"She doesn't know?" Natasha asked, looking at Belle with a horrified expression after Belle had revealed everything.
Belle shook her head. "How am I supposed to tell my daughter, the only thing that's keeping me here right now, that she wasn't supposed to be born? How do I tell her that she came from one of my most traumatic memories?"
"You don't have to tell her now. Not when she's grieving. It can wait, Belle." Natasha assured her.
Belle sighed and rubbed her forehead. "We're alone in this world and the one person who I thought understood ended up drugging me. I know I'm overreacting, but...."
"I warned him about what would happen and he didn't listen." Natasha shook her head slowly. "I know what it's like to be betrayed. I'm sorry, Belle." She reached over and squeezed Belle's hand.
Belle went to say something, however, the door opened, and there stood Steve.
"Nat, can I-" Steve stopped when he saw Belle. "Belle. Can I talk to you?"
"No." She crossed her arms.
"Why not?"
"You know damn well why. You drugged me!"
"Okay, first of all-"
"I don't want to hear it!" Belle stood up from her chair. "I don't care if it was for my own good! I would have been fine, all I needed was time to grieve naturally, not have that ripped away from me! I trusted you, Steven, and then you broke it."
Steve stared at her. "Belle, if you would please listen to me-"
"Not now." She huffed. "You broke my trust, Steven, and now you're going to have a hell of a time trying to get it back."
He sighed. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry isn't going to fix it." Belle shook her head. "I'm in the middle of a conversation, and I'd greatly appreciate it if you left."
Natasha flashed Steve a look that said, "I told you so." and nodded towards the door. With a defeated sigh, Steve turned and left.
A few seconds after he was gone, Belle began to weep quietly. All of these changes and betrayals weren't helping her mental state. Slowly, she'd spiral back down to where she was all those years ago, after all the work she put in to be better.
To do better.
Natasha sat next to her and kept a gentle hand on her shoulder, but kept quiet. Although Belle would never admit it out loud, she was grateful for Natasha's silent presence.
Natasha sat silently with her, never once moving from beside her.
Belle wept until she had no tears left to cry. There was so much to cry about, and not enough tears to go around.
"I think she deserves to know." Natasha spoke softly. "Not now, but before she finds out on her own. She's old enough to understand."
Belle sighed. "I know." She rubbed her head. "It's not something that can just casually come up in a conversation."
"You'll find a time." Natasha promised. "But right now isn't a good time. It is a good time to go back to her, though. I'm sure she's worried."
Belle exhaled. "You're right." She ran a hand through her hair. "But putting the thought that she wasn't wanted into her head isn't going to end well."
"If you take your time, it'll be fine." Natasha assured her. "She's a great kid. She'll understand."
"I really hope you're right."
Days ticked by. They dragged by.
Belle tossed and turned at night. Nightmares filled her dreams. She woke up in a cold sweat nearly every night.
She wasn't used to sleeping alone.
She felt terrible waking people up in the middle of the night with her nightmares. Not to mention that with her past, she didn't belong here. She didn't deserve this much comfort and luxury.
That's why she was packing what little she had into boxes. She was too focused to notice someone was standing in the doorway.
"What are you doing?"
She jumped. "Steven. How long have you been there?"
He shrugged. "Only a few minutes. What are you doing?"
Belle bit her tongue. Did she dare tell him the truth?
Fuck it, he'd find out anyway.
"I'm leaving." She admitted.
"Leaving? Why?" He asked.
"I don't belong here. Not with you all. Everyone knows what I am. I'm going to find an apartment where I don't wake everyone up at ungodly hours of the night with my pathetic nightmares." She sighed. "I'll take Autumn and we'll be fine on our own."
"Does she know about this?" Steve prompted.
"No, but she will in a few minutes." Belle stood up and walked over to the door. "Move."
"I can't let you do this." He sighed.
"Look, you're already on my bad side. Just move. I need to talk to my daughter." Belle insisted.
"Have you even thought this through? You'd be living on your own with no one to help you if something goes wrong. If you stay here, we're right here in case something happens."
"Of course I've thought this through! You don't know how much being here is killing me! After everything I've done, I don't deserve this luxury. I helped kill Tony's parents. Doesn't that say enough? Even he doesn't want me here. I can feel it." Belle huffed.
