*Warning, lotta swearing, misgendering and violence in this chapter*
Who the fuck does Andrew think he is? Telling me what to do, I'm 17 for fucks sake, I can do what I want.
I reassured myself as I sat on the kitchen ground alone. Andrews calm spoken words rung in my head and a horrible feeling settled in my stomach.
'You look exhausted'
'I'm responsible for you'
'I know you're better than speaking to me like that'
The fuck does he know?
I clenched my fists till my knuckles turned white and my teeth grinded against eachother as tears stung my eyes.
I could feel my heart in my throat, frustration and anger coursed through me, as well as that horrible feeling of guilt. I let out a pathetic sounding scream and grabbed at my hair as I tried to stop.
The dull feeling in my arm receded and was replaced by its usual aches. I took a breath of relief and wiped stupid tears from my eyes, taking a look around the kitchen. It was a mess.
I didn't know what else to do, there was so much emotion in my head I couldn't stop myself.
After Andrew left I just couldn't think clearly, something came over me like I couldn't control myself. A dull pain in my arm, spine and head drove me on as I wrecked the kitchen.
I had thrown everything out on the counter down, I opened up any cabinets I could reach and tore it all out. Mostly pots and pans and cleaning stuff. The washing up liquid spilled out on floor and I slipped, it all soaking into my jeans. It felt disgusting and made me more upset.
That's when I started kicking things, pulling out the chairs and using all of my weight to upturn them. I was just so angry.
And so I sat on the kitchen floor, trying my best to calm down. I've never done something like this. I've gotten angry before, but this was different, i felt so separated from myself. I was going off of pure emotion, there were no thoughts in my head, just frustration and anger.
It made me feel like shit, the guilt over wrecking Andrews kitchen, the feeling of no control. I just hated it all.
And what would Andrew say when he saw this? He's probably gonna kick me out, it's not like I was gonna stay here forever but... I don't know. Its nice sometimes.
I let out a shuddery breath and made a decision.
I need to see Ben again.
Maybe I could stay there or something. I just didn't wanna see Andrew, or see him see the mess I made. I don't know.
I stood and peeped my head out into the hallway. Andrew was probably up in his office. I snuck over to the front door and grabbed the handle. Having a little flashback to the night I tried to sneak out to buy pullups.
He was so nice to me...
No! There's no way I'm letting myself think like that over just a guy whose house I'm crashing at. That's all he is.
As I turned the handle, that stupid little part of my head started screaming not to go, to think about Andi. He was good, he had been so nice, he wouldn't be mad, just go to him, don't leave.
Often times I felt odd around Andrew, felt things I've never really felt before. Something in me just said I could trust him, that he was a necessary part of me. And that something in me was being horribly loud in that moment.
Fresh tears rolled down my face once I opened the door. My mind wailed and cried, I forced the feelings down and walked out of the house.
I walked for ages, I forgot bens place was on the other side of town. My legs ached and the god damn washing up liquid was making them chaff and my skin all itchy.
After far too long a walk I arrived at the shabby small bungalow.
I could laughing and music blarring from inside the flat. I swallowed my fears and with fake confidence, marched up to the door. I rung the doorbell, no response.
I banged on the door, nothing. Only after I rung doorbell about 5 times in a row, finally did it illicate a response.
"Some answer the fucking door!"
Someone yelled inside, a shadow appeared infront of the small frosted window in the door.
The door opened, letting out a truly foul smell, and the man on the other end laughed with his friends, until he saw me. His smile turned to a scowl. It was bens oldest roommate, Chris. The guy despised me. I crossed my arms and shifted a bit, uncomfortable.
"Oh for fucks sake- BEN THE LITTLE SHIT IS BACK"
I flinched at his volume but reasserted myself, fixing him a death glare. He fixed one right back.
We remained in a standstill until Ben finally elbowed his way into the doorway, pushing his roommate back.
"Oh my god Jamie-"
The roommate grabbed bens shoulder and spun him around. As if to have a private chat, but it wasn't very private considering I was literally watching 2 steps away.
