her or be with her. I'm placed in the last category obviously.
"Emma." A hand was waved in front of my face, bringing me back to Earth. "You're staring yet again." My best friend Claire tells me.
"Sorry." I mutter and avert my glance back to my notebook.
"It's the third time in the last hour. How she didn't catch on your crush on her is beyond my understanding." Claire complained. "Seriously, dude, do something about it!" She tries to push me but we both know I'm not going to do anything.
There's no way in which she returns my feelings.
Not when I see her admiring and paying close attention to my sister. My twin sister.
Despite being twins we are nothing alike. Our looks are different even though we are supposed to be identical twins. Somehow she took all of the beauty with her and barely left me anything.
She's perfect in every way, shape, or form. It's hard always being compared to her or living in her shadow. I know she is not doing it intentionally but it still hurts. Even our parents treat us differently. She's always a good student, being on top of the class while I'm the 'okay' one or 'you could do better' one. It doesn't even matter that there are times when I'm better at her at something. Our parents would congratulate her while telling me I did well or alright.
Even coming out she had to make it extravagant. Like, I come out and my parents say okay and we move on. She comes out and everyone makes it a big deal to congratulate her and show support.
I know she didn't ask for this either, and I imagine the constant pressure to be the perfect daughter our parents think she is, is taking a toll on her. It's not fair on her either.
We are somewhat close. I know I can rely on her if I need someone to be there for me or to talk with someone. But I don't do it as often as I used to. Nowadays she is hanging out more with the cool and popular kids while I remained with the close group of friends I have.
"If you won't do anything about it then try and move on." Claire spoke again after a few moments of silence.
"You think I haven't tried that? It's stupid how much this crush is affecting me." I mutter and turn to the next page in my notebook.
"You can start by going on a date with someone else." Claire suggests. "Let's see what are your options." She looks around.
"Claire." I give her a pointed look. "Stop it, please."
"But why?" She whines.
"You know everyone in this school is not my type. We have Anne who I swear it's a witch." I explain while naming the girls that are queer in our school. "I swear she put a curse on me or something."
"Don't be so absurd." My friend laughs.
"I'm serious. In freshman year she took some of my hair and I'm pretty sure she also stole my favorite pin." I say so sure of myself.
"Come on now." Claire makes a face at me.
"Dude, I swear. I remember talking with her in the corridor and then when I turned back one of my pins is gone. I looked everywhere for it." I tell her still remembering that day. "She must've used it to curse me or something. She is always staring at me and muttering stuff that I don't understand."
"I'll give you that one. She does act strange when you are around." Claire nods and opens her phone to check the time.
"There's Melissa as well, but she's hanging out with the cool kids and is on and off with my sister." I continue.
"Yeah, I've seen it too. What's that about?" The blonde asks confused.
"No idea. There's Amber but she's a player so it won't work." I go on and my friend nods in agreement. "Lauren, but she's already in a relationship with a girl named Camila that goes to the other high school in the city."
"There's Tessa too." Claire interrupts me.
"Are you kidding me? She's way too intimidating." I shake my head.
"Alejandra, the exchange student?" She continues.
"No thank you, her accent makes me combust. The other day she asked for a pen and I couldn't function anymore. Plus I heard she got her eyes on someone else." I respond easily.
"How about-" She tries to go on but I stop her.
"We're going to be here for a while if you'll name every queer girl from this high school." I roll my eyes. "My point is that I think I'm way too deep into my feelings for a certain someone to actually try to like anyone else." I explain.
Our conversation was cut short when the bell rang.
"Saved by the bell." Claire directs it at me making me laugh. "Don't forget that tonight Noah is hosting a small gathering, and you are expected to come."
"Who else did your boyfriend invite?" I ask hoping the list is small.
"Your sister and her girlfriend, Lizzie with some of her friends, some friends from his drama class and from his team. People that he's close with." She answers me easily.
"Oh, great." I nod.
And with that, we part ways. I have no idea what we did in class since I was way too focused on doodling on the back of my notebook. It's a secret passion of mine. My parents would freak out if they heard I want to do something else than study and run for my track team. This made me keep my doodles from everyone else, including my sister.