"If something were to happen to you-"
"I'd deal with it. It's not like I have a husband to rely on or anything." She said sharply. "Now move."
With a defeated sigh, Steve stepped to the side. Belle brushed past him and knocked on her daughter's door. When she heard Autumn's voice on the other side, she walked in and closed the door behind her.
"An apartment?" Autumn sat at her desk and spun the chair around.
"You heard?" Belle asked, shocked.
"How could I not? I got my parents' ability to hear everything."
"You're a little smart-ass."
"I take after you."
Belle tried so hard not to smile. But if anyone would be able to get her to smile, it would be her daughter. "That you do."
"Clearly someone doesn't like the idea of an apartment." Autumn scoffed.
"That's his problem. I know he's grieving because he lost his best friend, but it's different from losing the person you love. But it's also different than losing a parent." Belle sat down on the floor. "I won't understand what you're feeling and I'm sorry, but all I ask is that you don't shut me out. I'd never forgive myself if I lost you, too."
Autumn went from having a playful smirk on her face to having tears running down her cheeks in a matter of minutes. Like a small child, she crawled into Belle's lap and cried softly. Belle wrapped her arms around her and held her as she wept. "I just want a normal family."
Belle's heart broke for her. "I know, sweetheart, I know." She rubbed her daughter's back gently and held her tightly. "I wish I could give you a normal life. I'm sorry it had to be like this."
"Can I...can I decorate my room?"
"Absolutely." Belle murmured. "You can decorate it however you like."
Less than two weeks later, Belle was making dinner in her apartment. It was their first night in the apartment, and it was anything but happy. The best it could be was bittersweet.
Belle made a simple pasta dish for dinner with some diced potatoes and vegetables. There'd be leftovers for tomorrow, and probably the next night, and maybe even the night after.
"Cheers." Belle raised her glass of water. "To bittersweet beginnings, I guess."
Autumn smiled briefly. "Cheers. I guess."
The two of them ate in silence. It wrapped around them like a heavy blanket. It was almost uncomfortable.
"When you go shopping next, can I come?" Autumn asked softly.
"Of course you can."
"I, um, I'm running out of paint." Autumn rubbed the back of her neck. "And I need another notebook."
"I just got you a notebook!" Belle stared at her. "How have you used it all already?"
"I like to write." Her daughter protested. "It gives me something to do!"
"I'm only teasing, I'll buy you as many notebooks as you want."
Autumn grinned.
"Within reason." Belle added.
Autumn scoffed. "You're lame. Why can't I have the whole notebook section, mom?"
"Because notebooks are outrageously priced. When I was your age, I could buy a stack of notebooks for the cost of one now."
"Don't start with the 'when I was your age' statements." Autumn groaned. "You sound like an old person."
"Do you know how old I am?" Belle folded her arms across her chest. "Or how old you are?"
"Mom." Autumn grumbled. "Not again. I'm old, you're ancient, I know."
Belle didn't say anything for a few seconds. Ancient? Was this kid serious?
"You are a horrible person." Belle said after a few seconds.
Autumn grinned. "It takes one to know one."
Belle didn't know what to say to that. She stared at her daughter in shock. Eventually, she pointed to the door. "You are not my child. Bye."
Autumn only grinned more. "You'd be lost without me." She stuck out her tongue. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Unfortunately." Belle muttered under her breath.
"Hey! I heard that!" Autumn huffed. "Admit it, you'd be bored and lonely without me."
"You are so lucky I love you as much as I do." Belle warned, getting up to start the dishes. "I'll go through and mismatch all your socks when you're asleep."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Try me."
Autumn had her arms folded over her chest while Belle stood at the sink with her hands on her hips. Autumn was trying her hardest to keep a straight face, but Belle could tell she was struggling.
"Ugh." Autumn huffed. "You're impossible."
"Once you have more experience arguing, feel free to try again." Belle chuckled. "Remember where you get your attitude from, though. You can't argue with me and win. Now bring me your dishes before I make you wash them yourself."
Life was simple, being just the two of them. But at times, it could get lonely.
Autumn went to summer school so she could start properly in the fall. Each day she'd come home with someone or something new to talk about.
The apartment was quiet, too quiet, during the day. Belle needed someone, something, to keep her company.