"Send the little fucker away"
"No man-"
"What have we said about this runt coming in here. He just eats our food-"
"They"
"What?"
"They just eat our food, and that's not true. You guys just eat all the food and forget. Jamies alright-"
"I don't care about your fucking pronoun princess. He's not coming in"
"Oh just fuck off chris, go back to your party. If you guys can bring over your friends I can bring over mine"
These 'friends' in the background started trying to get Chris back, interrupting the argument.
"Dude just leave him, we've got our own shit to do"
"Yeah chrissy get back in here"
That voice seemed convince him as he immediate walked back into the house.
"Call me that again, I'll knock your fucking teeth out"
They all laughed and Ben rolled his eyes turned, before turning to me. His expression switching to concern.
Ben was dressed more casually than he did around his friends, dark green sweatpants and a loose t shirt with his hair tied up out of his face.
"Christ Jamie, come in"
I awkwardly stepped in and followed behind and Ben walked through to the left, where his bedroom was.
"What're you doing here James, I know I said come over, but I figured later when those idiots were all too pissed to notice anything going on around them. Did something happen?"
I shrugged, looking down at my feet.
"James you gotta talk or we're just gonna be sitting in silence and I'll be forced to tickle you"
I laughed a little and pushed him.
"Shut up"
"If I'm shutting up you have to tell me why your here.. and whatever is on your jeans, seriously its foaming"
"It's washing up liquid"
"Ah, perfectly normal. You can borrow something from me"
"Thanks"
We entered bens room, him shutting the door behind us. It was pretty empty, just a dresser and a small bed. But adorning the walls were loads of little trinkets, probably just blu tacked up. Bits and bobs that gave the room personality. There were a couple of restaurant food posters that Ben told me he took from their bins, some photos and other random stuff, even the side of his dresser was just covered in receipts.
'Each one reminds me of a good time I had out with my friends'
I could even spot one there from when ben bought me ice cream one day.
Ben pulled a pair of shorts out of his dresser and threw them to me.
"Get changed, then you're telling me everything"
He turned around and covered his eyes whilst I changed, leaving my gross jeans on the floor to be dealt with later.
I jumped onto bens bed and it creaked loudly. Ben sat down next to me.
"What happened James"
I let out a shuddery breath, still sort of shaken up from how I acted in the kitchen.
"Just- don't wanna talk about it for a second"
Ben could tell I was a bit freaked and just nodded.
"Thats ok man, how about you tell me more about that oldie you're hanging with now. Is he cooler than me?"
I laughed, Ben pulling my mind to more lighthearted things than whatever the hell was going on with me.
"No, he keeps saying radical for starts"
"Well thats a pretty cool word"
"Shut up its not."
"Ok then, but honestly Jamie, is he being good to my favourite kiddo bo biddo"
I scowled at the name but joked.
"What do you have other kiddo bo biddos?"
"No, that's why you're the fave. Now come on, how is he?"
I tried to think about how to describe Andrew.
"He um... he's nice. He got me new clothes and gave me loads of books with cool star pictures in them-"
Ben listened intently as I told him all sorts of things about Andrew and we'd done together. It made me a little sad to think about, but also happy.
"-And the other day he showed me how to make spaghetti and meatballs and it tasted really good, and we watch movies together and he always has the best snacks and-"
I realised how childish my tone was getting, all excited and stuff. I dropped the emotion and tried to list some bad stuff.
"And uh, he got his stupid nurse brother to do a check up on me. And he goes to bed super early so then I have to go to bed super early! It sucks"
"Doesn't sound like it sucks that much"
"Well it's definitely gonna suck if I go back"
"If? James what happened? Come on talk to me"
I took a deep breath and pulled at the sleeves of my hoodie as I began recounting the earlier happenings to Ben.
"Earlier when I got hom- back to Andrews... I told him I was gonna go meet with you again and he said I shouldn't"
"Oh?"
"He said I looked tired and he doesn't trust your friends or really you"
"Oh... I get that. Were not exactly a very friendly looking gang-"
"Theyre not but you are"
I objected and Ben smiled.