I only started sharing my drawings recently. It's mostly graffiti or prints pinned on boards. It's anonymous though, I wouldn't dare vandalize school property and then admit that it's me.
I started sharing my art as a way to try to let out my feelings for Lizzie. Every time I see her smiling or laughing at the puns I made in the artwork it gives me the best feelings ever.
Some of my works that have made 'me' famous around the school consist of: "All you knead is love" with a rolling pin and some dough. "I know it's cheesy but there's no whey I curd live without you" with some pieces of different types of cheese. "There's so mushroom in my heart for you" with, of course, mushrooms in the artwork. "The smore I know you, the smore I love you" with a couple of smores holding hands. "Here's my number, so kale me maybe?" with a kale leaf holding up a phone to its ear.
And finally, my favorite one. There's Ketchup and Mustard together. Mustard says "You finally mustard up the courage to dip me." And the Ketchup responds "Ketchup baby! I'm two steps ahead."
The whole high school loves them, they even made a fan page where they post every piece of art by me, that they find around. Of course, they don't know that I, Emma Bartley, am the creator. They have theories of it being other people that are artists.
I usually snuck up late at night to make my doodles so no one can catch me. And if I have a print with it, I'll come to school earlier than everyone and just hide in the bathroom drawing until people start arriving.
Before leaving the school, I made sure to 'accidentally' leave another drawing on a random desk in the hallway that had a bunch of other papers and fliers on it. There weren't people around me which made it easier.
When I got out of school I let my skate drop, but before I could step on it and leave this place, I bumped into someone. My instincts kick in and I take a hold of the girl's hands when I see her stumbling.
"Shit, I'm so sorry." I apologize and quickly realize that in fact holding Lizzie's arms. "Sorry." I say and let go of her.
"No worries, you just took me by surprise." She blesses me with her laugh. "I'm alright."
"Yeah, sorry. I should've paid attention to my surroundings." I answer sheepishly.
"Don't worry about it." She makes a dismissing movement with her hand. "You're going home on your skate?" Lizzie makes conversation which can only make my heart beat faster.
But I know I have to act normal with her. I don't want to freak her out with my feelings for her.
"Yeah." I nod.
"How you're not breaking your bones on that thing, is beyond me." The green-eyed beauty jokes.
"It's not as hard as it looks." I quickly deny it. "Do you want to try it?" I force my luck by asking her that.
"Me? On that thing? Do you want me to fall to my death?" Lizzie asks dramatically with a hand on her chest.
"You won't. Here, I'll help you." I offer and move the skate closet to her, with my foot.
"That doesn't seem safe." She shakes her head.
"I'll promise you, you're going to be fine." With a spark of courage, I offer my hands for her to grab onto.
"If I fall and break my neck, it's your fault." Lizzie mutters.
"If that happens, you have the right to beat me until you break something." I give her the option while chuckling.
"You seem confident that nothing will happen." She tilts her head analyzing me.
"I am." I nod and this time take a hold of her hands. "Step on it, one foot at a time." I instruct.
"Fine." She complies.
I try to ignore the sparks that I'm feeling everywhere in my body at the contact between our bodies, and instead focus on making sure she won't hurt herself.
She grips my hands so tight when she steps on my skate that for a moment I think I'll lose them for good. But I'll be okay with that.
"Bend your knees slightly." I tell her and when I see her following my instructions, I start to go backward dragging her with me.
"Oh, no no no no no no." She starts rambling while tension settles in her body.
"Try and relax, I promise that nothing will happen." I reassure her knowing I will protect her with my whole being if I need to.
With that, she relaxes slightly. Her hold on my hands is not as tight as it used to be, but it's still secure.
I start taking faster backward steps and I'm pleasantly surprised when I don't hear her voice any fears that she might still have or any complaints that I'm moving faster than she'd like.
"Okay, okay. This is actually not that bad." Lizzie giggles.
"See, I told you!" I give her a big smile. "You're doing great." The compliment slips before I can stop it.
