Well, it's been two weeks.
Two weeks since I was shot in the shoulder. Thanks to Kate tending to the wound immediately and Laura once I got home, the bullet wound has been healing quite nicely.
It'll be a brilliant scar.
I'm now able to move it around without pulling at the stitches. Because, yes, I may have ripped the stitches almost immediately the day after Laura patched me up.
But to be fair, Fanny wanted to play catch. I can't say no to those puppy eyes.
I've been shooting to help keep it strong and to keep that muscle memory going. Light at first, but now it's just about back to normal usage.
What can I say, I'm a quick healer. It was barely a scratch.
Kate had stayed for about a week. But with the location she found being another dead end for us, at least in the terms of finding Nat, and not being able to do much to help us here, she went back into the field to help dig up something more.
I trust her more now; the informant Clint had working for us the whole time. Can't say I love how touchy she is, but once she got comfortable, she was even touchy with me. I've learned that's just kind of her persona. She will hug you. She will cuddle.
Let's just say Lena learned that she wasn't much of a fan of those lingering touches, either.
Yes, we had some fun with that. A slightly possessive and jealous Yelena?
I understand why Lena and Kate teamed up before.
Anyway, Kate has been out and about looking into whatever she can get her hands on that might relate to Nat so that she can get back to us.
Now we're all a part of those calls with Clint. Actually, Lena or I will usually FaceTime her and the others just end up hogging the screen.
Things with the parents are actually looking up, too. Minus the little hiccup with Clint that first day back, they've been really trying. Which I appreciate. It's a bit late for some things and that can be hard to swallow. Overall, they're doing their best now. That's all I can ask for.
I'm trying, too.
It also means we've been spending more time as a family. Breakfast together. Lena and the kids will join myself in dancing around as they assist in the making of breakfast. Nathaniel included, though he just sits there babbling away all cute like. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.
We'll have movie nights. We did another BBQ night. We'll run around playing football outside. It's what I had envisioned when my parents kept telling me they were having more kids.
The fact that Lena gets to be part of it all just makes it that much more special. I can tell she loves being with a family environment again, even if it isn't the easiest thing for her.
Lena and I had a chance to really talk things through. We both acknowledged the fact that we were neglecting things in the relationship and agreed to work on them, work with each other and on ourselves. Lena apologized profusely for making me feel like shit about Kate being her only family..
It was a really good talk, and we've only gotten better since.
We had another date night where I was able to take her out on the bike; to say she loved it is an understatement. I guess she's been wanting to go out for a ride since she saw my bike. I told her she should have said something awhile ago, then again I should have taken her sooner.
Right now we are having one of our famous movie nights. We've gone all out; we've got a blanket fort big enough for all of us 'kids' to sit in, stock piled with enough blankets and pillows to get lost in.
Lena and I made a trip out to the store to make sure we had snacks galore. I'm pretty sure Lila is going to crash soon from her sugar high.
Right now she believes she had the energy to stay up for a Shrek movie marathon.
She found her favorite spot between Lena and I, with her feet resting on me. I kept trying to nudge them off, but the kid was relentless. Lena started laughing at me. Safe to say she knows, now.
Luckily Lila only made it half way through the second movie. Not that she misses much past this one.
I scoop her up, she instantly snuggles in closer to me.
"Dang, Lila. You are not a toddler anymore, are you," I adjust her a bit before taking her up to her room.
I come back practically skipping. Now that Lila wasn't wedged between us, I could properly cuddle Lena.
I love the little bug, but she can be very clingy.
I'd rather Lena be clingy.
The second movie ends and the third one starts. I look around, only finding that Cooper myself and Lena are left awake.
Clint and Laura are passed out on the large couch. Should probably wake them so they can go up to bed, because they will be sore tomorrow as they are way too old to sleep like this. However, I don't have the heart to. I also don't want to move.
Lena is practically laying on me. I think I've just about lulled her to sleep by tracing patterns on her back. She loves when I do that.
"Elle?"
"Yeah, star?"
"You're putting me to sleep." Told you.
I chuckle, "I can tell."