"Thanks James, anyway go on"
"Well um.. I got annoyed that he was telling me what to do and I started shouting at him"
"Shouting what?"
"That he was keeping me under his thumb and why does he even care so much"
Ben nodded along, putting a hand on my back, kinda like how Andrew does.
"And then he said he felt responsible for me, and I got really mad and said he means nothing to me"
"Does he?"
"I.... I don't know"
Ben handed me a tissue, I didn't even realise I was crying
"Th-then he said if I wanna think that way I can go wherever and he knows I'm better than talking to him like that. The fuck does he know!?"
I screamed into my hands, mumbling and ben pulled my hands away from my face and started to rub my arm as well, just like andi.
"So then he left and I got really angry... and I wrecked his kitchen"
"Howd you wreck it?"
Ben encouraged me.
" I dunno I threw stuff, spilled a bunch of bottles-"
I motioned to my washing up liquid soaked jeans.
"And I punched some things..."
I put my head down
"You were punching things?"
I nodded.
"Alright- show me your knuckles"
I frowned, Ben always did this. It was like a little ritual we had. Whenever I'd get angry and start punching stuff or got into fights, and I'd eventually tell Ben. He'd check my knuckles, generally look me over. He looked out for me. He's like a brother to me.
I gave him my hands and he ran his fingers over my knuckles. I winced as they burned.
"Not too bad, you've certainly done worse"
I suddenly interupted him.
"It was different..."
"What do you mean?"
"When I got angry, it felt like I changed. My head and my back and my arm all felt weird. It was really annoying"
"Your right arm?"
I sighed, knowing what he was insinuating.
"Yeah..."
"So do you think it had anything to do with the~"
He whistled, pointing where my bite mark was. His pointing got a little too close and I instinctively recoiled.
"Maybe, I dunno. I haven't changed in any way. Maybe I'm not even one. Maybe it's just a stupid gross dog bite that hasn't healed"
Ben raised an eyebrow at me.
"Jamie come on, its been like 2 years you gotta just accept it at some point"
"Accept what?"
"Jamie I'm pretty stupid, let's be real, but I know you're changing. And James..."
He put a hand on my other shoulder and gave me the most sympathetic look.
"Fighting against this change is doing you no good"
I tried to joke.
"You make it sound like I'm going through puberty again or something"
Ben nearly laughed but stopped himself, trying to be serious.
"James listen to me, you are changing. You're getting more emotional and I think youve literally gotten smaller"
I frowned.
"Fuck off I'm not changing. I'm fine, nothing is wrong with me. I'm just overwhelmed with Andi and stuffs"
"James-"
"No you're just like Andi! Trying to make me into something I'm not, I'm not a werewolf! You just think I am!"
Ben hummed in frustration at my stubbornness.
"Jamie im just giving you facts. You got bit by a werewolf, and you're turning- no you are a fucking werewolf!"
"So what, do I look like one? No! I'm just what you said, I'm small, emotional and weak!"
"I never said you were weak.."
"You meant to!"
I screeched, my voice going into a horrible high pitch. That's when I really started to cry.
I pulled my knees up and started to sob into them. Ben sighed and put his hand on my back.
"James, I dunno how werewolves work, this could just be part of it all or something. We both don't know"
"You should know, you know everything"
I mumbled and Ben smiled.
"You've been very flattering of me today james... but you haven't been very flattering towards Andrew"
"Cause hes being stupid"
Ben pushed hair from my face.
"Jamie, I know you've got your whole tough little persona going on, but I can tell you care about andi"
I just about blushed at Ben calling him andi. Only I do that, and it's dumb.
"I don't"
I tried to defend.
"Really Jamie? I've known you for so long man, I notice stuff. Easy stuff like how comfy you are in your new clothes, you've cleaned up and other things. Like how relaxed you were around him at the shops, and you're normally the tensest kid I know. And just the way you talk about this guy. You make him sound like a good guy. Someone you can rely on. A caregiver"
I pretended I wasn't listening as Ben rambled, I didn't like where the conversation had gone. Ben continued trying anyway.
