I feel like this chapter needs a trigger warning. Attempted SA later on in the chapter...
Melody's P.O.V.
So, none of this wouldn't have happened if only I have chosen to break-up with Cornell over the phone or something. Then have him send my stuff that was still at his house over to New York for me. Or maybe have someone fly over there and get it for me.
But my dumbass felt so bad for crossing the line with Marshall yet again that night I laid down in the bed with him, that I had felt like I owed Cornell to break things off with him in person.
But anyway, let's start at the beginning...
Back to the morning of Marshall's court hearing...
I wake up with Marshall's arms still wrapped tightly around me, and I know right away that I had fucked-up.
We haven't done anything, we haven't had sex, and he hasn't even tried it with me, just like he said he wouldn't.
But it still felt to me like we did something.
Staying up almost all night talking, with his strong arms holding me close to his body, yep, definitely crossed a fucking line.
But I don't have the time to dwell on it right now.
By the time we get up, we have only like 2 hours to get ready.
Which is technically plenty of time, but really, it's not when something is a matter of life and death, how it literally feels like to us.
I go through all of the clothes I have in my gym bag that I had brought with me, and put on what I think is the most appropriate outfit for the occasion.
Marshall in the meantime is struggling to get himself in a suit and a tie, mainly struggling with the tie, actually.
"Stupid fucking thing," he mutters to himself angrily under his breath as he wrestles with it.
I sigh and walk over to him.
"Chill, I got you," I fix it for him exactly right, even though my own hands are shaking and trembling pretty badly at this point.
On the side note, I don't think I've ever seen him in formal clothes before.
He looks so strange dressed like that, the clothes looking so out of place on him, but suiting him at the same time.
I can see his nerves starting to get the best out of him too as he kind of fidgets in place.
"Look, Mel," he takes a hold of my hand that was just around his neck. "I just need to tell you that I'm sorry for anything I ever did to you, any time I ever mistreated you or whatever, and..."
"Haven't you already apologized to me yesterday?" I ask incredulously.
I can't help but think that it's so unlike him, to apologize so much.
"Yeah, but that was for the VMAs," Marshall says. "This is for everything else that I've ever..."
"Don't," I shake my head. "You sound like you are about to die or something," I try to make light of the situation. "You know, like you are trying to right all of your wrongs right before meeting your maker."
"I feel like I am in a way. I can't lie, this shit is humbling like a motherfucker," Marshall says bitterly.
"Well, you are gonna be okay. They... they can't put you away for this bullshit, Marshall! They not... So please stop, okay?" I chuckle nervously.
"I guess we are just gonna have to wait and see," he replies, face washing clean off any emotion.
Watching Marshall in court in front of that judge is almost surreal.
He stands quietly, with his head bowed, as his layers surround him.
The judge talking sternly to him.
It honestly breaks my heart to see him like this.
I've never seen him so... broken down before?
Made me want to reach out and just comfort him, because that man in that courtroom was definitely not the Marshall I know and am used to seeing.
When Kim gets on the stand, she looks smug as hell.
I can tell she's enjoying this, and I honestly can't stand her.
It's almost like she really does want Marshall to get locked-up.
But then it's all over so quickly.
Marshall ends-up being sentenced to two years probation.
No jail time.
I release the breath I didn't even realize I was holding in.
I watch Marshall stand in front of the cameras and make a statement about how he now just wants to put the whole thing behind him and concentrate on making music, his voice quiet, and like I've never heard it before.
Afterwards, me, Marshall, and also Proof, all walk back to his car.
There's still a bit of a tension in the air as Marshall slams the car door shut behind him.
He starts driving.
And I start to feel tears running down my face.
Marshall looks at me through the sideview mirror.
"Mel, what the hell is wrong with you?" he asks me.
I just shake my head from side to side because I honestly have no idea.
"Mel? Look, it's okay. Everything is alright now."
"Yeah, cheer up, Mel," Proof says from the front seat. "This fool got off easy. Told y'all he ain't going to jail. They don't even want that crazy motherfucker in there!"
"I'm sorry," I say. I wipe away the tears.
This isn't about you, Mel! Now pull yourself together.
But I guess I just haven't realized until the moment I've seen him in that courtroom, that it was a real possibility he might be going away for a very long time, and it just really fucked with me, I guess.
My phone vibrating in my purse brings me back to reality.
It's Cornell texting me, telling me that we need to talk. I frown at it, then
take a deep breath and reply back, letting him know I fly back later on tonight.
We do need to talk alright. I'll have to break-up with him. I know that now. I don't want to keep stringing him along when I know damn well that I don't feel about him the way that I should feel.
I feel like a total shit about so many things.
I had no business getting into a new relationship when I wasn't over my previous one. It took me way too long to realize this, but now that I have made such a mess of things, I need to start to untangle it.
What I'm realizing now is, I should just be to myself for a while.
Shouldn't be with Cornell, shouldn't be with Marshall either.
Because at the end of the day, what am I to Marshall other than what Cornell was to me? Nothing but a rebound.
Marshall and Proof continue to talk to each other, and I kind of tune them out, torturing myself with my thoughts.