"Thank you." She responds while a small blush settles on her cheeks.
Do I see it right? Did I just make Lizzie fucking blush?!
I MADE HER BLUSH!
I did that!
"Now, would you like to try and do it on your own?" I clear my throat and ask her.
Her head shoots up the next second.
"No! No no no no." She quickly shakes her head. "Don't you dare let go of my hands, Bartley! Or I swear you're going to regret it." She threatened me. Her eyes pierced into mine.
"Okay, okay. I won't." I chuckle and start moving a bit to the side so we could go back to where her things are.
"You going to the party tonight?" Lizzie asks me after a few seconds of silence.
"Yeah, you too?" I ask even though I already know the answer.
"Yeah." She nods. "Wait. What's that?" She sees something behind me and steps off the skateboard and starts walking in that direction.
I turn around too and try to see what got her attention. I take my skate in my arms and follow her.
"It's a new drawing of Pun's." She turns around to show it to me. "It must be a new one." She shows it to me.
I try my best not to let shock show on my face when I see a drawing I did while thinking of her. A drawing that was not meant to see the light of day. A drawing that got out of my back and was now in her hands.
It was a drawing of her eyes with some Coldplay lyrics on it. "Green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find. And anyone who tried to deny you, must be out of their mind."
I did it this morning while sitting in the bathroom before school started. It was different from my doodly and cartoony style. But she still recognize that it was by the same artist.
How did it get out of my backpack?
"It's." I stop to think of a way to not expose myself. "It's different from their style." I give back the paper.
"Yeah. But it's still incredible." She's back to admiring the artwork.
Subtly, I turn my backpack around and find the zipper open.
I facepalm when I realized that I must've left it open after I took the previous drawing out. It was windy and that's probably how the paper managed to fly out of my bag.
"Is this." She stumbles on her words. "Is this about me?" Lizzie asks confused.
I feel all the color from my face disappear.
"What makes you say that?" I ask in a surprisingly normal voice.
"In the corner of the paper, there's my name. Look." She turns the paper and shows me.
If I didn't already think I was an idiot, this would be the confirming factor.
How could I be so stupid and write her name next to the drawing?! This crush is messing up my mind.
"Yeah, it indeed is." I nod slightly, trying not to expose myself even further.
In my defense, this drawing was meant only for my eyes. How could I know it will get a mind of its own and decide to get out of my bag and land exactly in the hands of the person the content is about?
"I'm the only Lizzie with green eyes in the school. Or this type of green." She's back at analyzing the drawing. "Do you think Pun is in love with me?" The girl in front of me lifts her head and asks me with curious eyes.
"I mean, it's a possibility?" I respond uncertainly.
"Does that mean that the other love puns are for me?" She's still holding eye contact and I want nothing more than to be swallowed whole by the ground.
I'm moments away from combusting.
"Could be." I shrug, not giving much away.
"Damn, I'm very flatter by this mysterious Pun." Her eyes draw back to the paper in her hands. "I always felt a type of way while looking at their art, but now it makes me feel even more special thinking that I could possibly be their inspiration."
You are special, to me at least. I almost blurt out but stop myself seconds away from spilling my feelings.
"I have to find out who it is." Lizzie says determinedly.
Oh no.
"Would you help me find out who it is?" She asks with her big eyes that make me melt any time I look into them.
I'm fucked.
"Okay." I respond, barely above a whisper.
"Yay! Thank you so much!" And with that, she hugs me.
I'm so fucked.
I'm leaving this here because I'm having mixed feelings about this chapter so far. Like, it's cute but I don't think it's my best work yet. I kind of pushed myself to write something because I've been lacking and I don't like this writer's block that I'm having.
I would love to make a part 2 of this, so comment here if you'll be interested in one. I have a few ideas in mind.
How are you guys? It's been a while. Sorry about that, once again. University is making me lose all of my social life.
So expect the updates to be fewer in the next few months. I will try to write when I can and have time, but there's no guarantee. I hope you understand. It's my last year of uni and my degree is important.
Thank you for being patient! I will see you in the next one. Take care of yourselves.