"James if your whole werewolf thing is effecting you like I think it is. You're gonna need support."
"I have you!"
"No Jamie, you know I can't help you as much as I'd like to"
"No you just don't wanna listen to me anymore"
I sniffled and Ben cursed under his breath.
"Look James I mightve overstepped and I'm sorry. I just think you should try opening up to Andrew. He sounds like he actually has your interests at heart"
I sat myself up, about to respond to Ben when there was a knock on his door. We snapped our heads to it and I gulped, it had gone quiet out there, I don't even know for how long.
Ben squeezed the hand on my shoulder in a way of comfort. He yelled out.
"Go away, not taking visitors!"
The voice of Chris yelled back from the other side of the wall.
"You know Ben, there's thin walls in this house, real thin walls"
The door was kicked open and Chris barged in, bens 2 other roommates, Liam and Noah standing in hallway.
"I always figured there was something wrong with the kid but never would I have expected a werewolf. This little fucker, a big bad scary werewolf"
He laughed and took another drink, throwing the empty bottle to the ground. I covered my head and ears with my hands, but still heard the rest of his friends laugh as well.
Ben stood, seething with rage. I was frozen out fear.
"Get the fuck out of my room"
"No can do benny, you've been coming up short on rent for a while now, and we've been letting it slide. Cause hey, you're fun to have around, but you gotta draw the line somewhere"
"What're you talking about? Ive been paying"
"Rent went up"
"What?!"
"Shit happens, that's how the world works kid, but don't worry...
He smiled evily and stared me down.
"you're little friend here has just presented a wonderful opportunity to pay off your debts"
The other 2 roommates looked to me, wicked smirks adorning their faces. One of them, I think Liam, spoke up.
"Do you even know the kind of money werewolves go for? People would a fortune just for his blood, could change our lives. You understand Ben-"
Ben cut him off and stepped in front of me.
"Don't you say another fucking. You're not laying a finger on them, you hear me!"
Chris groaned.
"Ben you're usually so much chiller than this. Alright, grab him"
The two in the door stepped in, walking casually over to Ben. He tensed and tried to threaten them again.
"Don't you fucking dare, get away from-"
"Ben!"
I screeched when when Liam suddenly swung a punch at bens face, he dodged and tried to push him away, only to be swiftly punched in gut by Noah. Ben let out a horrible breath and doubled over. Liam hit him in the back and I cried out as he fell to the ground, groaning and trying to stand.
"Stop STOP!"
I screamed and beggedas they started kicking Ben, horrible crunching sounds sounding through the air. I cried, tears streaming down my face as they continued to beat my friend.
"NO STOP IT"
I lunged forward and pulled at Noahs t shirt, desperately trying to pull him off ben.
"Get off him!"
Part of shirt ripped off into my hand. Nothing stopped for a second as he realised.
"I like this shirt you piece of shit!"
He elbowed me just bellow my neck and I gasped and spluttered as I fell back into the bed.
"Enough-"
Chris called and the two stopped.
"Don't mame him now. Liam help me with the kid, got a feeling he's gonna be a wriggler"
"Aight"
Liam straightened himself up, leaving noah to lift Ben by his armpits and drag him out of the room. I couldn't bare to see his swollen and bruised face, but I couldn't stop looking. I cried as he was dragged away.
"Quit your bitching"
I had to pull myself away from the Ben to the two men now leering over me. I gulped and tried to say something.
"P-p-please nuh-nuh-no"
"Aw not such a tough guy now are ya?"
I sobbed and scrambled back, onto the bed as far as I could, my back hitting the wall. I was still cornered though.
Liam went first. He grabbed onto my hood and pulled me forward, before getting a tighter grip around my collar and lifting me up off the bed, choking me. He laughed as I pulled at my collar, trying to lessen the pressure.
That's when Chris grabbed my legs, pulling them out from under me and leaving me suspending between the two guys.