We all get back to the house, and the guys are all planning to have some type of a party to celebrate, but I can't stick around for that.
I honestly feel like I need to get away from Marshall as soon as possible. I shouldn't be around him at all, because my emotions are all over the place, and I am not thinking straight.
I end up staying for like an hour or so, then pull Marshall aside and tell him that I'm gonna leave.
His expression is completely devoid of any emotion, as I say that to him, a poker face kept firmly in place. He just nods and walks me to the door.
I turn to him and ask sheepishly:
"Soooo, friends?"
He looks at me for an excruciatingly long time.
"Aight, Mel, if that's what you want," he finally says. "Friends."
I feel this weird ass mix of relief and disappointment that he's not trying to argue with that and then try anything with me right now.
See what I was talking about?! My emotions are completely all over the place, and I'm a hot mess.
Without thinking much of it, and completely on impulse, I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him. He hugs me back, and the way he holds me, I honestly never even want to ever leave his arms ever.
But then I take a step back, walk out of the door and leave.
I don't dare to look back at him.
I don't even remember how I got to the airport.
Hell, I hardly even remember the flight back to Saint-Louis.
Can't believe I'm flying all the way out there just to break-up with somebody. Could've done it over the phone, to be honest, but I feel like Cornell deserves better than that. Plus, all of my stuff is still at his house.
Interestingly enough, Cornell in his last text to me earlier today, actually said to me that he would pick me up from the airport.
Which he does.
I spot his car right away and walk reluctantly towards it.
"How you been, shawty," he casually says when I get in.
"I'm... okay, I guess," I uneasily reply.
I wasn't expecting him to be so... happy to see me, apparently?
What is going on?
"You had a safe flight?" Cornell continues as he starts the car.
"Yeah, um... I have. But Cornell, we need to..."
"And we will, shawty. Once we get to where we are going."
"And where's that?"
"Oh, I'm having a video shoot for a new video. I ain't tell you?" Cornell asks me completely out of the blue. "I was thinking I should put you in the video cause you'll fit right in.
Now I'm even more confused, cause I have absolutely no idea what's going on.
I feel like I'm in The Twilight Zone or something. Is he okay?!
"For which song?" I quietly ask, just to say something.
"Some new remix I'm adding at the last minute. You will love it, baby girl, I made it just for you."
I open my mouth to say something, then close it. I have no idea how to react to this at all.
And I just got off of a damn plane, I'm still fucking jetlag. How does he expect me to be in music videos when I have absolutely no energy.
And why would he? Yeah, I don't get any of this at all.
The rest of the drive is actually in a thick uncomfortable silence.
Until Cornell pulls up to this huge mansion.
"What is this?" I ask.
"That's where we shooting, Mel. Come on," he looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to get out of the car.
"Um... no, I don't think so, Cornell," I sigh. "Frankly, you are kind of freaking me out right now. Last time we spoke, you said you were gonna be done with me if I went to Detroit, now you all like I wanna put you in my new music video, I made this song just for you. What the hell is going on?"
He frowns and shuts the car door.
"Aight, Mel, let me tell you something," he says, suddenly dead ass serious. "When I first met you, back at the #1 shoot, I just wanted to fuck you. I figured you would be easy, cause you seemed to me like the groupie type. But then I actually fucked around and caught feelings for you for a minute. You wanted a whole fucking relationship out of this, so I gave you that. Because I actually fucking liked you. But what you go and do? Prove to me that you are just a hoe after all. So, if you wanna act like a hoe, imma treat you like a hoe. Simple as that, shawty. Let's go."
He gives me that little monolog, and I just stare at him in silence.
I feel my blood turn cold, and I think absent-mindedly to myself, that I guess I won't have to break-up with him after all, because clearly it's already done.
Then I blink as I realize that he still expects me to go somewhere with him, after what he just said to me.
"Go with you where?" I exclaim. "Do you really think..."
"Yeah, I really do think that, hoe. Let's go," with that he grabs my elbow and drags me out of the car.
I'm in so much shock, just because Cornell has never been this rough with me ever, that I just follow behind him and allow him to bring me inside the mansion.
Where I see a bunch of half naked girls and cameras all around.
"What the fuck is this?!" I finally manage to snatch my arm out of his grasp and back away from his slightly.
"What, this?" Cornell asks me evilly, and he's honestly like a whole brand new person right now. "This here is a video shoot for my song Tip Drill. As you can see, I have all kinds of hoes in here, ready to shake their asses. Only hoe that's missing in the lineup is you, baby. So drop your fucking clothes and get up in there with the rest of them hoes and shake your ass," he spits out.
I look around me.
It's honestly looking like a set up for a porno in here.
"Are you fucking serious?!" I ain't doing that!" I exclaim. "I'll see you back at the house, Cornell. We really do need to talk. But just to give you a hint where it's going, I'll be packing my things by the time you get back!"
I quickly walk out of that Playboy looking mansion and take out my phone to make arrangements for transportation back to Cornell's house.
Just like I said, I'm in there packing my stuff by the time he dies get back.