"She's a sweetheart. She just doesn't like to be left alone for days on end." The blonde woman told her. "She gets lonely by herself."
Belle scratched the white cat between the ears as she purred in delight.
"I think she likes you. She hasn't been this fond of anyone in a long time."
The cat hopped up onto Belle's lap and curled up there. Belle didn't have the heart to move her.
"I think I like her, too."
That day, Autumn came home from school. Immediately, Belle said, "I have a question for you."
Autumn looked over at her. "I haven't even set my bag down yet."
"Okay, then set it down."
Autumn set down her backpack. "What do you want to ask me?"
"What would you say if I decided to get a cat?"
"What?"
"A cat. What if I wanted one?"
"Okay? So get one." Autumn shrugged. "Why are you asking me?"
"You live here too." Belle pointed out. "You wouldn't be mad?"
"No. As long as it's not going to eat my schoolwork."
Belle shrugged. "Not eat your schoolwork, but probably lay on top of it when you need it most."
"I can manage that." Autumn hummed. "I'm hungry, what's for dinner?"
"No idea." Belle tossed her an apple. "Eat that until I make up my mind."
Autumn caught it single handedly. "Can you make soup?"
"Maybe on a day when you tell me ahead of time. That takes all day to make." She reminded.
"True. Can we have something with rice? Or some kind of pasta?"
"I'll see what we have. Go any schoolwork?"
"Nope. Finished it all in class." Autumn hummed.
"Smart kid. What are you learning about?"
"Language arts, math, history, the usual stuff. Oh, I got into a debate with my history teacher." Autumn shuffled her feet.
"About what?"
"World war two. Well, mostly about the Nazis." Autumn shrugged. "My teacher didn't believe me when I said my parents were taken by them. He said it's not possible because that was almost eighty years ago. And now kids are calling you old."
"They're not wrong." Belle pointed out. "If you get any more trouble, let me know, and I'll go have a talk with him."
"I had an idea, though. But I need your help."
"Sure thing. What's up?"
A week later, Belle was walking into class with Autumn.
"The other kids are going to lose their minds." Autumn laughed. "No one believes me! Just stay out here. I'll come get you when it's my turn." Autumn disappeared inside the classroom before Belle could say anything.
She heard everything the teacher was saying, even though she wasn't listening on purpose.
"....very cool, Grace, now who's next? Autumn?"
A chair scraped across the floor and Autumn popped out of the classroom. She grabbed Belle's hand and dragged her into the classroom. "For my history show and tell, I brought my mother. She's a hundred years old and both her and my dad were captured by the Nazis. Tell them, ma." Autumn encouraged.
"Autumn, it's not possible-"
"You don't know your history." Belle snapped at the teacher. She took a deep breath before she continued. "I was born in nineteen seventeen, and I knew Howard Stark. I went to his science expos and helped fight in the war before I was captured."
"Did you see the flying car?" One kid asked with eyes.
"I did." Belle confirmed. "It didn't fly for very long, though. And I knew Captain America before he was famous. We were friends."
Were friends.
"I know all about you!" One boy beamed. "I've been to the museum before! It's in Washington D.C.! They have your picture up there!"
"That they do." Belle chuckled. "I was a nurse in world war two. I probably know some of your older family members."
"My grandma had a big sister who fought in the war! Maybe you know her! Her name was Anna."
"Maybe I do." Belle shrugged. "But I knew a lot of people, so it's hard to say."
The kids kept asking her question after question until eventually, Belle had to cut them off. "I know you're all having fun, but there are other people that want to share their show and tell yet. I can't be here the whole time."
The kids grumbled and complained.
"You should come back and teach us history sometime!" One of the kids blurted out.
"We'll see." Belle chuckled. "We'll see."
A/N: I went home a day early for Thanksgiving break because all my Friday classes were cancelled. No regrets. I am so happy to be home. If I would have left Friday, I would've ended up in the ditch. There was so much snow dumped onto my campus on Friday. People were going into the ditch left and right. Good thing I left early.
I miss my roommate and we've only been apart for 18hrs and I won't see her for another week :( I love her dearly.
I have been considering making a discord server for all my writings. It'll probably end up happening, because apparently everyone uses discord nowadays. And I'm the weirdo who doesn't understand it in the slightest.