I thrashed and kicked, doing everything I could to get the men off me. But all I got was a slap across the face from Chris. I yelped and they both laughed.
They across the hall and into the sitting room where there a group of guys and a couple girls sitting around. They all looked incredibly uncomfortable, eyeing an armchair in the corner of them room that held bens broken form. He looked knocked out. I cried out hoarsely.
"Ben!"
"Jems"
I hear him say quietly as he shifted a bit and I let out a slight sigh of relief. But I was brought back to this nightmare by Chris calling out to his party goers.
"Look at what we got here guys, put him on the table liam"
The coffee table was cleared of all the trash and I was thrown down onto it. I whimpered as my arms were pulled back and pressed hard into my back. I tried to kick my legs but got another slap so I stopped.
One of the girls stood, and yelled at Chris.
"What the fuck Chris! That's a fucking kid. I don't wanna be apart of this"
She tried to leave but Chris blocked her exit.
"Amy hold on, this isn't a kid-"
He paused for a moment, putting both his hands on her arms
"It's a godamn werewolf"
Someone else yelled.
"Quit your bullshit Chris"
Chris got mad at that
"It's not bullshit, I've been listening to these two for a year now, being all secretive. I knew there was something wrong with this little fucker, and I finally know. Werewolf"
"You're actually being serious"
A guy asked. Chris smiled.
"Oh yeah man, this one is gonna change it for us all."
He walked over and grabbed my head, holding it down on the hard wooden coffee table. I screamed and shouted, not even trying to stay tough anymore, I was so scared.
"Let me go! Please just let me go"
I squirmed about as much as I could.
"Someone else hold him down"
Another hand switched with chris' for my head and a few other held down my shoulders and legs. I cried and cried, begging them to let me go. They wouldn't.
All the fear and panic started to feel like it was going through my veins. My body using it as a form of power. Everything seemed to still for a second as I felt the annoying dull feeling return to my arm, then my head, then it travelled down my spine.
It was stronger this time, everything was a blur, I could feel their hands, hear their taunts and smell the beer, but my vision was choppy. I was back on my instincts, fight or flight.
The feeling turned to a seering burning and I let out a horrifying sounding scream. It was so loud, piercing through the air.
Everyone around stopped laughing, a couple gasped. I felt the hand holding my head down loosen and I seized my opportunity.
I spun around and bit the closest bit of flesh.
"AGH IT FUCKING BIT ME"
The rest of the hand on me pulled away. I sprang up, standing on the coffee and saw everyone's horrified faces. What were they all staring at? I regrettably froze, mimicking the room around me
Suddenly Ben jumped out of the chair, noah apparently stopping holding him down. He ran to me, I thought he was going to attack me, but he shouted.
"Jamie get down!"
I ducked off the table and Ben jumped over me, throwing himself at Chris, who I hadn't even realised was about to grab me from behind.
"RUN JAMIE, FUCKING RUN"
Ben screamed as he tried to hold Chris down, him already being pulled off by the others. I heeded his words, sprinting out of room, dodging out of the way of people attempting the grab hold of me
. I was almost out when one of the girls caught hold on my wrist. I spun around and kicked her in the shin, her letting go to clutch it.
"Ah fuck-!"
She screamed and I turned to keep running, throwing open the front door and dashing into the night. I heard someone yell from behind me.
"Someone go after it!"
That kept me running as fast as I could for as long as I could, evidently a very long time. The more I ran the more the pain coursing through me disapated, so I kept up.
Eventually the pain completely subsided, I looked around and found myself back outside andis house. The warm sitting room light shining through the window.
Just the sight of it made me start weeping. I ran to the door and jiggled on the doorknob frantically, still afraid someone had followed me.
I yanked the door opened, stumbling inside and falling hard onto my knees.
I figure came running out of the sitting room. It was Andrew, he stopped staring in horror at my beaten form
"Jamie?"
My teary eyes met his wide ones and I held out my arms to him.
"Andi"
I murmed and he immediately enveloped me in a warm soft hug. I knew it then, I was safe.