I have so many things at his house that it takes me damn near the whole day.
Some of my most essential things, I pack in huge duffel bags to take with me on the plane tonight to take me back to my old trusted apartment back in New York.
All of my other stuff, I'll have to ship to myself in boxes via a moving company.
I hear the front door open, then slam shut, as a bunch of rowdy voices begun to fill the room.
Cornell walks in with St. Lunatics.
He staggers like he's drunk.
All of them look drunk actually.
"Looky looky, what we got here," Cornell says as soon as he spots me carrying more of my things and stuffing them into boxes. "My lil shawty, Melody. How you doing, Mel? You shoulda really stayed for the video shoot. It just wasn't the same without you. But I forgot. You are in a real rush to pack your bags and run home to Detroit to Slim Shady. You must really enjoy being treated like shit, girl. Is that what it is? Cause if that's what you wanted, all you had to do was tell me. I woulda been gave you that."
I watch his little performance in front of his friends who are all looking me all up and down in a way that honestly makes me real fucking uncomfortable, and frown.
"You are drunk, Cornell," I sigh. "For your information, not that it's any of your business anymore, I'm not even going to Detroit. I'm going back to New York. I have no intentions of being with him again. It's not why I'm leaving you."
"Oh nah, it's not?"
"Nope. I just want some space. From everybody."
"So you gon tell me you ain't fucked that little white boy while you was..."
"No!!"
"That bitch is lying through her teeth," one of his friends says. "Fuck her up, Nelly."
Cornell frowns and looks me up and down and I just stare back at him.
"Don't be a pussy, nigga. Fuck her up!" The same guy says.
"What is your problem?" I turn to him. "I'm confused, are any of y'all in this relationship with us? Are..."
I don't get a chance to finish that sentence because Cornell suddenly walks up to me and backhands the shit out of me so hard that I literally fly to the other end of the room.
I sit on the floor, tasting blood in my mouth and rubbing my split lip, eyes wide in shock.
I honestly can't believe he would hit me like this!
"What's wrong, shawty," Cornell asks me. "From what I've heard, Eminem used to slap you around all the time. You ain't complain then, did you? You should be used to this shit."
"You are a fucking asshole," I finally say, wiping the blood from my mouth and finally getting up and off of the floor, as I stand on shaky legs. "At least Marshall doesn't pretend like he's a good guy."
"Oh, you mean, the way you pretend to be a good girl when you ain't nothing but a hoe, shawty?"
"I'm not a hoe!!"
"Sure you not. See, where I grew up, a bitch that fucks more than one man at the same time is called a hoe."
"I WAS NOT FUCKING YOU AND HIM AT THE SAME TIME!!" I scream out. "I never have!! To tell you the truth, Cornell, yeah, I wanted to fuck him. So bad!! I came close to it a couple of times too. But I never have while I was with you. I stopped myself out of my respect for you and this so-called relationship!! But obviously, I should have just..."
He hits me again, and next thing I know, I haul off and smack him as hard as I can in his face. Only for him to raise his hand to me again, knocking me back to the floor.
Then his 5 friends surround me, staring down at me like I'm a piece of meat or something.
"You see, shawty," Cornell speaks coldly from a distance. "If you wanna be a hoe, then you get treated like one. We share all the groupie bitches in St. Lunatics. Nobody ever touched you before, because you were supposed to be my lady. But now that you ain't anymore, I might as well just let my boys have some of you too."
"What are you talking about..." I start to say.
Then they all advance towards me, and I honestly have never been more scared in all my life.
I back away from them slowly at first, then straight up take off running in the opposite direction, but quickly enough, one of them catches up to me and they pin me to the floor, face first.
I start screaming, and flailing my arms, and hyperventilating, as I'm trying desperately to free myself from their grasps, but they are all grabbing at me, and holding me down, and ripping at my clothes.
I keep thinking to myself that this cannot be happening to me, this cannot be happening to me, THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO ME!!
"Get the fuck off me!!" I'm trying to fight them. But it's too many of them, and they are obviously stronger than me."Get the fuck off!! CORNELL!! You can't fucking do this to me! I'll go to the cops, I swear to fucking God, I'll..."
"Go to the cops, and you are dead, bitch," one of them says as they hold me down on the floor.
Then I lift up my head and see Cornell standing over me, looking down at the whole thing with a scowl on his face.
Then suddenly he says.
"Aw, fuck it, let her up."
"Are you for real..." one of the guys starts to say.
"Yeah, Murphy, I'm fucking for real!! Let her up!!"
They let go off me and I scramble up on my legs, trying feebly to cover up my half naked body.
Nelly picks up some of my clothes strewn on the floor and throws it at me.
"Get the fuck out of here, shawty," he says to me angrily. "Just get your stuff and get out. You go to the cops, you tell anybody about this shit, you are dead. Matter of fact, that cracker is too. I know somebody in Detroit that could end him and his whole family. And if I ever catch you anywhere near me again..."
He don't have to tell me twice!!
I grab whichever one of my bags is closest to me, fuck whatever other stuff I still have left at his house, and I run out of there so quick!!