Melody's P.O.V.
It has now been exactly a month since VMAs, and I've been staying with Cornell at his house in Saint-Louis.
I flew out there to be with him like a week after the After Party, hoping that living together would help us bond more, but instead we have been fighting a lot.
Truth be told, ever since that night at the After Party, Cornell stared to mistrust me, and I honestly can't even blame him.
I mean, I have crossed a line with Marshall.
And I would rather die than ever tell Cornell the truth about it, but I'm pretty sure he suspects things, he ain't stupid.
I mean, at the party, he played it off, because he wanted to make Marshall look like the crazy one, but as soon as we got home that day, he grilled me with questions.
"Fuck did dirty mean by he ain't done nothing to you you ain't want him to do, shawty?" He asked me angrily as soon as we walked through the door of my New York apartment.
"I don't fucking know, Cornell!!" I remember lying through my teeth, completely caught off guard by his sudden aggression, especially considering that the whole car ride back, he haven't given me any indication that he even suspected anything at all.
"Oh, you don't know, huh? Don't try to play me, Mel. Don't think I haven't noticed that you and that cracker disappeared from the party at the same time. Then he gonna walk back in right behind you, talking about I should be telling YOU to stay away from HIM. Fuck he mean by that?!"
"Nothing, baby," I sighed. I tried to caress his cheek lightly, and he moved away from me.
"God, Cornell!!" I exclaimed. "You don't know Marshall at all, do you? Let me tell you something about him. All he ever does is just run his fucking mouth. That's what he does best!! Don't listen to him!!"
"You still ain't answer my question though, baby girl. What were you doing with him out there?"
"Nothing!! I haven't done nothing, Cornell!! He followed me outside, okay? And he was talking shit to me, calling me all kinds of bitches and sluts for moving on from him too quickly, apparently. And that upset me cause he was being such a fucking hypocrite! So I... I slapped him and ran back to the party, okay?"
The best way to lie to somebody is to mix your lies with the truth. Marshall taught me that. Guess he taught me well.
Cornell still looked dubious, but he let it go.
Or so I thought...
All these days and weeks later, we are practically living together, but he still won't let it go.
If God forbid they are showing anything Marshall related on TV, and I don't change the channel right away, he starts questioning me about it.
Whenever I leave the house, he's asking me where I'm going, and he wants to see the proof that I really am headed where I just said I was headed.
His trust issues are through the roof with me right now, and honestly, he is becoming almost as posessive as Marshall.
And the thing is, with Marshall it used to kind of low key turn me on. With Cornell, it just annoyes the living hell out of me.
Guess I'm a hypocrite too.
Only thing is, I really do need Cornell.
He is the only thing stopping me right now from falling into my old habits with Marshall.
A place I could never go again.
So I continue to string him along.
Knowing damn well I don't really love him, and feeling guilty as hell about it. At some point, that guilt becoming the main thing that is keeping me put with him, to be completely honest.
I feel like I've changed him. Turned him into a bad guy from a good one.
I don't think Cornell deserves it, me treating him like this.
I mean, that's exactly what hurt me so much when I realized that I was nothing but substitute for Kim for Marshall.
Yet, I can't stop.
So we continue just like that.
We do have good days though.
The other day, Cornell was recording a new song for this album he's doing. It's mostly remixes of his old songs, but there a few new ones in there as well.
He says to me that the song If is loosely inspired by me.
He takes me to the studio with him when he records it. Making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I'm not the man sittin' next to the man
But I'm the man sittin' wonderin if I'ma ever see you
again
If imma ever get the chance to hug and squeeze you
again...
I swear I'll never leave you again
You ain't gotta worry bout it (Woo)
Dirty is simple man
I run up on you, "man and all", I ain't no
minute man
A G-4 headin' straight for Switzerland
Or independent 8-Mile down to Michigan
She so sit (man) an S-T-L Hottie
Apple bottom demin
The flyest thang in the party
Baby last could it be Mo-Lotte?