"I don't want to fall asleep."
"Why not?"
"Because I want to stay up with you."
"I'll be right here."
"Mm. Nooo. You'll stop rubbing my back if I fall asleep."
"I won't."
"Promise?"
"I promise I will rub your back for as long as I'm awake."
"Mm." Yeah, she has about another two minutes until she's completely out.
"Dani?"
"Yeah, Coop?" I whisper back.
There's a long pause. I would look at him, but he's sitting behind the fort and I can not move most of my body right now.
"Are you really staying? I know you can't live at mom and dads forever, but.. but you aren't going to stop seeing us, right?"
"I'm sticking around, bud. I was away for way too long and I hate that I've missed so much. I've missed you. I'm not missing anymore."
Another long pause. This time when he speaks, I can tell he was trying not to cry. "Okay."
"I know my word doesn't carry a whole lot of weight, but I intend to prove it to you, okay bud?"
"Okay. You better. Not just for me. But Lila and Nathaniel are attached to you, too. Lila was really young when you left so she doesn't remember, but it was hell. I won't go through it again, and they shouldn't have to. Mom and dad would be broken, too. You've come back to us, you can't leave now. We won't be okay this time."
Well, shit.
"I know, bud. I can't take back what I did. I can only do my best to be there for you now. I hate that it broke you. You didn't deserve that. You don't."
"I just remember thinking I did something wrong. I'm not the greatest brother, but I didn't get why you had just left me. And you never called to tell me- I was just left wondering."
Damn it. I need to move.
"No, no Coop.." thankfully he moves into view with his tear stained face. "I hated leaving you and Lila, that was the hardest thing I ever did. I stupidly let the fact that Clint and Laura didn't call me make the decision for me. I shouldn't have. I should have fought harder to be here. I should have been here for you. I will be here for you."
He latches onto my free side, new tears soaking my shirt. I hold him until he pulls away wiping his tears.
"I love you, Dani. You're a great big sister. I need you here. We all need you."
I sniffle a bit, "I love you too. I hate that I had to come back under these circumstances and that it took me this long to realize how much I need you. I won't forget. You're all way too important to me."
He nods his head a few times. "Okay. Then, I'll see you tomorrow."
With that he leaves the room. It's just me, Shrek 3 and my thoughts.
All I that's running through my mind is how I can keep this. How I can protect my family. How I can save Nat. How I can do everything without it all crumbling down around me.
There's so much here for me now. I never thought I'd see them again, let alone care too stay. And yet, here I am.
I never thought I'd find someone that made me feel so whole, so at home; someone I want to spend my life with.
But I have.
I don't want to lose her.
There's so many things that could go wrong, so much is riding on me and what we're doing here. I have some big choices to make. Ones that will now determine the rest of our lives, not just mine.
I'm worried for what will happen, for what I may have to do. I have to make the right decisions, make the right moves at the right time. It's a lot of pressure, but there isn't much of a choice.
Not just for me, but for my whole family.
I just hope I have the time to do it.
——————
I don't know when I fell asleep, but I did. At some point while my mind was in a blur of thoughts and planning, I succumbed to dreamland.
Until now, when I am being so rudely woken up by a loud noise.
I slowly become alive to the world again as the noise remains persistent.
I start looking for the sound when I realize I'm not the only one it has woken up.
Clint and Laura are fully awake and rummaging through the blankets they're wrapped in for the culprit.
I look down hoping Lena is still asleep, but alas, she is awake.
"Sorry, star."
"Don't be sorry. Not your fault," she mumbles still half asleep. I start rubbing her back hoping to coax her back to slumber.
I guess Clint found, what I now realized since I'm fully awake, was his phone going off. I swear if that was an alarm -
"Hello? Kate? What- why are you calling at 3 in the morning. What're you-"
There's a pause.
"Okay, okay. I hear you. Just give me a minute."
I sit there desperately waiting to hear what she has to say. My heart pounding loudly in my chest, drowning out any other sound.
Then Clint is walking out of the room.
Only to return with a very shaken Kate.
I guess that wasn't the sound of my heart pounding after all.