Got mo' back than she got body (Eh!)
Fall back, get 'Cris and drin' it up
Tomorrow hit the mall
And 'Cris you d-it up
Credit card to the max
Come Back!
I re. it up
If I'm movin' too fast fo' ya
Hurry to speed it up
Or ease up, whichever one you prefer
We yellow diamonds or the whites
Whichever one you prefer
Cali we do the drop
New York we do the furr
Easy Coast West Coast whichever one you prefer!
[Chorus]
(If I could...)
Take you...
Around the world...
(Take you around that w-orld
Then shorty would you be my girl...)
Hey
(Would you be my?)
Buy you cars (Woo), credit cards (Woo)
Big jewelry with diamonds, girl
(Woo, would you still be my girl?)
Hey
(Would you be my?)
That day, I honestly feel like maybe we would in fact make it.
Then Cornell ends up having to go do some promotions in another city, and I can't go with him, cause I have to fly back to New York that same day for a photo shoot.
I miss him as soon as I step foot back in my old trusted apartment.
I think he really is starting to grow on me!
I mean, he's a great guy.
I go to my photoshoot, and by the time I'm done, I am so damn exhausted, all I wanna do is run me a nice hot bubble bath and just relax.
The my cell phone starts ringing.
I don't recognize the number.
"Hello?"
"Yo Mel, this Proof."
I hold the phone away from my ear and frown.
"How did you get my number?" I ask.
"Hi, Proof. Long time no see. I've been fine, how have you been?" Proof says sarcastically on the other end of the line, miming a high-pitched voice that I guess is supposed to be mine.
"Hi, Proof. Long time no see. I've been fine, how have you been?" I reply back, in a equally sarcastic tone, repeating what he has just said to me, what I guess i was supposed to say to him, if I had any manners. "Now, how did you get my new number?"
"I've got my ways," he replies.
"Imma need you to be a little bit more specific."
"Your homegirl, Jasmine, I think her name is? I used to mess with her from time to time back in the day. I hit her up and she gave me your new number," Proof explains himself, and I shake my head to myself.
Why would Jasmine do that? And she didn't even tell me Proof called her for my number, like what the fuck?!
"Okay, so what's up?" I ask nonchalantly, trying to hide the fact that I actually am kind of curious as to why he would call me.
"Aight, so imma cut straight to the chase then, Mel," Proof says. "I need you to do me a favor."
"Oh, and what's that?" I ask, pacing around my apartment.
Suddenly nervous.
Forget that bubble bath, I guess.
"Aight, so you know Slim's court hearing is in like a week, right," Proof says, and I stop dead in my tracks. "For pistol whipping that bouncer?"
My whole world is suddenly crushing down around me as I relive the events I honestly never wanted to remember ever again in my life.
"Um... yeah," I say carefully. "I'm aware of that."
"Mel, let me ask you something. Do you still care about him?"
"Is that a trick question, Proof?" I ask even more carefully.
"No tricks, girl. You know I don't play that shit. Listen, the reason I just asked you that is because... well, I need you to come down here to Detroit the day before the hearing."
"What the... Why would I do that?!"
"Look, Mel, you might not realize this, but what Slim did, it's an assault with a deadly weapon. He's looking at like 5 years for this."
I swallow hard as my heart sinks in my throat. No matter how much I might hate Marshall at this moment, I still don't wish that on him. The thought makes me sick to my stomach, actually.
"And... and what do you want me to do about it exactly?" I ask, my throat suddenly so dry I can barely even speak.
"Melody, he wants to see you before his court hearing," Proof quietly says. "He would never admit it, the stubborn fucker that he is, but he wants you to come to the hearing."
My eyes go wide.
"No!" I exclaim frantically. "Nope!! No way in hell, Proof! Do you really think I would go be there for him after how he... Ask Kim to be there!! She's the one he did that dumb shit for!!"
"Mel, Kim IS gonna be there. She's testifying against him," Proof signs.
"Well, that ain't my problem now, is it?!"
"Look, Mel, I ain't even too for sure that it's even a good idea. But then again, maybe he does need to see you."
"Well, he just saw me at the VMAs, and we all know how that went..."
"Mel, I'm asking you as his friend. Would you please just fly out here. It would be for just a couple of days. After it's all over, whichever way it ends up going, you'll go back to New York. Or Saint-Louis. Wherever you stay right now. But just..."
"No," I say quietly.
Proof sighs.
"He talks about you every damn day, you know. To be completely honest, all of us are sick and tired of hearing about it too. He ain't never used to bitch about any female that much, not even Kim. Probably cause he knew how much we all hated her, and we wasn't really trying to hear it. So he would just call her a bunch of hoes around us, then write a lil song, and we won't have to hear anymore than that. But with you it's like he can't fucking stop."
"That's real cute, Proof," I say, trying my best to ignore the weird butterflies feeling I get when I hear that. "But..."
"Look, forget about all that," Proof interrupts me. "I need you to understand something about Em and his... situation. He's not himself. Whatever grudges you hold agaisnt him for doing you wrong, it wasn't even all on him. To tell you the truth, he's been wilding the fuck out lately. It's the pills. He's been taking too much lately."
"What, Ecstasy does this to him?" I ask incredulously. "I thought that stuff supposed to mellow you out. Not make you go crazy like that."
"Nah, but see the thing is it's not X, Mel. That's not what he's taking. I mean, he fucks with that too sometimes, but it's not what's been messing him up like that. It's the prescription drugs."
"What prescription drugs?"
"Look, I shouldn't even be telling you this, but he's been having trouble sleeping. He overworked himself too much, and he got some doc write him a prescription for sleeping medication. And then from that, it kind of escalated to muscle relaxants, and... other stuff. And he fucks with it way too heavy now, Mel. He's high all the goddamn time."
I put my hand over my mouth, not really knowing what to even say.
"Wow," is all I can say. "What are you gonna do with him, Proof?"
"Honestly, Mel, I don't even fucking know. Right now I'm just trying to watch over the stubborn motherfucker, make sure he doesn't get into any more shit."
"You really do look after him Proof, don't you " I quietly say.
Honestly, as mad as I am at Marshall right now, I'm glad that he's got somebody like Proof in his corner to have his back. I know that as long as Proof is there, Marshall would be alright no matter what.
"The stupid moron is like a brother to me, Mel, I ain't even gonna lie about that," Proof replies.
"I get it, Proof. I honestly do get it, and I respect that for real, but it doesn't have anything to do with me. I'm trying to stay as far away from him as I can from now on. For my own fucking sanity. I'm sorry he's going through all of this, but..."
I continue to talk, and the more I talk, the more I realize I'm trying to convince myself, way more than I'm trying to convince Proof, because deep down, I'm starting to break already.
Proof knows Marshall very well. And if he thinks Marshall needs me, then he probably does, and if I leave him alone in this, how could I live with myself?!
"Listen, Mel. Can you at least think about it? You've got a whole month to decide if you wanna come or not." Proof pleads with me.
"How do you know he even really wants me to come? He might flip out if I suddenly show up at his doorstep. You know how much he hates surprises."
"It won't be a surprise, Mel. Once you tell me you are gonna be there for sure, I'll let him know about it. Don't wanna tell him anything yet. Just in case you say you don't wanna come after all, then his fucking hopes get crashed."
I sign.
Then roll my eyes.
Then scream.
I really don't wanna do this!!
And yet I do.
I kind of do.
I...
I'm such a fucking hot mess.
And Cornell is not gonna like this at all.
"I'll think about it," I sigh.
"Thanks, Mel. You be good, aight?"
"Be good, Proof."
We hang up.
So this was more of a filler chapter. To set things up for more drama to come, of course 😈